Cop Encounters - Any Interesting Stories?

[Pillock]

Proceeding at a lively pace in my Polo G40, as was a CRX that happened to be using the same piece of road as at the same time. Coming round a corner on a NSL single carriageway, there's a plod car in a layby on the opposite side facing the other way. We both may have been taking a rather fruity line too.

 

I see him start to spin around as we crest a hill, still doing an impressive pace. I have two options, carry on or leave the scene - and it just so happened there was a right turn down a dirt track. Dive right, CRX carried on, I see pretty blue lights thankfully go straight on. Polo never did ride well after 40-odd MPH down a forest track though.

[Timewaster]

Circa 1997 me and a mate had gone to look at a prospective motorbike purchase (for him, I had only had my VFR a couple of months).

The bike place was shut. My mate was a knob and never checked the opening hours.

We stopped in the next town to console ourselves with a bag of chips. Sat outside the chippie with the bikes on the pavement, a police car drives s-l-o-w-l-y past.

They return a few minutes later and stop. One gets out and walks straight to my bike and walks around it, inspecting it quite thoroughly and totally ignoring my mates GSXR1000 with its loud exhaust, tiny plate and sticker that read "move over you wanker" backwards across the screen.

I was more curious than worried as my bike was 100% legit.

 

Turns out the bike used to belong to the copper who had only sold it to pay for his daughters wedding.

We chatted about it for 10 minutes before wishing us a safe ride home while all the time my mate was quietly shitting himself he was going to get done.

[purplebargeken]

Just after my Dad died, I was in Liverpool with my cousin who offered to show me around the Docks. Last time I'd been there it was 1980 and I was in the Merchant Navy. He drove on to the main road leading to what was the Merchant Navy Pool and on the opposite side, the Seaman's Mission. He'd gone through the light on amber and I thought nothing of it.

 

As we pulled up at the next set of lights I was pointing here and there telling him what had been part of the Navy buildings and then a lone copper pulled up along side. I saw him looking over and again thought nothing of it. We pulled away from the lights and next thing my cousin gets pulled. Copper does him for going through a red light when he exited the side road further back

 

I wrote a statement for my cousin for the court hearing but as he was representing himself he gets done. We are not happy. The copper fabricated a whole ton of lies.

 

It was appealed and heard at the court in Liverpool on Christmas Eve. I travelled up and gave evidence. This was all before I had the wallop on the head and gave a virtually blow by blow account of what happened. The cheeky prosecution barrister sarcastically says that I seemed to remember it all rather well. I said in my best posh voice that I would happily go into further detail if he wished and I then went into uber detail mode and described exactly what the cop was wearing, sleeves rolled up, facial description, hair colour, style and build. The exact positioning of the car, the cop car and exactly what I was doing and why we were there. The barrister shut up very quickly. It turns out that the copper had alleged that my cousin had gone through a red light, caused the copper to swerve and nearly crash, the cop said that he had put on the blues and two's and pulled him over. I laughed and said that the officer must have confused this case with another as how could I have possibly described what I did if he had never been along side.  'No further questions m'lud' said Mr. Cheeky Barrister. The Judge kindly let me scarper off to catch the train back down to London. I get a call later that night from my very happy cousin who had been totally acquitted. The Judge gave the copper a formal bollocking and was going to inform his superiors. 

 

Sometimes it does go right.

[warren t claim]

An interesting encounter involving yours truly on a Yamaha FZR1000 and a couple of 24v police Senators.

 

Probably only lasted 10 minutes but felt like an eternity.

[Matt]

Polo never did ride well after 40-odd MPH down a forest track though.

 

I can't recommend driving on said roads after fitting cheap lowering suspension. Holy shit what a mistake that was, I didn't know it was possible for a car to be that uncomfortable.

 

Just after my Dad died, I was in Liverpool with my cousin who offered to show me around the Docks. Last time I'd been there it was 1980 and I was in the Merchant Navy. He drove on to the main road leading to what was the Merchant Navy Pool and on the opposite side, the Seaman's Mission. He'd gone through the light on amber and I thought nothing of it.

 

As we pulled up at the next set of lights I was pointing here and there telling him what had been part of the Navy buildings and then a lone copper pulled up along side. I saw him looking over and again thought nothing of it. We pulled away from the lights and next thing my cousin gets pulled. Copper does him for going through a red light when he exited the side road further back

 

I wrote a statement for my cousin for the court hearing but as he was representing himself he gets done. We are not happy. The copper fabricated a whole ton of lies.

 

It was appealed and heard at the court in Liverpool on Christmas Eve. I travelled up and gave evidence. This was all before I had the wallop on the head and gave a virtually blow by blow account of what happened. The cheeky prosecution barrister sarcastically says that I seemed to remember it all rather well. I said in my best posh voice that I would happily go into further detail if he wished and I then went into uber detail mode and described exactly what the cop was wearing, sleeves rolled up, facial description, hair colour, style and build. The exact positioning of the car, the cop car and exactly what I was doing and why we were there. The barrister shut up very quickly. It turns out that the copper had alleged that my cousin had gone through a red light, caused the copper to swerve and nearly crash, the cop said that he had put on the blues and two's and pulled him over. I laughed and said that the officer must have confused this case with another as how could I have possibly described what I did if he had never been along side.  'No further questions m'lud' said Mr. Cheeky Barrister. The Judge kindly let me scarper off to catch the train back down to London. I get a call later that night from my very happy cousin who had been totally acquitted. The Judge gave the copper a formal bollocking and was going to inform his superiors. 

 

Sometimes it does go right.

Seems to be quite a few bikers on here, is there a dedicated thread for them hiding anywhere? I've been on the verge of starting my training for about a year but haven't quite pushed myself to do it yet. Edit: I knew there was, found it.

[dieselnutjob]

I used to live in Hatfield Heath and travelling regularly in and out of Harlow to work, and in and out of London in the evening.

 

One night I was on my way home, up the A414 and onto the B183 towards home.

It is 60 limit so I was doing probably nearer 70.

As I passed one of the side turnings I noticed a police car, and noticed that he started to come out to follow me, but he made no effort to keep up.

 

I knew what we was going to do.  He was planning to catch up with me in Sheering where the speed limit drops to 40 but because it's a dead straight road through there he thought I would probably speed.

 

So I had a little fun.  I was in a 305 GTX that day.

 

Between that place and Sheering there is very twisty bit where it drops down into a little valley and they climbs up the other side towards Sheering.

 

As I went around the first bend at 60 the police car went out of sight, and I absolutely hammered down the valley and up the other side, with him not able to see what I was upto because of the twists.  I think I was doing near 90 as I came up the hill into Sheering, and then slowed down to 43 and drove along that long long straight.

 

I had got almost to the end of the 1 mile Sheering high street before he caught up with me to measure my speed  which was 43 in a 40 

 

He did pull me over in Hatfield Heath to breathalise me and be sarcastic about my driving but it was good fun.

[CortinaDave]

If you watch traffic cop type tv programmes they are always on the lookout for old bangers so pretty much anything pre 2000 that isn't mint. Just about everything I've owned gets unwanted police attention but they usually just follow me for a bit, put my details through the system then fuck off.

The last time I got stopped I was driving a Renault 18 with different coloured panels that didn't belong to me. I told them the truth* that it was my pals car, I'd borrowed it and was driving 3rd party through my own insurance. They didn't believe me but since I wasn't breaking any laws they let me go.

The reason they stopped me was to check my tyres... They only checked one of them. Anyone else feel discriminated against for driving shite cars?

Yep - fife are particularly obsessed with hassling drivers of old motors. I've had three tugs in the last 6 months accompanied by the usual roadside MOT while they look for something to do me for.

 

I didn't get a single look from them when I drove the MG ZT, since I've been driving the M reg cavalier and J reg calibra they at least glower every time they see me.

 

Very annoying, especially when both cars are really tidy.

[DodgyBastard]

I got pulled loads in my polo saloon but my breadvan got no attention at all from the police. It must be cars that stand out that really attract their attention. On some occasions I had asked why they stopped me, they usually came up with some bullshit about late night, drunk drivers etc and when I asked if it was because I was driving an old car they would always deny it.

[CortinaDave]

The old idea that if you're nice to them you won't get a ticket doesn't work anymore either - they're heavily targeted these days to collar x amount of speeders, folk not wearing their seatbelt, dodgy tyres etc in a day, so if they find something you're getting done no matter how friendly you are.

 

I suspect that if they see an old motor they just think there's more chance of there being something wrong with it they can ticket you for so pull you over on a trivial excuse.

 

Personally I'd be targeting drivers of cars just under 3 years old before their first test... The amount that have had zero maintenance since new and have utterly bald tyres is surprising

[JohnK]

I agree with that point.

 

My experience is that old cars on the road are generally still around because they have been cared for and well maintained.

 

However Joe Bloggs who can't afford his 2 new tyres coz he's throwing his £250 disposable income away on a green corsa with white wheels and white stripes is probably more of a risk.

[Pillock]

I was just under the impression that an old Rover 25 or a grimy Fiesta were easier to pick up for a couple of hundred quid privately, drive until the MOT runs out dealing drugs to kids, and get rid. Changing cars often makes you harder to be seen by the cops, and if they do chase you and you leg it you've not lost your favourite motor. That's why cops like to check over old cars.

 

I did get pulled coming out of a pub, but not even breathalysed. Stone cold sober so maybe he could tell there was no point, but he just warned me that my brake light was out. I was quite honest and said I'd love to fix it but the car was getting chopped in in the morning, thanks for pointing it out but I'll save the £2 on the bulb. He laughed and sent me on my way. NACAB.

[Bren]

Look on the plus side.

 

Cop encounters will become a thing of the past over the next five years.

 

You will have G4S encounters instead.

[Skoze]

Myself and my group of mates have all been quite lucky with plod, perhaps it comes with the territory around here that boys will be boys and we all generally run fairly interesting motors. The Land Rover gets no bother despite looking like it's just come out of a field, however the Capri is regularly shadowed by Traffic, probably due to some scruffy oik driving about in what is quite a smart 3.0 that the majority of the officers still remember from their own yoof. 

 

One 'interesting' story comes from one of the aforementioned mates, in another Capri. 

If anyone knows Shoreham, you'll know the roundabout under the flyover. Properly GR8 4 Driftin. 

 

Anyway, mate of ours was doing laps, sideways, in his matt black Capri at late-o-clock. Comes round once, notices a car approaching, comes round again, notices the reflective check down the side as it pulled up. Cock. 

 

They both park up, officer walks up and asks "what the actual fuck" matey thought he was doing. Calm as anything, he replies "I'm awfully sorry officer, I just didn't know what exit to take".

 

Humour won out, and our mate escaped with a section 59 and the threat of the car becoming bean cans if he was ever caught doing it again. 

[Noel Tidybeard]

mate had a sierror 2000e coswoth* an whilst turning right a a set of lights in shirley (solihull) he kicked the arse out, which a 2000e will do nicely due to the lsd, only to find mr plod in the immediate vicinity we just carried on down the high street acting like we'd had a "what the fuck happened there" moment waiting for a tug- they just crused past with hardly a glance!

[Albert Ross]

1984. Westward HO! Blue Super Minx. EFN 636C. I was in a car park chatting girls up outside a disco (remember them?) and a Police Allegro appears. Portly copper gets out and questions me about the big dent in the Nearside front wing. It was gained whilst dodging a Chevette (PYE 378R) that changed lanes without looking, and I "shoved it" into an Escort and a Mini. 1984/5ish. Apparently I had been seen crashing into a yellow Capri a few miles away... after a little conversation, it was revealed that the owner had seen a "Grey Humber Sceptre" leaving the scene. I told Plod that the Humber (LBL 179E) was at home with no engine in it.... in Slough!

 

1985ish. Citroen DS23 Pallas, FTV 326L heading out of Melton Mowbray towards Nottingham, approaching midnight. I was aware of headlights behind me as we got into a rural area, but I was less aware of the reason his blues came on.... I stopped of course. Turns out my offside rear wing had fallen off.... (Held on by the single bolt) The bolt was still tight in, just the hole had enlarged. We found it on the verge, battered but serviceable, and set about refitting it as best we could. He waved me away with a cheery smile, and to get out of Leicestershire before he could do me for no tax etc.

 

 1989.. Savernake Forest area. Land Rover WJB 886H. I had bought it and used it for a little while, and it needed welding. So I removed most of the body and drove it (with a cushion on the fuel tank) to the local farm for welding work. Coming to a junction, I crept forwards to see around me, and stood next to me was the local PC. His words were clear. "I know this is legal on paper, but you can't be seen driving it like this"  Once it was back together, I was in the local pub, and he popped in. He took my keys, as he wanted to pull some stumps with it that weekend. I had it returned full of fuel 2 days later, and a gentle word of "we'll say no more about it shall we?".. a good man.

 

1990 ish. Same Land Rover. I had gone to Hampshire to buy a 4 poster ramp at a garage auction. The ramp was a large Bradbury wheel free type, and heavy. To load it, I reversed the trailer underneath the bed, and lowered it onto the trailer, then unbolted the legs to lay them diagonally into the centre of the ramp, all strapped together. Well it was rather wide, so I opted to use the little lanes, as there was less chance of getting pulled up. Who should I meet as I was about 5 minutes from the Wiltshire border? Hampshire Traffic officers on a break. I was told in no uncertain terms to "get the fuck out of their patch with that fucking abortion"

 

 1992, 1951 Land Rover OUR 694. Central Nottingham. I had been off roading for a long weekend, and was dropping a mate off on Parliament Street. It was raining a lot, and this vehicle had no roof, but a roll cage instead. No doors either really. It looked like a Mad Max thing. It was dropping huge clumps of clay....I was stopped at the side of the road when a Traffic Car appeared, and the passenger window opened.. "Get you bloody seat belt on".... Erm... "It doesn't have any".... He got out and tried to "inspect it" in the rain, with mud falling off it. Once I explained the seat belt law to him, he was fine, but suggested I carry a sweeping brush with me.

 Etc....

[Noel Tidybeard]

'87 MG Maestro giving friend and her aunt, sister & mom a lift home from bingo- just pulling up by house and mr plod stops us and the wimmin start getting out

"we stopped you cos car looks a bit low at the back, but i think i can see why" he says as he watched them getting out- 2 were shall we say generously proportioned laydees lol

the other says "looks like your tax is out of date but i'm sure by the time we report it it will be in order"

damn i had to back date it about 3 feckin weeks

[Clanger]

Me and my cousin Bo were out running moonshine one time when we encountered the pesky local Sheriff and corrupt local business big wig - we were just good ol boys, never meaning no harm, makin our way the only way we know how, that's just a little bit more than the law will allow.

 

Well, to cut a long story short we ran and the sheriff chased us, we outran him though cos he was a proper cunt, along the way we drove through a barn or two and jumped over a crick.  Then we went home and shagged our cousin Daisy.  How we laughed!

[Station]

Well I thought it was interseting!

 

I'll get my coat

Looks like you've just been pulled by the autoshite police.

[Albert Ross]

1989/90ish. Same Land Rover as above. I was living in North Wales, I had been to a Dr.Feelgood concert at the Tivoli Gardens in Buckley. SWB LRs tend to carry 7 including the driver... I had 11 on board. Colin the cheese mechanic in the back, with 6 young ladies for company, (It was a truck cab with canvas, so the wee window was open) I had three lovelies in the cab with me. I dropped them off, and was invited to come in for free.... turns out the main bouncer knew my Boss.... Well, a good gig ensued, I was "dry" due to being designated.. One by one I dropped everyone off, and by the end of the journey, there was Colin in the front, and an extremely nice young redhead in between us. He was the next drop off, and we were at the edge of his village. We were about 100 yards from his house when a weak blue light glowed dimly behind me..... I had been pulled. Seems they had followed me as I dropped each girl off! Well they wondered how I had fitted so many passengers in. As they inspected the back. looking for who knows what, we chanced upon a full, unopened crate of lager that I had forgotten about!!!! .... well I was dry, and they knew it because they couldn't smell any on me. I looked at the older of the two officers, he looked at me... I just said "This is no good to me, do you want it?" Well his eyes and face opened wide. A proper grin. He took it back to the car gladly, and whenever I saw the Police after that, I got a cheery wave.  The young Redhead came home with me. 

[pshome]

Early 80's, winter time, B Kadett hand painted in proper flower power beautiness. 3 of us, miles out of town, 3 am. Constant giggling in the car and the sweet smell was quite obvious. Polizeiauto follows for quite some time, then stops us at a car park in the middle of nowhere. By the time they reach the car, all three of us were sitting in the back, evidence was already thrown overboard, engine still running as it was righfully suggested that it's cold and we should stay worm.

Officer 1 walks up to the drivers door, looks a bit confused, then opens the door: who was driving? No reply, more giggling. Officer 2 to each of us in turn: Did you drive? No, followed by a burst of laugh by the others.

Officer 1 : who has the papers? Reply: Its with the driver sir, and we all three collpase laughing.

Officer 2: Get out of the car! We crawl out from behind while officer 1 takes the keys from the ignition, locks the car, tells us we can pick up the keys next day at the police station and they drive off.

Was a bloody freezing night and we needed an hour to walk to the next village to call somebody have us pick up.

Looking back, i wish they would be like this nowadays, maybe sometimes they are.

 

P.S. keys were handed over the next day without further questions asked.

[Bear]

Have been pulled over 20 - 30 times! Never for speeding though.

 

The best was for hanging right out of the passenger window in my mates car and vomiting down the side while we were passing at a junction.

Oh, god, someone's kid did that from the back of Scorpio I was following.

 

Wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been the X1/9 with the roof off

[TimothyClaypole]

Many years ago now - Police on the M1 - Why were you doing 110mph?  I was only in 4th gear. - 3 month ban for that. 

[Clanger]

Here's another interesting story from my checkered past, but first a little more about me...

 

Ca' me a Clanger used to drive up a Lancia
And me a drive car from me a teenager
Police Officer me is a expert driver
So if you see me no shout and no holler
No stand up in the road with a torch and try pull me over
Ca' if it's a dark night by yourself you will get run over
No come behind me in a rover and start flash your flasher
Or come rev rev rev it beside me 'pon your scooter
Ca' me is a man who would a just faster
And when me feel like it me would a pull up on a corner
Before you ask any question me already have an answer
And any answer you get me wan' you know it would be formula
So...

 

Like I always say...

 

Police Officer no give me producer
Police Officer no bother give me producer
Police Officer no give me producer
Policer Officer no bother give me producer

 

So one night back in the eighties...

 

On me way a People's Club me pass through Victoria
And though me a entertainer say no tax 'pon me window
As me go through the lights the whole road take over
And as me drive nearer could see clearer it was a Black Maria
With six or seven plain clothes policer officers
Them didn't look the type of policer me could give a fiver
First thing that come into me head: Good thing me hide me ganja!
Next thing that happen them a wave, in other words pull me over
All me could a do is sigh and shrug me shoulder
And as them approach me start wind down me window
Me a go tell you how me answer...
Every question them fire...

"Well, what's your name then son?"
My name Clanger
"Yeah, Where do you think you're coming from lad?"
From seeing me mother
"What's the registration number of the car then?"
I can't remember
"What you got in the boot then son?"
A cassette recorder. Would you like to have a look?
"Shut your bloody mouth. We aks. You answer
Now take the keys out of the car and step out of the motor
Me and my colleagues have got a few questions to aks ya
You'll be on your way as soon as we get an answer.

 

As me come out of the car me a think and me a wonder
What police officers could want with Clanger
Ca' with them a search the interior
But whatever them look for me hiding place superior
But the way them a asearch me had to ask them what they a look for
But me try handle them coarse. Them just handle me coarser
Then one draw handcuff, Put him hand 'pon me shoulder
And say: "We aint got time to waste, We don't think you have neither
Just give us what we want - the real sensimania"

Me never had no choice me draw out me gania
As me do that start rub them hands together
One say: "Shall we put him in the van or in the back of the Rover?"
Me say: You can't do that ca' me name Clanger
"You what? Did you do that record Cockney Translator?"
In the reggae charts number one was it's number
"My kids love it and so does my mother!
Tell you what I'll do . A favour for a favour
Just sign your autograph on this piece of paper"
Me cut him short and just draw out me Parker
'Pon the producer me just sign Clanger
Then never lie. Them never bother... arrest me or take me ganja!*

 

*disclaimer I don't endorse driving without road tax, nor do I suggest hiding your ganja from the good men and women of the law - also, attempting to bribe and/or running police officers over is a bad thing, no matter how dark the night is...

 

Interstingly after my brief career as a semi succesful reggae DJ and pop star I took to investing in African Diamond mines, by which of course I mean importing cocaine. 

 

Let this be a lesson to you kids, reggae cross-over pop just doesn't pay

[rrsix]

My one and only encounter of being stopped was as a young lad and not actually due to anything I did wrong but definitely memorable.

 

 I had just left my house on my way to visit a friend for the weekend on one of three routes out of the village but the one which leads to the motorway. It was around 10:30pm and as I came round a blind corner there was a van parked blocking the full width of the road (a quiet leafy country lane) with two shadowy figures stood in front pointing torches in my direction.  Slightly worried at this point I was about to be parted from my car by the local bandits I was marginally relieved when the figures started to move and I was able to make out POLICE down the side of the van.

 

They both walked up to the drivers side and I could now see they were not only police officers but armed with what I assume was some sort of semi automatic machine gun. I lowered the window and the closest officer said "Good evening sir can you tell me where you've come from and where you are going please?" I'm not sure where it came from or why it was so considered but my response was "I live about a mile down the road my address is 123, Fake street, I am going to see a friend who lives at 123 High street. "  

 

It was at this point the second officer who had been waving his torch around checking out the car shouted something and backed away from the car, I didn't catch it  but seconds later I was examining the very fine detail on the barrel of the first officers gun.  With tension in his voice now "Sir can you tell me what is on the back seat?" The backseat was occupied by my very large holdall that was full as I was taking quite a few things with me, I squeeked "It's my bag with my stuff for the weekend." Luckily this was verified by officer two and then guns were lowered and my heart started beating again.   While it's an anti-climax, I got a "Thank you for your co-operation sir." the van was moved and I was allowed on my way.

 

I found out a few days later from the local milk man the reason for this show of force being someone had stabbed a different officer shortly before my encounter and escaped in to woodland nearby. 

[Junkman]

I got pulled over a lot.

We were usually four to six young lads in some kind of clapped out shoddy 70s yank barge with expired TÃœV and tax and smoke coming out of the windows and anarcho bumper stickers,

wondering why the damn fascist Gestapo always picks on us.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

The posts about stuff in the boot have reminded me of this tale.

 

1988 and my boss was on holiday, so I'd got nothing to do and more importantly no overtime.

One of the other chauffeurs,a guy called Phil asked if I could take his boss- the finance director, home after a function to give him an early night. This I did dropping the guy home and swapping cars to the pool car Phil had left there that morning. It was about 2 in the morning and the pool car was an old E28 528i manual. Obviously I wasn't hanging about on the cross country route from Aylesbuy to Milton Keynes, as I approached the bright lights and first roundabouts of MK I spy a Traffic Senator waiting in the middle of the road blue lights ablaze, the copper jumps out and stops me.

I asked politely what the problem was , he didn't know just told me to wait. After a few minutes anther Senator and plain Sirerra 4x4 scream up from the Aylesbury direction.........

The Aylesbury copper started going mental at me, ranting about dangerous driving,having to do 130 to catch me, failing to stop etc.

I explained I hadn't seen him and that I didn't think I'd broken any speed limits, they calmed down when I'd shown my licence and the car checked out,just wanted to have a quick look in the boot.

Did I mention Phil was a bit army barmy, bought and sold surplus stuff and was involved with Bletchley Park? A few years later his wife was killed when his tank rolled over, that sort of army barmy.

I'd heard something moving in the boot so feared the worse, the look on the coppers face when he saw the Browning ( I think) machine gun wrapped in an old blanket !

Luckily one of the other coppers had seen Phil' s Ferret Scout Car at Bletchley Park and accepted my story about it being deactivated and off that. In the end they gave me a bollocking and sent me on my way.

Next day I told Phil and he said it was in the car because he was going to drop it off to be deactivated, he'd bought it off some dodgy squaddie out of Bicester. I always checked any car he'd been using pretty closely after that.

[Matt]

he said it was in the car because he was going to drop it off to be deactivated,

 

I think you dodged a fucking massive bullet that day! Bah-dum-tss...

[martc]

I think you dodged a fucking massive bullet that day! Bah-dum-tss...

 

I'm here all week... etc etc

[Cavcraft]

Coming from a party in Neston on a KH125 with a straight through Micron, two up, stuck in third gear, bump starting it through traffic lights. Got pulled up, asked to step off the bike and as I did so four cans of (stolen from the party) lager fell out of my jacket. The copper just laughed his head off and sent me on my way.

[Albert Ross]

I just remembered another. Hillman Super Minx EFN 636C. Mevagissey-Truro, late one Autumn night in 1984. My mate Andy, a butcher, wanted to go see family in Truro, so I offered to take him. Somewhere in the lanes near Probus/Grampound, we cam upon a dead sheep in the middle of the tarmac. Well, it was blocking the lane. SO we did the gallant thing and moved it, cough... into my boot. Andy knew most of the local Farmers well. A little further down the road we were stopped by D&C Constabulary. Just a spot check. Normal questions and tyre kicking ensued. Then came the "Are you carrying anything in the boot?" ... well we looked at each other and laughed. I said "A dead sheep Officer". His response was "There better be a fucking sheep in there..." So I opened the locked boot and showed him the steaming carcass. He looked me in the eye and told me that it was a serious matter. Then Andy told him the story. We were let on our way. He had recognised the markings and knew the owner. Phew. We fucked off sharpish.