Cop Encounters - Any Interesting Stories?

[Matt]

Has anyone here had any interesting stories from encounters with the boys in blue whilst on the road? I've got a couple that I'll post later seeing as I've just realised it's half three in the ruddy morning.

[LabRat]

The only one I had was being pulled over for having no MOT, just as i drove out of the test centre!

 

Had to walk back into the test centre with the officer and get the mot tester to verify that he'd passed the car... Still got a bloody provider for it.

 

(Not that interesting, i know, but its 6 in the morning and my brain cant remember any of the others without bucket loads of caffeine)

[derskine]

I got pulled over in Glasgow last year because my car is green but comes back as red, I said I painted it a couple of weeks before and was still waiting for the v5.

Last weekend I got pulled over again for the same reason and used the same excuse though I should probably get the colour changed seeing as this encounter was local.

[cort1977]

Sad to say on the rare occasions when I get pulled over here in the US I am very careful and do the whole hands visible on the wheel thing, 'I'm going to reach in to the glovebox now'.

 

Shame really as they are always very pleasant but you never know.

[UmBongo]

Wankers: 3

Good guys: 1

 

That's my experience of coppers in a nutshell.

[Lukas]

I got pulled over two times since I got my driving license in February 2002.

 

The first time at night while driving home with my dad on the passenger seat. I had my license only a few days back then and the officier was very friendly. I wasnt drunk or too fast, I was friendly, everything was ok, so no problems.

The sesond time a cop pulled me over was in the first few weeks of my license-ownership, because the cop wanted to know who is driving my dads car. So he pulled me over and when he found out I was my dads son, he appologized and I drove off.

 

Since then, not one experience with a cop. Maybe because I am not street-racing at saturday night with a tuned Audi A4 with 4 girls in the back. 

[Taff]

Got pulled over in a 1959 PA Cresta and politely quizzed by the cop about what type of car it was (It had been shaved and mildly modified). I told him it was a Vauxhall and he grinned and said he had thought so but his mate (who was still sat in the car) had thought it was a Buick of some kind. He thanked me and made his way back to the patrol car and then mentioned that while he was unaware of the legality of my US-style rear number plate, he was fairly sure that it was a legal requirement to have a front one fitted.

[mercrocker]

Have not had a tug for several years now, have been breathalysed three times - twice on account of my driving (doorhandling a Renner 4 and gunning the 280E away from a Wimmin after a barney) and once cos a Flic saw me come out of a bar in Le Mans (280E again...)

When I was younger it happened all the time and most encounters were polite although some of our local coppers were truly arseholes.

Most memorable pull for the surreal content of the conversation was along the local bypass early one morning. Noddy up front in his HA van (that's all they gave plod round our way, back then) me following in the Renner 4. About four miles later on goes the lava lamp, Noddy brakes pretty hard and I am nearly up the back of him. This is a bypass, mind, not a hard shoulder or layby...

 

Always enjoyed a natter with the rozzers in the R4 cos they had to talk through half a window, anyway, it turns out he's pulled me for THINKING about overtaking. Well, it was still a good three years short of 1984 so I don't know what the hell he is on about. Turns out he has interpreted my use of all the road as a prelude to gunning my 36BHP loaded-up Renner past his 1256cc Beddy. Apparently I was appearing in both of his mirrors at once. He then lectured me on the speed limit (which I already well knew owing to past pulls) as well as the use of the solid white line but funny enough did not mention the lunacy of stopping on an A road. He also told me his speedo was not calibrated and that being alone he could not have collaborated my speed. If I did overtake, like...

 

I saw the HA again that night outside the youth club and took the liberty of removing the HA110 badge from the front wing as a kind of talisman. Allegedly.

[Christine]

On a blind bend ,deserted country lane , flat out , I crashed into a copper on a motorbike coming the other way, he fell off and took the knees out of  his trousers... I was in a 100cc kart , and he wasn't too happy .

[cms206]

I got done for speeding in the Montego; not proud of it, but I was over the speed limit and I should have known better. The two guys were actually brand new.

 

One asked me if I had any questions.

 

"Aye, how many Montegos have you stopped today?"

 

After he finished laughing he spent five minutes telling me about his first car, a Maestro diesel van which left him with hearing problems. Then his colleague piped up...

 

"See that?", pointing to a chunk missing from his left ear. "About 15 years ago I had just finished my first boy racer Nova and I was involved in a pileup on the M8 at Arkleston. That missing bit was claimed by the red Montego that ran up my arse, the front grille of which detached, came through the back window and left through the windscreen. Haven't seen one since until now, you're lucky I'm not booking you for post traumatic stress disorder."

[castros_bro]

Oh! I do like that song.

 

[Taff]

I'm ex squaddie, and was a tank mechanic while I was in. We had a modified tank to drive about and play soldiers in, with a crane fitted in place of a gun. Anyoone living in the Andover region witll have seen plenty of Warriors trundling up and down the A303 in the past.

One night, we were headed back too camp after a late job, it was gone midnight. We got off the A303 at the Tidworth turn off and headed towards camp. Not really thinking and not actually caning the Warrior too much but there was a jam sandwich sat there with his hair dryer pointed at me and they pulled us over. Turns out we were travelling at 36 in a 30 zone.

I've still got my copy of the ticket somewhere, it was pinned up on Squadron orders for a couple of years.

[oldcars]

Just the one. The Reliant broke down on the way home when i was collecting it. It was on a flyover and in at the side. Police came, wanted to check all my details. Boy was a clown, i was treated like a mass murderer/bank robber/very bad man. Luck for me i have all my insurance details on me, tax disk in my bag (i had nothing to attach it to then window) He was moaning about that and the fact i was not the registered keeper, well i had just bought it!

In the end i got out of his car and waited with the Reliant while he decided i was not a massive threat to the UK and let me be recovered and on my way.

[Andrew353w]

I was stopped in the Citroën last year by 2 officers, who thought the rear suspension was VERY low (considering the anxious looks on their faces when I opened the boot I reckon they thought I'd a couple of dead bodies in there!) They had no idea about the Citroën's strange hydro-pneumatic suspension, which I both explained and demonstrated to them. One of them then lay under the car & came out from under it saying there was nothing amiss & after identifying myself to them and being P.N.C.ed (not wanted) I went on my way....

 

But, as they had been worried I thought I'd check out the car anyway and ended up spending over £700 to have the radius arms replaced, a new exhaust box, handbrake cables and 2 new rear tyres fitted (they were worn down to the threads!) Good job the Rossers didn't see the tyres!

 

I was so grateful to the cops for making me take a good look at the car & fix what needed doing that I dropped the local nick a line to that effect and had a very complimentary letter from the local Inspector thanking me for my letter. One good turn deserves another!

[Taff]

another one from my uniform days, this time while I was in Germany. We had a fleet of RHD trucks (Leyland DAFs, seeing as how you asked) and would use them as general use stuff. One night, me and a mate are coming back from somewhere and it's late, been a long day. So I'm asleep in the passeneger seat and licking the window while I visit the land of nod.

Anyway, a few weeks later a speeding ticket come through, complete with a picture of me, plainly asleep and no sign of a steering wheel or anything. The Kraut speed cameras of the era were positioned in such a way that the driver was plainly visible but not the passenger. Our truck was RHD, so the camera got a handsome pic of yours truly dribbling down his combat jacket with just a hint of the drivers arm visible.

[DodgyBastard]

If you watch traffic cop type tv programmes they are always on the lookout for old bangers so pretty much anything pre 2000 that isn't mint. Just about everything I've owned gets unwanted police attention but they usually just follow me for a bit, put my details through the system then fuck off.

The last time I got stopped I was driving a Renault 18 with different coloured panels that didn't belong to me. I told them the truth* that it was my pals car, I'd borrowed it and was driving 3rd party through my own insurance. They didn't believe me but since I wasn't breaking any laws they let me go.

The reason they stopped me was to check my tyres... They only checked one of them. Anyone else feel discriminated against for driving shite cars?

[John F]

I've had loads of cop encounters, and tbh the plod have invariably been OK with me..

 

Here are a couple of the most memorable ones:

 

In the early 1990s I was just south of Leeds in a 1-2 chocolate brown Vauxhall Nova Saloon with my elderly parents in the back when I got pulled over by an unmarked police car .. Back then I was more used to riding bikes, so had forgotten to put my seat belt on. He had me bang to rights, with video footage & all, and I didn't argue. I got the usual small fine. But just as I was heading back to the Nova, the plod siad "Oh sir, one more thing - could you keep your speed below 90, please?" Top fella.

 

In the mid-90s I was working in Germany (living in Erlangen / working in Nürnberg), and got up late as usual. This meant a breakneck 30 km ride down the Autobahn on a Yamaha XS400 DOHC that I'd got on long-term loan from a lass I knew, followed by a bit of city riding on a dual carriageway Now I knew that if I set off from THIS set of traffic lights at absolutely top speed, I'd hit the NEXT set just as they were turning green (don't ask me how I knew, lol), and they did just that as I shot between the two cars waiting at them. One of those was also an unmarked police car.

 

They eventually managed to catch me at another set of lights, and wanted to see my pilot's licence. Not only that, but the bike's TÃœV had expired. I spent half an hour chatting to them back at the station, we got on pretty well & they were impressed that I spoke German - how long had I been living there? "Oh, about 18 months,", I replied. "ORLY", says they. "Your UK licence is only valid for a year." Bugger. But an utter bastard hitch hiker had stolen my passport when I was on my way down to Germany, and it took ages to get a new one issued via the British Consulate, so luckily I hadn't been able to register with the authorities when I arrived. After much research, das Plod discovered I'd been registered as living there for one year and ONE day.

 

"Hmmm... Shall we do him for the TÃœV?" says one of them to his colleague.

 

"Nah, don't bother, he's OK." says the other.

 

They gave me a stern warning not to ride the bike anymore before I'd applied for a local licence, and then gave me a lift to work

[seth]

I've probably told this before on here.... Late night, North circular I stop at a petrol station. In comes a traffic BMW that'd I'd overtaken a mile back, pulls up at the pump opposite. Copper starts chatting with me about my car as we're both filling up, then goes silent. I think nothing of it and go inside the shop to pay where there's a bit of a kerfuffle going on with the copper his colleague and the guy behind the till. Turns out he was probably paying too much attention to my car and had just put a tank full of petrol in his new Diesel Beemer.

[Taff]

 Now I knew that if I set off from THIS set of traffic lights at absolutely top speed, I'd hit the NEXT set just as they were turning green (don't ask me how I knew, lol),

 

the traffic lights in Muenster were phased so that if you maintained a steady 30kph, you hit a green light. This theory worked in multiples of 30, allegedly.

[Twiggy]

1971, driving a green Mk 3 Zodiac from Worsley to Todmorden. Coming out of Rawtenstall I was stopped. Very polite officer asked me to get out and open the boot... no problem, but he was disappointed to find it was full of sheepskin rugs, which he searched through thoroughly. He then looked through the rest of the car, but found nothing that interested him. I asked why he`d stopped me, and there had been a robbery in Manchester and the robbers were seen leaving the scene in a green Mk 3 Zodiac...  A few miles further on, driving up the hill out of Bacup up over Sharneyford I spot a police minivan approaching. Suddenly his headlights came on and he crossed on to my side of the road, which I took as a request to stop... they were looking for a green Mk 3 Zodiac seen leaving the scene of a crime...

 

1978........ driving a well knackered Commer van out of Hawick about 11 p..m. A police car was stopped in the middle of the road with its single blue light (remember them ?) flashing. Pulled up and the officer asked what I had in the back. It was packed with all my gear to stand a Sunday Market, stalls, covers and stock. He had a good root through, but it must have been obvious that whatever he was looking for wasn`t there. I asked why I`d been stopped... a Commer van had been reported suspected of being involved in a poaching operation and was thought to be full of salmon ! Twenty minutes later I was stopped in St. Boswells for the same reason.

 

1987... I was driving down the M6 twixt Carlisle and Penrith when I caught up with a police Range Rover. The weather was atrocious, pouring down with loads of spray, making visibility very poor. I noted that the police vehicle only had one rear light showing and that wasn`t very clean, so I flashed him and he pulled on to the hard shoulder. The observer came to my car and told me I was committing an offence by stopping on the hard shoulder ! I was a little taken aback by his attitude but politely asked him to check the rear of his vehicle. His attitude did change considerably, and he thanked me and advised that I took care in rejoining the motorway.

Not a lot really in 52 years and over a million miles of driving.

[beko1987]

I was trying to shag a girl a few years ago, and agreed to take her and 3 (fit) mates to Watford one night for £40, saving them £50 on a taxi ride.

 

Dropped them off, went home, went back and picked them up at about 3am. Get pulled coming out of watford, as apparently they 'don't see many cars full of people leaving at that time on a Monday night'.

 

Let me go when he saw 4 pissed up girls in the car!

 

I'm sure I've been plate checked in the Pums, came round a roundabout at 30, into a 50, did 50 around a few corners then hared onto the bypass (became aware of the car by this point) so went u pto and tuck to 59mph. He followed me closely for half a mile then overtook and went off. Pulled out behind him at 85 once he was a way up to overtake cars, then sailed past him to go onto the M40 when he slowed down for the roundabout.

[vulgalour]

Got shadowed by the plod the first night I owned the Princess, probably because it's not the sort of car you expect to see bumbling about in the early hours with two young people up front.

 

The only tug I ever got was in the Polo joining the street I lived on, policeman at the junction gestured for me to stop and was looking for something to have me on in my lowered Polo, I'm sure of it.  He settled on the P plate obscuring my forward vision, it being wedged in the lower corner of my windscreen.  Pretty weak thing and not really a problem as I was taking them off when I got home anyway.

 

I've never been pulled over but I have been shadowed by police cars a few times, normally when it's something elderly and a bit dishevelled.  You can see them in the car checking their dashboard and talking into their shoulder so you know they're doing the old number plate scan to check everything is kosher.

[scdan4]

Mid 90's, as a teenager in a rather ropey spitfire, croooozing dahn exmuff seafront with the xr2's and xr3i's. Its getting dark, so go to switch on the headlights. Except they don't.

 

Hmm, homes not far, I'll make it.

 

Proceeding gently in the dusk when the mobile disco lights up behind.

 

"Are you aware your lights aren't on?" "Yes, they've just expired, I was trying to make it home before it got too dark".

 

"Hmm. Does it have an MOT?"  "Yes"

 

"Is it yours?" "Yes, um, well technically it's dads" (was his name on the paperwork. Insurance fronting was somehow more acceptable back then)

 

"Rightoh. Is it insured and are you insured and allowed to be driving it?"  "O yes occifer"

 

"Who is it insured with?" "No idea i'm afraid"

 

"Do you have any ID on you?" "Nothing binding, but plenty of incidental cards and stuff"

 

"Hmmm. Ok - I'm going to give you a producer and the benefit of the doubt. I trust there is no reason why you will not be able to produce within 7 days?"  

 

<At this point I should have said yes and smiled. But I was young, nervous, wanted to 'do it right' and basically incredibly stupid>

 

"Ah, well, No I can't. Dads just gone on holiday, for a month, to a boat somewhere off the coast of thailand" (not actually as glamorous as it sounds, but completely uncontactable).

 

"Wait there". and he goes back to is car and wibbles into his radio for a bit.

 

"You're telling me you cannot get any documents for this car." "Um... 

"Your details don't match the registered address of the car" "Well, no - its dads house, I don't live....."

"You can't prove you are on an insurance policy for the car" "Not this mont....."

"The cars lights don't work" "Well, no - I thought i'd make it home before it was dark......"

"Home eh? The cars address is over 30 miles away... Your address is over 100 miles away (both true. Mine was stoodent address.) "Well, by home I actually meant my sisters............ (2 miles down the road)"

"And, given the circumstances, quite importantly, our computer says the car is blue" (It was resplendent in freshly resprayed Fiat Gallo Taxi yellow). "Ah. Um. Oh."

 

"Tell you what son - get in my car, we'll discuss this further at the station".

 

 

 

 

Took some sorting out that one did!

[barefoot]

One of many, but all a very long time ago now, there's just no rozzers left out on the roads.

 

Leaving a 30mph limit, came up behind a slow moving car and overtook it. (I'd seen the copper waiting to join the road at the cross hatched junction).

Off like the proverbial hare, in the 944. Saw the police car in my mirrors pull out behind me & give it the beans. Continued over a roundabout, copper gradually catching up with me. Slowed, turned right into the industrial units I was heading for. Rozzer in behind me, flash of the blues and we both got out.

He wanted to do me for entering a cross hatched area, I suggested that he check the Highway code - broken line surrounding them OK - solid line not OK.

Are you sure? says he. Absolutely. Well I'm going to do you for going faster than 60 mph - What? when I could see you following me? - You'd struggle to prove that.

OK I'm going to do you for your badly spaced number plate - B10 NFC - which reads - BIONIC

Does me a 'inspected' effort, I nipped into the unit - removed plates, velcroed on correct plates from boot - had the form stamped -replaced dodgy plates and on my way - I am bad.

[RichardK]

Has anyone here had any interesting stories from encounters with the boys in blue whilst on the road? I've got a couple that I'll post later seeing as I've just realised it's half three in the ruddy morning.

 

Three I can think of. Not that interesting, really...

 

The Big One. Driving down the M4 doing 'a healthy motorway speed', moved to lane 3 to pass two elephant racers when a Volvo estate joins the motorway, veers haphazardly into lane 3 in front of me but at 65mph, forcing me to slam on the brakes). Yellow-mustard 245 with suitcases on the roof, for detail. Anyway, I get proper red mist, even though I'm only in a 1.6 Marea, and flash the bastard to get the hell out of my way. Upon them doing so, I floor it to 125 in proper anger.

 

Between the two elephant racers, there's another Volvo estate. One with flashy lights on the roof. I see it in the mirror and very rapidly slow down to 70, but I'm pulled in.

 

107.4. Average. From me whizzing by at indicated 125 to "OH FUCK" in probably less than 1/2 mile. Bridgend Policeman has a nice chat with me about my attitude, gives me an NIP and charged with offence.

 

That's all fairly normal. I spent six months shitting myself about losing my licence. But then it turns out that when I did my NIP in the Borders, our local force lost the details.

 

3 times.

 

The third time, I went in and asked "Do you want my insurance now, or from when the offence was committed" - the sergeant said "Don't worry, we don't need it. South Wales asked if you were worth the bother. We said no."

 

If I ever become rich, that police benevolent fund will be well replenished!

 

Second one is really daft. A7 was one of my playground roads, and there are actually two stories for it but I'll wrap them together. First one was in my Supra (MA70 giffermatic, non-Turbo). I came out of Hawick and was following a maroon Astra that came out of Burnfoot. Now, Burnfoot was worse than Mos Eisley, and for some reason that Astra got my spider senses tingling. It disappeared down a backroad and I went back to enjoying the A7. Nice steady speed, when a little grey repmobile comes up and is doing the "sitting in the mirror" aggressive thing.

 

"Fuck you and your silly grey repmobile" says I, and belts off at three figures. It hangs on well, this is a bit of fun, when I see roadworks I slow, flick the hazards on - then resume belting it until Selkirk where I drop to 30 and the grey car goes around the back of Selkirk. Halfway through the town there's a Police Astra with blues & twos, so I pull up and let it go by.

 

Get to the end of Selkirk, and near the industrial estate bit there's the red Astra from Burnfoot (How?!), the white Police Astra, and the grey repmobile. The grey repmobile turns out to be a Mazda something with a little blue flashy light on the dashboard.

 

Get to Gala and my ex's dad has left a message - name misremembered... "John from CID said to say Hi, and to behave yourself."

 

Private plates and small communities. FFS.

 

Flipside of that is I came out of Selkirk one day with a silver Astra (again with the bloody Astras) tailgating me, 'cause I was doing 30. This time I just speed up to indicated 62 - my premonition kicked in and sure enough, in the layby was a marked car. It appears in the mirror, having passed the Astra. I gain on a 3-pot Corsa and weigh up passing it or slowing, given that there's a marked car in the back and I'm in an RX8.

 

Well, the marked car pulls me in anyway. I get out, and ask what's up.

 

"You were going to speed".

 

"I beg your pardon? I was GOING to speed? Can I have next week's lottery numbers too?"

 

"You were tailgating that Corsa"

 

"That Corsa is a three-pot 1.0 with barely enough power to move its own weight, let alone get up that hill. I was slowing to maintain a gap, but not slamming my brakes on given there was a police car in my mirrors"

 

"You were racing that Astra (which they'd also pulled in, but they'd stayed sitting in the car - I always get out when stopped)"

 

"The silver Astra that was tailgating me through Selkirk because I was doing 30? I have no clue who they are, but I know the A7 and I don't speed in towns, they seemed unhappy about that."

 

"Where're you from?"

 

"Hawick, but my car's registered to a lease firm in Leicester."

 

"Right, what's your name?"

 

I give it. The officer puts the book away, says "Sorry sir" and that's the end of it.

 

What. The. Fuck?!

 

Still, they were blatantly going for the young, not-local bloke in a fast car before they sussed I was local.

 

Also got pulled in Kelso because they 'saw a light under my car' and it was my CX with neons - they were just fascinated, no tickets or anything. Didn't even get told off for the incorrect-year black plates on it. Most of the local police had got tired of me at spot checks as I always had perfectly maintained cars and all documents on me, so they'd shine the torch in and wave me by - didn't help that one time I was stopped I left all the stuff on the roof of the car and they followed me to give it back!

[mercedade]

Been pulled 4 times - all of them unremarkable and not worth posting on a forum. So here goes:

 

1) Pulled when driving in a convoy of 4 miserable hatchbacks as a thick-headed 17 year trying to find gravel carparks to do J-turns and Pwoper Rally Dwiving an' that. PC very fairly asked if we were anything to do with reports of people using car parks like race tracks. I said no. Cops knew I was lying, probably because at 17 (and now, actually) I was a terrible liar and petrified of getting told off, but he just said "well, that's lucky then - make sure it never is" and gave me a really stern look. I didn't do it again. +1 to the police

 

2) Passed a Rangey travelling in the opposite direction when I was piloting my 4.0 XJ40 at Some Speed - I clocked him and slowed down (without braking - didn't want my brake lights to give me away, like some kind of Super Genius, he did a swift U-turn and caught me up eventually. We danced around the issue of my speed for a bit while he looked over the car "you were going some back there" and "took us a while to catch you up", but eventually just told me to be on my way. +2 to the rozzers.

 

3) Got pulled by traffic cops on the M6 who were always parked in the same spot for about 3 months (just after the viaduct section before Jn 21) when driving my Gallant, because it flagged on ANPR for no insurance. I pooed myself a little because I'm just a wuss like that. Anyway, car was completely legal, but MID was out of date because I'd only bought the car 4 days earlier. +3

 

4) Very similar circumstances to #2 - passed the cops travelling in the other direction when driving too fast. Again, cops very fair, nice guy and happy just to tell me to stop being a dick. Which, finally, seems to have worked.

 

All of them good jobs by the cops. Each time was warranted and each time I was very fairly treated - I'm glad they're there.

 

Cheers, Po'Po.

[xtriple]

I swear this is true....

 

Back in the early eighties, group of us on big bikes (Z650 was the smallest that day) going to Cadwell for the International bike race. We were travelling quite well(flat out was NOT NEARLY FAST ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!) and getting properly excited with ourselves.

 

Came screaming round a bend with a right turn just after so hard on the brakes, banging it down the box, lots of noise and right on the white line. There, sat at the turn, was a Police car with a PC flagging us down!

 

Bollox.

 

The very pretty lady PC came up to me and started on about speed, noise and mostly, road positioning. Cool as a cucumber, I said ' well, it does say on the bottom of your licence: Tear along dotted line!' and she let us off ';cos she was laughing so hard! :)

 

To be fair, there was always hundreds of coppers about on race day and most of the time they just looked away so long as you weren't doing anything tooooo silly!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Between the age of 17 and 19 I was stopped regularly,often deservedly. I was a motorbike courier and a mouthy gobshite that drove dodgy old Fords and Jags( insurance 'fronting' was ok in 1981!) and would sometimes stop before they had chance to pull me,they hate that.

One of my favourite things to do was ,when asked to nominate a station for the producer,to say Bow Street, as I worked practically next door the Police station there. Quite often ,especially in Wales they'd say ' that's not a real place,are you taking the piss?'

 

Is there a statute of limitations on failing to stop ? All I can say is that even a 2.8 manual XJ6 could probably outrun a Chevette Panda Car and a 350LC is quite a bit faster than a green 2.6 SD1, I'd have thought. Even if the LC had a pillion who got so turned on by the chase she later gave the stupid 18 year old a few lessons he can still remember ( although probably couldn't manage 34 years later).

[JohnK]

 

Some years back, my mate bought an XJ40 from a proper dodgy geezer in Doncaster. He had owned it for a couple of weeks and I borrowed it to ferry some mates to Manchester Airport. Here I am, happily trundling along the M62 when all of a sudden there's traffic cars everywhere and I'm boxed in. I was then faced with some rather intimidating guns that the armed police use.

 

Turns out the car had a marker on it from its days in Doncaster, related to firearms and other violent offences.

[mercrocker]

Remember getting pulled on the M27 once in the GSA. I thought I was just minding my own business, there was an Aldi 80 (brand new, on a B plate...) right up my arse - they were driven like that back then, too. I wound the Citroen up to about 90 and he still sat there. Bearing in mind I was in the inside lane I don't know what else he thought I could do. Checking the mirror again I happen to see a screaming police 5 series about eight cars back. I didn't want to brake with this chump up my arse so I just lifted off as much as I dared but of course the 5th gear and aerodynamics really didn't want the car to slow down. Too late the prick sees the rozzers and brakes like hell.

 

30 seconds later we are both on the hard shoulder. Cop 1 is by the driver's door of the Audi, Cop 2 tells me to stay where I am and takes Mrs Rocker off to the BM. Upshot was they were trying to nick us for racing and wanted Mrs R to cough up but luckily she was too cute for that and played it dumb. Then it was my turn for the back seat, fag lighter on the willy or whatever they intended to use to make me fess up.

 

I got a bollocking for my speed but not for racing and the gab informed me that Aldi Twat was being done for a "serious motoring offence". He was being led by both officers to the BM as I walked back to the GSA. I wanted to say "Don't Fuck with Citroens" but just thought it instead....