Cavcraft 2015: Vectra, because you're worthless.

[KruJoe]

Does it like veg?

[KruJoe]

Bugger, beaten to it!

[purplebargeken]

4, 12 and 42 please. 

[Cavcraft]

the judge, on 12 Nov 2015 - 11:19 PM, said:

Thats not too shabby that Billy. Nice one. What engine is in it?

 

 

1.0 pez, unsure if the same engine as the Corsa so I'd better stock up on oil pressure switches just in case.

[320touring]

Good on yer Billy! If it was something you fancied and you can afford it the top work.

 

ya works for ya money, ya gets it then ya makes your picks - aint nobody else can say wat you do with it!

[Pillock]

I'm pretty sure even I detected the sarcasm in the Vauxhall "Just like the original" advertising campaign.

Looks OK - if I'm honest I didn't look at it and go "Oh my god it's a Viva" because I'd forgotten they even exist, but I did twig that you'd been smearing your face on the VX dealers windows recently and thought it looked like a small Corsa. 

 

I know this is Autoshite, but I'll admit when my company car was delivered with 35 miles on the clock I was a happy bunny, my first ever new car. Enjoy it Billy!

[Cavcraft]

Thank you.

 

If I had have been able to afford it, I'd have had a Corsa Limited Edition, or better still one of them there new Astras. Typically, after I'd ordered it and left the deposit, a mate of my wife's said her fella works there so I could have got a discount, but it was too late by then!

[purplebargeken]

I like the look of it mate but by god I thought it was a Hyundai.

 

If it makes you happy then that is all that matters

[Hertz]

A brand new car, from Cavcraft?! Mind you it doesn't surprise me when he has made his first fortune through his four legged friend....

 

[stephen01]

looks well nice that,

 

49,21 though just in case

[daveb47]

Gonna be on the safe side with the roffle.

67,96 please.

[cms206]

I reckoned it would be an Adam when the time finally came. I reckon even I'd have an Adam.

[Ghosty]

made in South Korea. 

 

 

It's a Daewoo.

 

You've got a Matiz....

[hairnet]

I reckoned it would be an Adam when the time finally came. I reckon even I'd have an Adam.

very very all kinds of wrong haha

 

ps adam sez he disnae want ye

[Cavcraft]

Today's mission:
Short hop across town, view horrible car, jump start it, test drive, pay then return later.



It does that thing that every sodding Micra Ive driven does, the heat shield rattles. Goes well (as they do) and a Brucie Bonus is the passenger window winder is missing. Battery was flat because the radio was left on I think and was ok earlier.

CD in car was 'Now 90' I think (copied one, of course ) and the first song was Bruno sodding Mars, I can't get away from his bloody music as my missus plays it like an Atlantic 252 DJ on a double back hander from whichever bastard penned 'Birdhouse in your soul'

 

 

*Unseen in pictures: Hopeless attempts at 'localised' spraying of front bumper, which was possibly carried out by a vicious gang of drunken Knowsley Safari Park chimps.

[MarvinsMom]

they might be giants....

 

i had a friend who had a C90 cassette with NOTHING else on it bur birdhouse in you soul

[UltraWomble]

You mad bastard, I did seven years on the Micra shovel - Ive done my time.

[ruffgeezer]

The only micra shovelling I've done is to sweep up the remains of the sills of one I had a look at as a winter hack.

[Cavcraft]

You can come and un-shovel this one away for just £225 if you like.

[doobietoo]

ooooo a microbe

[Lord Sterling]

Grea cars these, I'll happily stand up for them. It is fairly easy to un-horrible these, but I have no money, even if I did I'd have bought that Beige Jag Volksy has for sale.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Don't knock Birdhouse in your Soul it helped pay for their manager' s collection of British shite.

Jamie Kitman is a sort of American Breadvan72, a lawyer who collects Lotuses and BL chord. He even drives a Dolomite Sprrint in New York.

He's also a car writer and They Might Be Giants manager.

[Cavcraft]

Having 'manager of They Might Be Giants' on your CV is a bit like having 'ten years in Walton' on your application to become a school bus driver.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Lying under a Micra with a welder...

..who watches over you?

[oldcars]

Today's mission:

Short hop across town, view horrible car, jump start it, test drive, pay then return later.

 

image.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpgimage.jpg

 

It does that thing that every sodding Micra Ive driven does, the heat shield rattles. Goes well (as they do) and a Brucie Bonus is the passenger window winder is missing. Battery was flat because the radio was left on I think and was ok earlier.

 

CD in car was 'Now 90' I think (copied one, of course ) and the first song was Bruno sodding Mars, I can't get away from his bloody music as my missus plays it like an Atlantic 252 DJ on a double back hander from whichever bastard penned 'Birdhouse in your soul'

 

 

*Unseen in pictures: Hopeless attempts at 'localised' spraying of front bumper, which was possibly carried out by a vicious gang of drunken Knowsley Safari Park chimps.

They might be giants i think, unlike the little Micra.

[oldcars]

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little K11 friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
You better not dent my bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I have a secret to tell
My electricals are a well
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
There is no rot in my crossmember
Filibuster vigilantly
My name is blue canary one note  spelled l-i-t-e
My story's infinite
Like the K11 Micra it doesn't rust

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
You better not dent my bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I'm your only friend
I'm not your only friend
But I'm a little K11 friend
But really I'm not actually your friend
But I am

There's a picture of a Corsa opposite me
Of my primitive ancestry
Which stood on cartakeback shores which kept the beaches wreck free
Though I respect that a lot
I'd be fired if that were my job, i would but them all and put them back on the road
After killing an Adam off and countless screaming Argonauts
Nissan Bluebird of friendliness
Like guardian angels its always near a taxi rank

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
You better not dent my bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

(and while you're at it
Keep the side lights on inside the
Birdhouse in your soul)

Not to put too fine a point on it
You better not make a dent in my bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

 

[The Moog]

I'm your only friend

I'm not your only friend

But I'm a little K11 friend

But really I'm not actually your friend

But I am

 

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch

Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Not to put too fine a point on it

You better not dent my bonnet

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

 

I have a secret to tell

My electricals are a well

It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells

There is no rot in my crossmember

Filibuster vigilantly

My name is blue canary one note spelled l-i-t-e

My story's infinite

Like the K11 Micra it doesn't rust

 

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch

Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Not to put too fine a point on it

You better not dent my bonnet

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

I'm your only friend

I'm not your only friend

But I'm a little K11 friend

But really I'm not actually your friend

But I am

 

There's a picture of a Corsa opposite me

Of my primitive ancestry

Which stood on cartakeback shores which kept the beaches wreck free

Though I respect that a lot

I'd be fired if that were my job, i would but them all and put them back on the road

After killing an Adam off and countless screaming Argonauts

Nissan Bluebird of friendliness

Like guardian angels its always near a taxi rank

 

Heater controls in the outlet by the light switch

Who watches over you, when they only work in setting 4

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Not to put too fine a point on it

You better not dent my bonnet

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

 

(and while you're at it

Keep the side lights on inside the

Birdhouse in your soul)

 

Not to put too fine a point on it

You better not make a dent in my bonnet

Make a little birdhouse in your soul

 

New Cavcraft company anthem

[Cavcraft]

Our anthem is a bit shorter than that:

 

Please save paper pictures of our gracious Queen!
Long live our noble Queen!
God save the dosh!
Send them victorious, 
 In fucking big piles to us,
Long to buy shit off us,
God save (paper pictures of )the Queen.

 

Sod thy choicest gifts in store
the cashpoint's by the Coop front door,
Long may it fucking rain.
May she defend our unique sales laws,
And ever give us cause,
to fuck your warranty

God save datestamps

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Everybody's talkin'

All these things about me

Why don't they let me live?

 

I don't need permission

To buy a fucking Nissan,

That's my prerogative!

[Station]

Not to put too fine a point on it.

Not to put a £255 price tag on it.

Say I'm the only Ripspeed Viper Stripe decal on it.