Nugget the Corsa - 17/11 Winter Prep

[Pillock]

 

 

  On 09/01/2015 at 21:28, saucedoctor said:

donuts at McDonalds.

That's Krispy Kreme you're thinking of.

[HillmanImp]

  On 09/01/2015 at 23:21, Pillock said:

That's Krispy Kreme you're thinking of.

 

A girl at work got excited today talking to me about food and said to me 'I love mayonnaise' making me shout 'YOU SAID LOVE MAYONNAISE'. That was enough innuendo for me today thank you Pillock.

[RobT]

  On 09/01/2015 at 23:06, MikeKnight said:

He called me earlier and said his ETA was around 11-ish, so should be any moment now.

 

He did tell me the brakes, or lack thereof, are terrifying. System full of air, knackered servo, wonky bias valve? We shall see.

 

He's been spoilt by Citroen brakes..!

 

But yes they are a bit shit so will need looking at.

[Split_Pin]

Tick-tock. Tick-tock! Tbh after that sort of long drive, in this weather in a wee car with poor brakes, I'd just want to get to my bed, rather than stay up longer to post up things on here!

[RobT]

He made it! Just got a text sating he's home. 260 miles in a shit 20 year old Vauxhall = WIN.

[vulgalour]

HOME!

 

Full report shortly, I only died a little bit.

[MikeKnight]

After seeing it myself it's a lovely little tidy thing.

 

Will have a better estimation of the work that's required on it when I see it in daylight, where I will then recoil in horror and hang myself consider fettling options.

[vulgalour]

Right, so to put you all at ease, I'm going to tell you the story of today's adventure to collect a car that I've never really rated since miserable experiences piloting them as a teenager.  We all know Vauxhalls are shit... or are they.

 

 

Day started at a respectable hour at home.

 

 

Mike drove me to the rather nice looking Darlington station

 

Then promptly abandoned me once he'd given me the sat nav.  Typically the courier he was expecting today chose the half hour he was taking me to the station to attempt delivery.

 

The train journey was utterly uneventful.  I finished reading a book in the time it took to get from Darlington to Kings Cross.  I then wandered around the station muttering how much I hate the lack of info at the London train stations until I found a member of staff to point me in the right direction of the tube to Victoria and another to point me in the direction of Beckenham Junction train.  Easy peasy as it happens.

 

Arrived at Beckenham Junction and just as RobT was pulling up in his lovely dark blue Rover 75 - he could not be persuaded to let me take that home instead of the Corsa, even though it matched my waistcoat - a Mk2 Vauxhall Cavalier in silver with a bashed in door and those nice square-hole wheel trims pulled away from the lights behind him.  I utterly failed to get a picture.

 

Rob drove me to the Corsa's hiding place and we spotted a Mk3 Ford Escort box van - again no picture - and demonstrated the lovely noise a V6 Rover 75 makes.  He still couldn't be convinced to swap for the Corsa.  Can't say I blame him really.

 

So, arrived at the little garage and saw the Corsa.  Absolutely no need to haggle, it was easily a £250 car up here as it stands without me doing a thing to it.  It was a little reluctant to start but did so on the first turn, accompanied with some belt whine.  A very cursory look and I was happy enough, noticed it had a sunroof which was a surprise as I didn't think it had one and we headed to Rob's to do the paperwork.  That was easy too.

[vulgalour]

I would have liked to spending more time romanticising Limeflower vinyl interiors and Applejack Mk1 Metros with Rob but I was on a really tight deadline.  I had an estimated 4.5-5 hour journey to make from a part of London I didn't know, with a sat nav I couldn't operate and no map book because I'd left that at home.

 

We stopped for fuel, I'd budgeted £40 for the trip back so was a bit surprised when I couldn't get more than £42 in the tank.  It's been a long time since I had a small car.  Obligatory petrol station shot.

 

Right... find the cigarette lighter and plug in the sat nav because the battery is low.  Now... where is it hidden?  Ah, there we go, behind that little blank button.  Wait, there's nothing behind the blank button.  Oh yeah, that's right, not an option on this model.  Happily also noticed the bonnet wasn't properly shut at the petrol station so Rob sorted that while I paid for fuel before hopping back into the Rover - he still wasn't convinced by the swap notion, I dunno, some people - so we could plug in the sat nav and get it to wake up and get me the hell out of Dodge London.

 

By now I'd got used to not having a brand spanking new clutch and the non-existant brakes.  Or rather, the brakes that were effective only at the very bottom of the pedal.  I might be too used to Citroen brakes but I'm more inclined to thing there's only a thin layer of hope on the braking system.  They worked well enough on the motorway, just required a bit more forward planning.

 

So anyway, eventually I was on my way.  I got lost when a left directed by the sat nav was the wrong left, nearly collected a courier twice when he decided my indicator was to inform him to overtake me.  I also cocked up joining the M11 and someone in a silver Focus tried to keep me out of the lane I wanted.  I drove at them and they moved, fuck you London driver, I'm on high-anxiety in a turquoise Corsa and I want to get home!

 

Once on the motorway it was pretty boring.  The car wound up to 70mph eventually, fifth gear kept the revs low but there was a lot of noise from the broken door mirror casing and the wind in general.  Roads were pretty quiet and the Corsa surprisingly not terrible.  The ride was better than I was expecting, gearbox not too bad at all and the engine quite willing.  I didn't use the blower fan, if I selected speed 4 I lost a lot of revs.  Wipers and headlights were fine.  Radio drained power too so that stayed off the whole journey back, no great loss though as the radio was shit.

 

Trundle trundle trundle for 123 miles when I made my first stop for a wee.  Dodgiest service station loos ever, I was sure it was the sort of place I'd end up getting propositioned, knifed or both... but I had an uneventful wee.  Quick call to Mike to let him know the score, Corsa patiently waiting for me to get underway without complaint and off we trekked again, the roads getting windier and less packed with traffic.  That's when the driving started getting difficult.

[vulgalour]

So the second leg of the journey and the sat nav battery packed in.  I had no map.  I couldn't remember exactly how wrong the dash clock was but knew roughly how many miles to go and roughly how many miles a minute I was doing.  I didn't know how to reset the dash clock to be correct so just put my foot down and went for it.

 

This was a great idea.  Rattling along at 65-70mph wasn't a problem until the roads got more exposed and suddenly it was quite a bit of a fight.  I wish I had a dash cam so I could have shown you the K10 Micra that came screaming past me wobbling like it was going to fall over while I was struggling to stay in lane at 55-60mph.

 

I wasn't the only one fighting the weather.  It was absolutely knackering and while the Corsa felt pretty well planted, sometimes the headwind was strong enough to slow me down, at one point it lifted the wipers off the windscreen.  I was getting blown across into the next lane, and getting scarily close to the armco at some points when overtaking.

 

I had to quell my usual caution and go for it.  I've never driven in weather so bad, bits of tree, sheets of polythene, various clouds of detritus all billowing around on the motorway and me having to keep my speed at above 65mph as much as possible to get home before the insurance expired.  Character building stuff!

 

The Corsa lapped it all up.  It was only as I was getting to my exit from the A1 to the A19 I encountered a serious problem.  An HGV had been blown over in lane two and pushed all the way into lane three.  With no sat nav, no map and very little sense of where I was I followed the upright HGVs until they got me back to the A19 I needed so I could get myself home.

 

With 10 minutes to spare I pulled up outside the gates to the unit and called Mike.  I was now off the road, the mission was a success!  I felt like the Corsa could easily do another 300 miles if I wanted it to and I was incredibly impressed with it.

 

 

Oh yeah, the binnacle lights are useless.  Most of the time I couldn't see the instruments so it was guess work, this could be related to the electricity issues which I'll investigate.

 

I used about half a tank of fuel.  That's £20 to get from Beckenham to Thornaby in practically one go, a distance of 263 miles.

 

I'm suitably impressed by this car.  I take back some of the horrible things I've said about Corsas over the years.  They're still rough as anything, but they're so practical and competent and capable they're like a little automotive donkey and they have my admiration.

 

This little Corsa made such an impression on me I christened it Nugget on the way home.  I have no idea why, but now it shall be known as Nugget.

[trigger]

What a great little story, we had one a number of years back and to be fair it was a nice little car. I wouldn't fancy driving it in a strong wind though so well done on that!.

[vulgalour]

I'm glad I've done it this once but I don't know that I'd want to do it again.

[Cavcraft]

Class! Next up, try a 1.0 with a bike rack with two cycles on it coming back from Manchester on the M56 against the wind.

 

 

I'm going to start an Autoshite 2016 January calendar thread soon. If I can't be arsed putting the petrol station shot of your Corsa with the words 'various clouds of detritus all billowing around on the motorway' underneath it, then you'd better get your sorry arse onto the case forthwith!

[Timewaster]

I still think corsa b's are a fraud.

 

All that funky 90's styling, cheeky curves and happy face make it look like it is going to be fun.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Really not. Disappointment myst be X20 for a Tigra.

[dollywobbler]

Fabulous. Glad you made it. Wind is not fun. Remember travelling during storms back in 2007 when trees and trucks were blowing over all over the place. Terrifying.

[Twiggy]

Excellent !  Glad it all went well...

[Split_Pin]

Great stuff Vulg, I've had mine 5 years now nd its even lower spec but I get aling great with it. Re the instruments, I bet you'be kicked the rheostat under the headlight switch getting in the car and dimmed the dash lights. I'm always doing that!

[Split_Pin]

Just remmbered I also have a 1/43 Gama Corsa 5dr model identical to yours with the funky trims.

[Tetleysmooth]

Talking about wind and driving....I took an empty double-deck trailer (16ft 2ins) over the Orwell Bridge near Ipswich last night, after delivering to our Martlesham store. Talk about your arsehole biting lumps out of the seat!!!!

The journey there was ok though, it weighed almost 43 tonnes all up.

Got blown from lane to lane on the way back to Thurrock. Very bloody scary, glad there was nothing in the lane next to me.

Hope I don't get another decker tonight.

[vulgalour]

I don't envy you driving anything lorry shaped at the moment, it's pretty horrible out there.

[RobT]

So Nugget did over 50mpg, and in those conditions, impressive stuff.

 

That's probably me who knocked the dimmer switch for the dash lights, I wasn't aware these had one.

[vulgalour]

Did the maths and, if I've got it right, Nugget did between 55 and 59 mpg.  That's astonishing!  That's actually more economical than the Xantia.

[Shep Shepherd]

Glad you and the car made it back in one piece

[twosmoke300]

Those removal artics with the huge bodies and likkle wheels must be scary in the wind

[twosmoke300]

Or someone has adjusted the handbrake cable up cos they are too lazy to adjust the rear brakes properly . The auto adjusters then don't work

[vulgalour]

Printed off the MoT history from 2006 (as far back as it will go) onwards.  It had a pair of brake cables listed as an MoT fail in May 2014 so I assume they've been replaced for it to pass and that could explain why sometimes the handbrake is unwilling to fully release.

[twosmoke300]

Ahh. Slacken cables , remove drums , adjust shoes ( take wear ridge if reqd) refit and only adjust cables to take the slack out of them.

[twosmoke300]

Simples as long as there isn't a 5mm wear ridge on the drums. Worth greasing the cables where they run through the plastic slider on the rear axle too. Watch for loose strands stabbing your fingers tho

[vulgalour]

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Didn't know you lived in Darlington Mr Lour?

 

I lived there between 1991 and 1993 on Vane Terrace in The Arts Centre flats (now closed) and know Darlow well. I worked at Skippers the Ford dealership (now flattened) when the first Mondeos came through. There was a Lada dealership and the big Ford place on the roundabout was Reg Vardy Austin Rover.

 

There were some superb bomb site secondhand car dealers up Whessoe road such as 'Big Mikes'.

 

Apart from that it's changed very little.