Loosing the will to sell a car.

[hauserplenty]

Set fire to it.

Then text them SUM1 NIKT D GEARBOX M8 I DOUBT UD WANT IT N E ROAD KOLEKT UR SHEET 2NITE OR SOLD AS IS WHERE IS.

DONT MISS THIS HOT DEAL YO.

 

I concur with the majority opinion. GLWTS.

[cort16]

It'll be fine no nuns or kittens will die.

[sierraman]

A couple of questions I have prior to purchase...

 

Can you give to me the figure expressed in Lumens the output of the interior lamps?

 

I would be willing to consider this car providing it emits no more than 13db when driven in reverse over rough ground with an easterly wind.

 

Finally would you be willing to consider meeting me in Dusseldorf for a 250 mile road test by the ADAC?

 

I would also expect a full tank of fuel and a signed affidavit that you are liable for any faults whatsoever during the coming 150,000 miles or 10 years whichever comes first.

[chaseracer]

^ Sounds perfectly reasonable*... 

[dugong]

Have you told them to GFAM yet?

[a60rod]

There's wasters on here too.

Unfortunately.

Came to look at mopeds. 

Cocked about.

Said he'd let me know that pm? Eh? You've driven an hour and they're £250. Hardly a capital investment! Cost you £40 in juice to go home, come back and then go home again!

Said didn;t have right car to get them home. So I says OK I'l drop the bars, go in your motor no issue.

Next problem?

Hasn't actually got the money to buy them..........so I fucked about night before getting all the new bits together for your day out???

Hear nothing that pm

Text him

Allegedly someone's Dad knocked down a wall so he needs the moeny he doesn't have to maybe pay for that.

Heard fook all since.

The dogs probably eaten the money or the car was put in the washing machine by accident or something. Maybe.

Joy.

[Bren]

Vince - do us all a favour

 

Set up various cameras that capture the transaction in all its glory - it may turn out to be a pleasurable transaction, then again it may turn out to be a car crash of epic proportions - various webcams and mobile phones will do the job.

 

Not only will it be evidence if it all goes pete tong and they threaten to "sue your ass",we can have a "how to" on how to deal with mouthbreathers.

 

Having said that i've just sold one of my vivariums on mongtree so anything is possible.

[Cavcraft]

It's a shame you're miles away, I'd have happily come over and concluded the deal for you.

 

I've always wondered what it'd be like to see someone shuffling off with a hundred quid up their council.

[PiperCub]

There's wasters on here too.

Unfortunately.

Came to look at mopeds. 

Cocked about.

Said he'd let me know that pm? Eh? You've driven an hour and they're £250. Hardly a capital investment! Cost you £40 in juice to go home, come back and then go home again!

Said didn;t have right car to get them home. So I says OK I'l drop the bars, go in your motor no issue.

Next problem?

Hasn't actually got the money to buy them..........so I fucked about night before getting all the new bits together for your day out???

Hear nothing that pm

Text him

Allegedly someone's Dad knocked down a wall so he needs the moeny he doesn't have to maybe pay for that.

Heard fook all since.

The dogs probably eaten the money or the car was put in the washing machine by accident or something. Maybe.

Joy.

 

When he was a kid he probably left his PE kit on the bus and the dog ate his homework too.

 

As an American friend of mine once said, 'If he was as tall as he is stupid, he'd have to sleep in a bowling alley'

[andy18s]

What u need to do is use the "I've got someone else interested who will pick up asap" then have a friend standing around the corner with 500 notes in his hand

If she gets shirty again then have him appear,2 min inspection then shove the cash in your hand and drive off in it.....

Assuming she turns up at all

[Bren]

What u need to do is use the "I've got someone else interested who will pick up asap" then have a friend standing around the corner with 500 notes in his hand

If she gets shirty again then have him appear,2 min inspection then shove the cash in your hand and drive off in it.....

Assuming she turns up at all

I have done similar - had wife ringing the housephone - I say to viewer - "look mate phone is constantly ringing etc.."

[Alexg]

Are you still in contact with them? As in have you spoken since they put down the deposit? What you don't want to do is let these people feel that £100 deposit has given them licence to dick about. I'd be ringing them up today on a withheld number, not texting, to confirm collection tomorrow and the time they're arriving. Express the importance of keeping to the arrangement, after all you're a busy guy and you don't need to be messed around. No need to be rude of course, but just make sure they know you're in charge. As said before, if there's a hint of a problem then offer their deposit back, that'll sort things out one way or the other.

[New POD]

The rules I use when selling a used car.

 

1) Before I tell you my address give me your phone number just in case I sell it before you arrive. ( I will call you if you fail to turn up at the time you stated and ask you where the fuck you are - I will also phone you if I sell it before you arrive to save you a trip)

2) I will take a Deposit of £50, to cover re-advertising it. After 7 days the deposit is not refundable.

3) There is no warranty, the car is sold as seen, and I wrote that on the receipt for the deposit.

4) I only deal in Cash. My wife will check every note, and then it goes into my in laws wall safe.

5) Most important. First come first served.

6) If you haggle on the price, you need a legitimate reason, for every £1 I might knock off.

7) The advert includes all the good and the bad. I told you that the bootlid was rusty, hence the price.

[Vince70]

I did text the bloke yesterday and he has arranged for tomorrow at around lunchtime and if he does dick me about and doesn't turn up tomorrow its going to be a case of me phoning up and I will ask for his bank details and transfer the money back into his account as I really don't want a 3 hour drive there and back for a load of pain.

 

Also I told via text that I will be going away for Christmas so I can only do Tuesday so that way I've got the upper hand and if he plays me about its no car for him.

[dugong]

I admire your faith in your fellow man.

 

My response would have been rather less kind.

[eddyramrod]

Also I told via text that I will be going away for Christmas

Thus ensuring he and his mate will be round on Christmas morning, expecting to clear out your household electronics undisturbed.  I hope you have a Dobermann!

 

You have rather a lot more faith in other people than I do!

[Vince70]

I made sure I gave him the reference number on the log book for taxing the car as the car is on sorn at the moment and I've just done a check and it's still coming up as Sorn ..

 

Does anyone know if the DVLA computer updates within a day as I won't let him drive it away as I can see this tight bugger using the car and not taxing it and me getting the hassle from the DVLA.

[Vince70]

Thus ensuring he and his mate will be round on Christmas morning, expecting to clear out your household electronics undisturbed. I hope you have a Dobermann!

 

You have rather a lot more faith in other people than I do!

Well I don't have a Doberman but I have an old German Sheperd cross who farts a lot lol

And he would never make a guard dog..

[EssDeeWon]

I made sure I gave him the reference number on the log book for taxing the car as the car is on sorn at the moment and I've just done a check and it's still coming up as Sorn ..

 

Does anyone know if the DVLA computer updates within a day as I won't let him drive it away as I can see this tight bugger using the car and not taxing it and me getting the hassle from the DVLA.

 

Can take a day or two to update, but it should show as taxed tomorrow morning if he has already taxed it by today.

 

Or, ask to see some confirmation it has been taxed like an email from DVLA, which comes through within seconds of taxing a car (most people have email on their phones nowadays) even I do and mine is shite.

[dave21478]

I made sure I gave him the reference number on the log book for taxing the car as the car is on sorn at the moment and I've just done a check and it's still coming up as Sorn ..

 

Does anyone know if the DVLA computer updates within a day as I won't let him drive it away as I can see this tight bugger using the car and not taxing it and me getting the hassle from the DVLA.

 

 

Thats not your problem. Make sure the V5 is dated properly when you sign it over and that the receipt has date and time of sale too and anything that happens after that time is his problem.

[Cavcraft]

If you were really uncharitable you could follow them from a distance then report them for dangerous driving. Just saying, like.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Exactly, just make a decent reciept with his name and address on, signed by him, and the date, then if he drives past a load of speed cameras or watever you have a document absolving yourself of any responsibility.

[chaseracer]

I'll be glad* when tomorrow comes and they don't.  The suspense is killing me.

[purplebargeken]

50p says they turn up but whinge so much that local nuns and kittens rip them to pieces. Oh yes, date and TIME on both receipts is a must, oh yes indeed.

[dollywobbler]

Very good call about having date AND time on the receipt. And don't forget that you send the V5 off, not them. Hope all works out. We can't always sell to the nicest folk in the world and even twunts can occasionally come good. I hope they do in your case.

[Cavcraft]

...and don't forget the minute they leave to cancel your insurance. One of the flip sides of ANPR is that cars still show as insured when sold as it takes a while to get off the database, and I get quite a few people asking to leave it on because 'I am insured but I'm waiting for the paperwork'. Which means they're not, and if they have a crash or get chased off the coppers they'll dump it and fuck off.

 

That also leads to something else I do when buyers seem dodgy: write a receipt out stating 'I have purchased the car (make/model/reg no) on this date and time and I am now legally responsible for it, including driving it away in manor complaint with road traffic laws.' and get them to name and sign it and put their address on it. 

 

I know that sounds really poncey, but if they do ditch it or something you have something to show the rozzers.

[Alan_Green]

• You know how people do "live collection threads"?  Could you do one on this please?  Lots of photos. Maybe stream the whole thing live?  Personally I am taking the day off.

[dollywobbler]

Ah yes. Good point about insurance. There was some chap sold a motorbike to someone, who killed themselves on it and caused a fair bit of damage. The seller's insurance took the hit, because he hadn't cancelled the cover. I'm much more careful about that now as I have a nasty habit of forgetting to cancel insurance after I've sold a car. 

 

Here's a link to the story. Well done Law - you certainly are an ass. 

http://britishbikersassociation.org/blog/entry/scots-biker-in-insurance-hell-after-legal-loophole-forces-him-to-pay-thousands-for-death-crash-on-his-old-bike

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Does anyone know what happened with that biker story?? It sounds 100 miles beyond 'alarming' and right out into 'completely absurd' territory. I'm inclined to believe its bollox.

[fairkens]

That's a shit outcome but the MIB won't pay out if there's a policy that can be claimed on so this bloke gets shafted. Hard cases make bad law and all that