German online car magazine slags German car design

[Junkman]

I tried to translate their captions as close as possible.

 

The headline:

 

Cringeworthy -  These are the most embarrassing German cars

 

Some cars have the average consumer wonder, what the manufacturer was thinking during the development. Here we show the most embarrassing cars of recent German automotive history.

 

 

This includes the chubby Audi A2 - a prime example of how a car should not look.

 

 

The Opel Agila doesn't look particularly agile. Specifically the caved in rear end makes you want to look the other way.

 

 

The two-tone paintwork of the Maybach is unnecessary as a goiter. apart from that the big barge looks like an S-class for show-offs with no sense of style or taste.

 

 

Off-road look is in vogue, but the off road capability the VW Up suggests is just embarrassing.

 

 

A beautiful backside can be a delight - but the hatchback of the BMW 3 Series compact is anything but aesthetically pleasing.

 

 

 

Granted, the Smart Roadster is a real fun car. The design, however, went completely wrong.

 

 

What a letdown: The New Beetle almost tarnishes the cult of the original Beetle.

 

 

The first Mercedes A-Class - one wonders why this car has ever sold quite well. Meanwhile, the compact car has become a real feast for the eyes.

 

 

No eye candy: the coupé-like roofline of the BMW X6 looks completely out of place on this behemoth on wheels.

 

 

The Brits are not amused, neither are we: The Clubman, Germanised and bloated by BMW, does not bear any resemblance to the English original.

 

 

From the front to the middle, the design of the Mercedes R-Class is no cause for criticism. From the C-pillars back, however, it's downright unpleasant, to say the least.

 

 

The VW Lupo with its bulging eyes is not a nice car to begin with, but the police version takes the biscuit.

 

 

The Mercedes Vaneo looks like a too tall A-Class. After less than four years the design experiment was thankfully concluded.

 

 

One-liter car or not - the styling of the VW XL1 is a complete failure.

[Station]

I think half of those are quite nice and tidy. I think current BMWs have lost the plot, but Audi had kept it together over the decades.

Modern cars have to appeal to a Chinese market, which explains their ornamental, chintzy design - almost like cheap jewelry. Even Germany, which was once hardcore 'German'!

[catsinthewelder]

They certainly have a point with most of them.  The smart and A2 still look fresh now though which must show an aspect of good design and the mk2 Agila is a lot less visually challenged than the mk1.

 

Of the mini's I'd find the clubman the least offensive if they had done the suicide door on both sides,  it's just insulting having a supposidly British car which is blatently designed for LHD.

[Wilko220]

Makes a refreshing change from the British press / BBC / etc slagging British motoring heritage all the time.

[rml2345]

I always thought the Lupo was quite cute and the A2 does still look quite fresh. The Maybach always looked crap, it's far too easy to see the S-class that it's based on in the design so the fact that they sold any at all is quite remarkable.

The X6 is also quite horrorsome. None of the rest bother me that much. 

[Des]

That author wants to have relocated somewhere South Americaish pretty swiftly, or there's a nasty Luger encounter coming.

[TagoraSX]

I strongly disagree with inclusion of the A2 on that list, innovative when new and still looks sharp today.

[robinmasters]

It's probably just the result of the captions being translated from the German, but they do sound a bit like Jurgen.

 

"I feel I must apologise for my country's conduct during the war"

 

[Spiny Norman]

Wouldn't disagree with any of that, German cars are by and large, munters and have been for a good 10 years. The CLS Merc (& the VW Pisshat clone) and current Audi A5 are OK, as is the 911 obviously but the rest of BMW/Mercedes & Audi's output recently has been hideous IMO.

[Felly Magic]

VAG just use photocopiers to design their cars, and Jesus wept, Skodas look tediously dull, and the Yeti is just a mess, and only blind old giffers seem to have bought roomsters

[Partridge]

A quite like the styling of the A2 and the Lupo. The rest are cack.

[oman5]

I've no opinion, I don't even notice most of these on the road. 

[Des]

EFA.

VAG just use drunken fat birds sat on photocopiers to design their cars

[eddyramrod]

Des, I think you owe drunken fat birds, even German ones, a grovelling apology there.  I can't believe even they would perpetrate the rubbish flung at us these days.

[D-Dubya]

And look what happens when 1980s Germans and 1980s Italians think what the future will be like.

Gentlemen.... The Audi Aztec

[eddyramrod]

Sadly, they did at least get the paint right.

[M'coli]

The A2 looked good enough for BMW to rip it off for the i3:

[Junkman]

I can't see any similarities?

[brickwall]

I agree with the thrust of the article. Beemers and Mercs used to be bold in looks and class. VW used to have interesting, if not peculiar, cars along with some sexy zippy cars.

 

 

The Mini has become a misnomer and a complicated mess

[Justin Case]

Audi A2:

 

Looks as if it was designed by an architect with taste and not by a schoolboy without - check

Doesn't have unneccessary swage lines spoiling the side view of the car - check

Windows you can see out of - check

Lights that look as if they were designed for the car and not stolen from a fairground ride - check

Wheels in proportion to car - check

Tyres in proportion to wheels - check

 

I think I'll get the exciting new model Mercedes C Class instead, completely unspoiled by good taste.

[Junkman]

Which would you rather own, if they'd cost the same?

 

 

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[dollywobbler]

Audi A2:

 

Looks as if it was designed by an architect with taste and not by a schoolboy without - check

Doesn't have unneccessary swage lines spoiling the side view of the car - check

Windows you can see out of - check h

Lights that look as if they were designed for the car and not stolen from a fairground ride - check

Wheels in proportion to car - check

Tyres in proportion to wheels - check

 

I think I'll get the exciting new model Mercedes C Class instead, completely unspoiled by good taste.

 

I'd take issue with 'windows you can see out of.' The rear window is a stupid, split design with no wiper. It offers the sort of visibility that you get after being punched very hard in the eyes.

 

The Smart Roadster is a great looking thing though. Shame the driving experience didn't match the looks.

[wuvvum]

The problem I have with the A2 is that it was (afaik) the first car that was deliberately designed to prevent its owner gaining access to the engine.  It was therefore a pioneer of the modern attitude to car repairs.  For that reason alone, as Setright might have said, the thing is reprehensible.

[Lord Sterling]

German online car magazine slags German car design

Good. Lets hope this is the start of real, clear minded fair criticism of all car makers putting an end to this tired blind follow-the-sheep gushing over so-called "premium" cars just because they come from a certain country.

[Hendry]

I'm going to be honest here, I like the look of most modern German cars with the exception of the following: 1 series BMW (ugly to begin with, just got worse) new Beetle, Upexclamationmark, Audi A1, Audi A7, Binis (all versions),

 

The new A-class Merc is a nice looking car IMO, far better than the old one, the Golf may be dull and bland but its not a bad looking/ugly car, Audi A5s are cracking looking IMO, I could go on, but the point is they are not any uglier/worse looking than anything from any other manufacturers from any other country, they are not any worse cars in any way really in terms of reliability, specification/equipment, how good they are to drive etc. the problem with them and thus the reason I don't like them is how overpriced they are, the apparent "premium" the badge supposedly has, the majority of wanky/snobby/smug/arrogant owners who think they are better than everyone and that their car is the best thing since sliced bread, and the OMGGERMANCARSAREUBERQUALITYFTW attitude even people who don't own them have towards them, My old man for example had never owned a German car in his life, closest he'd come was owning rebadged Opels ie Vauxhalls, yet he would always remark when seeing a VW "quality motor" and now he has one i remarked how the owners manual for his car being in a "leather" bound small lever arch file with separate sections for things was a nice touch he said "that's VW for you, German quality, its the wee neat touches like that and attention to detail that makes them quality"

 

So yeah the Germans are good at clever marketing, people who have never owned them speak about their quality/reliability like they are speaking from personal experience in much the same way others who've never owned a Ford/Vauxhall will tell you how their cars are crap/not up to much, so it'd not so much that German cars are bad they just have a lot of hype to live upto.

[Junkman]

...they are not any uglier/worse looking than anything from any other manufacturers from any other country...

 

Every time I think car styling can't get worse, the next new car show is held, and I'm proven wrong yet again. That something isn't uglier than something else, is nowadays not a token of beauty, far from it.

 

I can't see any trace of beauty in the examples the German car magazine chose, but admittedly some of them wouldn't have been my prime candidates for an article like this. They made worse. Much worse.

[alf892]

I like things with curves........be they wenches or cars

 

So much of the recent cars and girls and girls thread with it's straight waisted chaves leaves me cold.

 

Siimilarly many of the examples in this thread are meh....

 

But i think the Lupo remains a good looking car........oh.........and I like Binis the more time passes.

 

So the krauts can do what they like. Just give me cars with curves and I'm in.........I don't don't care where they originate.

 

In some places BL is ridiculed.......in others it is czech......now the germans.No change.

 

Just saying.

[forddeliveryboy]

Success on a national scale has begun to make the Germans forget what made them successful in the first place. That Maybach is bloody awful, almost as bad as the new Bini and its horrid Landbewohner offshoot. They're not even long-lasting and reliable as they used to be.

[stilo_active]

I've never particularly warmed to German tin. Never had one or looked after one that was reliable either.

 

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[Negative Creep]

I saw one of those BMW electric things the other day and............wow, just wow. I'd advise that you carry a hipflask full of bleach so that you can pour it into your eyes should you ever chance across one