Who owns the fastest shite?

[Sloth in a bowl]

Fastest falling apart car with the most problems in least time (and most tinworm) that I've ever owned - 1998 Fiat Coupe 20vt.

In 2 months:

Exhaust fell off,

Radiator punctured,

Windscreen wiper arm sheared,

Door hinge split,

Rocker cover gasket,

Cambelt,

Sump rusted through,

Gear lever knob fell apart,

Window regulator broke,

Intercooler hosing split,

Wiring loom caught fire briefly,

Headlamps clouded,

Gearbox oil "fell out",

 

And much much more...

 

But they all do that sir....

[drum]

Surely Breadvan wins this with his flying spam can.

 

The fastest car I owned was probably my volvo 480es which could do the ton I'm sure. I didn't try it. The fastest Shite I've driven was my dad's G reg cav Sri.

 

I once had my K reg fire blade flat out but I was too scared to look at the speedo.

[oldford]

My Sierra 1.8 is an ex rental, so by definition it must be fast. I did manage Gatwick to Norwich one night in rental Sierra 1.8 Estate in 2 hours, 1.5 hours to A12/A14 at Ipswich and 30 minutes to Norwich up the A140.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Surely Breadvan wins this with his flying spam can.

 

The fastest car I owned was probably my volvo 480es which could do the ton I'm sure. I didn't try it. The fastest Shite I've driven was my dad's G reg cav Sri.

 

I once had my K reg fire blade flat out but I was too scared to look at the speedo.

 

 

If you mean the Beagley Pup, (1) I ain't got it any more, and (2) it would only do about 105 knots (indicated airspeed) flat out unless in a dive.  A headwind would reduce the groundspeed.  Add a 30 knot tailwind, however, and you have a groundspeed of 155 mph.  Long ago, I had a Cap 10b that with the same tailwind would be going at 185mph straight and level. 

 

ANYWAY, a Beagley Pup is NOT A SPAMCAN!!! How very dare you, see you outside, etc...

[drum]

If you mean the Beagley Pup, (1) I ain't got it any more, and (2) it would only do about 105 knots (indicated airspeed) flat out unless in a dive.  A headwind would reduce the groundspeed.  Add a 30 knot tailwind, however, and you have a groundspeed of 155 mph.  Long ago, I had a Cap 10b that with the same tailwind would be going at 185mph straight and level.

 

Fairy nuff, wasn't sure what you were fleein' aboot in. I never got beyond a rented C152, the Lada of spam cans.

[Guest Breadvan72]

Not fleein abooot in nowt, like.  Hoapin to get a loan from me marrer of another Cap 10 layater this yeyah, why aye.

[drum]

Not fleein abooot in nowt, like.  Hoapin to get a loan from me marrer of another Cap 10 layater this yeyah, why aye.

You do a great Jimmy Nail

[Impmadman]

Had a R1 at 140mph on the A3. Got stopped by by our friendly copper and got 6 months ban. Sold the bike after that. Bit stupid really

[anonymous user]

My Maserati does one eighty five, I lost my licence now I don't drive. Well, no, I still have my licence and don't have anything remotely fast anymore.

 

When I was younger I was also guilty of trying to max out any new car I had. Often my nerve gave out before the car did, some people are just not designed to go that quickly. On paper the fastest cars I have owned would be the 928 and the V6 Alfa 164. I went faster in the Alfa than I ever did in the Porsche, but they still had plenty left before I gave up.

 

On the other hand I did used to get my 1 litre Polo to bounce off the rev limiter, in fifth, going downhill on the M4, now that really felt quick. (The whole car used to shake, I think it was scared.) 

[twosmoke300]

I've had the pleasure of doing an indicated 103 (allowing for parralax error ) in a tweaked reliant kitten. Even with a skinfull on board it was scary .

[cms206]

Fastest I've been on land was as a passenger, 155mph on the M74 at Abingdon at about 10am in an 08-plate Evo. The driver had a BLT sarnie in one hand and a coffee in the other. Dunno how we never died.

[twosmoke300]

Oh I was the passenger in the kitten

[chaseracer]

Fastest I've been on land was as a passenger, 155mph on the M74 at Abingdon at about 10am in an 08-plate Evo...

 

164.

 

M1, a late summer Sunday dawn in 1992. Very, VERY tweaked Sierra Cosworth. 

 

The pilot was a talented racing driver but my buttocks were still pulling the seat up my arse...

[jmsguzzi]

Fastest as a passenger was 120 in a BMW 530D. Felt like we were still doing 70 which just makes the car even more boring. 

[Junkman]

This was the first fire-up.

 

 

Note that in typical Shiter fashion, it was done next to the neighbor's houses on grass.

A nitro-fueler, no less.

Then it was taken to two beer or not two beer, Shakesbeer Raceway, where we failed miserably:

 

 

But if it would run properly, it'd do sub-4-Second runs @ 300+

So far it would have been outrun by a 2CV running on most of its cylinders.

 

Should anyone be interested in this kind of shite and its history, and wants to see my ugly face from years gone, read this book:

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nobbys-Quarter-Mile-Nobby-Hills/dp/0955962307

[sheffcortinacentre]

I got cut up on my old Honda Fireblade by former Manchester Utd goalkeeper Fabien Barthez one lunchtime on the M60, needless to say I did the decent thing and pulled up next to his Merc AMG SL600 and twatted his mirror off. This resulted in releasing some of his Gallic rage and he chased me for a good 10 minutes in dense traffic, he was even taking to the hard shoulder at well over 120 mph to try and catch me. 

 

Bike 1

 

French cunt 0

French soccer playing cunt I think you'll find.

[Guest Breadvan72]

50 mph in a Series III Landy gave new meaning to the words "mind shattering terror".

[Jim Bell]

My ex brother in law is a huge bullshitter, He used to have the world's most shitbag J reg Volvo Estate with some sort of turbocharged POS engine in it, and a metric shit-tonne of old crap in the boot. He claimed that it was "The fastest car on the roads. Faster than any Ferrari".

I think I know him.

[RobT]

How fast has anyone taken a standard 998cc A-series?  I think I've done 80 in my Metro once before mechanical sympathy/deafness kicked in.  It's a real shame BL never gave them a 5-speed 'box as that would make sitting at 65-70 on the motorway much more bearable.

[nigel bickle]

Drive a series of Fiat Coupes as everyday munters. The 20vt, whilst still damn quick, has covered a quarter mill, and is still on original engine, gearbox, suspension etc. Currently being used by SWMBO for a 200 mile daily commute, its given no probs whatsoever.     Apart from freeing the rear brakes annually, none have ever caused more than minor concern.  

 

I ride a Blackbird -does that make me quick?

 

I've certainly tried it ,and it told me a highly improbable number, way above my expertise level.

 

Naughty, but nice.

[Bobthebeard]

Bit late to this thread, but the last car I bought got me into the spare bedroom in less than 30 seconds.

[robinmasters]

How fast has anyone taken a standard 998cc A-series?  I think I've done 80 in my Metro once before mechanical sympathy/deafness kicked in.  It's a real shame BL never gave them a 5-speed 'box as that would make sitting at 65-70 on the motorway much more bearable.

 

I've done over sixty in a 998cc Metro with the bonnet open. 

[anonymous user]

Back when I was 19 I had a series 3 2.25 diesel.

205 tyres and no overdrive meant 63mph flat out. That's 63mph (brogue to axeminster) going up hill then 63mph over the top and the same 63mph going down the other side.

Back then I held the record amongst my friends for the run from the the Perthshire village where we grew up to Stuart's flat in Glasgow.

It's all about momentum.

Surely you mean welly to floorboard