Who owns the fastest shite?

[Guest Breadvan72]

I have been told by a Triumph Vitesse owner that down a steep motorway hill a 2.0 overdrive car will pull 6000rpm, 128mph!

 

 

Also, monkeys might fly out of my butt.

[Six-cylinder]

Shattered - I though my 321 bhp  BMW M3 Evo would trump you all but the Jaguar XJR just pips my 0-60 of 5.4 secs and the alpine A610 runs away at the top end because of the BMW 155 mph limiter. Now where are the magazines, what car offers better performance than my 1996 M3 for the least money!

[dollywobbler]

I suspect I'm not going to win this game, as I don't currently own anything that can top the ton. However, I can honestly say I've driven the 2CV flat out! A sat nav 73mph. On the flat. 

[Six-cylinder]

I suspect I'm not going to win this game, as I don't currently own anything that can top the ton. However, I can honestly say I've driven the 2CV flat out! A sat nav 73mph. On the flat. 

 

That car needs a speed limiter to stop you breaking the law by 3 mph!

[dollywobbler]

You need the sat nav for downhill sections, as the speedo only goes up to 75mph.

[HMC]

TEH jag is quoted for a 3.8 to be capable of 120 in manual overdrive flavour, but it has a high compression 3.8 lump fitted. It's also pulling a xk140 Le Mans diff which will blunt it, but is all about long strided cruising rather than outright speed for me.

 

Also the pug 504 has a quoted max of 80 mph so I'm right out of the running!

[Six-cylinder]

You need the sat nav for downhill sections, as the speedo only goes up to 75mph.

 

Just open the sunroof and side windows that should slow it down a bit!

[Digbydog]

I didn't own it but I was once driven at an indicated 110mph in a mk2 Transit on the Autobahn, complete with full length roofrack and 6 us on board plus tools. It sounded like a banshee (4 speed box) and I don't think we went at rhat speed for very long. It was an experience

 

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[nigel bickle]

Giant pissing contest

 

A standard superbike will win here, nearly every time.

[fordperv]

I was going to ask if bikes are in with this as well

 

My baby bike rf600 is 100bhp 0-60 is 3.9 sec 150mph top speed

I'm sure shifters have got faster 2 wheel toys though

[Digbydog]

My neighbour thinks his whute van is a Ferrari. Drives it like a thing demented. My Chrysler Neon with slush box wouldn't be a contender but I always pass white van man on the way home

 

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[overrun]

I don't own a motorbike, but my jetski is great at bullshitting about speed, via the onboard dream-o-meter.

It would do a GPS proven 72mph, before rebuild, though.

 

I claim fastest on water @coalnotdole

 

The Escort 'Has racing in it's blood' and is a bespoke, de-tuned, homologated winnar.

So it does an impressive* 115mph or so, flat out. Animal.

 

I haven't done this, though. Incase the bonnet comes up or the sunroof blows out.

Even though I have two spoilers.

[saucedoctor]

Giant pissing contest

 

A standard superbike will win here, nearly every time.

I remember having a discussion of this ilk with a bunch of guys in the break room at Aurora Unicomp, about 1999/2000, "What have you got/How fast/what bhp?" being the questions of the day. When I was asked I said "Suzuki", and the further question was "What is it? A Swift? Vitara?" To which my reply was "GSX-R 750"

[bub2006]

Well my motorbike is definatly out the running. May get an indicated 60 mph if the hill is steep enough. Does do 100 mile to £4.50 though.

[fordperv]

^ That may be an interesting thread "economical shite"

[bub2006]

Its definitely shite. Not shit though. Well i don't think so anyway! Honda c90 cub. Fetching silly money now too. Parts are cheap,easy to repair and lots of tuning options if one desires.

[Des]

I've no idea of the top speed of anything I've driven in the last 10 or 20 years, even hire cars, I can haz maturity.

Also don't recall when I last saw a bit of road free of bumbling brake dabbing zombies scattered randomly across all lanes

[Volksy]

On the subject of C90's. A friend of mine is currently piloting one around the globe. He's in Senegal at the moment... His blog is here if anyone's interested:

 

http://www.liamandc90aroundtheworld.com/2014/01/update_13.html?spref=fb

[John F]

My Calibra will do an indicated 155 mph, so it probably wins the prize for most humble fast shite.

[HillmanImp]

Is that kid from RR with the 200mph bog standard Nissan Sunny coupe on here? He will win if he is.

 

He might have added a stripe down the side or chopped the springs to make it even faster?

[saucedoctor]

For those of you who missed it

 

http://retrorides.proboards.com/thread/129901/1989-nissan-sunny-b12-coupe

 

151MPH, no less.

[derskine]

Polo did 105 but was very rattly/wandery.

Not sure on 340 but I expect no and Cortina definitely not.

(With regards to going >100 that is)

[Guest Breadvan72]

On the subject of C90's. A friend of mine is currently piloting one around the globe. He's in Senegal at the moment... His blog is here if anyone's interested:

 

http://www.liamandc90aroundtheworld.com/2014/01/update_13.html?spref=fb

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDOOT-T2gKo

[alf892]

My 1947 Rover is faster than a Maserati.........

 

Specifically it is faster than Mr Boll's maser as I think it is still off the road

 

In fact it is faster than quite a few supercars but that is the only one that comes to mind.

 

LOL at the thread generally though............good to see the art of bullshit alive and well and even maintained in the face of common sense and reality

[ShiteRider]

I had my old 735i up to an indicated 135, then the dash pinged up "loss of brake pressure!" which pretty much pulled the pin on the shit grenade in my pants.

[fordperv]

Just read that rr thread and Lol at monsior bollox's breville that does 120

[Station]

I did 140 in my Impreza on the A5 overtaking a HGV because a Transit was on my arse for some reason.

 

Went up to 156 mph in this on the A46 (the satnav informs the rental company)

 

 

Flashed an F-type being speedtested in third lane.

[RobT]

Based on what Tony Pond did on the Isle of Man the Vitesse is a quick 'un.  But mine is a heap yet still quick off the mark.

 

I may have owned the fastest beige car on here once when I had this Montego 2.0EFi, now owned by 109landy off here.  I'm ready to be corrected though!

 

 

[Rocket88]

Based on what Tony Pond did on the Isle of Man the Vitesse is a quick 'un.  But mine is a heap yet still quick off the mark.

 

I may have owned the fastest beige car on here once when I had this Montego 2.0EFi, now owned by 109landy off here.  I'm ready to be corrected though!

i'll see your beige, and raise you a Riley 4/72 with monster tuned MGB lump............

[Tayne]

On 14/01/2014 at 11:24, Des said:

Also don't recall when I last saw a bit of road free of bumbling brake dabbing zombies scattered randomly across all lanes