Claim's Cabbies Corner. UPDATE! Warren gets an official complaint and bollocking!

[Rod/b]

4 hours ago, warren t claim said:

The thing is that Labour have pledged to outlaw cross border hiring if they win the next election. This'll put 99% or drivers flying the Wolverhampton flag of convenience out of work.

On the other hand if you live in Wolverhampton you should never have to wait longer than 12 seconds for an Uber. 

[UltraWomble]

19 hours ago, warren t claim said:

The thing is that Labour have pledged to outlaw cross border hiring if they win the next election. This'll put 99% or drivers flying the Wolverhampton flag of convenience out of work.

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

[PicantoJon]

25 minutes ago, UltraWomble said:

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

They seem to be magnetically attracted to Lancashire. I remember when Uber was starting to get popular over here, it baffled the shit out of me seeing a Wolverhampton plated Prius parked on a shitty side street in Accrington. 

[bangernomics]

My old neighbour in Manchester was a part time uberer and his was Wolverhampton.


Gzongenflatch

[Jazoli]

The local taxi firm here in Kendal are advertising for Wolverhampton plated cabs, thought it was odd.

[angle]

22 hours ago, UltraWomble said:

After spotting that one I saw 2 more. 

In Preston. 

Whats the craic? 

Different councils can set their own requirements for getting a minicab licence, Wolverhampton's is something like 'are you conscious and can you bung us £300?'

Current law is that a minicab operator can get a job, sub-contract it to another out of area operator and they can fill it using their out of area driver.

So, Uber gets a job in Preston, 'sub-contracts' it to their Wolverhampton office, and 3 minutes later you get picked up by a 2013 Mondeo on Wolverhampton plates. 

You'll be amazed to hear that Uber set up offices wherever the licencing requirements are minimal - I've never seen a Wolverhampton plate in Bristol, but I reckon more than half the minicabs are on South Gloucestershire plates. 

[warren t claim]

One of those days.

I get sent a job to collect a punter from 17E R*** Lane to take them to the ferry terminal about a mile and a half away. I turn up as instructed and hit the callback to let them know I'm here. A few minutes pass and there's no sign of my passenger which would normally mean that I'd hit the no job button and fuck off to the next job on the screen but as this fare is going to the ferry terminal, and therefore the punter could have a boat to catch, I use the call customer feature to phone them. Phone rings but no answer so I bail.

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

A gesture like that restores your faith in fellow humans!!!

[warren t claim]

4 minutes ago, Mr_Bo11ox said:

A gesture like that restores your faith in fellow humans!!!

It really does restore your faith in humanity. After eight cans I may take her up on her kind offer.

[warren t claim]

7 minutes ago, warren t claim said:

It really does restore your faith in humanity. After eight cans I may take her up on her kind offer.

Done worse.

[sheffcortinacentre]

13 hours ago, warren t claim said:

One of those days.

I get sent a job to collect a punter from 17E R*** Lane to take them to the ferry terminal about a mile and a half away. I turn up as instructed and hit the callback to let them know I'm here. A few minutes pass and there's no sign of my passenger which would normally mean that I'd hit the no job button and fuck off to the next job on the screen but as this fare is going to the ferry terminal, and therefore the punter could have a boat to catch, I use the call customer feature to phone them. Phone rings but no answer so I bail.

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

[Matty]

35 minutes ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

Don't want to know but kinda do in a morbid way. I'm assuming some sort of spunk tsunami 😵‍💫

[warren t claim]

2 hours ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

 

[sheffcortinacentre]

2 hours ago, Matty said:

Don't want to know but kinda do in a morbid way. I'm assuming some sort of spunk tsunami 😵‍💫

Basically yes

[Dave_Q]

@warren t claim, do you/the industry think that banning cross-border hiring will really happen? Asking for a friend* who can't really be arsed paying an extra £2-300 and doing a practical driving test to get a local council badge.

Another question I had was on tax, do you know of many drivers operating as a limited company? I am a 40% taxpayer in my day job therefore would pay 40% on any profits if ubering for a 2nd job which I would like to avoid.

I have seen a couple of places online offering Ltd as a service, just wondered how common it is in practice and if you know of anyone who tried it and got HMRC reamed considering that the "business" is in effect 1 man working for 1 ridesharing app.

[angle]

AFAIK although the headline is 'Labour will ban cross border hiring' what they're actually talking about is setting up some national minimum licencing standards so that there's less point in doing it. 

[bangernomics]

[mention=3910]warren t claim[/mention], do you/the industry think that banning cross-border hiring will really happen? Asking for a friend* who can't really be arsed paying an extra £2-300 and doing a practical driving test to get a local council badge.
Another question I had was on tax, do you know of many drivers operating as a limited company? I am a 40% taxpayer in my day job therefore would pay 40% on any profits if ubering for a 2nd job which I would like to avoid.
I have seen a couple of places online offering Ltd as a service, just wondered how common it is in practice and if you know of anyone who tried it and got HMRC reamed considering that the "business" is in effect 1 man working for 1 ridesharing app.

My 2 bits as a Ltd IT type contractor. Tax man just wants his cut, keep the books and all expenses you incur like every fuel receipt you can find and any and every car service part and add as expenses. Any PSC hosts will do you for about £100 pm but that’s going to include your self assessment and vat etc annual returns. Or you can do it yourself have loads more admin.

Don’t pay yourself a salary as it’s tax death just take dividends depending on where you are up to or bang it all in a pension pot and earn nowt but have a better dotage?

Not sure if there’s a flat rate expense scheme for Joe Baxi types but Warren will no doubt enlighten you.


Gzongenflatch.
In memory of Phil.

[big_al_granvia]

On 06/05/2024 at 06:20, warren t claim said:

 

Less than five minutes later I get despatched the same job back to me. In these circumstances, I'd normally phone the office and tell them to send another taxi as I'm reluctant to be let down twice by a passenger, but as this is a fare that may have to catch the Irish ferry I reluctantly agree to go back. 

I return to 17E R*** Lane to see my punter waiting for me. I must admit that at first glance she didn't look like either a holidaymaker or a business traveler. She was a lady of maybe 45 dressed in a top that was struggling to contain her tits, a leather miniskirt, fishnets and thigh high boots. 

She hops into the back of the Kia and without me asking tells me the reason for her journey. Apparently she's seeing a married truck driver who's parked at the ferry terminal and when she phoned him earlier she was sure that she could hear another woman's voice in the background meaning that she wanted to confront him!

During the trip she told me that she suffers from a medical condition that causes her to orgasm 50 times a day! I'm not sure if that means that she climaxes 50 times a day whether or not she's having sex so as you can imagine, I was a little worried that these climaxes were involuntary and she'll squirt on my back seat!

Five minutes later I drop her off at the GTS Transport Scania and she says that if I ever fancy a play then feel free to knock on her door anytime, day or night.

So the question we all want answered is..have you been back and smashed her yet?? Okay it sounds like she has seen more helmets than a motorsport scruitineer  but she sounds like a right hoor

[warren t claim]

6 hours ago, big_al_granvia said:

So the question we all want answered is..have you been back and smashed her yet?? Okay it sounds like she has seen more helmets than a motorsport scruitineer  but she sounds like a right hoor

Although I'm certain that she's been smashed more often than a nonce's windows I've so far resisted the temptation to take her up on her kind offer. 

Trust me, if I was single I'd have nipped over to say hello by now. After all, I did enjoy a night of passion with Jan, the Birkenhead barmaid who was called Tenpole Tudor by us taxi drivers as she'd had the "Swords Of A Thousand Men".

[warren t claim]

On 12/02/2014 at 00:23, warren t claim said:

Update time. My local authority has finally moved into the 21st century and realized that maybe a car isn't totally fucked when it hits eight years of age as is sick of issuing discretionary six monthly extensions after eight years. Now we can plate a car until it's tenth birthday I've got a bit more choice on what to buy and I've got a couple of favorites. I require your bigoted opinions on running either a Jag X Type 2.0 dizzler or a Project Drive 75 Rover with the BMW lump. I'd prefer a manual version unless I'm advised otherwise. Your thoughts please!

Why am I quoting a ten year old post on a thread I hardly bother maintaining?

Last month my council decided to introduce a new licencing criteria for PH cars. Here are some of the highlights.

Factory rear tinted glass is now allowed as long as it isn't too dark. Six years ago Merseyside Police who's area covers Liverpool, Sefton, Wirral and Knowsley licensing authorities noticed a large number of Muslim drivers entering the taxi trade and shat themselves at the prospect of them having a Rotherham type child sexual exploitation situation on their hands where Pakistani taxi drivers were running 14 year old girls around to various kebab shops to get raped. Plod asked all licensing authorities on their patch to outlaw rear tinted windows in taxis so their officers could keep an eye on who's riding on our back seats. Every local council with the exception of Wirral told plod to fuck off.  With Merseyside taxi firms starting to merge and operate across several boroughs Wirral were starting to lose drivers as they could go and get a Sefton badge and save themselves about £1000 getting the rear glass changed to clear when they bought a new car. An interesting experience I had was when I went to the Liverpool Taxi Expo back in 2019. Liverpool Taxi Police set up their stand next to the taxi dealer who was displaying the then new Mondeo Hybrid Estate and whenever someone wearing a Wirral badge sat in it an enforcement officer would wander over to tell the driver that rear tinted windows were perfectly acceptable on their patch and would they like an application form for a Liverpool badge... Us Wirral drivers pleaded with W.B.C over their somewhat draconian policy. We even offered a compromise offering to meet them halfway by agreeing to change the rear drop glass but to no avail. One lad had his new car fail inspection because when his car was broken into via the rear quarter light the only replacement he could get was 30% tinted. It seems that Wirral has seen enough drivers taking their badge money elsewhere and finally relented.

Maximum sill height regulations dropped. Another "Wirral Only" licensing requirement. This had to go due to car manufactures pretty much fucking off making family saloons. 15 years ago a taxi driver had the choice of a positive plethora of family saloons to plate, Mondeo, Vectra, Laguna, Primera, C5, 407 all of which have been killed off without a replacement. Our choice of cars was dwindling down to the Octavia, A4, 3 Series or C Class. Now we are allowed to plate shit like Qashqais and Vauxhall Poundlands.

Age limits. Now this is a good one. Any car being presented for its first plate now has to be Euro 6.  They've thrown us a bone with this change by dropping the ten year age limit for any Euro 6 compliant car that's currently plated. This means that my 65 plate 1.6 Insignia diesel can continue to be plated until it becomes uneconomically viable to work as a taxi due to reliability issues. Those of you sniggering at the back desperate to quote this sentence with the reply "The Insignia left the factory in an unreliable state" need not bother replying.

Testing and inspection criteria. Up to now the requirements for inspection for PH cars are as follows. Annual tests until the car is six years old and six monthly after that. This has been relaxed to annual inspections up to eight years old before moving on to twice yearly. 

[LightBulbFun]

21 minutes ago, warren t claim said:

They've thrown us a bone with this change by dropping the ten year age limit for any Euro 6 compliant car that's currently plated. 

a thats a shame, as I was about to say "so if I Nissan Leaf/Tesla Swapped a Lada Riva could I get it plated since it would be Euro 6 compliant?"   (which area was it that back in the day mandated a minimum width between internal door handles just to stop people plating ladas?)

[warren t claim]

3 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

a thats a shame, as I was about to say "so if I Nissan Leaf/Tesla Swapped a Lada Riva could I get it plated since it would be Euro 6 compliant?"   (which area was it that back in the day mandated a minimum width between internal door handles just to stop people plating ladas?)

Wirral. Hence the "Wirral Standard Arse" of 15" in diameter. 

[warren t claim]

Back in the late 90s when we had about 15 taxi firms in the area it was common to see a sign in a taxi office saying DRIVERS WANTED. NO RIVAS OR ESTELLES. I suppose this was the taxi equivalent of NO DOGS BLACKS OR IRISH in the window of a B&B back in the 60s.

[sierraman]

On 06/05/2024 at 19:39, sheffcortinacentre said:

Sounds crazy/made-up, but there's a male version called hyperspermia 

How do you even come across such a condition? 

[Matty]

47 minutes ago, sierraman said:

How do you even come across such a condition? 

Please tell me you meant that

[mk2_craig]

9 hours ago, warren t claim said:

Back in the late 90s when we had about 15 taxi firms in the area it was common to see a sign in a taxi office saying DRIVERS WANTED. NO RIVAS OR ESTELLES.

That sounds to me like the firms were attempting to sell themselves as a decent place to work, in the same way as a coach company might drum up business by saying NO WEEKENDS OR SUNDAYS. 

[sierraman]

4 hours ago, mk2_craig said:

That sounds to me like the firms were attempting to sell themselves as a decent place to work, in the same way as a coach company might drum up business by saying NO WEEKENDS OR SUNDAYS. 

Firm near us were advertising a job, ‘regular nights out’. Fuck that I thought, I’ve enough friends as it is to keep up with. 😂

[wuvvum]

17 hours ago, warren t claim said:

This means that my 65 plate 1.6 Insignia diesel can continue to be plated until it becomes uneconomically viable to work as a taxi due to reliability issues.

The Insignia left the factory in an unreliable state. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

[LightBulbFun]

7 hours ago, mk2_craig said:

That sounds to me like the firms were attempting to sell themselves as a decent place to work, in the same way as a coach company might drum up business by saying NO WEEKENDS OR SUNDAYS. 

is it that, or is it saying "drivers who own Ladas or Skodas need not apply"? im not sure who supplied the car in this case

 

I have always found car snobbery really quite interesting, just from the perspective of well, for me a car, any car, growing up was a thing of mysteriousness/desire, just getting a ride in someone else's car was generally an event for me, we never had the means to own a car

so the thought of us having *any* car was something in its own right, I never thought about what car it should be I just thought it would be awesome if we did have one

likewise people on here talk about embarrassment about being dropped off at school in an older "uncool" car, again that just seems so alien to me, we never got driven to school, had to go there on foot and back, so again when I thought what it would be like to be driven to school and back I never once give any thought as to what car it would be/or care such

 

 

[Lord Sterling]

23 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

is it that, or is it saying "drivers who own Ladas or Skodas need not apply"? im not sure who supplied the car in this case

I have always found car snobbery really quite interesting, just from the perspective of well, for me a car, any car, growing up was a thing of mysteriousness/desire, just getting a ride in someone else's car was generally an event for me, we never had the means to own a car

so the thought of us having *any* car was something in its own right, I never thought about what car it should be I just thought it would be awesome if we did have one

likewise people on here talk about embarrassment about being dropped off at school in an older "uncool" car, again that just seems so alien to me, we never got driven to school, had to go there on foot and back, so again when I thought what it would be like to be driven to school and back I never once give any thought as to what car it would be/or care such

That is honestly interesting.  I think there are a couple of shiters on here in similar circumstances whereby cars were not a thing or of any interest until they actually had a car which suddenly opened up a new interest.