Autoshite seance

[minolman]

So, who would you contact from the automotive spirit world to ask a specific question..?

 

I want to ask:

 

Alec Issigonis what he thinks about the new mini.

 

Andre Citroen what he really thought when his old mate Michelin effectively walked in and took over.

 

I'm sure I will think of more

 

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Issigonis would be interesting,according to a book I've just read, he was a stroppy fucker at the best of times and as he got older fell out with everyone he knew.

Apparently if anyone arrived in something he hadn't designed he made them park it out of view of his house.

My favourite Issigonis quote is on reading a criticism of the driving position in one of his designs. 'One shouldn't be comfortable behind the wheel,discomfort keeps drivers alert'.

 

Wonder what Porsche would make of the pineapple bollocks?

[Bobthebeard]

I would like to ask whoever designed the headlights on my Honda Accord to call round and actually change the headlight bulbs themselves next time they blow. See how they like it!

[HillmanImp]

I bet that chap Dorset has already contacted Jimmy Saville and asked for the money back for that roller he bought from him.*

 

*although he is probably quite far back in a long queue of pretty angry people andgry about more than shitty cars. 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

I would like to ask whoever designed the headlights on my Honda Accord to call round and actually change the headlight bulbs themselves next time they blow. See how they like it!

Are you assuming they're dead because they were so ashamed they committed hair-kari ?

[Bobthebeard]

Wonder what Porsche would make of the pineapple bollocks?

He probably had normal bollocks until he tried to get into a 944 in a hurry. So did I...!

[Bobthebeard]

Are you assuming they're dead because they were so ashamed they committed hair-kari ?

No..... Probably just bled to death after trying it for themselves!

Skinned knuckles and rage induced head banging tantrums.. Possibly.

[dollywobbler]

It would be nice to tell Andre Citroen that Michelin did a bloody brilliant job. Andre broke the company and himself with the Traction Avant, but Michelin not only kept up the quirkyness, they went several steps beyond with the 2CV, H Van and DS. I'm sure Andre would have been proud. Probably best to gloss over more recent history...

[vulgalour]

Sadly, I never got to meet the late Dr Moulton, I'd like to ask him out to the pub for a pint.

[Lacquer Peel]

I wonder what Hitler would make of the success of the KdF-wagen and its successors.

[tooSavvy]

I'd ask Heny Ford, quoted as saying - of car exhaust fumes - '"The wind will simply blow them away!" ... AWAY TO FUCKING WHERE?

 

Probably ask the developer of TwoStroke engine the same question... just be wearing a gasmask at the time 

 

 

tooSavvy

[hairnet]

fangio on whether being compared to senna or schumacher is right

 

moss on having any regrets as to being classed  as the best driver never to win the world champs

 

spen king - how did you come up with all that

[tooSavvy]

^^^^ why don't you ring Moss & ask...??

 

TS

[HMC]

Show Rudolf Diesel a DMF and a DPF

 

Look what they did to your baby rudy!!!

 

I suspect He'd cry

[mercrocker]

^not  to  mention those fashion fuckers that cause every Ebay listing for a diesel part  to be questioned as  to its authenticity....

[vulgalour]

If I can find her, I'd ask what old family friend Maureen would think of her knackered black Mk1 Ford Escort estate being worth £LOLMEGABUCKS now when at the time of her ownership it was held together with string, hope and rust holding hands tightly across the holes.  You could only start it by coasting off the drive and bump starting it down the main road through the estate.

[minolman]

I bet that chap Dorset has already contacted Jimmy Saville and asked for the money back for that roller he bought from him.*

 

*although he is probably quite far back in a long queue of pretty angry people andgry about more than shitty cars. 

How many Rollers did he have. I know an old couple who owned a white Shadow that was his! LoL. 

[minolman]

It would be nice to tell Andre Citroen that Michelin did a bloody brilliant job. Andre broke the company and himself with the Traction Avant, but Michelin not only kept up the quirkyness, they went several steps beyond with the 2CV, H Van and DS. I'm sure Andre would have been proud. Probably best to gloss over more recent history...

So proud he never got over the loss of the company, apparently suffered with depression and died young? Hmm, forgive me for having some doubts about this. He only ever became public because he simply didn't have enough money to expand the factory in the way he wanted, prior to that he'd kept it all in the family.

[Doctormop]

I'd get W O Bentley to swear on oath to never sell any car produced at his works to anyone connected with Football. (or the music industry, the fashion industry, celebrity chefs and anyone who appears on daytime television)

 On second thoughts no I wouldn't as he'd probably tell me to Fuck right off and mind my own business

[tooSavvy]

Errr.... JS 'proximity' confession time......

 

When I was about 8 <safety assured - no interference memories suppressed> he came to our house, in South Shields.  My mam was a dooer in the Red Cross, he came to open some jamboree at the local hall.

 

Nothing much to report - I recall he had white hair.  However my mam did say that he made some small talk about his Roller [outside].... and how one of his was bought for a film shoot and run over a cliff, into a quarry - or similar.

 

His complaint was "well, they smashed it all up wiv big hammers and ...like... heaved it off. I looked after my cars!".

 

end of embarrassing recall.....

 

As You Were, shipmates 

 

TS

[Junkman]

Spen King for obvious reasons. And I want to have a few cold ones with him.

Rudolf Uhlenhaut, because I like people who make things go fast and give a fiddlers fart about corporate hierarchies.

Virgil M. Exner, to discuss fine art.

Ettore Bugatti, to ask him whether he really meant the hilarious rubbish he designed seriously. And to see whether he really is the prick all stories about him suggest.

[warren t claim]

Show Rudolf Diesel's mum a DMF and a DPF

 

Look, just keep take it up the arse tonight baby!

 

I suspect she'd cry

EFA

[Hertz]

I wonder what the likes of Pogweasel think of our new improved forum, are you there pogweasel?

 

[dugong]

I'd ask the first owner of my GS what on earth he was thinking when he signed the banker's draft.

[Stixy]

 

Virgil M. Exner, to discuss fine art.

 

 

Yes  

[Shep Shepherd]

David Bache or Raymond Loewy, in order to discuss the finer points of automotive/industrial design

[Asimo]

Mr. Soichirio Honda, to see if he could influence his firm a bit, steer them back to building happy screamers instead of fugly CRV and other plodding horrors of charmless, and even diesel, dullness.

[dugong]

Mr. Soichirio Honda, to see if he could influence his firm a bit, steer them back to building happy screamers instead of fugly CRV and other plodding horrors of charmless, and even diesel, dullness.

Maybe he could work out a way to make those engines produce some torque too, instead of a chavvy blare.

[saucedoctor]

Tazio Nuvolari. In (1927?) at the Coppa Ciano he raced his new Alfa Romeo to second place in a plaster corset after another motorcycle crash.

 

I read in "Enzo Ferrari - A Life" that, in 1946, Nuvolari raced in the Milan Grand Prix using only one hand to steer; the other was holding a bloodstained handkerchief over his mouth. He was coughing up blood, as the petrol fumes had destroyed his lungs over the years.

 

FACKIN NAILS.

[HMC]

+ 1 on Nuvolari. What a character.  Apparently he is creditted with being one of the first to drift cars mainly because his slight build meant he found it hard to manhandle cars round corners. OMG drift YO