ebay 'BARGAINS'

[richardthestag]

in the world of madness that we live in an utterly hanging but complete and genuine pre 73 Range Rover might be worth two and half bags upwards.

 

so how much then for an incomplete pile of scrap, a 1980s 2 door wearing a Ringa J plate and two v5s?

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/two-range-rover-classic-2-door-for-repair-or-parts-1971-and-1972/153130430747

 

£12999

 

best fucking laugh I had all week

 

knock the last digit off and I still recon bidding would struggle to get past 2 bags

[warren t claim]

Lecture and case study exercise on 'How to ruin a decent car' 101.

 

This Volvo from 'the White Background co' keeps winking at me:

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/An-Exceptional-Volvo-440-1-6Li-with-One-Owner-and-29-812-Miles-from-New/282981251598?hash=item41e2ff3a0e:g:2D8AAOSwMM9bCDII

 

A mate has just bought one of these with 23,000 miles for £150 off a Chinese lady. He's sold the plate off it which was *888 LUK for £1500 and is stashing the Volvo away.

[Angrydicky]

This dealer's got all the spiel.

 

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-Royale-1980-MOT-and-Tax-Exempt-Soon-Only-One-For-Sale-In-UK/232874161824?hash=item363861b6a0%3Ag%3A9XUAAOSwNppbZLQb&_sacat=0&_nkw=vauxhall+royale&_from=R40&rt=nc&_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313.TR2.TRC0.A0.H0.Xvauxhall+royale.TRS0

 

 

 

Suggested Retail Price Once Restored: £7,999

Estimated Value In 10 Years: £25,000

 

Yeah righto m8

 

 

 

 

Valuer's Comments: "Ultra rare Vauxhall. This is the only one in the UK for sale. Beautiful velour interior and get this....it's a one owner car. That's right, no previous owners. So if you are fanatical about Vauxhalls and want a Royale saloon in your collection then this is the one to restore.  Ok the bodywork doesn't look great but the car is solid. Needs a battery but has been started and it fires up and goes in to all gears.

This one is so perfect for you collection.  You know that every collection needs a Vauxhall and this has to be the best one to get! Appreciating useable classic and cheapest in the UK by far. Don't be the guy who said 'I remember when these were peanuts and now they are mega money' ten years from now. Reserve with only £100."

 

 

So reading between all that waffle, it's a rough, unloved old barge then.

 

We source vehicles of significant interest from all over the UK. We add a modest 10% margin on whatever we buy them in at. This is to cover our transport, advertising and labour costs to leave a small profit in it for ourselves. We do have to eat you know!

 

I've got nothing against dealers buying cars for profit but this is a barefaced lie. They paid £495 for it on eBay a fortnight ago!

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Classic-Vauxhall-Royale-1-Owner-Barn-Find-Must-be-put-back-on-road-Very-Rare-/273368611559?hash=item3fa609fae7%3Ag%3A21cAAOSwQ2JbVMYB&_nkw=vauxhall+royale&_from=R40&LH_Complete=1&rt=nc&nma=true&si=0woC5Bg7VICL05RRVfmQeV1oeqc%253D&orig_cvip=true&nordt=true&_trksid=p2047675.l2557

[bramz7]

Oh awesome I can trade in my Mercedes G Class for a rotten Royale, and pay the rest off over 4 weeks with a token deposit!

 

Said no one ever.

[sierraman]

Should say ‘don’t be the guy who spent £20,000 restoring something that will be worth less than £2,000 when finished’

 

I love these adverts where they go on like they are some sort of classic car consultant. A bit like those dickheads that used to take a millers antique guide to a car boot.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I think you've found the new PURPLE HELMET!!

[Alexg]

Jesus wept, what a load of utter tripe. I particularly like this useful part of the appraisal:

 

Drive: 6 out of 10

 

What do they expect anyone to glean from that information?

[lesapandre]

Extraordinary advert. Even if the car was ok it would put you off getting involved. Its some sort of parallel universe. 

[quicksilver]

Even the 'professional valuer' mate of Bernie and Mario would struggle to convince anyone that a Vauxhall Royale will ever be worth 25 grand. The owner of that black Viceroy at Willington reckoned he'd struggle to get more than 2k for it and it's a LOT nicer than that crusty old heap of bilge. Seller clearly has delusions of grandeur and aspires to be dealing in Porsches and Ferraris but in reality is stuck at the bottom of the ladder.

[jcr]

Jesus wept, what a load of utter tripe. I particularly like this useful part of the appraisal:

 

 

What do they expect anyone to glean from that information?

It will drive 6 times out of 10

[STUNO]

OK I would quite like .

 

 

But $249,000.00 !

 

https://www.trademe.co.nz/motors/used-cars/mercedesbenz/auction-1700859086.htm?rsqid=7056f91cf67c41899897418838061d3a

[bramz7]

https://m.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1026268

 

 

£23k for an Avantime.

[srad34]

https://m.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1026268

 

 

£23k for an Avantime.

 

What a prize moron!

[Felly Magic]

What about a tin corner estate that has had an engine fire and is fucked in the engine bay, no MOT or logbook for £4200? Using the Motorhog breakers yard photos. What a cunt, it's worth about £500 in that state

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-cortina-estate-mk5/153134655180?_trkparms=aid%3D888007%26algo%3DDISC.MBE%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D51875%26meid%3D510e03cc981541b6ac3446d2dae7bd2b%26pid%3D100009%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D2%26sd%3D173465182407%26itm%3D153134655180&_trksid=p2047675.c100009.m1982

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Talking of chancers, check out this twat:

 

£62'000 for some old 325i that was breathed on lightly by Alpenis. Woooooo.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Alpina-C2/123296064051?hash=item1cb504a233:g:nrIAAOSwsc1bJOkP

 

Herr Junkmann will spot the flaw in the gushing prose that gushed out of a cow's arse.

 

And then spot the fatal flaw in this pristine steaming turd: A Mars Bar* to any of the GGG Glosop Powerhaus crew who spot it.

 

 

*Terms and conditions apply. See reverse for details. A cash alternative is not available.

[richardthestag]

Msport rimz?

[Felly Magic]

Did Alpina not remove the BMW propeller badge and replace it with their own logo, or am I barking up the wrong tree here?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Nope. It's a more fundamental flaw in this front ended heap of shit. What happened to the E30 in late 1987? Bavarian Retro should know.

 

Oh, Alpina did not develop the CSL. That was BMW Motorsport under Martin Baumgart und Jochen Neerpasch. Get it right you fucking jumped up pretentious Daleys and your white bullshit walls.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Did Alpina not remove the BMW propeller badge and replace it with their own logo?

 

 

No they did not. Only UK Pikeys do that.

[ProgRocker]

One of the cars on my used purchase shortlist back in 1997 is up for sale at over £16k

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Superb-Early-Vauxhall-Nova-1-3-SR-Fully-Warranted-16K-Miles-From-New/223018189327?hash=item33eceb820f:g:PscAAOSwf05bIqaB

 

[busmansholiday]

https://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/Headlight-7-7-8in-with-Vorgezogenem-Chrome-Ring-New-Wartburg-311-313-Sport/392101704849?hash=item5b4b153491:g:VZwAAOSw0HhbZE5-

 

Wartburg 311 headlights. Go on have a guess...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

£940.70 + £43.94 postage

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I'm sure when I looked at that Royale it was £1295. Just looked at it again and its now £1800!!!! SHIT I WISH I'D BOUGHT IT A FEW DAYS AGO!!!!!

 

What a flippin shower. I reckon thats gonna become a permanent fixture on eBay for the next year or so at least!!!

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Nope. It's a more fundamental flaw in this front ended heap of shit. What happened to the E30 in late 1987? Bavarian Retro should know.

 

Oh, Alpina did not develop the CSL. That was BMW Motorsport under Martin Baumgart und Jochen Neerpasch. Get it right you fucking jumped up pretentious Daleys and your white bullshit walls.

 

 

Fuck me, nobody?

 

Okay. It's a metal bumper car. But it has a plastic bumper front end. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Fuck me, nobody?

 

Okay. It's a metal bumper car. But it has a plastic bumper front end.

For a moment, I thought the alloys had the wrong number of spokes....

[Supernaut]

https://www.gumtree.com/p/rover/99-rover-216-automatic-w-low-low-mileage-24k/1312059855

 

 

It's nice, but £1,100?

 

Hmm.

[nebuchenezer]

Fuck me, nobody?

 

Okay. It's a metal bumper car. But it has a plastic bumper front end. 

I should have spotted that 

 

I am intrigued by the reference to a dry sump though, probably a long range tank addition in the boot mistakenly identified.

 

62K mind, fuck me 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

One of the cars on my used purchase shortlist back in 1997 is up for sale at over £16k

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Superb-Early-Vauxhall-Nova-1-3-SR-Fully-Warranted-16K-Miles-From-New/223018189327?hash=item33eceb820f:g:PscAAOSwf05bIqaB

 

 

 

 

It's the old thing; somewhere there is a rich bloke in his late forties or early fifties, boy done good, £2'500'000 house and on 200 grand a year.

 

He had one of these new. Loved it as you did, had to sell it when the first nipper came along, regretted it.

 

Here is a once in a lifetime chance to buy it again. It's even the same colour. 

 

Who do I make this payable to mate?

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I should have spotted that 

 

I am intrigued by the reference to a dry sump though, probably a long range tank addition in the boot mistakenly identified.

 

62K mind, fuck me 

 

 

 

" It also received dry-sump lubrication and a short-ratio five-speed gearbox"

 

​No it didn't, you lying fuck. 

 

 

VERDICT: Seller is a twat.

[bramz7]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1985-Peugeot-205-XR-1200-Rallye-Sport-look-a-like-38-000-miles-Supported/232911771899?hash=item363a9f98fb:g:yIMAAOSwXSRbRfDY

 

 

What....

 

 

look a like

 

 

 

£44,495

[Supernaut]