Stop one and buy me

[eddyramrod]

There's an ice cream van advertised locally to me, and I'm thinking about it. I may very soon be able to afford it, but I've never run my own business and it does terrify me somewhat. In fact, somewhat +VAT at Gordon Brown's preferred rate!* So, does anyone here have experience of running such a thing, recently if possible?

 

What's really enticing about this is the van itself. It's a Bedford CF, 1979...

 

*500%, legend has it...

[Jim Bell]

Can I have a 99 with monkeys blood please?

[Cheggers]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glasgow_Ice_Cream_Wars

 

[CortinaDave]

My advice - don't do it.

 

I used to work on a van in '96 - 97 before I got into radio. The glory days of the ice cream vans were gone even then, and custom wasn't exactly brisk. We could spend a good few hours out round the streets and be lucky to make £20 before petrol. Most who come out only want fags on which the mark up is pennies, and the little shits who want 100 flumps which you then have to count out to make - a quid ( minus tax and what you paid for them in the cash and carry)

 

There is a decent mark up to be made on the Ice Cream but we found just not enough of it actually sold. Plus you can't just buy a van and start up - if there's another guy already working that round its seen as very bad form for anyone to just barge in and can get very nasty (see the Glasgow Ice Cream wars - there was a great film made in the 80s about this called comfort and joy which also has loads of chod in it). You tend to have to "buy" a round along with the van.

 

Don't get me wrong, on a hot summers day you can make decent coin, but 99% of the time its a fairly miserable gig. The big plus for me back in the day ( I was 17-18) was all the hot young mums in low tops who would come out to buy sweets for their kids on a warm day - and you were higher up than them in the van

[eddyramrod]

Yeah, that Glasgow business is one of the things filling up my Trepidation Bucket......

 

There does appear to be a round associated with the van, and the seller, who claims to be retiring for health reasons, is offering support and advice, though not having met or spoken with him yet, I have no idea what form that will take. He seems to want to sell the entire business, as opposed to just a 34-year-old van.

[CortinaDave]

Think this van needs a rebrand...

 

[cort16]

If you got a van you'd be better doing events in it. Car shows, private hire for parties etc. You're less likely to get a horses head thrown through your front window and when you do go you'll have a captive audience rather than trawling the streets counting flumps.

 

I bet there's decent money in doing private events where you turn up and give little shits ice cream at a birthday party for a fixed fee etc. I bought a pop corn machine (one of the big mobile ones) ages ago with the plan to rent it out. You can get £40-50 a day for renting it out to people who want to have parties etc all you have to do is drop it off and pick it up. It turned out I couldn't be arsed and it's still sitting in my lockup.

[eddyramrod]

Events did cross my mind, or what passes for it these days. I do like the idea of a relatively captive audience. I've wandered around a showfield many times succumbing to the temptation of a soft-whipped 99. Also, I'm thinking a regular pitch outside one of the many tourist attractions in this area might be a good idea. I won't know more about what exactly is on offer until I get to speak to the seller.

[Spiny Norman]

Yeah, that Glasgow business is one of the things filling up my Trepidation Bucket......

 

Most of the ice cream vans round here now make their money from selling something other than ice cream and Curly Wurlies ...

"Deals on wheels" ....

[cobblers]

+1, the bloke who ran the ice cream van that used to park at my school always seemed to be racking up in good clothes for someone who sold cans of cola with hebrew writing on them and stale flying saucers to teenagers for a living.

Years later, I did a camper for a bloke who turns out to be his brother and "business partner" and it turns out they're both on the grow, selling bulk to some chinese blokes who drive up from london and bits on the side out of the van, which they use along with a "window cleaning" business to hide the money.

[Junkman]

Aside from what doesn't trigger a war in Glasgow has yet to be invented, I can see easier ways of making a living than running an I scream van.

I would not do it. I would buy the thing, use it this Summer for my and the kids in the 'hood's pleasure, then banger race it.

 

Alternatively, get a license, turn it into a mobile cocktail bar and park it next to one of those fuggin playgrounds. The parents will love you.

And the children will love you too, since the parents spend a lot more time at the playground all of a sudden.

[vulgalour]

I've had this business idea to get an ice cream van that in the colder months converts into a baked potato and curry van and does the same rounds as in the summer when selling ice cream. It's one of those ideas that will stay just that, but I love the idea of grown ups getting all excited because the curry and potato van was playing it's tune and they'd all come running out while their kids complained about it.

[Shep Shepherd]

^

I'd like to see some enterprising curry house use an ice cream van to sell their wares and do deliveries, preferably one which has been customised like a subcontinental truck or bus and plays Banghra and Bollywood music instead of the traditional chimes - I'd certainly stop it and buy one

[Micrashed]

A curry & chip van would actually go down a storm here.

 

Meanwhile down the M65...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-la ... e-18393597

[Bren]

An old work colleague of mine got involved in the ice cream business for a short while.

 

However, he got out very quickly, due to the competition, the threats, and the baseball bats.

 

And this was'nt Glasgow - it was fucking Runcorn.

[Spiny Norman]

I think it's one of those industries like tanning salons and taxi firms where the legit operator is in a tiny minority, most of them seem to be run by crims as money laundering outfits.

There was a tanning salon down the road from here that was always empty yet frequently had the owner's Lamborghini Gallardo parked outside.....

[RedSparrow]

True, in the town where I used to live the 2 main rival operators had been in and out of prison and had other questionable business.

However, one smaller operator makes (or at least used to make) a killing by getting deals with secondary schools to go to playgrounds at lunch and sell to the kids. The one at my school must've made £100 a day. I bet it probably doesn't happen now though because of healthy eating malarkey, they won't let you in unless you're selling fucking tofu. Which no-one wants.

[binboy]

Someone I used to work with a couple of years ago left work and bought a old Transit ice cream van. He used to come round the industrial estate bragging that he had made a months wages in a hot weekend. He must be doing ok out of it as he has now got two vans and just bought a potato van. He does other things in the winter like repairing cars as he has now also got a big unit. Id give it a go as you cannot beat working for yourself, I have been doing it for a year in March and its the best thing I ever did. Ok I only make a bit more money than I used to working for a company but its so good being your own boss. You could do some other work in the winter.

[brickwall]

Can I have a 99 with monkeys blood please?

 

 

Monkeys Blood. Haven't heard that in a wee while. I'll have one too.

[eddyramrod]

You could do some other work in the winter.

 

I could do this "other work" all year! My breadvan job is mornings, I'm home by 11 every day and I'm damn sure I wouldn't be able to sell many ice creams before the schools kick out.

 

I do worry about the organised crime/new face on the block sort of aspect. I'm the kind of bloke who never goes looking to get his head kicked in, you know? If there's a way to make that not happen, I'll grab it. Reading some of these responses, letting the van pass me by might be the way in this instance. However, as mentioned, I haven't spoken to the seller yet (he hasn't responded to my Facebook message) so it could all be sweetness and light. I just don't know.

[garbaldy]

Did i read you correct that the guy has a round with the van? if so disregard all the posts with doom and gloom

 

Ive a mate with an ice cream buisness, his parents started with one trailer and since he took it over he now has two trailers four vans and now two burger trailers and a donut trailer,

oh and if you do go for it one thing ive known sole traders to do is open one buisness account and one private and they order half the stock on each. yes its probably a bit dodgy or even illegal but its rife throughout the trade aparently

[Albert Ross]

First thing... I have a neighbour who works for an Ice Cream wholesaler. She reports some weekends of absolute running around like a cunt trying to satisfy penny pinching scrotes who are after more discount than they should have, to other times when it's pissed it down for so long, that nothing is selling..... and they have to lob FROZEN stock out as part of regular rotation exercises.

Other things like the fact it's a semi-obsolete vehicle. Balljoints? We all know the fun you had with the Granny.... well CF1 balljoints are out there, as NOS parts or recent remakes, which are not as good quality wise. It'll be the Blitz diesel if it's an oil burner, or a Perkins 4.108.... God help you if it's the latter. Watch for cooling issues, keep a spare radiator, water pump, hoses etc in easy reach. PTO drives can be temperamental.... Watch for maggots breeding in the machine mechanisms too. Get it cleaned out weekly at the very least. Any period of standing can bring musty smells.... scrupulous cleaning routines are needed. All in all, the're a bit of a nightmare. It's not all "staring down the skimpy tops of 17 year olds" and reading jazz mags while waiting for a bite. Mind, you could have fun with the chimes machine. In these days of Mp3 payers, you could have Motorhead, or Spike Jones...... one of my local ones has "Liberty Bell" (Python theme tune) and another is the "Harry Lime Theme". Quality chimes. And we all know that when one hears the chimes, this means they have no ice-cream left.

[TimothyClaypole]

Reminds me of Mr Rossi from Barnsley, lottery winner jailed for smuggling cigs... should have stuck with the ice cream.

[eddyramrod]

There's one over-riding factor against this prospect. Mrs R. She sees it as a total non-starter. Oh well, thanks guys for the comments, but it looks like Autoshite Whippy is off the menu. Shame that, we could have had (Oldsmobile) Rocket lollies and pink'n'white (Saab) 99s!

[Tayne]

I'll just leave this here.

 

CF by Tayne, on Flickr

[garbaldy]

Remember this one

 

[Cavcraft]

I bet people are queuing up to buy ice cream vans, all thinking they're going to get rich quickly. It seems a good way to throw all your cash at a white elephant as you're never going to step on anyone else's toes and get away with it.

Also, iirc, if you go to events etc you pay them for the privilege, a few years back this was into the hundreds I seem to recall.

[FredTransit]

I am the proud owner of a Mk1 ice cream van and therefore the official autoshite ice cream seller. You buy that CF and its you and me outside. Conprendez?

[Albert Ross]

I'll hold your coats. Oh, and can I have a Screwball?

[eddyramrod]

I am the proud owner of a Mk1 ice cream van and therefore the official autoshite ice cream seller. You buy that CF and its you and me outside. Conprendez?

 

My name's Ted and I drive a baker's van, so you must therefore be Ernie... and we all know what happened there!

 

OK, as previously mentioned, I'm unlikely to proceed. Mrs R is less than enthusiastic. However today I did go and have a look, and met the seller. It is, as someone suspected, a Morrison body. It's also a 1.8 petrol slant-four which is a major plus. The metalwork is a little scabby, but for a vehicle still in work at this grand age, that's forgivable. All stock is included along with some spares, a Haynes, two chest freezers and a contact list. It even comes with a caravan cover which apparently fits very well! Seems because it's a "scoop" van rather than a "whippy" it's working as a "premium" outlet, so there's no direct competition.

Anyway, I don't think it's on, but thanks for all the advice and entertainment, everyone.