You know you're a true 'Shiter when:

[MrDuke]

Inspired by a thread on the blue forum. As per the title, really.

 

1. You slam on the brakes with a shout of "Wow!" because you're driving past... a beige Maestro.

 

2. You have never owned a car without at least one rusty panel.

 

3. You openly boast about the amount of brown vinyl in your interior.

 

4. You see an early Golf/Polo and immediately visualise re-fitting standard springs and scraping off all the stickers.

 

5. You see Italian cars as a 'challenge' rather than a 'liability'.

[eddyramrod]

When driving in the sunshine, you're not distracted by short skirts and low-cut tops, but a flash of a chrome bumper draws your eye immediately!

[Guest]

6. You buy an Isuzu Piazza because it's an interesting car rather than wanting to axle rape it for your NOT AE86 MARK 2 EZZY RALLY WEAPON GWNDAF EVANS L@@K CHEVETTE MANTA LOL project.

 

7. You regard Hillman Hunters as cherished classics and walk straight past the Porsches and XK120 Jaguars to look at one at a car show, much to the chagrin of their polo neck wearing, flat cap toting tossbag owners.

 

8. You'd rather have a Datsun 280ZX over a replica Ferrari 250GTO. Even it was a real 250GTO. Unless it had golden velour seats and a slushbox. No, you'd still rather have the 280ZX.

 

9. Locking wheelnut keys are always on hand to fix any and every problem that occurs in your shiteing lifestyle.

 

10. D701 SWL has one life and is living it.

[Pete-M]

People tell you they've got a new Audi and you're not even slightly impressed, but if they mention a '78 Cressida....

[morris_ital_lover]

When you go to pap some shite to put on here people think that you are either a) mad as a fish think you are up to something as nobody would take a picture of their Talbot Samba and not their overpolished MG B.

 

Your interest in a car is directly proportional to the number of optional extras left off the car.

[Negative Creep]

The sentence "holy crap, that looks utterly miserable" sparks your interest

[e287yba]

People tell you they've got a new Audi and you're not even slightly impressed, but if they mention a '78 Cressida....

 

Talking of Cressidas... You're reluctantly watching the Wankers' Lantern (you've got to make an effort to be sociable with the family after all, when all is said and done - but if it's not The Professionals/Sweeney or a DVD of my choice flickering on the Haunted Fishtank I'd rather stick pins in my eyes inbetween shoving shards of broken glass up my urethra to be blatantly honest) when there's an Ad Break - and one of the Ads is for an O2 Bolt-On and includes two drive-bies of a Cressida (I think ) plus shots from inside the car driving past a contrived O2 shoppe on ye olde insustrial estatee type placee.... Nowt to do with the service provider, rather the sight of a very nice looking rare-in-its-day car in an ordinary-looking place .

 

An alternative, for me, is the old(er) Ad for some brand of Jeans that featured young adults driving off in a Triumph 2000. Think it's the music and apparent 'atmosphere' (deep dark blue sky, good lighting effects) plus an old british car make this one work for me, rather than the product .

[vulgalour]

17 (I think). You don't take your cars too seriously.

18. You make a beeline not for the owner with the E-type, but for the guy with an Austin A40 Somerset that's loved (and surprisingly photogenic), but has probably seen better days. As it happens, he was a top bloke.

19. Steam powered cars are exciting.

 

That Somerset I mentioned.

 

 

Steam-powered 1930s Franklin, truly the most beautiful car I've ever seen in the tin.

 

In fact, I'm just going to post some pics of this for you all, there was some lovely, genuinely interesting things to be seen at that show.

[Cavcraft]

When financed up to the maximum wankers at work in new 'flash' cars tell you it's time you got a new/er car so you make it your mission to buy something even older and more horrible looking.

 

When your neighbour/s bubble you to the council for having a tax disc a week out of date so you end up parking 15 fully legit cars outside just to piss them off.

[nigel bickle]

Billy -i have done EXACTLY that- several times!

[sporty-shite]

When someone looks at your 15 year old car, and comments on it's age, your wife replies:

 

"That's new, for him"

[barefoot]

When driving in the sunshine, you're not distracted by short skirts and low-cut tops, but a flash of a chrome bumper draws your eye immediately!

 

I'm not entirely convinced by this one.

[cort16]

When you visit a scrapyard and there's a car in there the same as yours but it's in better condition.

[Cavcraft]

When someone looks at your 15 year old car, and comments on it's age, your wife replies:

 

"That's new, for him"

 

Had that a few times, Chris. I also like it when people say 'that's posh for you' when you turn up in a ten year old car that's all one colour and has been washed. Only in shite terms can you feel like a millionaire because you have a 1999 Peugeot 406!

[Pete-M]

The lads in work don't understand my choices in cars. They sort of 'get' the Jag but everything else just confuses the he'll out of them. They can't grasp why I handed back my new company Å koda so I could go to work in an SD1 instead.

 

Not many people in our place get company cars, it's something they all fight over so using a multitude of old chod in preference to a new car means I'm viewed with suspicion.

 

The landlord, however, only really talks to me. He drives a Honda Acty pick up as his daily. He's got a Corniche convertible, Testarossa, old Land Rovers, a collection of Fodens and is restoring an E-type. He loves the 604.

[Justin Case]

21. You take your car to a show and no-one will admit that they used to own one like yours.

 

22. You never set out on a journey of any length before checking that your toolkit contains a good selection of string.

[messerschmitt owner]

you know you're a true 'shiter' when you realise three of your vehicles have appeared in the Ebay Tat thread just before you bought them!

 

Strange, but true!

[Cavcraft]

When you wish your temperature and fuel gauges were the other way round.

[dollywobbler]

When you buy a ten year old car, with an iffy gearbox, iffy brakes and 176k on the clock and your family all go "wow, that's a bit new for you! How posh!"

 

When you drive a Chevette and Astra Mk2 16v back to back and prefer the Chevette. (on the road I must admit. On a track, I'd take the Astra.)

[whiskeyonesix]

.... you leave a dead rotting range-rover in your flats communal car-park for THREE YEARS just because " I might get around to welding it up one day.." and its a source of useful parts for the Discovery you may buy. at some point. in the next year or so.

 

In truth its there just to piss the neighbours off, you know it, and deep in their miserable little hearts, they know it too...

[DSdriver]

You know you're a Citroen Shiter when:

 

1. You slam on the brakes with a shout of "Sacre bleu!" because you're driving past... a beige Renault.

 

2. You have owned a car with at least one different coloured panel.

 

3. You openly boast about the amount of sun faded jersey nylon in your interior.

 

4. You see an early Pug 205 and immediately visualise re-fitting standard springs and scraping off all the stickers.

 

5. You see hydraulic suspension cars as a 'challenge' rather than a 'liability'.

 

efa

[HillmanImp]

You have more cars than you know what to do with.

[meggersdog]

The MOT tester tells you he's not testing your car next year.

[Shep Shepherd]

Your car is the oldest in your work's car park by at least five years

[Lord Sterling]

You've paid alot more than its actually worth to put it back on the road.

 

You go out of your way, risking life and limb to get a set of original-spec wheel trims from a car piled 3 cars high in the scrappy.

 

You go out shite spotting despite a damaged knee when you should be getting yourself to the hospital.

 

You travel up and down the country, recruiting mates of yours, spending hundreds of pounds to recover a £200 motor.

[Negative Creep]

Your car is the oldest in your work's car park by at least five years

 

 

I have the oldest, although there is a beautifully miserable F reg BX that occasionally turns up. Don't think the owner works in the same place though

[sporty-shite]

The MOT tester tells you he's not testing your car next year.

 

In my case,he just looks at me with a slightly concerned face and asks, "What the fuck have you bought this time?"

[TimothyClaypole]

When you visit a scrapyard and there's a car in there the same as yours but it's in better condition.

 

This definately.

 

I weighed some scrap in a few weeks ago and the surround of the area you dump the stuff is made from flattened cars and all were better/newer than my Astra.

[michael t]

when your a teenager, like myself, and are fully expected to love modern day motors and there fancy windscreen wiper sensors and automatic parking etc.... but instead you love B.L tat and chicken turd green Mk1 fiestas

[Shep Shepherd]

Your car is the oldest in your work's car park by at least five years

 

 

I have the oldest, although there is a beautifully miserable F reg BX that occasionally turns up. Don't think the owner works in the same place though

 

I'm quite proud of the fact that The Volvo is the oldest car in my company's car park apart from the terminally-foxed 1989 Sierra 2.3D GL which my department use a hack