Bad design bloopers

[Barry Cade]

Lancia Integrale. The easiest way to change the alternator involves removing the o/s/f strut, header tank and a multitude of other bits.

 

 

Mk.2 MR2 involves the removal of the driveshaft.

GTV

 

Alfa GTV involves removing the intire injection system and inlet manifold, or dropping the front subframe/driveshaft. Did one a few weeks back, 5 bloody hours to change an alternator. I went in from the top

[CreepingJesus]

A local taxi firm had two early FWD Vitos; one the hose-down 'Traveliner' spec, the other the luxo V-class spec. Both had clunks, staggering brake wear and atrocious fuel economy. M-B couldn't answer the first two points, and didn't give a monkey's about the third.

Also, I've said it before and I'll probly say it again: Mk1/2 Mondeo under bonnet access. Particularly on 2L Zetecs with aircon, and the V6's. Almost anything beyond regular servicing is a total pain in the posterior, and even at that, you'll need to have 4' long wafer thin triple jointed arms, with sentient fingers to get some of the oil filters off.

And I remembered a couple on the V70 ( Volvo not perfect shocker...); for a car hewn from granite and iron, why do the tailgate trim clips always fail? Don't know if it's the case on S's and C's, but it's mildly annoying on the V.

Far worse is the affliction of all x70's - the front anti-roll bar bushes. Well not just the bushes; the brackets. You can see the two bolts which hold each bracket, you can even get a spanner on them. But you cannot undo them without dropping the front subframe, 'cos the bottom of the inner wing's too close to the bolt heads... Just as well my front subframe rear bushes need doing too. Two birds, one stone etc.

[cms206]

Out of interest are we talking about the old FWD Vito or the new RWD one?

 

RWD in my case.

 

 

Didn't know the Vito came RWD; what I do know is that I'd sooner drive our LDV Convoy with a de-turbo'd Ford 2.5TDi in it and holes in the floor as it's a much more comfortable and inviting experience and build quality is far higher.

 

Our three look like this...

 

DJ International - SJ59 XYL by cms206, on Flickr

[j-j]

Clear indicator lenses don't bother me. Indicators fitted in the middle of the headlight are a different thing entirely..........

+1

 

VW have been up to that for ages and don't look like they're changing for now either

 

Also, those newish Audi saloons with the really bright LED back lights BUT normal bulbs for the indicator so that you can only spot the signalling light if you're within 20 feet. How does that kind of spazzy design make it to the final cut at all? surely lights are all 'type rated' or other.

[406V6]

MG Metro fuel tank. I bought a new one in 1984. Some t@sser designer changed the design of the fuel tank to save money by removing the internal baffles. With the result that fuel sloshed around when driving and slurped out the breather on to the bodywork. Fuel dripping out of a car isn't a good idea. Some people crashed when the fuel got on the tyres. Fortunately I didn’t. Escaped fuel marked my paint and caused the decals to peel off near the fuel filler door. They developed a sort-of fix by fitting a huge breather pipe that went right up inside the B pillar.

 

Peugeot 407 glove box. During the design transition to rhd it manages to have not even enough space inside for a pair of gloves

[willswitchengage]

Our three look like this...

 

Yargh, that's the RWD one - has iffy torsion beam semi-independent suspension too. I guess part of the Vito's problem in that unlike LDV etc which were intended to be solely hose-down thrashmobiles, Merc tried to make a van and luxury MPV on the same platform - something that was always going to end in tears.

 

More phails - any vehicle that now requires a "software update" on its annual service.

[Morgan84]

Some Citroen C3 1.4 Petrol engines have a funny type of guard around the sump plug making a oil change a real messy pain in the backside. Another messy one is a Mondeo 2.0/2.2 TD oil filter change - have a umbrella handy !

[rml2345]

Using torx headed bolts to bolt the seats in on the French built Yaris. The Japanese used proper bolts so why change it?

Actually, using torx headed bolts for anything is a fail...

[cobblers]

I don't mind torx bolts since they are about 100 times less likely to round off than allen head bolts of the same size.

Them "spline" bolts used to hold VW driveshafts on are a ballache, but do seem to resist rounding fairly well. Nightmare to get the spline bit into the end of the bolt when they've been on the vehicle for a while, even the slightest bit of grot means you have to hammer the bastard in, then once the bolt is removed you've got to spend about 5 minutes throwing the thing at the garage floor until you separate the two. Rinse and repeat 11 more times per vehicle.

[Cavcraft]

PSA oil filler caps (with the pipes) on that refuse to budge until you almost give up trying, then let go dead easily and you smash your hand on the bonnet.

 

Any saloon car that doesn't have a rear wiper. I think Ford fitted them to the Escort saloon (clever bit of sales spiel) after the Orion name was dropped and I don't know why more manafacturers don't follow suit.

[Volksy]

PSA oil filler caps (with the pipes) on that refuse to budge until you almost give up trying, then let go dead easily and you smash your hand on the bonnet.

 

+1

[Negative Creep]

PSA oil filler caps (with the pipes) on that refuse to budge until you almost give up trying, then let go dead easily and you smash your hand on the bonnet.

 

Any saloon car that doesn't have a rear wiper. I think Ford fitted them to the Escort saloon (clever bit of sales spiel) after the Orion name was dropped and I don't know why more manafacturers don't follow suit.

 

 

A lack of rear wiper has never bothered me at all

[AnthonyG]

 

Chevrolet Spark - vile courtesy car experience.

NO CLOCK!!! Apparently it's reserved for higher spec models.

 

 

For 2012, that is spectacularly crappy. Are you sure it just wasn't on some stupid on screen menu somewhere? Maybe it didn't have a 'screen' though .

[AnthonyG]

The MGF 'cooling' system.

 

Maestro/Montego/Mondeo Mk1&2 'instacrack' bumpers.

 

The facelifted Marina dashboard with the radio directed away from the driver, almost an opposite of the later Sierra/GM 'angled' dashboards 'Oh well the passenger can always change the station'.

 

Also on all Marinas I think, the LHD only wiper set-up for a car where RHD markets were always going to account for 80 to 90% of sales.

 

I though collected rainwater then falling in the boot on opening was a specific Mondeo Mk4 fault, from reading this thread it seems to be a common failure of a lot of modern vehicles.

 

More of a marketing thing this: BMW/Audi 'upgrade' marketing campaigns where you get the MSport or SLine spec for free. So that's rock hard seats and even bloody harder suspension all round then? There's a lot of work for the UK's back specialists coming down the line in a decade or so!

[e287yba]

The Maestro/Montego body-coloured placcy bumpers was a first in that they were painted on the car. Like so many good-in-principle BMC/BL/ARG ideas, it wasn't quite fully developed... (What's Ford's excuse for the Mondeo bumpers, which seem even more brittle???)

 

And the Marina LHD wiper pattern... It's a bit like choosing whether to be executed in the gas chamber or the electric chair, in that there were great swathes of the screen left unwiped whether LHD or RHD pattern was utilised. I suspect that the LHD pattern was judged less-unsafe (ahem) in the UK in terms of being able to see what's occurin' at the offside front corner of the car when the screen is mucky and the sun is low .

 

 

Anyone mentioned the plastic diffusers inside Mondeo Mk 1 & 2 headlights, which turn yellow on exposure to UV and cause the car to fail its MoT after a decade or so?

 

 

Bloopers, all of 'em.

[AnthonyG]

The Maestro/Montego body-coloured placcy bumpers was a first in that they were painted on the car. Like so many good-in-principle BMC/BL/ARG ideas, it wasn't quite fully developed...

 

Giving that they still needed to paint the areas behind the bumpers, what was the reasoning - a better match perhaps?

 

PS was the bumper factory 'Holden Hydroman' of Bromyard in Herefordshire? Used to see loads in racks being loaded onto lorries there.

[Ross_K]

Current Peugeot Partner/Citroen Berlingo: wipers controlled by the BSI.

 

In a normal car or van you can switch off the ignition, go away, come back, turn on the ignition and the wipers will carry on where you left off.

 

Not a Partner or Berlingo. No, you come back to your van in the rain and you have to put the wiper stalk back to 'off' and then back to where you were before. It fucks me off big time anyway - I'd hate to be doing drops all day long in the thing.

[The Moog]

X300 boot locks. Rust up due to lack of use (everyone uses electric boot release) then when battery dies you cant get into the boot. And said battery is in the boot. Cue drilling a whole in the boot to get in.

[Shep Shepherd]

Pre-1991 Volvo 700 Series instrument panels (1991 being the year in which the 700 got the recently-introduced 900's dashboard and instruments), which are made of pure fail and are now very hard to find in decent condition secondhand; The Volvo is on its third in my ownership, and even that doesn't work properly all of the time

[dollywobbler]

The Marina wiper thing is very odd. They did use RHD pattern at the very start, then almost immediately banned it. On the Hillman Hunter, it changed so it was always 'wrong' whichever side the driver sat. The thinking was obviously very different on such matters at the time.

[HMC]

Rover KV6- quad cam v6 with a variable lengh intake system. great concept, sadly let down by detail design such as a crack prone plastic thermostat housing- as if a lump from the k family needed any more encouragement to blow its head gasket(s)

[Alpus]

Mk1 Clio's clip, which holds in the bulb for the head light.This bulb extremely difficult to change as the clip is not exactly that logical to place.

[e287yba]

The Maestro/Montego body-coloured placcy bumpers was a first in that they were painted on the car. Like so many good-in-principle BMC/BL/ARG ideas, it wasn't quite fully developed...

 

Giving that they still needed to paint the areas behind the bumpers, what was the reasoning - a better match perhaps?

 

PS was the bumper factory 'Holden Hydroman' of Bromyard in Herefordshire? Used to see loads in racks being loaded onto lorries there.

 

A very good point about the lack of paint behind the bumpers (the rear end especially rotted for fun behind the bumper) - and (oh, the ironing!) the paint baking process made the damn bumpers brittle. A good idea, but... Looked good though, as you say, the paint matched very well "out of the box" .

 

I don't know who made the bumpers, off the top of my head - but there was a shortage in the early Maestro days that led to stockpiling of bumperless cars for a short while .

[e287yba]

The Marina wiper thing is very odd. They did use RHD pattern at the very start, then almost immediately banned it. On the Hillman Hunter, it changed so it was always 'wrong' whichever side the driver sat. The thinking was obviously very different on such matters at the time.

 

The Marina wiper thing... Don't forget that the very early ones with the RHD pattern had 'odd' wiper arms that were angled such that the blades parked about a third of the way up the screen (the press pack pics didn't have these particular wiper arms despite the RHD pattern). They cleared the screen near to the A-pillar - like many 80s cars, anyway, and quite unlike the 'straight' arms - but they left the view of the the bonnet and immediate road ahead mucky, as well as looking, well, ODD.

 

You use the word 'banned' - for some reason, that rings a bell; by this, I mean, they were forced to use the LHD pattern we all know and love for safety reasons, I am sure . I'm also sure someone will correct me if I'm barking up the wrong tree ...

[STUNO]

 

Chevrolet Spark - vile courtesy car experience.

NO CLOCK!!! Apparently it's reserved for higher spec models.

 

 

For 2012, that is spectacularly crappy. Are you sure it just wasn't on some stupid on screen menu somewhere? Maybe it didn't have a 'screen' though .

 

YES crappy. But do courtesy cars have an 'in car entertainment system' as most of them have a clock. Except that the last 12 users tried to reset it and now it wont go at all

[Cavcraft]

Maestro bumpers weren't made by OP (aka Plastic Omnium) in Telford were they? They certainly made other later Rover bumpers and grilles.

[R9UKE]

I was that baffled by such a feature being left out that I dove into the owners manual. It's supposed to be in the little digital screen in front of the driver that gives mileage and the fuel gauge. Mine just had a blank space where the clock should be, pressed all buttons, nothing, and the handbook said "Clock - depending on version". Yet they give you a light to tell you the passenger airbag is on. Thanks a lot

[Pete-M]

X300 boot locks. Rust up due to lack of use (everyone uses electric boot release) then when battery dies you cant get into the boot. And said battery is in the boot. Cue drilling a whole in the boot to get in.

 

This is yet another one of those 'basic maintenance' things that never fails to amuse me. Twice a year I lube all the locks and hinges on my cars. It's one of the first things I do to everything I buy. Quick squirt of WD40 or similar to shift all the shit that has accumulated over the years, work the locks a few times with the key, quick blast with a suitable grease type stuff - Å koda supply my work with little cans of spray grease for locks and hinges- work key a few times in lock, wipe any grease from key and job done. Same with all the hinges, bonnet catch etc. Don't do it to the ignition switch.

 

The boot lock on my XJ works perfectly.

 

The little button on the boot lid only works when it feels like, but that is normal for one of these...

[Pete-M]

Å koda Octavia rear bumpers. What are most Octavias used as? Taxis. What don't most taxis get? Washed.

 

This invariably leads to the offside rear wheelarch and bumper being caked in road shit and a layer of sticky, horrible diesel spillage residue. Å koda obviously didn't think this through as if you look at the edge of the bumper below the fuel flap will be curling away from the bodywork leaving a little lump of bumper sticking out that looks crap and can't be made to go back to it's original shape.

 

Crap fault, I know, but next time you're in an Octavia taxi you'll see it. They're all like that after a year of taxi drivers spilling diesel down the sides of 'em.

 

Petrol ones don't suffer from this, but hOw often do you see a petrol Octavia cab?

[scaryoldcortina]

^ Petrol ones suffer from my dad backing it into a bollard though, cracking the bumper below the tailgate and giving both sides the same bent mess as the taxis.