Autoshite Quote of the Year

[hairymel]

from the same thread :-

 

on autoshite

not just Piston Heads for poor people.

 

 

 

[ashmicro]

And fuck Pistonheads - it's full of VW Golf-driving Herberts pretending they know about cars.

[vulgalour]

Because we all love a bit of innuendo...

 

keep searching, when you do find a ready source of cheap Bristols, do share

[Craig the Princess]

Guess if you're pottering about going house-to-house and carrying a butcher's shop with you, the mpg will suffer a bit.

[catsinthewelder]

Put a shopping list on the doors or fit neons/bodykits/stupid spoilers/rocket launcher exhausts/17" chrome alloys and I'll tip up outside your house at 3.00am one Sunday and modify your car with a baseball bat and several cans of Nitromors.

[Volksy]

Barrett wrote:

 

That one's low miles and a decent colour, I say go for it. Take it from me man, I'm an EXPERT in buying great cars.

[Wilko220]

In response to a search for a decent 7-seater...

 

Buy my Bluebird and put the ugliest two kids in the boot

 

 

.

[DSdriver]

He may be new here but with stuff like this he is going to fit in fine:

 

One lady owner = Never washed, never serviced, bald tyres because they're never checked, covered in parking dints as its spent 80% of its life "at the shops " and full of

junk as its never cleaned out.........or am I just going on my own wifes car

By Tag26

[hauserplenty]

Re: Posh shite

 

Postby Breadvan72 » Fri Sep 07, 2012 9:01 am

Honest, Mr Regan, he just told me there'd be a Monkey in it for me if I'd be the wheelman on a blag up West, but he never told me there'd be shootahs...

Dude...Wot's that in English--urrr...I mean, American??

Just while we are translating...

[Albert Ross]

Honestly Officer, I was offered £500 to drive a car for a Gentleman's agreement in Kensington, but the Gentleman concerned had failed to mention we would be going for pheasant later.

[hauserplenty]

^ Thank you for that, sir...

--and then the Officer said:

"Yeew inna heap-o'trouble-boooahy..."

[M'coli]

Grand Espace V6. Is there a shiter way to achieve 16 MPG?

[Morgan84]

Re: Shite deal-breaking selling points

by The Reverend Bluejeans » Tue Sep 11, 2012 7:48 pm

 

"I know what these are worth"

 

Good for you arsehole.

[Formula Autos]

Let's ignore other websites for they are the false prophets! Autoshite is the true Messiah.

 

It's not the Messiah, it's a very naughty website.

[vulgalour]

Surely with that level of stupidity you would die long before from trying to gargle chainsaws or something?

[whitevanman]

this one from the tat thread

 

 

 

*Anyone else wondering why someone would hand over seven large and ask for a picture of a one legged Red Indian shoving a beer keg up a small horse's arse and a drug induced alsation peering between two skis?

[HillmanImp]

Being such a miserable shite, its not often I laugh out loud but this did make me do a LOL and also a small unexpected fart:

 

Its got a mega cheap ass CD player with SD card reader in, so hopefully i will be able to take the card out my digicam and have all my photos played to me in dolby 3.1.

[Cavcraft]

Mr Lobster:

 

'Hey I've been to the zoo today, the otters did look pretty pleased with themselves tbh.

 

The smug bastards.'

[mk1_4dr]

Mr Lobster:

 

'Hey I've been to the zoo today, the otters did look pretty pleased with themselves tbh.

 

The smug bastards.'

 

This made me laugh enough to consider quoting it too...

[trigger]

This tickled me.

 

Welcome along Haverstock.

 

 

I was theeere maaaan!

[sporty-shite]

It's a singular experience driving home in a borrowed Maestro while wearing leather trousers.

 

[Cheggers]

Another Cavette gem...

 

"Have you tried putting some jam on your shoes and inviting your trousers down for tea?"

[worldofceri]

For less than a grand you can buy a machine capable of transporting you across Europe in comfort at 70mph! You know what a victorian would say about that? He'd say "HOLY FUCKING SHIT".

 

lol

[Guest]

I think gyl's 'punt in the cunt' and 'tin children' were worthy of quotation too.

[DSdriver]

Hauserplenty has got off to a good start:

... Good thing I had a Haynes manual. It was useless. But so was the car. Finally got it running, then realized I was a laughingstock for driving it. So I did the best thing I could think of--I sold it to a friend....

[DSdriver]

Hauserplenty has got off to a good start:

... Good thing I had a Haynes manual. It was useless. But so was the car. Finally got it running, then realized I was a laughingstock for driving it. So I did the best thing I could think of--I sold it to a friend....

[Cavcraft]

Cobblers with:

'And yeah the only thing pre 73 on that mini is the owners IQ.'

[Cavcraft]

Cobblers with:

'And yeah the only thing pre 73 on that mini is the owners IQ.'

[mouseflakes]

Junkman on BX and 405 estates...

They don't rust, so you have to put up with them for ages.

 

I used to feel this way about my R12. I now feel the same about my Saxo dizzler.

[mouseflakes]

Junkman on BX and 405 estates...

They don't rust, so you have to put up with them for ages.

 

I used to feel this way about my R12. I now feel the same about my Saxo dizzler.