Autoshite Quote of the Year

[pompei]

Mattblack:-

 

Ah, a Rover P4 outside a church. It's as English as eating a vindaloo and drinking Polish beer while watching a Chinese telly.

[pompei]

Mattblack:-

 

Ah, a Rover P4 outside a church. It's as English as eating a vindaloo and drinking Polish beer while watching a Chinese telly.

[vulgalour]

I wanted to see Gary Gilmour riding a Royal Enfield Bullet whilst he sang 'I've Got a Brand New Combine Harvester' in B minor as he tried to set the world record for jumping over seventeen Singer Vogues. But you can't have everything.

[vulgalour]

I wanted to see Gary Gilmour riding a Royal Enfield Bullet whilst he sang 'I've Got a Brand New Combine Harvester' in B minor as he tried to set the world record for jumping over seventeen Singer Vogues. But you can't have everything.

[vulgalour]

We don't buy stuff because we NEED to [in most cases] we buy it because it's our civil duty to do so. We are the motoring equivalent of the Salvation Army.

[quicksilver]

Just had a good chuckle at this excellent little bit of advice

You should have removed the valves from their tyres and stuck them to the driver's door handle with dogshit. Bet they wouldn't park there again.

[Cavcraft]

Des:

'It is, for some strange reason a gas guzzling relic from the 60's that I've only advertised on a minority forum of mostly potless wierdos has yet to be snapped up.'

[rml2345]

Completely out of context, but this made me chortle...

 

That's an air filter in his pocket, he's not pleased to see you

[sporty-shite]

I once kissed The Doctor. He gave a little bit of tongue but refused to go any further, I left confused and lonely and feeling ever so slightly ripped-off. THE BASTARD.

 

THE DOCTOR gets in every thread

[M'coli]

I have emailed him telling him what an utter fucktard he is and giving him directions to the local Vasectomy cinic so that he does not ever piss in the gene pool.

[Tayne]

I've spent literally pounds

[hairymel]

from the same thread :-

 

on autoshite

not just Piston Heads for poor people.

 

 

 

[Tayne]

'One Of The Most Useful Things That I Have Ever Bought'

 

Along with an action man cock extension, a barbeque for his gold fish and Stanly Unwin's guide (in Esperanto) on how to change the spark pugs in a Transit Di?

[ashmicro]

And fuck Pistonheads - it's full of VW Golf-driving Herberts pretending they know about cars.

[vulgalour]

Because we all love a bit of innuendo...

 

keep searching, when you do find a ready source of cheap Bristols, do share

[Craig the Princess]

Guess if you're pottering about going house-to-house and carrying a butcher's shop with you, the mpg will suffer a bit.

[catsinthewelder]

Put a shopping list on the doors or fit neons/bodykits/stupid spoilers/rocket launcher exhausts/17" chrome alloys and I'll tip up outside your house at 3.00am one Sunday and modify your car with a baseball bat and several cans of Nitromors.

[Volksy]

Barrett wrote:

 

That one's low miles and a decent colour, I say go for it. Take it from me man, I'm an EXPERT in buying great cars.

[Wilko220]

In response to a search for a decent 7-seater...

 

Buy my Bluebird and put the ugliest two kids in the boot

 

 

.

[DSdriver]

He may be new here but with stuff like this he is going to fit in fine:

 

One lady owner = Never washed, never serviced, bald tyres because they're never checked, covered in parking dints as its spent 80% of its life "at the shops " and full of

junk as its never cleaned out.........or am I just going on my own wifes car

By Tag26

[hauserplenty]

Re: Posh shite

 

Postby Breadvan72 » Fri Sep 07, 2012 9:01 am

Honest, Mr Regan, he just told me there'd be a Monkey in it for me if I'd be the wheelman on a blag up West, but he never told me there'd be shootahs...

Dude...Wot's that in English--urrr...I mean, American??

Just while we are translating...

[Albert Ross]

Honestly Officer, I was offered £500 to drive a car for a Gentleman's agreement in Kensington, but the Gentleman concerned had failed to mention we would be going for pheasant later.

[hauserplenty]

^ Thank you for that, sir...

--and then the Officer said:

"Yeew inna heap-o'trouble-boooahy..."

[M'coli]

Grand Espace V6. Is there a shiter way to achieve 16 MPG?

[Morgan84]

Re: Shite deal-breaking selling points

by The Reverend Bluejeans » Tue Sep 11, 2012 7:48 pm

 

"I know what these are worth"

 

Good for you arsehole.

[Formula Autos]

Let's ignore other websites for they are the false prophets! Autoshite is the true Messiah.

 

It's not the Messiah, it's a very naughty website.

[vulgalour]

Surely with that level of stupidity you would die long before from trying to gargle chainsaws or something?

[whitevanman]

this one from the tat thread

 

 

 

*Anyone else wondering why someone would hand over seven large and ask for a picture of a one legged Red Indian shoving a beer keg up a small horse's arse and a drug induced alsation peering between two skis?

[HillmanImp]

Being such a miserable shite, its not often I laugh out loud but this did make me do a LOL and also a small unexpected fart:

 

Its got a mega cheap ass CD player with SD card reader in, so hopefully i will be able to take the card out my digicam and have all my photos played to me in dolby 3.1.

[Cavcraft]

Mr Lobster:

 

'Hey I've been to the zoo today, the otters did look pretty pleased with themselves tbh.

 

The smug bastards.'