Stupid things you've seen on the road today

[eddyramrod]

Valid point, Retro! I used to work in Preston, so I do know what you mean...

[John F]

Can't be any worse than Bradford... driving standards there are APPALLING. I don't know what's worse - asian women that can't drive, or asian men that think they can (and back it up with plenty of attitude, innit?). There's a joke in the area that they have one licence for the entire family, although it might not be a joke.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

I can second that thing about Bradford. I used to live there and absolutely hated it. I recall reading about families cloning their own car so that they can drive half a dozen grey Avensises (?) on a single set of MOT/Insurance/road tax.

[barefoot]

... half a dozen grey Avensises (?) ...

 

From another (slightly more pedantic) forum

 

"Surely the plural of Avensis is Avensi rather than Avensises?"

 

"or even Avenses (third declension)"

 

Hope that helps m8

[scaryoldcortina]

Car names are proper nouns, so the plural of Avensis is Avensises in the same way as Focus is Focuses not Foci.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I drive 500 miles every week and must be missing something cos I don’t see all these knobs and wankers everywhere, Ok I see the odd thing that is worth a facepalm but not a massive lot. Saying that its all commuting, i don’t tend to get involved with shoppers and school run mums and what have you.

 

I saw some lad in a Clio 182 the other day, he had 4 ‘for sale’ notices in the back windows, all A4 size, must have wiped out 75% of his rearward visibility. The notices each had 2 identical colour photos of the car (very useful!), along with the reg number in size 48 italic font.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

all you M62 users

 

'shudders at the thought'.

 

Is there a worse Motorway, anywhere?

[autofive]

all you M62 users

 

'shudders at the thought'.

 

Is there a worse Motorway, anywhere?

 

the M6 around preston/blackpool junctions

[ProgRocker]

Some idiot in a white new shape Scirocco put his/her foot down at the lights, didn't make much progress as he got help up in the queue of cars in front approaching the roundabout.

 

He/she then cut me up at a roundabout as I wanted to turn right and he/she took the racing line. I flashed my lights at the prat to communicate my disapproval at his/her lack of driving skill. Either hope that the driver learns to be a bit more considerate towards other motorists or that a big dose of karma is delivered and is tugged by the police and ticketed.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

idiot in a white new shape Scirocco

 

To be fair, what other specimen would own one?

[ProgRocker]

^ Good point, Rev.

[worldofceri]

I drive 500 miles every week and must be missing something cos I don’t see all these knobs and wankers everywhere, Ok I see the odd thing that is worth a facepalm but not a massive lot.

 

I'm the same. Sure, I get annoyed with folk being inconsiderate or whatever, but there's actually very little OMG That Is So Dangerous Won't Someone Think Of The Children type driving about.

 

I saw a guy in an Escort van overtake a line of queueing traffic the other day and sail through a red light on the wrong side of the road. I just had a little chuckle to be honest. He obviously just doesn't give a shit.

 

I've driven 105 miles today and cycled 10, and I can't think of a single incident of any note. Perhaps I was the one driving like a twat.

[scaryoldcortina]

I haven't seen anything worth reporting since this thread started - dangerously stupid stuff is thankfully rare. The last time I was worked up about anything driving related was the cyclist who undercut me and turned right as I was turning left the other week.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

The last time I was worked up about anything driving related was the cyclist who undercut me and turned right as I was turning left the other week.

 

Should have mown the fucker down, whilst shouting 'GET A CAR YOU LOSER!'.

[Pete-M]

The single most dangerous place to drive in the UK that I've found is Stratford Rd, Birmingham between 12-1pm on a Friday.

 

Other than that, I do 500-1000 miles a week and rarely see any real muppetry.

 

There was a chap in a Merc Sprinter this afternoon who pulled onto the East Lancs in the "fast" lane and then stopped in front of a truck while he had a look around, but other than that, it's rare I see anything particularly worrying.

 

One thing I have noticed over the years is that those who complain about everyone else on the road being a bad driver tend to be the worst drivers of the lot. If you watch what is going on around you, anticipate other people doing daft things and leave enough space to have a safe escape route then life on the road can be pretty mellow. Whether it be on the motorway at 90 mph or trundling around town its the same game. Give way to people, be polite, use your indicators avoid doing anything sudden and expect people to do daft and / or stupid things.

 

About the only thing that seriously pisses me off when I'm on the road is massively inconsiderate HGV drivers blocking two lanes of motorway because they seriously believe that doing 55.999999999 mph means they absolutely have to pass the truck that is doing 55.9999999998 mph even though it'll take a fucking month, they're slowing down hundreds of people behind and causing motorway tailbacks that can last 5-6 miles. The M6 northbound near Stafford is one of the hot spots for 'em to do this. I'm the cunt who rings the truck companies and complains about it if they're taking the piss. Absolutely no need for truckers to do this, but every single day I see trucks blocking lane two for mile after mile while they pass a truck that is going at identical speed in lane one. It's the one thing I'd allow the Wombles to prosecute truckers for. Instant fifty year driving ban with £50k fine and no appeal for any truck overtake that takes more than a minute. Both the passing trucker and the one being passed getting banned if the tacho shows they didn't lift to let 'em past.

[jonny69]

Well there's been nothing to report since I started the thread. Typical.

 

Should have mown the fucker down, whilst shouting 'GET A CAR YOU LOSER!'.

Can't tell if there's irony in your post or not. Irony in the fact that I'm a cyclist, but I own three cars too

[cort16]

The only thing that been annoying me this week is every night when I drive home there's some old giffer (not even the same one) at the front of the queue of traffic doing 42mph. Come on man it's a clear road at least do 50!

When you're driving lots every day you just have to let these things go or you'd drive yourself insane.

[flat4alfa]

Pop the Giffer down to the opticians. That's what he needs. Low light and bad eyes.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

If you watch what is going on around you, anticipate other people doing daft things and leave enough space to have a safe escape route then life on the road can be pretty mellow.

 

True. I try to do this, but I still get pissed off by the sheer stupidity of Britain's Got Morons. For years. many A roads had a 60 mph limit. You'd get some fucktard doing 49 of course and the nice clear straight bits where anyone with a modernish car and some common sense* could do 65-70 on a clear, dry day.

Now they've brought it down to 50, and you now have fucktards doing 30-35.

 

Driving is really starting to become as annoying as supermarket shopping. I normally go at midnight for the low idiot count but had to go just now as the fridge was bare. Trying to park is real fun. Just reversing into a spot and some fat Hippobottommouse with a pram containing a screaming Ginger child tries to go in between my car and the one I'm parking next to. Whilst I'm reversing. Spills herself into a Citroen Picarsehole and shuffle steers off to cause some other poor Sod annoyance. That's the future of the UK right there.

 

 

 

 

*That's the problem though.

[John F]

Just reversing into a spot and some fat Hippobottommouse with a pram containing a screaming Ginger child tries to go in between my car and the one I'm parking next to. Whilst I'm reversing. Spills herself into a Citroen Picarsehole and shuffle steers off to cause some other poor Sod annoyance. That's the future of the UK right there.

 

You can find her doing 65-70 mph in the middle lane of a motorway near you, or scuttling round the outside lane of a roundabout when she wants the 3rd exit. The fucking clueless bitch.

[HillmanImp]

plenty of the immigrants drive here as they would do in their native country.

 

True. It works both ways though.

 

I see people from other countries using all 3 lanes of the motorway and actually pulling in after overtaking on a suicide lane rather than just staying in the dual lane.

The lane dicipline in this country is appalling. I drove down to Nottingham from Leeds the other week and there was 1 car that I saw in the new 4th lane they had added to the inside. 2 years of roadworks, go knows how many millions of quid and 1 car using it. Then they have the nerve to start getting angry with me for not pulling out over 3 other lanes of traffic to overtake them when there is nothing on their nearside? Why do that when I can stay in the same inside lane that nobody else is occupying? Its getting so bad now that they are going to have to make undertaking legal soon, its the only way to deal with congestion caused by middle lane hangers.

 

TBH though a lot also needs to be levied at the idiots (normally in Audi's - but not nice 100's like mine) who wont let people out when they need to overtake. It causes people to hang around in the middle lane thinking they will get stuck behind the lorry as nobody has any manners anymore.

 

Although i seem to be getting vexed about this, I am well over it now and am just making observations. I cant see much I can do about it and just have to deal with it. Much better to just get home open a cider and watch Minder.

 

Well there's been nothing to report since I started the thread. Typical.

 

Should have mown the fucker down, whilst shouting 'GET A CAR YOU LOSER!'.

Can't tell if there's irony in your post or not. Irony in the fact that I'm a cyclist, but I own three cars too

 

 

I have 5 cars (er 4 of which work, 2 of which are currently road legal but thats just technicalities) and for some reason ride my bike to work. I say for some reason, its because it keeps me the well toned sexy mo'fo that the ladies love.*

 

*I also cant afford the petrol

[tonedepear]

I drove down to Nottingham from Leeds the other week and there was 1 car that I saw in the new 4th lane they had added to the inside. 2 years of roadworks, go knows how many millions of quid and 1 car using it.

 

Was probably me. I'm the only fucker I've ever seen using it. Everyone coming on at that junction (29?) thinks it's a slip road and pull straight out.

 

Coming back from Stoke last night I followed a corsa + focus for about 10 miles of dual carriageway. It was 23:30ish, dead quiet and they were the only 2 cars about. The corsa was sat in the outside lane doing 67mph. Focus was sat right behind it patiently waiting to pass. I was sat a way back in the inside lane wondering what would happen. In the end patient mr focus just pulled into the slow lane and sat a couple of car length behind, unwilling to undertake (rightly I spose) and presumably just sobbing into his steering wheel at the prospect of being stuck behind the corsa for the rest of his natural life. Thought I'd have a go, so I sit behind corsa for a couple of miles patiently at a safe distance. Eventually I flash my lights a bit. No response. Then after a minute or so I flash them properly, lighting up the whole car so I can see the occupants (3 late teen girls). Girl in the back seat is staring at me as if to say "why are those lights so fierce, what's going on, where am I?" and then after a few seconds, corsa indicates politely, then pulls in to the slow lane, with a waved hand of apology as I pass. Patient Focus man then follows me past and cruises off into the distance when I pull in.

 

Fine. Polite. No aggro. But what the fuck was she doing for the 15 or so miles of dual carriageway where she was just sat in theoutside lane completely oblivious to everything going on around her?

[M'coli]

Fine. Polite. No aggro. But what the fuck was she doing for the 15 or so miles of dual carriageway where she was just sat in theoutside lane completely oblivious to everything going on around her?

Being cool*, out with her friends, and probably looking a Faceache on her phone too.

 

*No, really. She knows she's cool. We just think she's ignorant.

[dollywobbler]

You've just reminded me of one incident on the M6 a couple of years ago. Pretty sure it was a Corsa and it sort of just ambled towards the fast lane as someone overtook it. Cue a hasty change of mind and blind panic for the car almost hit - and us watching all this from behind. As we brave an overtake ourselves, we spot that the little brattish girl at the wheel of this Corsa - now middle-lane cruising - is obviously texting! I wouldn't mind, but their stupidity is likely to injure/kill someone else rather than just themselves.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I would LOVE to be a motorway Cop. Never mind those doing 80-90 mph (the faster ones would get a flash of the blue lights to induce a bit of 3 points panic and then a waving of the finger in the 'slow the fuck down' fashion)........it's the idiots I would have field day with. I would probably issue 20 tickets a day for dangerous/careless driving.

[RedSparrow]

Been driving more than usual due to work the last couple of weeks.

I found myself shouting 'ARRRGGGGHHHHH!' on my own in the car after about the 3rd incident of a pensioner doing 32mph on a national speed limit road.

I seriously think that people who dont work shouldnt be allowed to drive during rush hours. Also they shouldnt be allowed in post offices between 12 and 2pm, as I have often wasted the best part of a lunch break queing behind smackheads arguing over their giros and pensioners buying a single 2nd class stamp and wanting to chat to the people on the desk.

[Cavcraft]

Same road, same bridge, same darkness. Some bellend in a Meriva is right up my arse end as I'm doing 40 so I slowed down to 32mph just to annoy him (not big/clever I know) so he overtakes me on the worse possible part of the road despite having ample opportunity to do so earlier. Not only that he was on the wrong side of the road on the bridge and just looking at me. I laughed at him which seemed to annoy him even more then he just dropped it a couple of gears and nailed it.

 

Some bloody strange people about these days.

[Pete-M]

One of the major problems in the UK is the various ludicrously powerful Nanny State 'n' NIMBY 'safety' bridages who've had all the speed limits artificially lowered over the last 15 years or so. Roads that were perfectly safe NSL 70 jobs are down to 30 mph in some places for no apparent reason other than so they can chuck a speed camera in and / or give the local busybodies speed guns.

 

Most of the more rural roads that were NSL for years are now down to 30 or 40 near me because of these idiots. If people can't drive reasonably quickly anywhere than motorways or dual carriageways they're never going to know how to handle their cars. Which will make the standard of driving drop more than letting people do 60 or 70 on quiet rural roads, but the 'safety' Nazis can't see that and councils / police departments don't make any money from letting people actually get somewhere in less than a week.

 

Low limits near schools, hospitals and a few other places of that ilk. Fair enough, but they don't stick to places like that. The East Lancs Rd is a perfect example. Between Carr Mill and Windle is a clear, straight uphill stretch that lasts for a mile or so between any turnings or anything that could be dangerous. Was a 70 for years. Now it's a 60 and they regularly put a speed camera van at the bottom of the hill... if you're driving an old Transit and want to get up the hill it's a lot easier to get up to 70 going downhill and if you're lucky you'll hit the peak of the hill at 50-55 mph. Now you've got to do 60 at the bottom of the hill because of the Scamera Van so you're only getting to the top of the hill at 40... in a 60 zone.

 

The road from Tarbock Island to Widnes through Cronton. Used to be NSL, now it's down to 30-40 most of the way. It's no fun anymore. Same on the way to Penketh from Cronton. Or the road from Maghull to Southport, half the ones near Rainford are now down to 2/3s of bugger all, same as the road to Billinge. That used to be ace fun, now it's 40 limit and populated by old gits shuffling along at 25 mph. Ok, the odd Saturday Night Racer used to go off into the hedges occasionally but they still do as they don't take any notice of speed limits anyway, or the blag Scamera signs the councils are so fond of.

 

Raising the motorway limit to 80 should merely be a first step in the direction of raising a fair few more limits.

 

As a few others have said, lane discipline here is shit. Drive in Germany or almost anywhere in Europe and lane discipline is tighter than here. Even Italian motorways are mostly better behaved than here. In a lot of Europeland the HGV drivers are banished to the 'slow' lane and banned from overtaking each other for long periods of the day, it works. Foreign motorways flow because the natives keep over when they're not overtaking. Try sitting in the middle or 'fast' lane on a derestricted Autobahn, you won't be there for long as Mannfred in his VW Transporter isn't gonna drop from 190 km/h if he can avoid it, he'll use the Cibié death rays fitted to his van to blind you out of his way if you've not spotted his approach. It works, everyone stays out of the way of the speedy folk and the speedy folk maintain lane discipline even when doing 150 mph so the even speedier foiks can get a move on without inconveniencing anyone. Here you end up stuck behind some fucking halfwit coffee salesman in his company Passat TDi who ain't gonna move because he's so self absorbed he can't believe anyone would go faster than he does, so he'll sit there at 82 mph thinking about his next Little Chef meeting to discuss blue sky thinking on Facetime with the South Welsh regional Latte division instead of actually fucking driving.

 

Belgians are shit drivers in the rain.

[cort16]

One thing that does really annoy me is this old boy in a tractor who drives me bloody mand. He's on my road to work every morning when the road's at its busiest. It causes all kind of jams and manic overtaking. It doesn't seem to matter what time I leave in the morning I aways seem to get bloody stuck behind him.

Now I've nothing against farmers driving their tractor on the road but 1: could he not do it at 9.10 once the traffic had died down and 2: I think he's using the tractor to drive to the supermarket to pick up his morning paper and not some more relevant farmer related activity.

[worldofceri]

I got stuck behind a steam traction engine for a couple of miles today. I'm sure everyone else in the massive tailback was fuming but I thought it was pretty cool. Steam Powah is for Winnarz!