The girls of Autoshite (probably NSFW)

[HillmanImp]

Hi, my name is Sarah from Reading. I sadly broke down one time but thankfully got a push from this kind lady. Amazingly, the wind suddenly blew just as the photo was about to be taken which was helpful as it will have made her job of pushing it slightly easier. Ironically she is an Escort too. I think she must be a slightly cheaper model though.

 

 

 

Hi there boys, I am Janet of London. I am a 1981 Mk 5 Ford Cortina. Here I am being repaired by Josie. She is a mechanic who comes from High Barnet. She also has a high skirt, high heels but surprisingly low moral values.

 

 

 

Hello everyone. I am Emma a 1983 Ford Sierra from Sussex. This is my friend Lou.

As you can see from this photo, she loves it in the back door. But she would really as she is also an old boot.

 

 

 

My name is Gloria. I am what you might term as a MILF. I am a bit temperamental as i have been used and abused by many people over the years. Whilst I am a lowly Wolseley 1300, this lady is my Princess as she repaired a split hose for me. It was very kind of her to help as by doing so it made her late for her date with Peter Purvis, John Noakes and Shep in the local woods.

 

 

 

I am Celine, and I am a naughty Bedford CF ice cream van. Despite appearances, I am not an ice queen and actually run quite hot, probably due to a serious HGF. Here I am with my friend Debbie. She is a painter and decorator by trade and judging by what she is wearing she must have come straight from work.

*insert own hotdog/hamburger joke here*

 

 

 

Continuing the Ice Cream theme, I am Carly and I am a chocolate Magnum.

In this photo I am with my friend Pamela. Its quite a sad story this as after her boyfriend and his two friends tied her naked to the bed, tickled her with feathers and left her to go to the pub, they drunkenly crashed their car on the way back home and all passed away. This meant that nobody ever untied her and her rotted remains were found 2 years later when Midland bank came round to repossess her home.

 

 

 

My name is Estelle. I am a Peugeot 104. I am in this photo with Marianne.

I really wish that she would wear trousers when she is in the car with me as I think she has a problem 'downstairs' as she cant stop scratching herself. See, she is doing it in every photo! I wish she would leave it alone, it will only make it worse.

 

 

 

Lastly, I am Bella. This is my Jeni who works at the showroom where I currently live.

She is always trying to sell me because I have electric windows, stereo and all the trimmings which is a bit rich as she has blatantly had none of them.

 

 

 

 

I apologise to any female readers. I have edited these and removed anything too explicit.....

[eddyramrod]

 

And how fortuitous, as I was just saying to Father Ted that a Space Cruiser is what he needs for his dayvan project. Or a Town Ace, same thing.

[warren t claim]

I had the Mk5 Cortina girl as my avatar for a while.

 

 

And FUEGOBIRD!

[Father Ted]

Yes, that last shot has convinced me that a Space Cruiser would be ace, with a Jeni preferabbly as well.

 

Not sure if your comprehensive collection of old jazz mags is to be held in awe or is just a little bit disturbing.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

The slogan for the TR7 is GR12!

"Rapido, antes que sea demasiado tarde"...Triumph managed to use google translate before it had been invented. It means "Quick, before it's too late", in a word-to-word literal translation that would sound at least peculiar, if not completely daft, to a native. If that's not bad enough, maybe the buyers weren't quick enough and that's why it was too late for the flying arsehole!

[tonedepear]

I have edited these and removed anything too explicit.....

 

[michael1703]

OMG! Shite dogging skillz in the space cruiser, gr9 for flashing your growlah

[andrew e]

I am sooo praying that wasn't the previous owner of my mum's orange 104

[dollywobbler]

There's an orange Pug 104 for sale on Retro Rides at the moment. Could it be the same car?! Is that why it's gone rusty?

 

Amusing, though the pedant in me wishes to point out that the Wolseley 1300 is actually a Riley Kestrel.

[michael1703]

thought they would have paisley print curtains

[autofive]

granny !! what are you doing getting your muff out in a magazine?

 

 

i just had a thought: one of these ladies might have a grandchild reading this thread and suddenly...............

[dollywobbler]

Am I the only one who finds those pictures about as 'sexy' as a slightly sucked Werther's Original though? I feel for those defiled motors.

 

I might just be odd. I never much cared for the Pirelli calendars either.

[HillmanImp]

Am I the only one who finds those pictures about as 'sexy' as a slightly sucked Werther's Original though? I feel for those defiled motors.

 

90% of these bints seem pretty hanging in these old mags. I don't just think its the fact they are old photos and old fashions, i think its because they are munters.

 

I got these from googling 'Fiesta magazine scans'. Had to sit through 35 pages of hairy clumps just to get these. I thought there would be page after page of pub landladies draped of Austin Princesses but no the car pose is a rare photo as it turns out. Gave up in the end.

[Cavcraft]

Soz to be a killjoy but PLEASE no flange shots or AS will get NSFW'd at, erm, work

[Father Ted]

Soz to be a killjoy but PLEASE no flange shots or AS will get NSFW'd at, erm, work

So far its not been blocked at my place of work. Can only be a matter of time though.

[michael1703]

 

[KruJoe]

I think she has a problem 'downstairs' as she cant stop scratching herself... I wish she would leave it alone, it will only make it worse.

Superb.

[hairnet]

trigger must have some ripe scans........

 

they seem to be carrying a bit of extra baggage most of them...........

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

 

 

 

Hello everyone. I am Emma a 1983 Ford Sierra from Sussex. This is my friend Lou.

As you can see from this photo, she loves it in the back door. But she would really as she is also an old boot.

 

Blimey, tits like pebbles in a wet sock.

 

We've all shagged worse at some point though.

[Louise2cv]

...much love, from "TEH Hunks of Autoshite".

 

We put the Phwoar in Fourtrak; we put the Woah! in Allegro; we put the Sex in Dyslexic; we put the Crabs...nevermind...

 

 

[scooters]

Emmas wing mirrors and hub caps don't match.

and neither do Lou's

Mind you yellow headlights....must be French which means she is dirty of mind as well as of body.

 

 

Shame you edited the real filth I good do with a quick barclays over some raddled old boiler spreading her Mary on the bonnet of an Escort.

 

BTW...anyone else feel disappointed when Ford Launched the Sierra and didn't name it after a Grumble Mag....

 

Surely with the Escort and Fiesta at the bottom and middle range of the SCRUNT market the executive model should have been the Ford Club International?

[carlo]

...much love, from "TEH Hunks of Autoshite".

 

We put the Phwoar in Fourtrak; we put the Woah! in Allegro; we put the Sex in Dyslexic; we put the Crabs...nevermind...

 

 

 

Couldn't agree more Louise

[Cavcraft]

Best not mention Scunthorpe then, hey?