Cardinal Claims Confessional.

[warren t claim]

I thought I'd start a thread where we can come clean and admit our little shite related secrets, for example.

 

Did you scrappage a Talbot Horizon diesel for a nice new Proton Myvvi?

Does your blood run cold at the thought of changing a spark plug?

Is your liking for big barges a cover up for not being able to drive a manual?

Do you call out the RAC to change a wheel?

 

To start the ball rolling here's mine......

 

Nothing scares the shit out of me more than towing a caravan or trailer. I'm totally pants at it.

 

If you were a session musician who spent five days a week playing a Gibson Les Paul then you'd think that someone could chuck you a banjo and you'd be able to knock out a tune within minutes, this analogy falls on its arse when Warren T Claim, professional HGV driver has to tow a Swift Corniche or a £149 Halfrauds gardening trailer.

 

I would honestly prefer to blindside reverse a double deck tautliner into a tight loading bay at night, in the pissing rain with misted up mirrors than face the prospect of backing a small trailer up a driveway, a task that I honestly believe is impossible.

 

Even coupling and uncoupling a caravan makes me want to run and hide. I try and approach the situation the same as I would doing a trailer change at work (think B.L.A.C.K) but I usually end up having to drag the A frame over the tow bar to connect it all up.

[dollywobbler]

You're forgiven. Small, single-axle trailers can be a nightmare to reverse. Especially when empty.

 

My cardinal sin was scrapping my first 2CV. There wasn't that much wrong with it, but welding repairs cost money, and I didn't have much of that at the time. So, I pulled it apart, pinched the chassis to save a less-rotten 2CV, stashed the engine in my shed (eventually did many happy miles in a Dyane) and used other bits for other cars. The really-not-that-rotten bodyshell was scrapped. If only I could turn back time! That body was far, far less rotten than the 2CV I own now was when that was restored.

 

I also scrapped a Skoda Estelle in need of a starter ring gear. It was pretty much exemplary. Again, clueless me just scrapped it having fitted a brand new starter motor, which didn't cure the problem. Idiot! Thankfully for the sake of car-kind, I am no longer 20. I really didn't know what I was doing back then.

[alf892]

Good thread!

 

I have a class 1 hgv licence........like you quite happy to reverse a trailer anywhere.

 

Had a big problem with a small trailer a few years ago though. I used to inspect HGVs for a living and this included doing some solo trailers so I had to have a smaller trailer carrying a bottle of compressed air to test brakes. When going to this yard I ALWAYS did a few trailers then unhooked my trailer and went to the office for a coffee. So sitting in the car one day and a fella asks me to move back a bit to let him out..........so I back up without looking behind (I is having coffee remember so haven't got trailer). Car stops and look in mirror for problem...........trailer in rear wing. FFS. Ring boss to report........he unhappy......next team meeting had piss ripped LOTS. Get car repaired. Two weeks later do a similar thing (but milder). Confession not an option so fixed myself with wag and rattle cans and lots of T cut......

[RobT]

I bet most people on here have scrapped something they shouldn't have. My sin was sending a perfectly decent Volvo 460 to the crusher because the alarm/immobiliser kept packing up and leaving me stranded - once I was stuck in an NCP in Brighton where both the car park attendant and the recovery bloke helped me out massively getting the bloody thing out from the top floor and onto the flat bed. The irony was I'd gone to Brighton to pick up a new alternator for the damn thing

 

Only owned it for 3 months, wrote the car and the £500 purchase price off to experience.

[Rocket88]

Towing a caravan without a stabilsier can be a nightmare, I know, I did it for years, thinking that stabilisers were a gimmick, and any "good driver" should be able to cope without one..................as ani fule kno.....rong!

[alf892]

just one more.........for now

 

About 1984 I was working in an Austin Rover garage.......

 

After lunch one Friday (2.00pm) I was given a service +head gasket and clutch job on an Ambassador. Not too bad but a bit tight given we closed at 4.30.

 

Did head gasket OK and started on clutch.....the quick way was to just drop the engine/box down a bit for clearance. You just had to remember to undo the earth lead......

 

4.30 on the dot the receptionist comes in the shop to let the know the customer is there. All I needed to do was fit a new exhaust (found u/s on service) so I said it would be ready in 15 mins so give him a coffee........

 

Had real bother getting the front pipe on so it dragged out to about half an hour with receptionist nagging at every decreasing intervals and my replies getting ever more fraught along the lines of 'if you let me get on with it it will be ready a fuggin site sooner'

 

Got finished went home.

 

Came in Monday to see the Ambassador dumped on the forecourt having been recovered by the AA.

 

Workshop controller was delighted......we didn't get on as he tried to bully everyone and I wouldn't play.......now he had something 'on' me.

 

Didn't take long to find out what I had done though. That earth lead goes from battery......bolts to body with lug and carries on to engine.

 

Customer had gone hurtling up the A1 at night in rain. The lack of bdy earth meant the whole lot (lights, wipers, heater, etc) was using the (plastic coated) throttle cable as earth. This clearly exceeded it's current capacity and it got a bit hot causing the plastic to melt........the throttle stuck open so the driver dipped the clutch and the engine free revved till the valves bounced.......right throufgh the cam cover (o series). He must have been going some though.

 

We (I) had to rebuild it with no bonus.

 

Nowadays I like to look back on this as learning through experience.......

[Volksy]

Scrapped a 1 owner, low miles (37,000) Austin Ambassador (Y reg) HL.

 

Got it given, had some welding done on it, Sills, and the numpty garage melted the wiring loom, could have fixed it, but I had no tools, place to work, or store the car without tax, Stoke council/police were being draconian as hell about untaxed motors, so it got fragged..

[ashmicro]

While working at the Austin Rover dealer, I was finishing up a full major on a Rover 216SE on a Friday teatime, and the the thought dawned on me "Bloody hell, I don't remember the S Series holding so much oil. Of course I HAD put the sump plug back in. NOT. (A mate did the same thing years later on a 214)

 

When I was 15 I didn't align the clutch properly on my Grandfather's Civic. Clutch exploded.

 

Could figure out why my LC wouldn't rev, and the throttle was slack. I had the carbs off the bike before I realised I hadn't reconnected the throttle cable.

 

Trying to get my mate's Samba Cabrio to start by squirting lighter fluid down the carb while he cranked the engine. Carb blew back, I had an eyebrow reduction.

 

Gearboxes frighten me, and I don't like working on diesels.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I bought a fairly presentable Alfa Arna out of Gosforth scrapyard in about 1995, I fitted new SH front wings and a new front valance, sorted out the brakes and got it into a reasonable condition. Then something happened, can't remember what, but it ended up leaving my ownership on the back of a scrap truck with some other old heap sitting on its roof. B831 FVK, SORRY I LET YOU DOWN

[Rocket88]

When Merc estates were worth a few bob, I managed to get hold of an '81 200 in red [well pink] with an epic cam cover oil leak. New gaket didn't cure it, so bodged up with bathroom sealant. Spent hours buffing the paint until it was red again, then sold it. Saw it 3 weeks later.......it was pink ..................again.

[Station]

I told everyone I'd reversed my old Astra out of the driveway with the door open and it bent back against the gate post, but I in fact pushed it back (crushing the arch and bending the door hinge) under my own steam because I was pissed off.

 

[Lankytim]

Last week I tried to fit new shocks and springs to the rear of the Audi and tried to re-use the old nuts on the top of the new shock absorbers. They were a slightly different thread and a stripped them both. I managed to re-tap one but needed to replace the other, of course the supplier had sold me the last pair and the type was now discontinued. Tracked down a single replacement shocker and it arrived today. Not a mistake i'm going to make again, but to be fair, I probably will.

[Pete-M]

I'm responsible for the early deaths of lots and lots of cars. Bought 'em cheap, ran 'em on the cheap, broke 'em and scrapped 'em.

 

Probably 15 Mk4/5 Cortina 2.0 Ghias have met their end with me, a few Capris, too many 2.8i Granadas, Volvos, Escort Mk2 RSs. Everything I owned in the early '90s, with the exception of three RS2000s and an Escort Mexico is dead now according to the DVLA.

 

I probably got through 150 cars before they started to survive more than a few months.

[Cavcraft]

Of the many bad things I've done selling some alloys/tyres (one of which had at least two punctures) and fitting them for the bloke so I could claim he must have got the puncture on the way home is probably one of the tamer ones.

 

Probably the Sierra 2.3 diesel estate episode was one of my favourites though, I still laugh to this day about that one.

[Guest]

I feel bad about selling my Piazza off to be broken for bits. I gave a Manta owner on another forum a right fucking roasting over it, and yet when I was hard up I let it go to donate its running gear to a Triumph Spitfire. It may not have been a HBL but it was a G80 spec pre Lotus, which meant it had the coveted LSD worth more than the rest of the car put together.

 

I should have bundled it off somewhere else for a while, but I needed the money. I later found out that it ended up in a barn in Belgium and was subsequently robbed never to be seen again.

[catsinthewelder]

And this thread appears with perfect timing to mention

 

After going round in ever decreasing circles lately trying to get our Citroen BX to run after the fuel pipe fail I lost all sense of proportion and decided to scrap him. Posted up a parts ad on the owner group site and started to look for a replacement.

 

After a couple of days the realisation came that there was nothing suitable available locally, rational thought started to return and I phoned the local garage we use for the small work fleet. He was happy to do the work but had nothing to tow a non functional hydraulic Citroen. The AA/RAC were mentioned and after checking the small print of my insurance docs, I've got home start

 

Phone in and don't mention its been sat for 2 weeks, bloke out in an hour. Explained that both fuel pipes had snapped in the same place, replaced both, car would run for a bit then cut out.

 

RAC chappie improves repair with copper pipe joins and swaps then over, car now running

[Lord Sterling]

Scrapping - About 5 or 6 years ago I scrapped a Black Sierra Sapphire Ghia, I was young, stupid and financially poor. The car was overheating badly in traffic, I drove it to my local scrappy with a mate in tow, scrapman gave me £20 and I took the perpperpot alloys off it, I wish I took more stuff off it but I didnt how then. I think given the same circumstance now or if I was a little wiser then I'd have probably stashed it in some rented lock-up or something.

 

Engine knowledge - I honestly havent got a clue when it comes to mechanicals on cars, I dont what things are called, I dont know where they are located and nor do I know how to change or modify them. I can just about manage a service, even then I only manage to actually have a go at one a couple of weeks ago This is all despite the fact that I used to often be seen with my head under the bonnet, so most people seem think I know about cars

[fiatdaft]

loads,but a cheeky wee one here.

 

i was selling a 7 year old metro turbo that i was totally fed up with, the leaky radiator was the last straw ,guy turns up just as i am helpfully topping up the levels,of the course the car pulling up near me distracted me and 4 litres of water tinged with anti freeze everywhere.handily he even parked it in roughly the same spot after the test drive.

[Anglevan]

Not my sin but i was responsible in one way. In the mid eighties I worked for a Mitsubishi garage, in the sixties & seventies said garage used to be a VW / NSU / Austin / BMW dealer at various times. Anyways the boss wanted the 2 back sheds clearing. We had never been in so we were quite curious. When we opened the doors you've never seen owt like it. Stacks and stacks of panels / lights / bumpers.

Brand new bumpers for the NSU RO80 Brand new panels for the mk1 golf and Polo. New panels for the bay window camper. Brand new lights for 2002 BMW's. New boxed grilles for ADO16's The list was endless.

Anyways the foreman had an LT35 had a word with the dealer manager and struck a deal. SO one afternoon I started to help load the van (I was 16 / 17 at the time) Just by chance the general manager came in that afternoon in his silver Bitter (yes we were a Bitter dealer too) Reg was D600KNW - remember it well..

He went mad and demanded that all the parts were scrapped. I then had to take them out of the van and put them in the skip. Not just that but the boss insisted that everything was damaged, lights hit with a hammer. bumpers twisted, panels jumped on. Total scralidge and yes I had to do it When he wasn't looking my mate and I managed to squirrel some small items inc some genuine dealer Neon signs for MG & Riley .. but not a lot (I only had a Yamaha Sailent at the time so cant imagine carrying a bay window door on the way home discreatly !!!!

 

So thats my sin -- still sickens me at the thought.. Anyways I left shortly after, then a couple of years later it folded..

[Station]

I've spat on a K-series engine when it refused to start. It was a proper navvie spit as well.

[Cavcraft]

Hey if we're counting taking cars over the bridge there's been loads. Tbh I can't even say I really regretted any of them as such at the time as they were offered up and no takers came forward.

Just some of them: XM estate given to me for nowt, took it two miles to a scrappy and got £140 for it, old (89-ish) 7 series BM partially stripped for a handful of parts and got a VERY nice touch over the bridge, XJ40 went the same way after a huge result selling the wheels off it and lobbing the rest over the scales and countless others. Even seeing the 190 go to be stripped and sent to Nigeria didn't bother me that much in the end.

[TimothyClaypole]

Cutting up a 2002 Tii that was bought unseen and was totally rotten but not knowing what stuff to keep and throwing the struts and calipers away which are worth more than I paid for it.

 

I have a few pictures of it and can see them laying on the driveway...

[Lankytim]

I weighed a 2 door mk 2 escort a few years back, it was a 1600 sport- the type that are worth mega money even incomplete and rotten, as mine was. The daft thing was it was worth a few quid even then (2003ish) It was on the trailer, I had nowhere to put it so it went over the bridge.

[CreepingJesus]

My main confession is being a lazy git. I can fix stuff, I just never get round to it. As such, I am the Grim Reaper of cheap cars.

Well, I say I can fix stuff; not always. There was the small matter of the tiny brown wire, which was left over after I'd rebuilt the top end of my old Mk2 Ashtray estate. My mate Bill, and I spent about 2 minutes poring over it, decided the freshly rejuvenated engine ran fine without it, and ignored it. It had something to do with the reg/rec circuit, can't recall exactly what; but the nett effect was that, when I went to collect Kay from her work that evening, the car got to the bottom of the road, and started to miss. Lights went dim, radio went quiet. It'll be okay, sure it will. It did another few miles then died. Completely nothing.

Had to pay to get it towed back home next morning, and cadge a lift off a neighbour (who is even worse with cars than me...) to get a s/h alternator, and a new battery. Problem solved, brown wire put where it should've been in the first place. And I was probly the best part of a £100 lighter. All for ignoring one tiny wee wire, on an otherwise successfull engine job, which saved me say, about £100 over taking it to the garage!

That Astra was probly the one car I most regret sending over the bridge. I nursed her up to 174,000 miles, when I was a skint student. A short while later, her bonnet was all that was left poking out of a pile of metal in Lochgelly.

And I have to confess to being completely unable to reverse those wee plant trailers, the ones for the mini-diggers. When they're hooked up to the back of an 8-leg tipper. Artics, both types of drawbars, caravans: no problem. There's something hellishly not right about the short trailer/long unit combo that totally throws me off. I got one stuck thro' a hedge into a ditch, near Cowdenbeath one time. Was bloody lucky that I got out of that, by the simple expedient of gunning the motor to death, and aiming at the opposite hedge...

[RedSparrow]

Me and a friend trashed a nice MK1 Cavalier with hammers, although it was going for scrap it was still in great condition. This was about 20 years ago but I still feel a bit sad about it.

[Pillock]

I took a sledgehammer to a Mk3 Escort XR3 after my mate's brother had robbed the engine and trim for his 1.3L.

 

I also bought a 1973 Beetle as my first car, saw all my mates in their Novas and Fiestas rack up thousands of miles with no servicing or maintenance and did the same. I then scrapped the two-owner, 83,000 mile car when it needed the £500 of welding that using it all winter had brought on.

[Pete-M]

Cutting up a 2002 Tii

 

I cut up an MGC GT. It was a tuned one, with the wide bubble arches, hyuuuuge Webers, E-type wheels, all trick bits a full on Sebring replica. Registration on it was 55 PJO. Dark red with a thick gold band down the sides and a matt black alloy bonnet.

 

It was pretty rotten, so cut it up with a junior hacksaw, grinder, hammer and chisel.

 

Was a good day, that. 1986 it would have been. Still makes me grin when I see the Sherpa DHC brigade.

 

It had looked like this, but in red, and bizarrely the owner had fitted it with rubber bumpers in the '70s.

 

 

 

I really regret flogging my '85 Mk2 Golf GTi for spares. It was a properly good car with bugger all rot. Silver, LHD, had been a recce car for VW Motorsport allegedly. Still had the sumpguard and headphone wiring along with very very well sorted suspension. Sold it for a ton to some bloke who just wanted the passenger seat. There was nothing wrong with it other than the heater didn't.

[Luxobarges_Are_Us]

Abandoning a Talbot Samba in a Leicestershire village....was my first car, too!!

[Albert Ross]

At the time a wonderful experience. Now? Sadness.

Year. Approx 1990/1. I had a beautiful, intelligent, large breasted girlfriend, who I met as she was repairing the starter motor on her Mother's Triumph 1500 Auto (Pre Dolomite) and it was instant trouser tent. She like Rugby, Pints, old cars (I had a Series Land Rover at the time.....no surprise there) she liked me.. She also had a Citroen GSA. VAH 376X. It needed front pads, and I agreed to fit them. SO off I went to the scrappies to see how fecking awkward a job it was. It looked bloody impossible on the one I looked at (a Nut Brown C-matic on it's side) so I went and bought some new pads. (I never did fit them.. even after 9 months of them sitting in her boot) However. There was an identical X plated GSA in really excellent fettle. Good doors, seats, lamps, you name it. So I totally raped it, with her help, and we hauled away a Land Rover and a GSA full of parts. The best bit? Sitting in a mobile crane, with a steel "plate" dangling from the jib, over the roof of the donor GSA. I was told by the lads in the yard, just wait for it to settle in a North/South direction (otherwise the cable twisted) and hit THAT button. I did as I was told. Within a nanosecond, the GSA was bent double. Job done.

 

The regret? Not marrying the girl. She was an absolute stunner, and I broke her heart. She was just about perfect. And she liked shite. Her Citroen and my Land Rover made a real sight parked together where we lived. Everything else was too new.

 

I'm happy now, but she's the one that got away. She even came to visit me when I worked at the Yugo/Dacia dealers!