Have we seen this crock of shit yet?

[Mash]

 

I mean seriously, WTF are they playing at? The designers at some of these companies must be on some high strength acid these days.

 

I don't know what's more depressing; the fact that someone signed it off or that people will actually buy it.

 

[trigger]

What is it?, It reminds me of the Suzuki X-90 a bit, I've seen worse looking cars though, I bet it's shit off road.

[HillmanImp]

Its the new Nissan 'Crossover' vehicle (according to the ads on telly), the Duke i think.

 

Fuggin 'orrible

[Rod/b]

Nissan Juke. Which I assume is a crossover of JOKE and PUKE.

 

Jonny Smith reviewed it on 5th gear last night and said it was pretty good.

 

I think it looks shit.

[cobblers]

I was having an argument with my mate about this - he didn't believe that it was actually going to be made!

 

When the Gashqai came out I thought that's it, we've come as low as we can. Surely it can't get worse.

Then they take that low and absolutely kick the bottom out of it with this shitheap!

 

Perhaps it's a running joke - the next car they bring out will be an accurate 20:1 scaled up version of what was left of George Best's liver, with a 25" wheel at each corner and the engine from a k10 micra. The headlights will then have moved so far up the car that they will all be on the A pillars, which will be around a foot wide.

[Alpineandy]

The CashCow wasn't exactly to my taste but I didn't think it was too bad.

But this Nissan 'puke' is in the Ssanyong league of ugliness.

If it' becomes popular then I'll finally have to admit that the majority of the population have no taste at all and are simpletons (especially when they didn't buy the Avantime - which was a cracking looking car).

[Mr Lobster]

For a relatively small car it is also fucking huge.

 

What sort of person will buy that, get it home, look at it and think 'yeh, thats a nice looking car?'

[barrett]

What sort of person will buy that, get it home, look at it and think 'yeh, thats a nice looking car?'

The sort of person who is upgrading from a Peugeot

[Mr Lobster]

I know moden Peugeots are by and large fairly hideous, but next to that even a 3008 looks like a thing of incredible beauty.

 

I mean, an entire design team looked at what they had just done and not one of them thought 'hang on lads, its fucking hideous you know', then, somewhere in senior management at Nissan, everyone thought it was also great.

 

Is there nobody at Nissan who is not taking some pretty hard drugs and realised that THAT is an utter eyesore.

 

I've seen better design work on the inside of a used Pampers.

[Station]

I watched the review on Fifth Gear the other night. He said something like it being a mix between the 4x4 Nissan, a GTR and a 370Z because of the lights. It looks OK under studio lighting (at least unusual), but I bet it looks horrible in the flesh. I think designers are trying a bit too hard, but I suppose it'd be a curiosity car in about 20 years time.

[AXrescuer]

Isn't that the new Nissan Qunt?

[eddyramrod]

the majority of the population have no taste at all and are simpletons

Aha, you've worked it out! Well spotted! Sadly, the people you refer to are the ones with ALL the money and power, which means things will only ever get worse...

[dollywobbler]

the majority of the population have no taste at all and are simpletons

Aha, you've worked it out! Well spotted! Sadly, the people you refer to are the ones with ALL the money and power, which means things will only ever get worse...

Annoying thing is, it isn't their money! Low debt and cheap ol' bangers for me please (even if they do go wrong!).

[eddyramrod]

Agreed, dolly! Only last night a Brit was admiring my Capri when I went out for some milk.... he has a teenage daughter, and I was advising him not to let her sign up for a new 106/Saxo/whatever, but to put her in a cheap old bin for her first car. That's how you learn! It's how I did...

[Alexg]

this car reminds me of the film Starship Troopers

[CIH]

I know moden Peugeots are by and large fairly hideous, but next to that even a 3008 looks like a thing of incredible beauty.

 

I mean, an entire design team looked at what they had just done and not one of them thought 'hang on lads, its fucking hideous you know', then, somewhere in senior management at Nissan, everyone thought it was also great.

 

Is there nobody at Nissan who is not taking some pretty hard drugs and realised that THAT is an utter eyesore.

 

I've seen better design work on the inside of a used Pampers.

It was designed in Europe. France, I think. I wonder if Nissan Japan have even seen it ? They're probably all commiting seppuku if they have.

 

If you think, the headlight positions are dicatted by safety laws, the height of the bonnet in relation to the top of the engine and I imagine suspension towers is. No wonder all cars look hidious and, more or less, the same.

[MK5 Escort]

I remember seeing it several months ago in a car magazine and I remember bursting out into laughter when I first saw it. "A concept which has gone very badly wrong..." I thought. Then I read it was actually going into production...

 

Isn’t the Juke supposed to be a smaller version of the Qashqai? In the pictures, it looks bloody big to me - then again, most superminis today are the same.

 

Anyway, I think it looks absolutely revolting from most angles, especially the front. What exactly is going on with the lights? Are they supposed to be those slittly things sitting on top of the bonnet (or is it the wings...?) or those round efforts, which look as though they've come off an old rally car? Big tyres also mean big bills when it comes to replace them... I also like my cars to come without masses of plastic cladding and door handles which are the same on the back as they are on the front. Awful, awful thing...

 

Admittedly I'm starting to get used to the Qashqai since it's recent revision (the front end of the first one was horrible - and constructed from very cheap plastics), although I still feel it fits into this odd hatchback-4x4-MPV niche which doesn’t sit well with me. The inside of the Qashqai is actually quite a nice place to be and very well made, but I can’t help thinking "Why o’ Why couldn’t you have just made this the next Almera?" and stuck to a more regular external design.

[Milford Cubicle]

I quite like it, it's self-consciously ugly and looks a bit 'sci-fi'. I wouldn't say no to owning one in 15 years.

[ProgRocker]

I like the look of Nissan Juke but I'm not quite sure who it is aimed at.

 

It also looks like it would be a right bugger to park - scuffed alloys ahoy!

[reallyloud]

I'd love to see the design process of this car being developed - so many questions to ask and I'd like to know what was going through the mind of the person who agreed to launch this.

 

The logic of designing something so bizarre is to create a design that is so unique and individual that people know instantly what it is, several radical cars have been launched to a mixed public reaction initially, but have become acceptable - for example the Sierra, 90's fiat multipla, the outgoing 5 Series, Saab 96, Testarossa etc.

 

I suspect once you see them on the road, it will turn your head in a way that a Terrano never did and I guess thats what Nissan are trying to achieve, but this has to rate as one of the ugliest cars ever.

[Polystratus]

If you think, the headlight positions are dicatted by safety laws, the height of the bonnet in relation to the top of the engine and I imagine suspension towers is. No wonder all cars look hidious and, more or less, the same.

This is the problem with anything post 2005 now, I just find newer cars especially the hatches getting too tall with dashes a mile deep, despite it's size I bet the engine bay on that thing is the width of a letterbox with everything jammed under the windscreen area.

[chester drawers]

+

 

 

 

=

 

[boobydoo]

 

I think this looks far better. I quite like the design of these Kias...there seem to be a few of these 'brick-like' designs around currently.

 

 

 

Well, three anyway........

[CreepingJesus]

One passed me on the road this morning, I thought the abhorrent ugliness was just a factor of seeing it in a rain-streaked wide angle mirror. Seems I'm wrong; it really is that hideous.

And what struck me as it passed, was that the 'JUKE' logo seems to be absolutely bloody massive. Is this like airport shop novels, where the author's name takes up half the cover, and is embossed in silver/gold?

Now I'm going to design a car using Etch-A-Sketch, paintball, and MS Paint (while blindfolded) and call it 'CLIVE CUSSLER'. Sorted. It can't be any worse, can it?

[GJR 11L]

tsuifuku

Yep, that's about the size of it.

[pompei]

I think it's the placement of both sets of lights that really let it down. The chunky wheel arches will have a sort of retro chunky Tonka toy effect but there's no escaping the front end which looks like it's melted.

[autofive]

it reminds of a ladybird

 

but ladybirds are small

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Owner profile anyone?

 

I'd guess 28, a couple of kids, bit of designer stubble - basically the trendy, wankerous designer couple from the CSL sofa adverts.

I bet we'll be seeing some old farts driving them though.

[CreepingJesus]

Owner profile anyone?

 

I'd guess 28, a couple of kids, bit of designer stubble - basically the trendy, wankerous designer couple from the CSL sofa adverts.

I bet we'll be seeing some old farts driving them though.

'Twas the latter demographic who passed me in their shiny 10-plate Juke. Surprise surprise.