Is it shit? : your car reviews

[crad]

2003 renault clio mk2 (ph2 facelift): bloody fantastic. it's a 1.2 so no ball of fire but has a good amount of getup and go, just runs out of puff pretty quickly so you'll need to stir the oil. pretty comfortable, and suprisingly spacious inside, especially with the seats down- was able to move all of my uni stuff in it. piss easy to park as the visibilty is superb. stereo is pretty good, although probably needs new speakers, and the CD player has broken again. electrics are a bit flakey, and the sunroofs always leak (hence the application of renault approved tape), but look beyond that and they are fantastic little cars.

2005 mini park lane automatic 1.4: i used to hate this, but having driven it to and from work while the clio was having a bit of work done I have upgraded it from shit to not quite average. decent amount of poke for an auto, and handles pretty well, but is let down by terrible fuel economy, terrible ride quality and being smaller inside than my clio despite being a bigger car on the outside- the boot is pitiful, so it's always got the rear seats down.

2008 ford mondeo estate 2.0: I think it's a tdci?? diesel, pretty quick, very long. not driven it much so can't comment much more. people do get out of the way though, although that's probably more to do with the scratches down both sides of the thing! very comfortable on long journeys, and has cruise control.

[alcyonecorporation]

199? Saab 9000 Turbo effort 

Engine strong, shell jelly. Fixtures shit. Terrible off motorways. 

Summary: incel supercar. 

[alcyonecorporation]

2011? Mercedes A-Class

An utter piece of shit. Rental car; I was 'upgraded'. Staff acted like the MD of the firm was lending me his 21 year old daughter for the day. 

Summary: hatchback for wankers. 

[alcyonecorporation]

1964 Aston Martin DB5

Drove like a P4 with 300 bhp too much. A DB4 is prettier and a DB6 is actually usable. What's this got other than sparklers on fucking track days? 

Summary: fuck James Bond. 

[alcyonecorporation]

1969 the horse you rode in on 

Summary: your mum 

[Jim Bell]

 

The Ssangyong Rexton 290.

The car that nobody asked for and that less people wanted.

A motor vehicle that would have disappointed and confused the motoring press even if it was presented fifteen years before it's launch date.

Looks that not even a homely babushka could compliment. Real head turner. Everyone looks away. 

Handling that would make a fridge  freezer being pushed over gravel proud. 

A ride that manages to feel both too firm AND too wallowy. 

An interior that would make the inventor of plastic weep tears of joy and the inventor of wood weep tears of despair. 

What it lacks in speed, it more than makes up for in complete abscence of economy. 

An engine from a luxury German marque, a gearbox from an American musclecar and axles that hung proudly under the 4x4s that conquered the American west. 

A conveyance that eats happily at the vegan table of the car park buffet and brings the smell of chips wherever it roams. 

The Ssangyong Rexton 290. 

It really shouldn't exist. 

*Clarkson pause*

.......... but I'm glad it does. 

 

[alcyonecorporation]

With a gearbox that manages to be precise and vague at the same time. It slots into the gate precisely but the throws are longer than the time between Preston Guilds. 

[dozeydustman]

Volvo 740 GLE auto estate owned by one of my ex-uni housemates., with whom I’d go to the car auctions and punt on what we’d bought.

Seats were comfy and very armchair like. Found the pedals a little cramped for my size 15s (nothing new here, it’s the same for most cars) so I perfected the left foot braking technique quickly. Seatbelt indicator ticker annoying even though I had my belt on. Pokey in a straight line and smooth riding. Cornering I wasn’t a fan of. Too roly-poly for me, and on the shitty tyres my mate fitted it was tail happy in the rain. Steering over assisted to the point of feeling vague. Big and solid and immensely practical the vague steering and the roly-poly handling put me off owning one.

The later 900 series feel a lot more planted on the road and less rolly but the steering still feels a bit vague IMO.

 

[EyesWeldedShut]

1 hour ago, Jim Bell said:

The Ssangyong Rexton 290.

The Ssangyong Musso GX220.

In ascending order of merit...

2000 kg tow weight (WTF really!)
Plastic dashboard wood to die for.
Permanent 4WD
Fuel consumption to die* for 
Fugly
220 BHP
Straight 6 Mercedes engine.
The car that fathered the Rexton.

Old before its time this car arrived in the UK around 1994. Came with the Mercedes 2.3 petrol and the 2.9 diesel engines coupled to a Mercedes manual or auto box.  Exterior design by a class of 5 year olds who thought they were drawing a door wedge.

Non existent sales figures led SingSong to introduce their GX220, Range Rover beater model (notwithstanding the fact that a Skoda Estelle Fastback could out perform a P38 anywhere, anytime). 6 pot, inline, 3.2 litre petrol, putting out a stunning  220HP - what could possibly be nicer?
I had the pleasure of owning one of these monsters for around five years 2012 onwards. Cornered like a Dubliner at midnight on St. Patrick's Day. Velour upholstery fabricated from old LP cleaners. Rusted like a North Sea Oil Rig and got through more oil that the Rig (but didn't quite burn off as much LPG as the rig).
Lovely, wafty barge of a car - towed well and even had Cruise Control (with more bowden cables that the Goodies' Trandem).

A car 15 years behind the competition - just like @Jim Bell's Rexton
 

[juular]

1995 Peugeot 205 D

Bought over a year ago with the intention of getting it through an MOT then moving it on.

I don't like small cars, I like having a bit of space and prefer to drive a van or a big saloon.  I'm especially not a fan of small rattly French hatchbacks. But I still have this car and drive it daily and that's all you need to know.

Interior : it just is. Things are where they're meant to be and they work. Everything rattles. Nothing has fallen off.

The seats are more comfortable than they have any right to be. 3 hours down the M6 and can still feel both of my legs.

The suspension travel and body roll is comical. It will take any road surface without caring.

Every single panel is dented, and it looks the better for it.

It hasn't been washed in the entire time I've owned it.

The mighty 59bhp N/A XUD sings in the voice of angels. It's normally fairly sedate, but with the fuel pump cranked up it's downright sprightly. It has the torque of a diesel, but revs like a petrol which is just bizarre, and will keep on pulling all the way up the revs. No matter where you go it winds up everyone else who thinks it's a shit, slow 90's banger driven by a potless waster. Nobody parks near you.

It's probably doing 4000rpm at 70mph but it's not that noisy, and it still has plenty left. It will cruise at 90+ on a private motorway and feels unfazed.

It guzzles vegetables and spits the dregs over the windscreens of sanctimonious tesla drivers.

Parts are cheap. Tyres cost hardly anything and go on forever.

The power steering is satisfyingly heavy and precise. Despite the body roll it corners in a way that inspires laughter and never seems to run out of grip.

The brakes are fairly shit even when in top condition. 

The ventilation is absolute shit.

It's such a cheery, eager little car and it puts a smile on my face every time I turn the key.  

[juular]

2013 Mini Countryman

Absolute worst heap of shit I have ever driven.

Car feels absolutely massive, yet there's no room on the inside.  The seats are designed for people under 4ft. You can't see out of it and the mirrors are symbolic.

Clutch pedal needs legs like Mandy Sellars to operate. Absolutely grim as fuck in traffic.

Speedo is on the centre console. WHY.

All of the switches and instruments are designed to look retro and cool, but turning on the wipers is like operating a rubik's cube.

Handling attempts to be sporty, but is just rattly, crashy and wearisome.

Engine attempts to be rorty, but is just noisy. It's noisy at idle. It's noisy at 70mph. It's tiring and grating.

It looks like a tarted up frog.

Fuck off.

[Split_Pin]

2001 Renault Megane 1.4 Petrol

Bought blind from ebay for £160 (back in 2016 when running, driving and MOT'd cars were available for that price) and facing scrapping because of a starting issue before I won it, after a few beers on holiday.

I was in the process of fixing my Corsa at the time (which ended up taking 2 years!) and wanted something to tide me over the winter. 

With 155, 080 miles already on the clock,  7 months MOT and a simple clean of the crank sensor, I ended up keeping it for the next 2 years until my Corsa engine change was complete. Save a sticking caliper it was totally reliable. I even had the belts changed as it deserved to live.

The 1.4 petrol always burst into life with a cheery thrum and it was quicker than it had any right to be. It passed my 'get up the Wilderness Brae in top gear' test without even slowing down at all, in fact it went a bit faster. Gears were smooth although the clutch was maybe a touch sharp but that was almost certainly down to its age. The seats were like big armchairs and superbly comfortable. The torsion bar rear suspension gave a fantastically smooth ride, very French.

It was the entry level 'Authentique' model but still had a radio cassette, variable intermittent wipe, fingertip radio controls, electric front windows and automatic door locks.

Save for a small amount of surface corrosion around the grommets at the back of the sills, it was remarkably rust free. The build quality was excellent too, everything was in the same place as 2001. Even the paintwork looked fresh.

It was very spacious and practical with none of the fragile technology of later Renaults.

Sadly the next time I saw it was 2 years after selling it where it had been utterly ruined and was scrapped shortly after. It gave everything it had for almost 20 years though which is good going.

It was my first venture away from Vauxhalls after 15 years of owning cars and I've never looked back.

[Split_Pin]

I'm going to be unpopular here.

2002 Renailt Clio 172 Sport

First off, for the avoidance of doubt, mechanically, I bought a good one. I paid £1400 for this back in 2018 from a known trusted Clio botherer. It had recently had belts, a full head rebuild, 16 brand new valves and a new clutch. It also had coilivers and a very tasty exhaust.

Let's get the good out of the way. It looked fantastic and sounded great. Good spec too, pretty much fully loaded for a 52 plate car and a small one at that.

That's where it ended. It's a case of the means not justifying the end, in my opinion. Despite it definitely being in good health, it wasn't really that fast. A mid range diesel blobmobile would easily keep up with it.

It broke. A lot. Really stupid, niggly things.

Cogs on the climate control flaps broke so it was stuck on hot. Replacement was... fuck that.

4 injectors

2 radiators

Siezed drivers door lock

Alarm that went off when it rained so I had to run round to the passenger side and manually lock it every time.

And then there was the rot. Jesus fuck these are good at it.

Subframe, all suspension components, strut towers, sills, even the exhaust tunnel was rotten.

Going from the lovely Megane to this was a big disappointment reliability wise.

If it was actually fast I would have forgiven it.

I persevered for 2 years but when the outrigger came apart in my hand I sacked it off and got back into a Rover 75.

Very overrated in my opinion.

Saabs don't handle as well but their speed makes up for it and give so much more in return.

[Split_Pin]

1 hour ago, DavidB said:

2023 Vauxhall Corsa

I had two of these as a hire car recently. The Enterprise fella pointed to the car in the parking lot and I thought this was an Astra. They are slightly bigger than a mk4 Astra I reckon. The first Corsa cars brakes failed stopping on a slip road. The second one didn’t. It was quite nice to drive but Going from a 20+ year old car to this is when you notice how much cars have changed in that time, it felt like I wasn’t really driving it. Was OK though but Lane assist etc are just safety things you don’t need and the only time I needed it was when I was trying to turn it off and I veered over a lane. I pressed a button on the digital speedo and scratched the soft feel stuff with my nail.

Did it have that feature where the revs drop when the clutch is dipped and rise just before the biting point? My mums 22 plate 1.2 has this, something to do with emissions. Took them ages to get used to it. They initially thought there was something wrong with it.

[ProgRocker]

I'll begin my reviews from 2010 which was when I joined this delightful forum. 

1994 Ford Escort (not Orion)1.8 L diesel saloon . Ex Essex constabulary panda car

For £250 and with 152,000 miles it was a damn fine car. So long as you weren't in a hurry but it was so economical. Comfortable driver's seat, somewhat worn down a bit by big burly coppers during the mid to late 1990s. The lightest power steering I have ever experienced. Huge boot. Only owned it for 6 months.

I have written a more comprehensive review of this unexpectedly great car 3 years ago: Unsung hero

 

[dozeydustman]

On 18/06/2023 at 22:00, Andyrew said:

2006 Hyundai Accent 1.4

Is it shit? 

Id say not.  Okay so the styling is certainly on the boring side and the wheels appear comically small. Its certainly not ugly, its just "An Car"

For a cheapish end of the scale car .The build feels very solid when your inside. And given this example gets zero love from its owner ,the grubby interior is holding up well for nearly 140k and theres no rattles or squeaks to be heard. The  Gear shift is clunky yet firm which feels like a very much like i remember the pug 206 feeling ( infact all french cars seem to have that loud hollow clonky gear shift now that i think about it).

For a small 1.4 engine it seems refined, as the gearing feels long keeping the revs down its a fairly quiet car to drive. Possibly good sound deadener aswell.  The suspension is very soft and id guess if pushed hard it would be a bit wooly on the bends.  

Would i buy one?  Yeah if the price was right. 

Pros: cheap, hard wearing. Comfortable

Cons: spares can be a bit hard to find sometimes.

This is teh twin on stepdaughter’s Kia Rio, feels solid enough and is typical Korean stodge, I haven’t found parts difficult to get hold of so far. It’s an easy little thing the drive, but not great comfort levels for someone 6ft 5 - even on it’s lowest setting the seat is a little too high. The diesel is pretty pokey with 110-ish hp

[GeordieInExile]

On 6/18/2023 at 11:25 PM, big_al_granvia said:

2003 Volvo v70 diesel manual, it's a volvo, comfy motorway muncher. Engine has tons of power and torque but very frugal, load space massive, almost everything works, okay it doesn't do twisty roads but if you do bin it then it's built like a tank, turning circle of a ferry

 

Echo this for my XC70, especially the turning circle. First time I had to get it out of a parking space was an eye opener. Barge like driving experience but so very, very comfortable.

[kfsgo]

In order of driving on the euro side...

1999 Volvo S40 Bi-Fuel (2015): Hard to say as it came pre-broken; hitting the brakes too hard would stop the engine which was a startling thing to discover coming up to a roundabout. Exited stage flatbed three days later for a total loss of about £15.

1997 Skoda Felicia 1.3 GLi (2016): Great fun, like driving a go-kart. More interior space than it should have had. Had a sense of humour; the radio caught fire next to a fire station. Fording depth was considerable. Loud and leaky and grumbly, used more fuel than my current means of transport (at 2/5ths the weight, 1/3 the engine displacement), rattled the gear shifter about like it was trying to tell you off and if you got too close to the sunroof you'd get a bath every time it rained. I never fixed a single one of the endless number of problems it came with and none of them ever really got any worse or mattered very much apart from the magic smoke coming out of the noise box, though it was dissolving into a flat burgundy-coloured puddle by the time it left. Seven years on I still kinda miss it. 

2015? VW Up! basic generic rental car spec (2022): An Car without much to obviously recommend it except that seven years and 90,000km into being a rental car it was still essentially as new. Sounded great when pushed hard enough. Had for two months in Portugal, ideal little micro thing for old villages designed at donkey scale. After driving not-euro cars for five years felt very gutless, but that's more about me...

 

[kfsgo]

...and, for something different, the non-euro side:

1999 Chevrolet Malibu LS (2017): 3.1L V6 which made about 120hp by the time I got to it. Pushing the go pedal down resulted in a loud mooing noise and no appreciable change in speed. People razz on American cars but I was pretty much sold on the concept, even if this wasn't a very good example. Fairly quiet, fairly smooth, only intermittently exhibited weird electrical behaviour. Convenience provided by being the colour of road dirt is exceptional in northern BC in spring. Capable of powersliding up the side of a 12ft deep snow-filled ditch in extremis. Had worn out shocks which I never replaced, which somehow resulted in it riding better on bad roads than good ones. 100kph on smooth pavement was intolerable; 130 on rough Yukon chipseal was fine. Fine as long as you kept it under 90, which is often the speed limit up here anyway.

Unfortunately at this point in history GM seem to have been engineering for rear seat room as the front legroom was terrible for the size of the thing; after a couple of hours you had to get out and go for a walk. Objectively it was a heap of shit, but took me thousands of miles through some of the least densely populated places on earth and only ever broke down within walking distance of a parts store, so it gets points for being good-natured.

2012 Chevrolet Impala LS (2019): Essentially the above concept but less crap. 3.6L V6 making about 300hp. Fast in a straight line. Trying to go around corners too hard would cause the wheels to try and roll the tire sidewalls over. All the jokes about landbarges were written for a class of car that thing was just about the last representative of. Attention shifted from rear legroom to front; lots of space for the driver but the seat was so thick and padded that you'd probably have more room in the back of an old Corsa. Mouse-fur velour seats mean that in a dry climate like the BC interior you get zapped, hard, every time you get out. Some incomprehensible bits of cost-cutting like the lack of a folding rear seat meant that it was relegated to cargo trailer duty for a move and supplanted by...

2001 GMC Yukon XL (2021): This is the Suburban with a different badge. Big boat. Not fast, and rather rolly, but solid and reassuring, like driving a particularly giant sofa. Except for the aesthetic qualities of the interior it could have rolled out of the factory the day before I bought it. Returned 15mpg at any speed, whether unloaded or towing its own weight. I regret selling it but I felt guilty beating it to death on bush roads.

2022 Chevrolet Colorado ZR2 (2022): Current chariot. Essentially a hybrid of the Impala and the Suburban with the engine and fuel consumption of the former and the carrying capacity of the latter, more or less. Just high tech enough to be convenient without being annoying. This is the poser offroad version with magic racing shocks, mechanical diff lockers etc, which I'm probably one of 1% of owners that ever get any practical use out of. Drives like an old hydraulic Citroen as a result, corners flat, ignores bumps and will happily cruise down broken-down forest service roads at triple digit speeds, which I do on a regular basis and haven't killed it...yet.

[Spiny Norman]

A car I know many folks on here have had experience of is one of my favourite shite purchases over the last few years, I've had three of them ranging from £50 to £600. Step forward the wonderful K11 Micra. ❤️

75% of my driving is round Glasgow, and as a town car the K11 reigns supreme. Like any decent small hatch it's easy to drive, easy to slot through congested city streets , economical ( I once got one down to 29mpg in the depths of winter doing nothing but sub 5 mile runs for a couple of weeks   but 40 was more common and 50 was possible on a run) easy to park and provided enough creature comforts that I didn't feel I was slumming it too much. The small revvy twincam engine meant that you could always beat something  much more powerful but heavier off the line and I was often across the junction and changing into second before the two ton SUV I was alongside had even started moving.

They have their faults; rust like any 90s car, neglect from a thousand takeaway deliveries, disintegrating gear linkages being the most common but sadly the wake up call for me came when I lightly tapped the rear corner of a Datsun Cashcow that had pulled out in front of me and completely wrecked the front of the car. In a world of dummies driving huge SUVs badly they offer very little in the way of crash resistance and I just don't feel comfortable in something that folds up that easily.

They were fun while they lasted though, proper cheap shite motoring.

[juular]

21 hours ago, juular said:

Everything rattles. Nothing has fallen off.

Since writing this yesterday, a rear shock bush has burst and now rattles like fuck, and my reverse light has fallen off.

[dozeydustman]

I can eliminate a load of cars I just cannot get in so will never be able to test drive. I'm 6ft 5 and 60" chest, 48" waist, 26" across the shoulders, huge arse, massive feet. Am I missing out or am I lucky?

Rover 200/25 R3 & 400/45 HH-R (the previous R8 I wasn't a fan of, nor of its Honda stablemate)
Ford Fiesta Mk1 - Mk4 (Sad face & facelift)
2CV and its siblings. Shame I really want to have a go in one.
Triumph Spitfire & GT6
Most Japanese cars up to the late 1990s
VW Golf Mk1 & Mk2
Every VW Polo I've tried to get in (inc 2016 model)
Smart ForTwo
K11&K12 Micras

I booked a taxi and a white Tesla turned up. Passenger front seat wouldn't adjust enough for me so the wife in the front and I sat across the rear bench much to the annoyance of the driver.
 

[Markeh]

I'll start with cars I've not owned but have driven.

2013 Suzuki Splash 1.0 petrol
Did not like. Engine seems alright enough but didn't handle very well. Horrid gearchange. Did fit in it and was spacious enough though

2018 Suzuki Ignis
Bloody lovely! Shame Suzuki seats are not designed for people with big arses and that I need to carry people/things a lot, otherwise I could quite happily buzz about in one of these. Peppy little engine, handles really well, much better gearchange than its predecessor.

2019 Nissan Micra little petrol turbo thingy
A little small on the inside for me but again, drove very well, handled well, was plenty quick enough - was disappointed to hand it back (was a courtesy car)

2022 Nissan Joke Mk2
I used to request not to have the Mk1 Juke if possible when I got a courtesy car, I never really fit in them properly. The new one is a lot better. Not comfortable enough as a long term vehicle for me sadly.

Then what I've owned:

1999 Vauxhall Corsa 1.0
Basic everything, would feel prehistoric now but back then was ideal. Not particularly at home on the motorway, unsurprisingly.

2004 Renault Megane 1.6
Pretty damn competent. Handled reasonably well, lots of kit, just about enough power, 

2004 Peugeot 206 SW 1.4 - I only drove it maybe 300 yards, I'm not reviewing it.

2007 Fiat Sedici 1.6
I quite liked this. Enough grunt, capable enough, 4WD was a nice bonus. Nice high driving position. This was a reasonably well worn example so didn't handle the best. I'd have another.

2010 Vauxhall Meriva 1.6
Sufficient 'an car'. Pretty unremarkable in all respects. Surprisingly spacious. I'd have another as a station/tip run car quite happily.

2012 Skoda Octavia Scout 2.0 CR
I agreed to sell it half an hour after getting it home, draw your own conclusions. In fairness this was a fairly well abused 250k ex-paramedic/blood car - I believe it's still doing splendid service for a friend of a shiter, and had I known it would have passed it's MOT without much hassle I'd maybe have given it a bit more of a chance!

2018 Nissan Qashqai 1.6 turbo
Bloody wonderful. Handled everything you could throw at it. Surprisingly chuckable on a B-road. Slightly out of date tech was the only downside and had I bought a 2019 or 2020 one that would've given me the two things it lacked (adaptive cruise and CarPlay/Android Auto)

2021 Nissan Qashqai 1.3 MH
Not quite as good. A little lacking in power unless put into sport mode. All the tech's there and the design is great but it's a bigger, softer car than its predecessor and it shows. Also mine's been a pain in the arse. I don't think I'll be having another when this goes back!

[Markeh]

6 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

I can eliminate a load of cars I just cannot get in so will never be able to test drive. I'm 6ft 5 and 60" chest, 48" waist, 26" across the shoulders, huge arse, massive feet. Am I missing out or am I lucky?

Rover 200/25 R3 & 400/45 HH-R (the previous R8 I wasn't a fan of, nor of its Honda stablemate)
Ford Fiesta Mk1 - Mk4 (Sad face & facelift)
2CV and its siblings. Shame I really want to have a go in one.
Triumph Spitfire & GT6
Most Japanese cars up to the late 1990s
VW Golf Mk1 & Mk2
Every VW Polo I've tried to get in (inc 2016 model)
Smart ForTwo
K11&K12 Micras

I booked a taxi and a white Tesla turned up. Passenger front seat wouldn't adjust enough for me so the wife in the front and I sat across the rear bench much to the annoyance of the driver.
 

I'm reasonably close to your proportions, give or take an inch, this list has given me great disappointment. I have managed to just about wedge myself into a pair of old Beetles and I can confirm the current shape Micra can accommodate.

[Soundwave]

1995 Rover 216 SLi



Bought this on a whim back in 2020, largely because my mum used to have one. Sold it to a friend as a stop-gap car in 2022, and bought it back later that year. Still got it, although it's currently in storage for reasons we shall elaborate on later.

So, it's a Rover. Often the mere mention of the badge attracts sniggers of derision, and in some regards perhaps that's not entirely undeserved. However, I'll defend the R8 platform 200/400 to the death because I really like this car.

Exterior

Rover had some lovely colour options in the 90s, and the iconic Nightfire Red is no exception. This example isn't too rusty either, just the odd bleb here and there. The main issue is lacquer peel, its clearcoat has gone missing in literal sheets, particularly on the roof. That being said, that's common for this era of car from any manufacturer and is not a uniquely Rover fault.

Interior

It's got that unique 90s Rover smell. Can't describe it with words, it's just an oddly reassuring scent of decaying 90s plastic. And decay it certainly has, on the door cards at least:



All gone a bit flaccid there, as has the headlining which is drooping significantly. That being said, the dashboard has held up very well, not showing any signs of splitting or cracking as was common with mass market cars of this era, particularly Fords:



The dash is well laid out and not unpleasant to look at. Credit to Honda for putting together an eminently sensible layout and instrument cluster, and credit to Rover for sprinkling a bit of British luxury over it all. The seats are lovely and comfy velour-type affairs, and light years ahead of the plastic tweedy affairs found in most of its competition. Luxury-ish feel with mass market sensibilities is what Rover set out to achieve with this car, and they definitely achieved it interior-wise.

Driving

This is another area the luxury-ish aspirations shine through - it is incredibly comfy over the bumps, on par with something from a size class above. It rides smoothly, yet if you push it through the bends it will respond well. There's a bit of body roll, but it's genuinely enjoyable to chuck around a B-road in addition to being comfortable. One downside is that it could really use a taller 5th gear, as it does get a bit vocal at motorway speeds. The 1.6 Honda D-series engine provides adequate oomph even with several people aboard, although it does like a drink.

Mechanicals

As stated above, the 1.6 Honda unit provides more than adequate power for everyday use and the occasional bit of hoonery. My particular had a worn clutch when I bought it, and still does. The bit point is roughly halfway up the driver's leg, yet it still continues to run. And of course, not being the K-series, there's far less risk of head gasket fa-

... oh. Yes, the D-series does it as well, although not to the same extent as the K-series. That said, HGF usually isn't catastrophic in a D16 motor, in fact it still runs and drives perfectly and doesn't overheat. It's just... oil cooled now, rather than water cooled.  Between this and the clutch (which really does need changing now), I've put the car into storage. I know realistically the scrapman beckons, but I can't bring myself to do it. Why does the scrapman beckon? Well...

Value

Despite the surge in popularity for 90s metal, Rovers of this era remain dogshit cheap. You'd easily get a good R8 for less than a grand even today. I paid £375 for mine in 2020 and it's proven exceptional value for the outlay.



Conclusion

Don't let the badge put you off. It's a Honda Concerto in a tweed jacket. Only turds in the swimming pool as far as these go is most of them don't have aircon, you might struggle for leg and shoulder room if you're exceptionally tall, the slightly-too-short 5th gear and people get complacent with maintenance because "it's a Honda engine M8", which leads to problems.




DISCLAIMER: All the above is a mixture of my personal opinion and experience. If you disagree, that's absolutely fine, there's currently no law against being wrong.  

[dozeydustman]

2 hours ago, Markeh said:

I'm reasonably close to your proportions, give or take an inch, this list has given me great disappointment. I have managed to just about wedge myself into a pair of old Beetles and I can confirm the current shape Micra can accommodate.

My brother’s Mrs had an ‘02(?) plate Rover 45. Both me and my brother could only get in if we opened the sunroof and poked our heads through it. Somewhere there is a photo on a family chat or on Faceache. I’ll have to find it.

EDIT: found the one of my bro sitting in it - he is 4" taller than me

[Metal Guru]

On 20/06/2023 at 12:05, juular said:

2013 Mini Countryman

Absolute worst heap of shit I have ever driven.

Car feels absolutely massive, yet there's no room on the inside.  The seats are designed for people under 4ft. You can't see out of it and the mirrors are symbolic.

Clutch pedal needs legs like Mandy Sellars to operate. Absolutely grim as fuck in traffic.

Speedo is on the centre console. WHY.

All of the switches and instruments are designed to look retro and cool, but turning on the wipers is like operating a rubik's cube.

Handling attempts to be sporty, but is just rattly, crashy and wearisome.

Engine attempts to be rorty, but is just noisy. It's noisy at idle. It's noisy at 70mph. It's tiring and grating.

It looks like a tarted up frog.

Fuck off.

My wife has a 2015 Countryman (Cooper D All4). I quite like it. Wouldn’t say it’s cramped inside (I’m 6’2), clutch is about average not especially heavy, although pedals are a bit small and close together for my size 13s.

Central Speedo is a gimmick but you have a digital readout in front of the driver anyway.

Agree with rear vision not great and ( intermittent) wipers is a faff. Suspension is on the (very) hard side especially if it has run flats.

Diesel (1.6) cruises well at 80-90 but overtaking requires some thought on A roads.

Oh, forgot the terrible stupid shape handbrake.

Edited June 22, 2023 by Metal Guru
Added comment

[juular]

2009 Honda Accord GT 2.2 i-Dtec

The reliable modern.

Does everything pretty well. Is brilliant at nothing.

Goes like absolute fuck. The torque from this motor seems to defy physics. But strangely there's very little joy in it. Engine sounds thrashy pretty much all the time.

MPGs are below average even when babied, the highest we've seen is 44 on a run.

Strange, fidgety ride. Very firm up front but wallowy in the rear. Handles well enough but stubbornly boring. The electric power steering is numb, like trying to drive with a gaming wheel. Has as much entertainment value as a Jobcentre plus.

Very comfortable seats, when you get the driving position right you could sit there all week.

The sat-nav feels like it's from the 1980s.

Already starting to rust quite badly for its age. 

Pretty good an car, but not much more.

[dozeydustman]

2002 Suzuki Ignis.

I won one on a raffle here run by Cavcraft. As an car it was brilliant and surprisingly versatile for its small size. I did fit in it and while not the most comfortable for long journeys it did everything reliably. Quite easy to work on as per my thread on this forum. It was quite juicy though, didn't get much more than 40mpgs out of it even on a long run. Great for a town runaround, but it's not a long distance cruiser at all.

Pros: reliable, great for nipping around town, tonne bag fits in the back. Indicators right. Sprightly engine.

Cons: not the most comfy for a longer journey, the upright driving position didn't suit my wife, nobody could fit behind me in the back, woolly handling, high clutch biting point (3/4 the way up, every Suzuki I've driven has been the same), not that great on fuel for a small 1.3 engined car. Needs good quality tyres to make the best of the ride and handling.

 

Citroen C2.

We're on our second. The first, a Silver diesel I bought from Wuvvum was a great little car to drive, as AFAIK the only car on here to get a his'n'hers Woollarding, but it had some quirks and foibles. Because French? Our current (blue) one is a 1.1 with the TU lump and runs pretty much bob on, but is quite gutless.

Again a great little town car, also good on the twisty A & B roads round here. The 1.1 isn't the best on motorways as it's approaching 4,000rpm and sounds a little busy. The diesel cruised at nearer 3,000rpm. Both the diesel and the petrol are very economical. Surprisingly spacious behind the wheel (both ours are/were SX trim) so you get height adjusting seat and adjustable steering column. Split fold rear tailgate has its uses but I really think a normal hatch would have been better, especially as there's a 4" or so lip with the lower tailgate down. Versatile rear seats which fold flat, or can be shuffled about to make a little more room for your shopping. 'Greengrocer's weighing scale' rev counter is easy to read, but I struggle sometimes with the digital speedo. The air con is fantastic in these.

Pros: cheap to run - around town we get high 40s mpg out the 1.1 and got high 50s out the diesel. On a long run we eked 72mpg out the diesel, but have yet to do a long run in the petrol. Comfy, surprisingly spacious, nice handling and ride, especially with decent boots on. Can get a fair bit in it with the seats down.

Marmite factors - Digital speedo, split tailgate.

Cons - 1.1 is very gutless; it's great up to 3rd gear then in 4th and 5th it runs out of puff easily. Typical French poor quality flimsy feeling plastic trim inside. Needs Lexia to fix most things a standard code reader can't diagnose. PAS is over-assisted on the petrol one.

[dozeydustman]

1996 Ford Escort, as belonging once to my brother. All I remember is it was a P reg.

Not my brothers, his was red. Wikipedia grab.

His was a higher spec but not quite plush as a Ghia, I think it was an LX with a 1.8 Zetec. The engine was good. By the time the Mk6 (which he had) was around, Ford had made everything adjustable (well, at least on this one, it had seat height, column adjust for reach and rake, and a few other goodies) which made it more comfortable for me than the Mk3 & Mk4 I'd driven previously. Trouble is it felt old. The Mk3 was a perfectly adequate car for 1980/1, the average car for the average person. Handling and ride were reasonably good but not outstanding. By the time of the Mk6, it didn't feel that it had progressed with time, whereas the Astra, offerings from PSA, Renault etc were crisper on the road. It was also bugged with electrical issues and was forever getting through front wishbones (this may be my brother's driving as opposed to them in general). The one my grandad owned and my dad's Escort BT works van (S181TOA?) were also plagued with various electrical issues.

Pros - roomier than the previous models, well designed dashboard, comfy seats.
Cons - Felt dated compared to rivals, not that reliable in my experience.

Had I driven a well sorted one of these, my opinion may be different.