Top Tips when viewing a car

[sierraman]

Game for a laugh... let’s hear your top tips when viewing a car

Heres mine... ‘always ask if the mileage is genuine, if the owner says no then it might suggest he has wound the clock back with a drill’

Always ask if there are any rips or tears to the upholstery 

[AnnoyingPentium]

Typically if the seller has the radio up to a rather loud volume or won't shut the fuck up during a test drive then it may be reasonable to assume they're disguising an issue.

[warch]

2 minutes ago, AnnoyingPentium said:

Typically if the seller has the radio up to a rather loud volume or won't shut the fuck up during a test drive then it may be reasonable to assume they're disguising an issue.

What like sneezing every time they change gear?

How about, check when the engine has warmed up by seeing if the little red light on the dashboard has lit up.

[Rust Collector]

‘Tell the seller you’re bursting for a turf out, if they refuse to let you in to destroy their bog then they’re definitely dodgy and just posing outside the address for credibility on the now almost certainly stolen/broken motor’

I think I did actually read a buyers guide once that suggested you ask to use the toilet to check that the address was theirs if they meet you outside…

[sierraman]

Take the car for a long test drive, 30-50 miles isn’t unreasonable to bond with the car. 

[warch]

Another couple of genuine tips I remember from back in the day;

Ask why they’re selling the car, and, If there’s anything wrong with the car;

they’ll almost certainly fold and fess up that they’re selling because the gearbox is full of wood shavings and that the car was never the same after the RNLI dragged it out of the sea that one time.

 

[sierraman]

When you ring up always ask ‘I’m calling about the car’. When they say ‘Thankyou for Contacting Arnold Clark, press 1 for sales, 2 for parts...’ it may be a dealer masquerading as a private seller. 

[warch]

Always look for evidence of the car’s previous use.

Shower curtain rings or paper samples= sales rep.

1.5kg of uncut chang concealed in the door frames and a handgun= freelance chemist.

 

 

[HMC]

Always look for privacy glass/ blacked out windows. Clearly a discerning owner, quite possibly a celebrity or a head of state. 
 

[HMC]

Accessories- always a sign of a no expense spared ownership regime.

Look for- clear clusters, And especially on BMWs - M sport badging and sunstrips. 

[cobblers]

You can tell a lot about a car by what radio stations are stored in memory.

Signs of smoke from the exhaust can mean that the vehicle is burning hydrocarbons in order to produce motive force.

[Bren]

Annoy private sellers with "best price for cash" bollocks but prepare to be rebuked with comments such as " Cash is all I am taking - no magic beans, bitcoin or luncheon vouchers."

[RoverFolkUs]

Always take a blunt poking instrument with you. Not for self defence or owt, but in the current fuel cost crisis, the ideal vehicle would be as lightweight as possible. That's why you're onto a winner if you can poke holes through the sills and arches with aforementioned blunt instrument...

[RoverFolkUs]

Don't buy a Peugeot 107 as they are particularly bad just like all French cars.

You'd be better off buying a Toyota Aygo as they're Japanese. 

Yes, I have heard someone say that before 🤦‍♂️ 

[RoverFolkUs]

Make sure to ask as many frivolous questions as possible, especially with cheap cars as they're most likely to have hidden problems

Check the air con works, ask the seller when it was last regassed

Check the MOT history, if it ever gets an advisory twice in a row then that definitely means it hasn't been looked after (🙄)

Make sure all the accessories work like radio, heated screen

Spend £150 on an AA inspection

Once you're happy with all the above points, ensure to make an insulting offer. If the seller is asking £500, they probably only want £400 so be sure to waste your time and theirs by opening negotiations at around £250

[RoverFolkUs]

Ask if the clutch has been replaced ✅

Ask if the cambelt has been done ✅

Ask if the timing chain has been replaced ✅

Ask for full service history down to the bulb and wiper blade, particularly important with sub £500 cars ✅ 

Look underneath and check for signs of surface corrosion. This could lead to costly repairs in as little as 3 years ✅

Make sure the tyres are a matching set of premiums constructed from the finest of compounds with at least 27mm of tread. "Using a quick 20p hack you can ensure your tyres are safe, if the coin is not engulfed by tread then the tyres are unsafe and need to be replaced immediately. Motorists took to social media to praise the money saving hero - Martin Lewis for sharing this tip" - ✅

 

[warch]

Insist on evidence of that belt change even if it’s chain drive and negotiate money off for its replacement.

[Split_Pin]

Make sure you find a car priced to reflect that the bodywork has a few bodywork imperfections. Make doubly sure these are fully disclosed in the advert. Turn up and act like a simpering twat, saying that it will cost X amount to fix and make an offer with a ludicrous deduction.

The owner telling you to do one just means they'll think about it and call you tomorrow to accept.

[Split_Pin]

Take the oil cap off when it's running as that literally tells you everything you need to know and makes you look knowledgeable.

[Spiny Norman]

Be very wary of any car presented with sheafs of paperwork for previous servicing, recent clutch, brakes, battery, timing belt, exhaust, tyres etc because it's obviously a money pit and is best avoided.
You want a car with no condemning evidence of any expenditure at all to guarantee you safe economical motoring.

[New POD]

18 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

Take the oil cap off when it's running as that literally tells you everything you need to know and makes you look knowledgeable.

You mean the 710 cap ? 

[HMC]

Always kick the tyres. Because.

[steveo3002]

1 hour ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Don't buy a Peugeot 107 as they are particularly bad just like all French cars.

You'd be better off buying a Toyota Aygo as they're Japanese. 

Yes, I have heard someone say that before 🤦‍♂️ 

then they get in a rage when you point out theyve never been anywhere japan and all made in czech

[steveo3002]

always ask about "oh what oil does it take for top ups?"    if they look stunned and "wots oil m8 "then bad sign ,   or "ah yes it uses 100cc of mobil 1 for 7k miles " 

[HMC]

Start it from cold and mercilessly rev the engine whilst looking at the exhaust with the door open and pulling a face. This tells the vendor-

a) Your are an expert

b) The only way this car will sell is if it is MASSIVELY chipped down in price.

[HMC]

Look through the service history whilst screwing your face up. Identify that it’s first service (12 years ago) was due on time but slightly over on the mileage. Threaten to WALK AWAY, and then offer 1/3 of the asking price.

[dozeydustman]

Bring a fully* working* XBox with you, preferably in a discount shop bag for life (Home Bargains, PoundLand) to help sweeten the blow of your low offer.

[dozeydustman]

Also (and this is genuine) view in or after heavy rain. Helps weevil out bad seals around doors and sun-roofs etc

[CreepingJesus]

Study the dipstick deposits very carefully - if you wear glasses as I do, propping your gegs up on your head helps massively - be sure to be seen inspecting the sills and door bottoms with an ostentatiously large magnet, all while firing the seller the odd knowing glance. Once you've established your superiority over the quivering beta wreck seller, poker face them while you lowball the hell out of them. 

Then, once you've bested them in combat bought it, a big smile and a hearty hand shake makes sure they'll think you're fantastic, and the transaction was top notch.

Tell you what, a sound knowledge of Sun Tzu and Machiavelli comes in handy. It took £1300 off one of my Volvos, and the seller gave me a tenner back for petrol, when I picked it up. 

[Rust Collector]

34 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

Also (and this is genuine) view in or after heavy rain. Helps weevil out bad seals around doors and sun-roofs etc

I used to like doing handovers on used cars in the rain - ‘God’s polish’ 😅