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Ebay Tat Volume 2 - Sadly deceased.


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Posted

Can everyone in the North West area please look out of the windows immediately? Only I've lost the will to live and wondered if anyone had seen it floating past.

$(KGrHqJ,!okE63(r0n(0BPF!-m!Byg~~60_3.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/LANDROVER-DIS ... 19ccc1444a

 

'blah blah blah...THERE IS A TOW BAR THATS ADJUSTABLE I WILL LEAVE THE ADJUSTABLE BIT ON IF I GET A FAIR PRICE OTHERWISE IT COMES OFF...blah blah blah... IF IM BOARING YOU IM EVEN BOARING MYSELF*...blah blah blah.

 

He's also trying to offload a Merc 190E and an old Astra van. I'd quite like the van but wouldn't fancy being stuck at this fruit loop's house for three weeks whilst he explained the external induction cycle of a three stroke Range Rover overhead gudgeon pin.

 

*Understatement of the year.

Posted

Should really start a 'genuine' eBay bargains thread. This would fit in nicely I reckon, seems a decent thing to lob £495 at, especially as it has a decent amount of MOT.

$(KGrHqFHJCUE7zK)bsOQBPH!K0kQPg~~60_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1979-MERCEDES ... 3cc14384ae

 

Plus you could do 'Social Housing Complex' wedding's to earn a few quid on the side. I reckon it'd probably only cost about £8.91 in fuel from here to Walton or Altcourse so the lucky bride could spend ten minutes of non-touching contact with Dave The Axe before she was returned back to The Pig & Knife for the reception where she could give the best man a hand shandy in the ladies.

Posted

ATTENTION ALL COCKLICKERS! YOUR NEW CHARIOT AWAITS:

 

$(KGrHqJ,!oEE63WY9D-sBPE1QMCibg~~60_12.JPG

 

$(KGrHqNHJ!0E7)yGO(LjBPFJ)MZIpQ~~60_12.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-318I-1997 ... 0974702528

 

The head rest have been cut into so I could fit DVD screens, these will need replacing and the back seat got bitten by my dog so needs replacing to, also I tinted the windows with a spray on tint but this has all cracked for some reason I do not know??

 

Awesome standard of work all round.

 

Please note the first pic is not what the car looks like, it was a pic of how I intended the car to look like

 

I think your problem was that you set the bar too high and could never fulfil your own sky-high ambitions

 

the rear lights are Lexus lights the only problem is the N/S has water In it

 

Thats not a problem, all lexus lights have this, its due to them being made in china by people who laugh their bollox off as they you exchange your hard-earned for a set of shitty-ass lights that look wank and are basically not even fit for purpose.

Posted

 

what a dreamer this guy is, he only paid £500 off the bay no more than a fortnight ago!!! He's done absolutley nowt to it, not even been arsed to fire it up. I cant understand why he thinks he's gonna get 1600 quid when the previous sella got less than a third of that, advertised in the same place to the same people.

 

I wouldnt swap mine for that one, and mine was 450 quid.

 

As for 'good ones are worth £10k', utter balls! I reckon you'd struggle to get 3k even for a minter, if one exists, which seems unlikely.

 

Verdict: CLUELESS.

 

Possibly thinking that some dimwit that didn't see it last time will talk him down to a price which is still significant;y more than what he paid for it I guess?

Posted

The fuckwit Discovery owner and the imbecile BMW/AX owner should both be chained to that mind numbing 'Amphibious' shit pile for an offshore Viking burial!

 

Now that's well worth paying £20 to see. In winter... :D

Posted

$(KGrHqRHJCoE7zP093cYBPFfDu,ywQ~~60_3.JPG

 

How wonderful is this? Stored for 20 years and only needs a bit of fettlement before it sees the road again. My dad had a van version when I was younger, I spent much of my childhood stuck in the back of it as we went on family holidays to Wales, I even reveresed it flat out into a customers house when I was learning to drive (aged 15)

 

Anyway, this car version is only 150 squid. I'm very tempted! Prior Maxi and Volvo shaped commitments prevent me from bidding however.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1984-CITROEN- ... 46003eb4bc

Posted
Oh dear Jesus.

 

GREAT PRICES PAID FOR ALL SCRAP VEHICLES CARS, VANS, MOTORBIKES ETC

 

My comment about fucknuts turning perfectly usable cars into completely useless pickups that aren't in any way legal to drive on the road (nor can ever be) stands. What a waste of chequerplate, just think - it could be patching up the bottom 18" of a 1971 Defender TDi or something

Posted

It's a K reg as well!

 

I'm doing my first ebay search of cars on my list in quite a while, so there may be some ture gems turned up - like this

 

Althgough photos show that car is part dismantled, the car will be reassembled before auction ends

 

Oh brilliant, a Renault Espace that's been put together by knobs... twice.

 

$(KGrHqJ,!iIE8JuD-2gpBPGtR(GSf!~~60_3.JPG

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Renault-espac ... 220wt_1185

Posted

Um, is it bad to admit that I don't mind that Mondeo? For a start, it looks like it might actually have been registered correctly as a pick-up. Secondly, the lines of it are actually not bad at all. Sure, the rear cab window looks shite, the bodykit was a mistake and the rear lights are a poor effort, but I have seen much, much worse!

Posted

I should imagine that the Kawasaki Green Mondeochero might have seriously restricted legroom.

Posted

I was about to say I thought the mondeo looked alright until I saw the pictures of the back. They should have stuck to the Mondeo rear lights and Si front spoiler.

Posted

Check this freak out.

$(KGrHqRHJBoE7yLOZpbWBPEsPVss+w~~60_12.JPG

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/FIAT-PUNTO-MK ... 27c2a50082

 

'NO MOT BUT APART FROM A CRACK IN TOP OF MY HEAD WHERE MY BRAIN GOT SUCKED OUT AND SWAPPED FOR A CHIMP'S ONE, A BIT LIKE THAT FILM 'ALL OF ME' STARRING STEVE MARTIN BUT USING A PRIMATE INSTEAD OF SOME SNOTTY BIRD, IT MIGHT PASS. BUT I DOUBT IT.'

 

'THE BACK LIGHTS ARE MODELLED ON MY GENITAL WARTS.'

Posted

Not in a hurry to get anywhere?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Iveco-Ford-Ca ... 3cc09cf18a

 

Here is a picture of the interior. Please note anything that may look electrical (indicators, switches, lights, computer etc) is purely for decoration purposes only.

 

$(KGrHqR,!hwE7D(MyEe4BPBsEMG8Fg~~60_12.JPG

 

'This is the 75E14 model which means the 0-50mph is measured in months. The wiring is made of slightly damp spaghetti and will combust at any given time'.

Posted

$(KGrHqJHJBwE7y5E3pBdBPHCj-o-Zw~~60_12.JPG

Merc 320 LWB, for when you absolutely, positively must be driven to the shops for a pint of milk and 20 Regals.

 

$(KGrHqFHJBcE7)y6+CbqBPCv,T3t9g~~60_3.JPG

V70 for £550 sounds reasonable enough, but the ad just sounds a bit weird to me...

I was told by the previous owner that the car was in good condition, but within 4 days the head gasket went. You can make up your own mind about the car being in good condition. I put another engine in the car in August, and it was running fine.

Last 2 HGF's I dealt with, one involved lobbing a new HG in, the other needed a quick skim o' the head too. But a 'new' engine? ORLY? SRSLY? FKOF.

the engine service light comes on when you first start the car, and goes off after about 10 mins, i suspect that this has something to do with the car misfiring when cold, possibly just dirty or needing plugs changed,

They all do that sir...it's called "Needing A Service".

 

$(KGrHqF,!nkE8VNZy--0BPGr7etT8w~~60_12.JPG

Ok red-blooded male type chaps, Kleenex at the ready, it's a project Alfa 75 3L. Let's be honest, it'll either end in love custard, or tears, so anyone winning this honey's gonna need 'em!

$(KGrHqNHJBcE7)u7Icn4BPH(jWf5fg~~60_12.JPG

I freely admit to looking at this pic, and wondering how many twirls of the wheel it would take to save the inevitable powerslide, off the roundabout at the far end of the bypass. And whether A) I'd end up backwards on the High School hockey pitch, or B) it'd still be sideways at the other end of the bypass... :lol:

 

$(KGrHqFHJCsE70J)sksQBPGT1Z2-nQ~~60_12.JPG

V6 Scorp, unfinished project. Looks nice enough, mystery engine fault.

 

$(KGrHqJHJDgE7zIJHRzQBPDVuB!jH!~~60_12.JPG

Stag Ear RS4V project car/non-runner. What is it with 'projects' tonight? Is 'project' the new 'spares or repairs'?

 

$(KGrHqNHJCcE63YFHhOUBO0os+l8zw~~60_3.JPG

Puggy 205 Rallye, rare enough in itself; but whyohwhyohwhy does someone feel the need to lob a GTI6 engine in it? Fucking 'projects', I dunno... :roll:

 

$(KGrHqV,!oEE8VRLFcS1BPHGq!Ts,Q~~60_3.JPG

Sorry Alfa, I've found another object of affection to claim my Kleenex: this SRi 130's much more me. It's not you, darling, honestly; it's me. It's all my fault. I'm just not that cultured you see, I've been living a lie. I want to understeer off the roundabout and thro' the hedge onto the High School hockey pitch. I love you, really, but my heart's not in it; maybe we can still be friends, tho' eh? You and me and the Cav can go out for some fun in a McDonald's car park, and we'll look back on it and laugh, once everything's settled down...

Hang on...it's a fucking 'project'. Is life trying to tell me that having a sensible car, which runs perfectly is somehow an incomplete life? Oh bollocks, this spells trouble.

Posted

Hey, that Mondeo pick-up/bogey is near me if anyone wants me to go down and laugh at it.

 

I can't help feeling it'd look much better if they'd just hacked the back end of the Mondeo off completely and replaced it with the bed from a P100, which is surely what Ford would have done anyway if they'd wanted to build a Mondeo-ute?

Posted

CJ -

 

If Mr eBay had defiled an actual French market 205 Rallye, then I could understand your concern. They were homologated screamers and are now very rare.

The Rallye we got was a glorified XS. TU engine, standard suspension, sticker package, nowt special. I think a GTI-6 engine in a lighter-than-a-GTI one six-shell would be fucking hilarious.

 

Provided the brakes had been uprated and there was a GTI rear beam.

 

PS. You're going to fucking hate one of the cars I've got once it's finished. Just warning you now. It's French and way rarer than a UK 205 Rallye. Still worthless shite though. Should go well, all things considered.

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