Autoshite Head-to-Head Showdown

[Electric Leyland]

This comes from a long daydream on the train this morning. Leyland, well need I say more, as a one off marque by itself maybe wins. But Japan offers the biggest choice of prime tat. But then Eastern European cars have the defining reputation of shite. And then what about the likes of Daf, Lancia, VW-Audi or even Fiat? French car design quirkiness had me initially thinking B would walk it for me, but in the end I thought no, option C, as it houses most of my top 10 uber-tat faves (Simcas, Tagora, Rancho to name a few).How about you?

[RedSparrow]

Ah! Tricky question.So tempted to choose BL or Rootes. But they did have some good designs, just poorly executed.My answer has to be Eastern Bloc stuff.Badly designed, mass produced, undesireable, poorly equippednoisy, slow, uncomfortable, near unobtainable to the general populous at the time, same models build for 40+ years, some based on outdated western junk, colours limited to beige, lime green etc...I'm sure there are more reasons!I still love commie cars though!

[pogweasel]

BMC/BL/ARG/Rover whatever, will always win HANDS DOWN, on the basis of 40 years of monumental cock-ups.

[RedSparrow]

Ah! Tricky question.So tempted to choose BL or Rootes. But they did have some good designs, just poorly executed.My answer has to be Eastern Bloc stuff.Badly designed, mass produced, undesireable, poorly equippednoisy, slow, uncomfortable, near unobtainable to the general populous at the time, same models build for 40+ years, some based on outdated western junk, colours limited to beige, lime green etc...I'm sure there are more reasons!I still love commie cars though!

[seth]

Hmm, I don't think I'd vote for the French makers as while some of their cars are undoubtadly shite I think they made too many that are technically interesting. Shite should be boring stodge.Leyland/BMC. Mostly very traditionally engineered cars, not necessarily in a good way. And some very plain styling.I think the Eastern Block has to win it for me. Autoshite is about base spec, cheapo, no frills attached motoring and they score top marks here, even taking other peoples cars (eg Fiats) and making them even less desirable.

[Station]

35% #120% #215% #310% #410% #510% #6I think British tend to iconify (if that's a word) shite. I can pick out ten from my head that are 100%!France has produced things like 104, etc. Agree they're more quirky than shite.

[nigel bickle]

I've got most types in that range.....I reckon Eastern bloc cars fit the mandate,closestl . They'll always get you there -but you just never beleive they actually will.Marvellous

[Guest]

I'd say Rootes-Chrysler just for the sheer percentage of their range being devoted to shite.

 

I really can't think of anything they've produced which wouldn't fit firmly into the Autoshite bracket.

[Electric Leyland]

Wow, 15 votes in so far and none whatsoever for Oriental tat? I though the land of Datsuns and Colts would be walking it by now.

[Spottedlaurel]

I went for BL etc, as they define the British shite experience.

[Pete-M]

My vote went to the French.I love stuff like the Pug 604, R30, CX, and the mighty Tagora on the basis that when it actually worked, it was pretty damn good. Ok, I'm making an exception for the Tagora.The British screwed it up, Jaguar, Rover and Triumph all had a few really good cars surrounded by tat. I have no yearning whatsoever for a Marina / Ambassador / Princess / MGB / Allegro / Toledo / Sherpa / six pot SD1.I love P5s, P6s, SD1s, XJs, and the quicker Triumph stuff. Thing is, a P5B Coupé in good condition isn't shite, neither is an SD1 Vitesse or a tidy XJ12. The best Pug 604 STi on the planet will always be viewed by the masses as being shite.

[Cavcraft]

Tricky that as could have voted for all of them. Think I went for the Chrysler option as they made some ubersh1te, though others did too of course. Certainly something like an Alpine would sum up AS nicely to me.

[M'coli]

There's no Ford option. I think I'd have to select all of them anyway!

[pompei]

Scratches chin.Maybe we should get the guys at the Iraq inquiry to examine this problem when they've done.

[Electric Leyland]

There's no Ford option. I think I'd have to select all of them anyway!

Realised afterwards that I'm missed out Ford and Vauxhall. But I don't their either would rank as highly as those on the list. Or, chuck Ford and Opel into Germany for option 6 if you had to.

[VWPowered]

Simca/Talbot pour moi, merci A+

[seth]

There's no Ford option. I think I'd have to select all of them anyway!

Realised afterwards that I'm missed out Ford and Vauxhall. But I don't their either would rank as highly as those on the list. Or, chuck Ford and Opel into Germany for option 6 if you had to.

An Autoshite poll clearly should be slightly half-arsed

[Electric Leyland]

I'll keep dipping in and out of the poll tinkering about with it and adjusting bits for a while until it breaks down permanently or just runs out of gas.

[RedSparrow]

An Autoshite poll clearly should be slightly half-arsed

And have an option to vote for Cats.

[Spiny Norman]

Hmmm, tricky one for me because I really love old Euro-tat like Fiat 131s and Mk1 Audi 80s but they're not really shite though, I don't think.

The East European / Commie cars are too easy a target and old Volgas & Tatras are well worth having nowadays, so I couldn't pick them.

I've no real experience of Rootes gear other than a couple of rusty clattery old Alpines & Solaras which seemed decent enough cars for their day.

 

No, the ultimate shite has to be BL. Even when they designed something quite interesting and desirable like the XJS or Rover SD1 they managed to cock it up with huge build quality issues and the sort of dealer ambivalence that Alfa dealers could only dream of, thus ensuring their place in history.

Oh, they've gone now, haven't they

[Lukas]

That´s a very interesting topic! I think you from the UK will vote completely different than for example I from mainland-Europe because you´ve had a different appearance of the streets in the 70s, 80s and 90s than we had. All your UK-cars that are definately shite like the Allegro, the Austin Maxi or other obscure UK-cars are almost unknown here, only very few sold new and extinct now, so you may have of course a different opinion on shite. I´ve never seen an Allegro in real live for example. To me, the typical "shite-car" (there´s no equivalent for that term in German) is from eastern Europe or Russia, just because all the obscure UK-cars are not existent here.

[brammy777]

+1 vote for BL/BMC for me, its just the fact that most people apart from us would view them as the utter dregs of the autoworld. Its ridiculous of course, the fact that the media pretty much decided what we should all think about a company which just needed alot more investment. They probably survived a little bit longer than logic would have let them to be fair. And lets be honest, who doesnt love seeing an Allegro out and about?I do have a liking for every other cars in this poll though, if I hadnt gone for BL it would have been Jap cars. But I think they just arent as shite as BL.

[Ratdat]

I think that although the japanese have certainly made plent of cars that look like they're shite, they were generally too well made and reliable to actually be shite. For me eastern bloc stuff seems to be truly shite, due to every aspect of them being a bit crud, from styling to build quality, right through to the driving experience itself. Even BL's styling is more acceptable than a lot of eastern bloc stuff, although I supect reliability may actually be worse

[Rusty Pelican]

Mulled this over for a good while , BL stuff is proper shite but it did sell rather well , eastern block stuff however badly chucked together is just too reliable , Jap stuff is also too reliable ( and water soluble ) anyway i went for Rootes / Chrysler a haphazard range of boring cars with badge engineering gone mad , they tried inovation once with the Imp which flopped on sales big time .

[MrRegieRitmo]

That´s a very interesting topic! I think you from the UK will vote completely different than for example I from mainland-Europe because you´ve had a different appearance of the streets in the 70s, 80s and 90s than we had. All your UK-cars that are definately shite like the Allegro, the Austin Maxi or other obscure UK-cars are almost unknown here, only very few sold new and extinct now, so you may have of course a different opinion on shite. I´ve never seen an Allegro in real live for example. To me, the typical "shite-car" (there´s no equivalent for that term in German) is from eastern Europe or Russia, just because all the obscure UK-cars are not existent here.

See that's an interesting point for me, because I often thought about how other countries viewed our old shite....like for instance I often thought about how an old French car on British plates would be received driving around France. I imagine that a foreign plated Marina or Allegro driving over here would be viewed with astonishment! But then you say that old British cars didn't really have a market on the continent, which seems strange to me as I'm sure we exported plenty of cars to more than just Malta! I mean it's true us Brits mainly bought Brit cars back in the days when we were able to do that, but I'm sure there were still plenty of French, German, Italian etc etc cars over here back in the 70s, 80s & later!?!

[Lukas]

British cars did sell quite good in the 50s and 60s from what I was told, but in the 70s, they became more and more uninteresting and undesirable here. Of course Jaguars, MGs, big Rovers and Triumphs are quite common in classic car-circles, Land Rover is still popular, but such cars as an Allegro, an Avenger or those other obscure and quite strange looking british cars you all are posting pics all the time are completely not existent here. I´ve never seen a Metro too for example.

[Spottedlaurel]

I´ve never seen a Metro too for example.

Pogweasel would dream of being able to say this!

[pogweasel]

Lies. I love Metro's.

[MrRegieRitmo]

Lies. I love Metro's.

The Newcastle & Paris ones?