Cars of Crackers - Boat.

[SiC]

14 minutes ago, Crackers said:

The autobox is super reluctant to kick down, and even at nearly full throttle it'll change up by 5k.

That's definitely not like mine. On the motorway full throttle without hitting the kick down point will have it drop to at least 5th. Kickdown will drop it to 4th or even 3rd if you're accelerating hard when slow enough. Flooring it will have it change literally just before it hits the 7k rev limit.

I'd film the behaviour ... but that rev limit is near/above the legal speed limit in many gears. Like doing 40 behind some A-road dawdlers, pull out, floor it to kickdown, overtake two cars bunched together, pull in and then look down to see you're about to hit 75+ 60 (of course) while it's still pulling hard.

[Crackers]

11 hours ago, SiC said:

Flooring it will have it change literally just before it hits the 7k rev limit.

Yeah, it does this and feels quick enough when you're rinsing it. Maybe I'm just too used to having the Saab and Jag that felt like they were properly reeling in the horizon in the middle of the rev range, but it doesn't feel "lusty" like you'd expect a big 3 litre lump to. 

[Matty]

I know there'll be a weight penalty compared to ours (z4 coupe) but the n52 we have goes like a stabbed rat almost in any gear and any revs. I think its a jewel of an engine. Maybe @SiC could be right about the DISA valves? In fairness ours is a manual but I wouldn't expect the auto to blunt things that much.

[Crackers]

Mate. My luck with cars, christ! 

It's been hit in the front end now!

[richardmorris]

Looks like it may polish out. I’ve a meguirars rotary thing if you’re in bagshot at all. 

[Split_Pin]

Aye that will polish out and at least it hasn't pushed the bumper out of alignment.

[Crackers]

Right, it's time for the annual "what do I buy next" question. 

Criteria: Estate or larger coupe, quick, 35mpg driven sensibly, cruise control, not totally bland inside, good stereo. About £6k tops. £400 tax ish.

Petrol or diesel considered, if diesel it has to be a 6-cylinder but I'd make exceptions.

 

Thoughts so far

There aren't any good Saabs left for low money (sadface  ) - If I had a decent budget I'd get a 9-5 Estate and do tthe mods I'd like, but that's out of range at the moment. 

BMWs? I dunno man. I like this 3 series when it works, but the powertrain leaves me cold. I'd have a 3 or 5 series, 30d or 35d. Would love a 550i but I can't afford the fuel. 

Mercs are out of the question because the ones I like are too fragile. 

There are a few V6 diesel Audis within budget, A4s and A6s. Don't suggest a TT because I don't like them.

I like Volvos but I don't know enough about the Geartronic boxes to know which ones to avoid. 

Alfa 159s look lovely but I wouldn't run one unless you could convince me it won't ream me every month. 

Beyond that I'm running out of ideas. 

[HMC]

On 15/04/2025 at 19:56, Crackers said:

Watermarked because am I fuck paying £15 for a digital photo of myself. 

But here's my Ringpiece doing its thing. 

Great photo, that looks fun/  potentially scary with the wet track?

[EyesWeldedShut]

9 minutes ago, Crackers said:

Estate or larger coupe,

Largish Volvo XC thing for the estate immediately comes to mind but I have no clue on the GearTronic either.

I saw a 2012(ish) era Laguna Coupe on the road today - one of those?

Less-than-fragile MB could be a W209 CLK320 - finding one that's not got crispy appendages could be tricky though

If I was spending your money and was happy to drop down the MPG a bit then XKR or CLK500 please

[Crackers]

22 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

XKR

One of my dream cars, but I can't afford to run one daily. I'd love to buy a really nice (read: expensive) late one as a toy though. 

[angle]

1 hour ago, Crackers said:

There aren't any good Saabs left for low money (sadface  ) - If I had a decent budget I'd get a 9-5 Estate and do tthe mods I'd like, but that's out of range at the moment. 

I have owned precisely one Saab before, but this one seems like value - a bit scruffy but seems to have the right stuff done to it (including a noobtune):

3 Owner

Loads of paperwork and invoices for work carried out previously

Fully stamped service booklet up to 109k miles.

Saab wallet

118,998

1 key

Tow bar with genuine Saab electrical connections (Super rare had to import from Europe) not just cut and spliced

1 Year MOT

Full service when I purchased it in Feb 24 including oil + filter, Air and Pollen filter. New spark plugs and a DI Cassette

Sump dropped during service and de sludged

Mods:

Stage 3 Noobtune running approx 300hp+ (no printout) with the following supporting mods:

Do88 Intercooler

Do88 Radiator

TD04-15T Rebuilt with Mellet Core

Silicone hoses and solid air delivery pipe

Upgraded fuel pressure regulator 

3" V band downpipe, 200 cell sports car and stainless Jetex exhaust (Loud)

Bilstein B4 Shocks front and rear (less than 1k Miles Old)

Abbott Racing Lowering Springs front and rear (less than 1k miles old)

314mm Front Brake upgrade with almost new pads and disks

Ultra Racing Front suspension Strut Brace

New Droplinks and top mounts

Abbott Racing Front Floor mats

Thule Roof bars (Can't unlock them)

Some bad points- 

Front wing is a different colour and we had to change it quite quickly so didn't do the best job (see pictures). Could do with a replacement, they're available pretty cheap

Marks on bodywork some dents and scrapes as expected 

Exhaust is super loud (Does have a sports cat) and its not stainless so could be replaced. I do have another smaller diameter Stainless exhaust if you're interested

No stereo. Has aftermarket wiring prep kit. 

https://www.facebook.com/share/1BPcpXeKkv/

[Crackers]

1 hour ago, angle said:

I'd seen this one elsewhere and have it in my mind. It'd be a great base for what I want to do, but I don't have the motivation or time to actually do all that. They are utterly cavernous in the boot though...

[Crackers]

Been out on a couple of runs in the New Forest with the Blue recently. It's fun, but I've done my year's quota of gearchanges in a week!

Here it is with a freshly restored twin. I'll keep the dents thanks, but the other one's doors close with a pleasing lack of "put your entire body weight into slamming it". 

 

Fire engine/mobile pump 3 cars back with the big tyres was cool AF. I want one. Also had sirens and two-tone horns which means it wins, hands down. 

In other news:

BMW continues to plod along in a dependable but uninspiring fashion.
Jaguar still broken and can't make contact. I've forgotten I own it several times. It's gone beyond ridiculous and is entering the realms of Fucking Stupid. 
They're both due an MOT soon, so that'll be fun*. 

[Crackers]

Incoming.

More in a few hours. 

[Crackers]

Oh christ. 

You join me on an bus. This can only mean one thing, that it's a collection day. 

Since I am never awake at 7am, we can reasonably conclude that this is a long distance mission. 

We start with PC=1 and plan for no additional movements until home. 

[Crackers]

Leg 2. Southern, in peak commuter time 🤢

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Crackers said:

Leg 2. Southern, in peak commuter time 🤢

Commiserations, and chodspeed

[Crackers]

Urgh. 

[Crackers]

Quick dash to KGX and onto an Azuma, no time for a photo. 

[hairnet]

smoke 

just no

[Crackers]

Still going. 

[hairnet]

fog on the tynes ahl mine.......

oh wait

[Crackers]

Never been here in my life. 

[Crackers]

Whey aye man. 

[MAF260]

Heading for a certain green MG wagon...?

[Crackers]

Next bit. 

[Split_Pin]

It definitely is the ZT!

[Dan29]

14 minutes ago, Split_Pin said:

It definitely is the ZT!

Excellent, that'll bring it a lot closer to me 😄

[Crackers]

No prizes for guessing, here it is. 

Bloody long way home so I'll update later or tomorrow. 

[Split_Pin]

Just now, Crackers said:

No prizes for guessing, here it is. 

Bloody long way home so I'll update later or tomorrow. 

You'll only feel like you've covered ten miles!