The grumpy thread

[Guest]

Apologies if I revert to my old expletive filled form briefly.At the moment, there is a person on my team at work who is pissing me off ROYALLY.It's a shame as we used to get on well. However, he's got at least ten years on most of us (and that's just me) and seems to think that with greater age comes a pecking order. He got seconded off the team and became a trainer over the Christmas ramp up. This isn't a managerial role, but it doesn't bother him. He seems to think he can do what he wants and speak to you how he sees fit, when the converse is true. He's so fucking lazy our boss has taken jobs off him because they don't get done.He chats utter shit to the point of it being difficult to take anything he takes seriously. Sometimes he's so far off the mark I've wanted to gub him in.Take today for instance - he's not far off 22 stone and tells me whilst I'm eating a chocolate muffin that I NEED TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. He's right, I do, but I'm not morbidly obese for my height. Merely obese. Pot calls the kettle black. We had a blazing row at 7.30 am last Friday because he keeps sitting at my computer to do his work. I have stuff saved on the desktop and that machine is allocated to me by our manager. It culminated in me telling him at point blank range to go and fuck himself when he came out with the classic 'I don't need to take this shit from the likes of you'. A lot of people who know me 'for real' know I'm a lot milder face to face, and not that confrontational. Well, I made an exception for this 24 valve choad.Fortunately we're situated in a small room, rather than the main office. This was after I dared to point out that when I used his computer, once, on the old bank (because I'd been told to take the work off him that he wasn't doing) he went utterly apeshit. I walked off after that little blow up because that would have ended badly had I stayed.The only good thing is that on that particular day he decided he was ill and fucked off home having pissed the entire team off. He came in 'because the team wouldn't manage without me'. Funny, I'm doing triple the work he is because I'm doing his share as well, he just mashes ALT TAB endlessly to make it look like he's busy.The whole team thinks he's a bell end. I tried not to get involved since I've just been seconded, but as he decided to make things difficult for me simply by existing, I can't help but join in. There's 8 of us in a tiny room that's normally used for training, and there's nowhere else for us to go because of seating shortages.I don't even try to hide my disdain for him now. Hopefully he'll get shuffled off the team or even disciplined for being a deluded work shy twat.That would be the best work related Christmas present ever.We had a download error this morning so we couldn't work on yesterday's numbers. So we have two day's worth of work to do tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. If he doesn't pull his weight we're gonna struggle to get things done. We already have someone else off the floor helping us.Grand Gromit, Grand.

[Guest]

I should write a book about coping with stress at a job you don't like, I have all the "top tips". Most of them involve going for a few drinks on your lunch!

[Cavcraft]

Feelin your pain Jon, feelin your pain.If it helps in any small manner you are NOT alone working with fucking bell ends.Alas for some of us it would appear the laziest bastards of the lot are the ones who are usually the thickest, but can bullshit for Britain and therefore get regarded with almost God like status.I refuse point blank to get involved with arselicking and would rather stay on the bottom rung of the ladder than spend my 'career' bumlicking bosses and all my time hanging round their offices.Happy to report in previous jobs I've seen weapons grade dickwads be first in line for the 'dance when it came round, and even happier to report I took great delight in telling the odious turds I found it comical that I still had a job and they didn't.Keep fighting the fight brother. NO SURRENDER TO MORONS.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Apologies if I revert to my old expletive filled form briefly.At the moment, there is a person on my team at work who is pissing me off ROYALLY.It's a shame as we used to get on well. However, he's got at least ten years on most of us (and that's just me) and seems to think that with greater age comes a pecking order. He got seconded off the team and became a trainer over the Christmas ramp up. This isn't a managerial role, but it doesn't bother him. He seems to think he can do what he wants and speak to you how he sees fit, when the converse is true. He's so fucking lazy our boss has taken jobs off him because they don't get done.He chats utter shit to the point of it being difficult to take anything he takes seriously. Sometimes he's so far off the mark I've wanted to gub him in.Take today for instance - he's not far off 22 stone and tells me whilst I'm eating a chocolate muffin that I NEED TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. He's right, I do, but I'm not morbidly obese for my height. Merely obese. Pot calls the kettle black. We had a blazing row at 7.30 am last Friday because he keeps sitting at my computer to do his work. I have stuff saved on the desktop and that machine is allocated to me by our manager. It culminated in me telling him at point blank range to go and fuck himself when he came out with the classic 'I don't need to take this shit from the likes of you'. A lot of people who know me 'for real' know I'm a lot milder face to face, and not that confrontational. Well, I made an exception for this 24 valve choad.Fortunately we're situated in a small room, rather than the main office. This was after I dared to point out that when I used his computer, once, on the old bank (because I'd been told to take the work off him that he wasn't doing) he went utterly apeshit. I walked off after that little blow up because that would have ended badly had I stayed.The only good thing is that on that particular day he decided he was ill and fucked off home having pissed the entire team off. He came in 'because the team wouldn't manage without me'. Funny, I'm doing triple the work he is because I'm doing his share as well, he just mashes ALT TAB endlessly to make it look like he's busy.The whole team thinks he's a bell end. I tried not to get involved since I've just been seconded, but as he decided to make things difficult for me simply by existing, I can't help but join in. There's 8 of us in a tiny room that's normally used for training, and there's nowhere else for us to go because of seating shortages.I don't even try to hide my disdain for him now. Hopefully he'll get shuffled off the team or even disciplined for being a deluded work shy twat.That would be the best work related Christmas present ever.We had a download error this morning so we couldn't work on yesterday's numbers. So we have two day's worth of work to do tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. If he doesn't pull his weight we're gonna struggle to get things done. We already have someone else off the floor helping us.Grand Gromit, Grand.

Could you and your colleagues bring up your gripes to your manager about this odeus gimp?

[Richard]

Most of them involve going for a few drinks on your lunch!

Up until the 1980s that was standard practice, no matter what job you did. I can certainly remember teachers going to the pub at lunchtime, and even people in driving jobs would have a pint or two.

 

 

The last two episodes of The Thick of It were a two-parter, so I recorded both to watch in one go. Today I sat down to watch them, and ten minutes in the picture starts freezing.

 

I rebooted the Sky+ box and now it won't access any of the recordings.

 

We've had it for years... why couldn't it wait one more hour before breaking?

The whole series is on iPlayer. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search/?q= ... %20of%20It Where available (i.e. the most recent episode) I'd recommend downloading the Windows Media Player version, they have buggered about with the iPlayer and it gives choppy playback with all but the best processors.

[Lankytim]

I think working with total assholes is just part of any job you end up doing. Let them get on with being a total twat, smile, be polite e.t.c. Dont lower yourself to their level. Pisses them off even more.Ive found you cant go out and change the world so its better to change yourself to prevent a mental breakdown.If that doesnt fix the situation "accidentally" lob a freshly boiled kettle of water over the fat fucker.

[Guest]

People who park in the space for the air/water machine at the local BP Garage, then go inside to do their shopping. Usually middle-aged mums in Kia Sorentos. There's a load of empty parking spaces on the other side you morons! Are you getting air/water? No? Sod off then!Though when they do that, I do enjoy sitting behind their vehicle and holding down the horn until they come back out and move it whilst looking a bit flustered/irritated - make sure to follow it up by sticking your head out of the window and giving a half-hearted "about time". Next time I might just stick 40p in the machine and change all their tyre pressures - 100psi in the back, 5psi in the front.

[AnthonyG]

 

Next time I might just stick 40p in the machine and change all their tyre pressures - 100psi in the back, 5psi in the front.

Now thats lateral thinking - I like it

[Lankytim]

Too right Hirst,What about those prats who block pumps at the petrol station while they do their shopping? The local BP often has queues out onto the large roundabout with the A500/A34 because theres twats who have filled up with fuel and then gone and done their weekly shopping. To make matters worse theres one of those shit "on the run" cafes there where you can purchase cakes and pasties and sit and eat them. Absolutley boils my piss.I guess its the fault of the petrol stations rather than the stupid public. If they provide a cafe and a freezer full of findus crispy pancakes then obviously people are going to spend 20-30 minutes doing their shopping and eating when buying fuel. PETROL STATIONS FOR FUEL ONLY!!I had an incident while I was waiting to get on the LPG pump in Scotland somewhere. Had to wait 10 minutes while some fat bastard in a newish merc farted about at the checkout with plastic bags full of shopping. As he waddled over I was mouthing what a cunt I thought he was he walked over to my drivers door and opened it. At this point I was shitting it a bit and wondering how hed heard me insulting him from inside the shop. "Nice Audi mate, ive got 3 of these at home". He then had a chat with me about type 44 audis and how great they are.I actually felt quite guilty afterwards.

[Polystratus]

Too right Hirst,What about those prats who block pumps at the petrol station while they do their shopping? The local BP often has queues out onto the large roundabout with the A500/A34 because theres twats who have filled up with fuel and then gone and done their weekly shopping. To make matters worse theres one of those shit "on the run" cafes there where you can purchase cakes and pasties and sit and eat them. Absolutley boils my piss.I guess its the fault of the petrol stations rather than the stupid public. If they provide a cafe and a freezer full of findus crispy pancakes then obviously people are going to spend 20-30 minutes doing their shopping and eating when buying fuel. PETROL STATIONS FOR FUEL ONLY!!

The Esso stations with Tesco Express are the worse ones - the car park for the shop part completely empty and cars just left at the pumps, so went a bit further to the Asda drive through one, on the way back past the Esso station again , of course still parked up at the pumps

[Timewaster]

On my way home tonight as I passed it was burning, somehow I don't think I'll be buying it now.

That IS a bit of a bugger. Having spent a while house hunting I know what a rare thing a nice old place is amongst the pages and pages of beige brick boxes on postage stamp plots. Most of the interesting places we saw had one of the above where the back garden used to be!Oh, and petrol pump shoppers? - a thousand infestations upon them!

[Guest]

Apologies if I revert to my old expletive filled form briefly.At the moment, there is a person on my team at work who is pissing me off ROYALLY.It's a shame as we used to get on well. However, he's got at least ten years on most of us (and that's just me) and seems to think that with greater age comes a pecking order. He got seconded off the team and became a trainer over the Christmas ramp up. This isn't a managerial role, but it doesn't bother him. He seems to think he can do what he wants and speak to you how he sees fit, when the converse is true. He's so fucking lazy our boss has taken jobs off him because they don't get done.He chats utter shit to the point of it being difficult to take anything he takes seriously. Sometimes he's so far off the mark I've wanted to gub him in.Take today for instance - he's not far off 22 stone and tells me whilst I'm eating a chocolate muffin that I NEED TO LOSE SOME WEIGHT. He's right, I do, but I'm not morbidly obese for my height. Merely obese. Pot calls the kettle black. We had a blazing row at 7.30 am last Friday because he keeps sitting at my computer to do his work. I have stuff saved on the desktop and that machine is allocated to me by our manager. It culminated in me telling him at point blank range to go and fuck himself when he came out with the classic 'I don't need to take this shit from the likes of you'. A lot of people who know me 'for real' know I'm a lot milder face to face, and not that confrontational. Well, I made an exception for this 24 valve choad.Fortunately we're situated in a small room, rather than the main office. This was after I dared to point out that when I used his computer, once, on the old bank (because I'd been told to take the work off him that he wasn't doing) he went utterly apeshit. I walked off after that little blow up because that would have ended badly had I stayed.The only good thing is that on that particular day he decided he was ill and fucked off home having pissed the entire team off. He came in 'because the team wouldn't manage without me'. Funny, I'm doing triple the work he is because I'm doing his share as well, he just mashes ALT TAB endlessly to make it look like he's busy.The whole team thinks he's a bell end. I tried not to get involved since I've just been seconded, but as he decided to make things difficult for me simply by existing, I can't help but join in. There's 8 of us in a tiny room that's normally used for training, and there's nowhere else for us to go because of seating shortages.I don't even try to hide my disdain for him now. Hopefully he'll get shuffled off the team or even disciplined for being a deluded work shy twat.That would be the best work related Christmas present ever.We had a download error this morning so we couldn't work on yesterday's numbers. So we have two day's worth of work to do tomorrow, which I'm not looking forward to. If he doesn't pull his weight we're gonna struggle to get things done. We already have someone else off the floor helping us.Grand Gromit, Grand.

Could you and your colleagues bring up your gripes to your manager about this odeus gimp?

We have. On this and many other occasions. Things are stacking up against him quite badly. Before he became a trainer he had almost all of his responsibilities taken off him because they weren't getting done. That particular part of his job involved a lot of a high level, big money work and dealing directly with our suppliers. He lied about the work he was doing to the boss and started farming it out to other people when he wasn't allowed to delegate. People on our team have pretty serious roles but lowly positions in the company. The latter part he forgets. He's pissed all the management off on our team in one way other, either through doing jack shit or lying about what he's done. How he's still on the team is a mystery. I suspect he had a hand in getting me removed from Analytics when I was a permanent member, but I can't prove it.He now does the same basic data entry job as I do, which is the basis of the role. Except he doesn't. Instead the support lad, the other non management members of the team who multitask and myself get the work done instead of him. My colleagues are rushed off their feet and yet they still manage to clear more cases than he does.He's started to get to me to the point where my productivity is dropping because I'm constantly arguing with him over things. He actually had the nerve to announce loudly in his best faux manager tone that I 'wasn't getting enough claims done', and the rest of the senior staff informed him that he was talking crap. I then sent my manager a system generated graph of our comparative output which he then kindly displayed on our 6"x9" projector screen. Guess what! He'd done fuck all! That was enough to shut him up for a bit.The only reason I try on this team is because I have some respect for the manager I work for. We have a lot in common and he's the only person in the company who's treated me right. I also work my arse off to make my idiot colleague look all the more crap.My aforementioned colleague thinks that he's a right clever little sod as well, the way he thinks he's winding me up. We're allowed to listen to personal stereos on the job, so all of us bring headphones in. I have some deep buds and a pair of open port SR 125 cans for when I work late. This morning he decides that everyone in the office should listen his appalling opera through a pair of the nastiest portable speakers I've ever heard. I ask him politely to stick his earphones in, and he tells me that I'm profoundly stupid and culturally deprived if I can't appreciate such grating fortissimo screech at 9.30 am in the fucking morning. He'd been asked several times by several other people to stick his earphones in and he wouldn't. I say nothing at this point and give Matthew fucking Arnold a blast of Slayer at full pelt through my SR 125s. I smile and tell him with equal courtesy that he's not the only one who can be a selfish little prick and he stuffs his earphones in with disgust. He has NO fucking idea how much more of an irritating bastard I can be if provoked. No idea at all. We'll just have to hope he doesn't pursue this little game further.He reckons he has some kind of injury which means he can only sit in one of those special RH swivel chairs. This is complete crap because he used to do entire training days standing, used to bend over desks and pick up training material all the time. He also uses other people's chairs (namely everyone else's) when he can't be bothered setting his shit little throne up.He's going to love it tomorrow when I'm off because I drained all the oil out of the support damper on his chair, and now it can't go up and down. If he leaves the room for any amount of time the controls get messed with. It's funny as fuck to watch him continually having to adjust this chair that he doesn't need. He skives off 'to get a cup of tea' quite a lot. How making a brew takes 35 minutes is beyond me. It must be really stressful mashing ALT TAB all day.I will state that had he just left me alone and known his place, and not wound me up to the point of irrational hatred, none of this would have happened. None of it.

I think working with total assholes is just part of any job you end up doing. Let them get on with being a total twat, smile, be polite e.t.c. Dont lower yourself to their level. Pisses them off even more.Ive found you cant go out and change the world so its better to change yourself to prevent a mental breakdown.If that doesnt fix the situation "accidentally" lob a freshly boiled kettle of water over the fat fucker.

We're not allowed kettles upstairs for Health & Safety reasons. I'm sure a 3 ton bottle jack to the side of the head would stun him for a couple of minutes though.Am I about to lose my marbles over him? No. I don't care about the job enough to do that. I have my outlets. I find repairing old chod very therapeutic. Venting it in text form is similarly cathartic. If you're in my area and hear an old B18 being revved to valve bounce, just leave me be, I'm not going fast enough to do any damage. When I finish, I go home and don't think about what I've got to do the next day until I walk into the office the following morning. I'm getting another job in the New Year no matter what it takes anyway, and after that I'm buggering off back to Uni, so he can swivel in his own shit and listen to pretentious aria until the end of time for all I care.I have let him get to me too much I admit. I was told personally this evening that I have the support of my other colleagues 110%, and if he carries on they'll tear him to shreds. Which is always nice. He's not getting any more out of me now, because I know I have the upper hand.Office politics eh? What a load of horse shit.

[ChinaTom]

There's not a lot worse in life's daily drudgery than shitty office politics. I can't think of one office where there has not been an underlying sense of petty rivalry, people playing people off against others; and finally my pet hate guaranteed to piss me off - chest thumping alpha males (particularly those who base their entire repertoire on Peter Kay).I don't get it as bad as you as when a project finishes, I move on to another, and it all starts up again.Did manage to get one alpha-male removed from his position with a cunning move that involved him "ordering" me to give a presentation on his behalf as he 1) hadn't prepared it and 2) buggered off back to UK 2 days early as he couldn't stand the pace. The presentation was about the problems he had with communicating with the Chinese factory team - they basically thought he was a tosser too. So I delivered the presentation to the senior Chinese bods for him, and started by explaining that the presentation had just reached me by e-mail and I would be reading it for the first time during the presentation. I put up a slide with the following information:Objective: Facilitate the project by making better use of the Chinese without affecting external factorsSolution: Get the entire population of China and stick their heads up each others' arses, wrap them around the globe at latitude 165.4669 thereby causing the minimum inconvenience to other nations.Implications: 13,216 people displaced (by 19.45 rings of interconnected Chinese) from small agricultural settlements in Chukotka and Koryaksky provinces - the rest is seaM**k B***b**dg*, Project DirectorFunnily enough, he didn't come back. Unfortunately, his job was merged with mine so I ended up with more work. But I'd rather be busier than be made to suffer pompous idiots with no right to the management grade they hold.

[Albert Ross]

Is that Mick or Mark Bainbridge?

[Mr Lobster]

Work - I've reached the stage where I'm really struggling to carry on with all this bollocks - senior managers who don't know what the job entails trying (and failing) to tell me how it should be done. I now know that I can't do this for that much longer as it's seriously getting to me. That and travelling the best part of 150 miles a day to work and back is a pain and that having the aforementioned useless manager ringing / texting me on my days off is seriously fucking grating. Houses - I really feel for you Sir Tainly, that must be a bit gutting We've been trying to move since summer and the house is still for sale. Everyone says its the right price and a nice house but still no joy. We started looking at houses and found a few we liked but as ours wasn't sold it seemed a bit pointless and was just disheartening when they sold. Finding houses that are acceptable seems hard work though - I'm not asking the earth just not some identikit grey porridge that isn't identical to everything else on the street and has a bit of character, isn't overlooked by five hundred other houses and has a bit of space around it. Ho hum. Best get another drink now I suppose.

[ChinaTom]

Is that Mick or Mark Bainbridge?

Which one do you know?

[ashmicro]

Slayer FTMFW!"RAINING BLOOD FROM A LACERATED SKY, BLEEDING IT'S HORROR.."Actually, give the opera ponce the part of South of Heaven that goes"Bastard sons begad your cunting daughters"That should give him something to think about!

[Rusty Pelican]

Nothing as bad as Watanaby , but since i started work where i am now ( 18 months ) theres one person who NEVER says a word to me , no good morning or polite mindless small tallk , just fuck all , speaks to everyone else though , dont get me wrong hes never rude as such and if i do speak to him when nessessary for work he does speak back , he never made tea for me for the first 14 months but suddenly has started to do so , i always ask if he wants one when its my round , never wants one but wanders off 5 minuits later and makes his own , perhaps he thinks il poison him , he tried an office job that was recently vacated which did mean he had to agknowledge my existence , hes back on the shop floor now , still not speaking , oh and then theres Mrs J , moan fugging moan moan moan , NOTHING is right , its like she wakes up and thinks Fuck im still alive moan moan , Im getting suicidal just listening to her , rather have the total silence of the other twat

[Albert Ross]

I know neither, however, I am a common cunning linguist and a Hawkwind fan too.

[ashmicro]

I know neither, however, I am a common cunning linguist and a Hawkwind fan too.

Yet nary a Silver Machine in sight

[dollywobbler]

He's going to love it tomorrow when I'm off because I drained all the oil out of the support damper on his chair, and now it can't go up and down.

While I'm laughing at this, it does remind me of the only time I've been fired from a job. I was an 'expert photocopier' at a large insurance company. We ripped proposal booklets into sheets of A4, then photocopied them. It was without doubt, the most mind-destroying job I've ever had. As we were left alone, we'd generally roll into work, do a few crosswords, phone up local radio to take part in quizzes, do a few copies, have a break, do a few more etc etc.Eventually, we got a touch slovenly and management had a word with one of my colleagues. He of course, blamed us. So we kept hiding his lunch in the photocopier. It would report a paper jam, he'd open it up and find a Mars bar etc. But then one of my colleagues started writing insults about him and slapping them up on the wall high enough for him not to be able to reach. This got a bit much and the chap leapt up and ran out of the office at 'NAME has a degree in anal engineering.' Stupidly, m'colleague didn't think it'd be a good idea to destroy the evidence. Management not chuffed and even though I had no part in the written insults, we were escorted off the premises!Needless to say, I think I've reacted rather more maturely when I've encountered idiots since. A quiet word with a friend in management (and it sounds like you've got one at least Wat) is a better option than filling a photocopier with food.

[Tayne]

/

[Lukas]

I hate people that laugh when I´m driving by with the window down and Hasselhoffs "Crazy for you" playing in the radio.

[FredTransit]

Cheap biscuits. Bleh! Pink wafers, rich tea, custard creams, all yuk. Runs and hides......

[Tayne]

.

[Lukas]

CD-player to be precise. It doesn´t matter what song, people seem to dislike "Everybody sunshine" too...

[CIH]

All Wat's talk of work reminds me of my life as a call centre pod at a certain well known Manchester insurance place. They would track literally every second of every day. They noticed I was going unavaliable at certain times and having too many toilet breaks and tried to fire my ass. TBH they were probably right as there was no way I was taking a call 1:39 seconds before kicking out time, or would get bored and go for a wander.There was also the absurd fake opptomisim and all the "rat race"/politics. I hated it and made no effort to pretend otherwise. I didn't mind helping customers on the phone but the computers were shit and always dying and it just pissed me off. And the team leaders would all bugger off or simply refuse to help. There was this fat chick who was so desperate to be a team leader it was pathetic, especially as those elitiest bastards would never let her into their little click no matter how much she back-stabbed her collegues. edit: having said all that the money was okay and the hours good, plus it was right next door to several bars and 2000 or so people would pile in so you'd never be out on your todd. Also, there was this little blonde bit who I was quite fond of but did nothing about, probably because I was too busy bing pissed off which the cocks, which I now regret *sigh*Now I work in fastfit but that's another rant....

[whitevanman]

I know neither, however, I am a common cunning linguist and a Hawkwind fan too.

glad there is more than just me on here

[Guest]

Slayer FTMFW!"RAINING BLOOD FROM A LACERATED SKY, BLEEDING IT'S HORROR.."Actually, give the opera ponce the part of South of Heaven that goes"Bastard sons begad your cunting daughters"That should give him something to think about!

It was Angel Of Death I played. Then some Melt Banana while he was trying to have a conversation on the phone. Grado SR 125s can shift some serious air when driven hard.

[ChinaTom]

Last word on the workplace grump from me:Arsehole idiots who receive a call from someone senior and ask those sitting at nearby desks to leave the area as the call is "sensitive". Especially when the call comes in on a mobile. I see this too regularly."Managers" who drop the following into normal office conversation:"blah blah blah... going forward""blah blah blah... touch base""chillax""OK guys, let's gather round for a wash-up""Tool box talk" - I know this comes from the USA mining industry and has a fairly meaningful history, but I don't want to hear it being used for car-park safety lessons. In fact add "car-park safety lessons" to the list. And H&S in general. Slips and trips? Am I 4?Chubby ginger-haired middle managers addressing fellow team mates as "Tiger". Doesn't work in the Archers either.Chubby ginger-haired middle managers introducing their presence in a room using the word "Shabbah"Watching chubby ginger-haired managers "take ownership" of all female team-members and the rest of us forced to watch him mentally rubbing one off when they talk to him. Finally, people with responsibility, accountability and duty over telephone number budget projects whinge about not knowing something because they weren't here, or it happened when he was on holiday, or "I must have skimmed that e-mail", or basically because they are incapable of making a decision so ignored everything.Blimey, cold this evening isn't it?