The grumpy thread

[Guest]

I've no room to talk, I'm drinking some damaged cans of Tennents Super that my dad got cheap. I think that's a new low, really.

[trigger]

Adnams Broadside, that's where It's at, I normally get a bit carried away though when i find a pub with that on tap, end up making a tit of myself as always.

[whitevanman]

Back to Hirst's rant for a moment. I sat through 2 days of "Prince2 Management Training" on Monday and Tuesday. And for this you need to picture the Fatfighters character played by Matt Lucas for full effect"OK guys, as you can see on the slide, the purpose of planning a project is to PLAN the project - produce the project plan. Yeah? Cool?"and, amongst others:"A Product Based Planning Management Sytem basically is a management system where the project is planned around the products. And what are the products guys? They can be just about anything"Not sure whether this cheers me up, or angers me. On the fence. O, hang on, no it's a rant. The course was just shy of a grand. So it pisses me off to the point of curling one out onto the course feedback form and smearing it over her windscreen.

I absolutly hate these types of training courses...............all it seems to do is inflate some twats ego, cost money, forces you to instantly forget what they are trying to enforce.......all so as some other twat can justify his job as HR manager/ Training manager. kill 'em all

[whitevanman]

I have to say that I find 99.9% of all real ales (cask or bottle) to be awful and undrinkable, the exceptions I've found after nearly 30 years of experimentation are.....Tangle footWitches brewOrkney Darkand one from Stornaway that I forget its namethe rest are flat, have a metallicy after taste, foul tasting, and an even more foul taste the day after.I'll stick to bottles of dog, though even thats changed since they started brewing it in Tadcaster

[Father Ted]

Chas and Dave have splt up.Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

[Pete-M]

Chas and Dave have splt up.Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Ain't no pleasin' you.

[Arragonis]

Back to the trucks for a moment, the thing that really annoys me is when you get two of them. The one behind has no change whatsoever of making an overtake, so does he leave a gap for those of us who may have an opportunity ? Naw - instead he sliptstreams the one in front probably on some kind of mission to save 0.0001l of fuel for the journey.In fact nobody seems to leave a gap for overtaking these days. Last week I was forced to forego many an overtake because some gifferette in a Matiz decided to hang onto the offside rear of the truck we were following so I couldn't see past to safely make the move.Its no wonder people get frustrated.

[Guest]

Back to Hirst's rant for a moment. I sat through 2 days of "Prince2 Management Training" on Monday and Tuesday.

I went on a Customer Care course once where we had to watch a bizzare tape of some American fish stall where they spent all day throwing fish about and having a great time. The entire video was fish-themed and even kept referring back to an acronym called FISH. I think "f" was "fun" and "h" was "hardworking". It was basically like the video version of what you describe. Although there was a good bit where they dropped a fish on the floor and presumably it had to be binned - inexplicably they didn't make an example out of that. I think the video was from about 1993 judging by all the jazzy MIDI music.

[Richard Cranium]

Tractors having to go on main roads during rush hour. I live in North Wales and there is always a huge hold up caused by some ignorant farmer prick pootling along the road in Massey Ferguson's finest. Why can't they wait until after 9am?Tossers who, when you are the only car on the road within miles, have to wait until you are virtually on top of them before pulling out in front of you causing you to slam the anchors on and almost suffer a 'brown trouser' moment. Yes I mean you, Mr Mercedes SLK driver. That nanosecond you saved by almost killing me made all the difference, didn't it?People who refer to themselves in the third person. Footballers tend to do that and it really gets on my tits. Was watching Hells Kitchen USA last night (Mrs Cranium likes it) and one of the contestants called J kept doing this e.g 'J has never had a massage before, J thinks it would be awesome' etc. Aaargh!People mis pronouncing things does my head in too. Used to work with a woman who shopped in Matalan but she called it Mataland. Really wound me up for some reason...

[Cavcraft]

Mispronunciations don't go down to well your way do they?Once looking for a place in Mid-Wales I asked some scatty old bat where 'Mac chin leth' was. Once I'd spelt it out she simply told me the correct pronounciation and then told me to 'piss off back to England'

[Richard Cranium]

Mispronunciations don't go down to well your way do they?Once looking for a place in Mid-Wales I asked some scatty old bat where 'Mac chin leth' was. Once I'd spelt it out she simply told me the correct pronounciation and then told me to 'piss off back to England'

I'm actually English, from the Wirral originally. Only ended up in Wales as Mrs C is from Mold. I know what you mean about North Wales though. Remember going into a pub in Caernarfon once, everyone was jabbering on in Welsh. I ordered in English and it was like something out of a Western. The whole pub seemed to go quiet and turn to look at us. Could see them mentally preparing the giant wicker man. Holywell's not too bad, though. Loads of exiled Scousers and Mancs round here!

[dollywobbler]

Oooh, mispronounciations is a killer.Ren-ult is a good'un. Vanden Plas trickier - plass or plargh? (I say plass)

[seth]

I have to keep reminding myself to say Borgvard and not Borg Ward even though it sounds silly and pretentious.

[Pete-M]

Pugh-Jot. Nee-San. Guya, Chevrolet (when applied to Daewoos). All bloody irritating and highly wrong.Anyone ever tries to sell me another Orion 1.6i Guya I will have to kill them. Slowly. It's Ghee-ah.

[M'coli]

Remember going into a pub in Caernarfon once, everyone was jabbering on in Welsh. I ordered in English and it was like something out of a Western. The whole pub seemed to go quiet and turn to look at us. Could see them mentally preparing the giant wicker man. Holywell's not too bad, though. Loads of exiled Scousers and Mancs round here!

H'mm, I know what you mean walked into a pub in Tanygrisiau (IIRC) after a walk in the hills and had that "Slaughtered Lamb" moment from American Werewolf in London...

[trigger]

It's like Porsche or Por-sca and don't even get me started on Robin Reliant!

[Cavcraft]

Mispronunciations don't go down to well your way do they?Once looking for a place in Mid-Wales I asked some scatty old bat where 'Mac chin leth' was. Once I'd spelt it out she simply told me the correct pronounciation and then told me to 'piss off back to England'

I'm actually English, from the Wirral originally. Only ended up in Wales as Mrs C is from Mold. I know what you mean about North Wales though. Remember going into a pub in Caernarfon once, everyone was jabbering on in Welsh. I ordered in English and it was like something out of a Western. The whole pub seemed to go quiet and turn to look at us. Could see them mentally preparing the giant wicker man. Holywell's not too bad, though. Loads of exiled Scousers and Mancs round here!

I honestly reckon there's more Scousers in Rhyl than there is in Liverpool.To my shame I was once having a really bad day at work and was trying to find some poxy lawn mower repair place in a village in the middle of nowhere. I pulled into whatever village it was right in the middle of market day and the place was heaving. Drove into a very busy carpark to ask directions when some twonk beeped at me. The old red mist came down and I got out of the cab and shouted as loudly as possible 'What's your problem you sheepshagging twat'.Then there was that eerie silence, all eyes fell upon me and I realised now might be a good time to leave. Luckily in one piece

[Richard Cranium]

Mispronunciations don't go down to well your way do they?Once looking for a place in Mid-Wales I asked some scatty old bat where 'Mac chin leth' was. Once I'd spelt it out she simply told me the correct pronounciation and then told me to 'piss off back to England'

I'm actually English, from the Wirral originally. Only ended up in Wales as Mrs C is from Mold. I know what you mean about North Wales though. Remember going into a pub in Caernarfon once, everyone was jabbering on in Welsh. I ordered in English and it was like something out of a Western. The whole pub seemed to go quiet and turn to look at us. Could see them mentally preparing the giant wicker man. Holywell's not too bad, though. Loads of exiled Scousers and Mancs round here!

I honestly reckon there's more Scousers in Rhyl than there is in Liverpool.To my shame I was once having a really bad day at work and was trying to find some poxy lawn mower repair place in a village in the middle of nowhere. I pulled into whatever village it was right in the middle of market day and the place was heaving. Drove into a very busy carpark to ask directions when some twonk beeped at me. The old red mist came down and I got out of the cab and shouted as loudly as possible 'What's your problem you sheepshagging twat'.Then there was that eerie silence, all eyes fell upon me and I realised now might be a good time to leave. Luckily in one piece

[AlsoMike]

People who say "off of" instead of "from". People who say "brought" instead of "bought". People who write "of" instead of "have". And those around us whose mastery of the English language is so profoundly shonky that they feel the need to add the letter k to the end of the word 'anything'. Surely English isn't that tricky is it? These retards should be left in the middle of the North sea in a raft with a hole in it.I suppose the upside of all these nuggets talking like a tard makes me sound like I actually have a brain. Perhaps.

[Richard Cranium]

People who say "off of" instead of "from". People who say "brought" instead of "bought". People who write "of" instead of "have". And those around us whose mastery of the English language is so profoundly shonky that they feel the need to add the letter k to the end of the word 'anything'. Surely English isn't that tricky is it? These retards should be left in the middle of the North sea in a raft with a hole in it.I suppose the upside of all these nuggets talking like a tard makes me sound like I actually have a brain. Perhaps.

Couldn't agree more. The word 'gotten' seems to be everywhere too. Hate that. Mind you, I worked in a high school for a while earlier this year and the amount of 13/14 year olds who could barely read or write, let alone spell, was genuinely shocking. Society in general seems to be dumbing down and we as a nation seem to applaud stupidity and ignorance.

[Cavcraft]

And why does it seem to come in reams all about the same time?I've noticed a hell of a lot of people typing 'woundered' instead of 'wondered' recently.Twats.

[ChinaTom]

saa' for something. If they are that good at glottal stops, either emigrate to the middle east, or Halifax.

[dollywobbler]

Lilly Allen. For making everyone speak like cockney-wannabes. Little is pronounced li-all. Going to is gonna. Would have is now wood-a.All far too tinny. I prefer a nice woody word. Like Ocelot.

[Richard Cranium]

I blame Eastenders. 'Nuffink', 'intcha', 'faaaam-lee' etc. Almost makes you yearn for the days of cut glass BBC pronunciation...

[Cavcraft]

'Mom'. It's mUm you bastards, we're not part of America (yet). I also find 'movies' instead of films annoying.

[andrew e]

Viscous fans that won't shift.

[Pete-M]

I blame Eastenders. 'Nuffink', 'intcha', 'faaaam-lee' etc. Almost makes you yearn for the days of cut glass BBC pronunciation...

Indeed, I'm with you on this. The Mockney East-End screech is enough to make me want to kill. Australian Questioning Intonation is enough to warrant the entirely reasonable genocide of anyone under 30 who inflicts it upon any unfortunate listener.

[Richard Cranium]

Australian Questioning Intonation is enough to warrant the entirely reasonable genocide of anyone under 30 who inflicts it upon any unfortunate listener.Oh how true!

[RedSparrow]

Oooh, mispronounciations is a killer.

 

Ren-ult is a good'un. Vanden Plas trickier - plass or plargh? (I say plass)

Yes I can confirm that Vanden-plass is the correct pronounciation.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Chas and Dave have splt up.Not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Cry.Shouldnt admit it, but I really quite like Chas and Dave.