The grumpy thread

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Got my coffee machine part and fitted it, but still no coffee, just LOUD NOISES. Back to the internet which suggests the 'bypass valves' might be broken. Don't know how to replace those, can't find anyone selling them anyway, don't care anymore just want espresso.

 

If your company name is so easily twisted into KRAPS you have to make the best machines on the planet, not very expensive machines which break all the time (so many others with the same problem, suggests its common).

 

I want some god damned coffee.

[tonedepear]

SQL ERROR [ mysqli ] Too many connections.

[maxpower]

^^^^ i got that as well took a feckin lifetime to get logged in

[maxpower]

F***ING CORN ON THE COBS, why does it take 1/2 hour of attacking your jaws with a bastard swiss army knife after eating one, before all your teeth sit properly again, WHAT A JOKE

 

trying this might help >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

[dollywobbler]

While Mr Bol's corn on the cob related rant has cheered me up somewhat, I'm grumpy because it seems I'm back to being useless. Range Rover is turning into such a pup that I might name it Fido. Or maybe that's where the Rover bit comes from...

 

Got the new discs, pads and caliper pistons/seals today, so set about rebuilding the calipers. Not too problematic. New seals behaved themselves eventually and with a bit of DOT 4 lube, the new pistons were soon home and sliding nicely. So, caliper ready. Time to fit the new discs. This is where problems began to strike. The Haynes BOL is USELESS. A lack of pictures and piss-poor description left me no nearer knowing how to do it. Ended up finding a very good photo-laden description on the LRUK forum, which was utterly superb. And soon made clear that I was rather lacking in the tool department, apart from the one holding a socket that was far too small.

 

Gave up and bolted the caliper back on, reasoning that at least I'd be back to a working vehicle. Naturally, the bloody thing had developed a flat battery again must find out where that electricity is leaking to) but Mr Scruff kindly pointed out that the brake booster should work with just the ignition on. Sorted. Brakes bled. This led to a discussion about ABS systems, at which point the lack of a dashboard light began giving me horrors, as the under-bonnet gubbins clearly looked very ABS-orientated. Tried finding what the ABS light should look like (thanks Google Images) and sure enough, I'd not seen that light. Get the back of the instrument binnacle off. Oh look! A missing bulb... Pinched the trailer warning bulb and sure enough, ABS light comes on. Would it go off once I got the engine running again? Prace bets now!

 

2CV just about forced enough volts into the Rangie again and it started. Naturally, the ABS light stayed on. Bit miffed as the lack of an ABS light should have been an MOT failure...

 

Just to add to the woes, the interior light came on while I was jump starting, and stayed on. Even with the doors shut. Something clearly isn't right somewhere. Disconnected now, in case it's the source of the electicity leak, but I've definitely seen the interior light go out. What makes me most grumpy is that quite a lot of the problems are things that I should have picked up when I viewed it. We went on a fairly long run so why didn't I check to see if the brakes were hot? And why did I not think "hmmm, this should have ABS" and check it properly? AND I found a rust hole beneath the ABS gubbins.

 

I've had some interest in the Saab, but there's a part of me thinking that selling it and relying on the Rangie is not a wise move at all...

[Des]

ABS light stays on until you're moving, if there is a fault then you can link a socket under the passenger seat and count the lamp flashes to determine where the problem lies / send you on a wild goose chase.

[Pete-M]

That bloody Golf cabrio. Today it's decided would be a good day to split the plastic housing the temp sensors sit in.

 

Bloody thing.

[meggersdog]

^^^ Land Rovers have to do 10 mph before the ABS light goes out.Have you checked the lights under the bonnet go out when it's shut.Most hub nuts would have had the chisel treatment by now but using a drift shouldn't damage the nut.Once the hub is off I think the bolts holding the discs on are 17mm.The proper hub sockets are about a fiver.

[dollywobbler]

Thanks. I've heard many different speeds, but everyone reckons the light will stay on until it's moving. Which it won't be until I get it another dose of DOT4. Have been looking up the 'blink' test should it be needed...

 

Guess I'm annoyed just because I waded in with no bloody information at all. And naturally no preparation or checking that I actually possessed the tools needed...

[cobblers]

Golf started spluttering its knackers off today on the way to my mates. Fine on part throttle, revs to high heaven fine. more than about 2/3rds and it coughs, splutters and the revcounter decides to read 10% of what it should.

 

Chased a load of wiring faults round, fixed them all and it's still shit. Boiled it down to either coil or hall sensor in the dizzy.

 

Ordered a coil for £15, but mine seems fine according to autodata recommendations and cheap multimeter measurements.

 

 

Dizzy is some SEALED 4 LYFE YO shit that you cant change the (usually about a tenner) hall sensor on, and costs £160 exchange.

 

bollocks.

[M'coli]

Golf started spluttering its knackers off today on the way to my mates. Fine on part throttle, revs to high heaven fine. more than about 2/3rds and it coughs, splutters and the revcounter decides to read 10% of what it should.

 

Chased a load of wiring faults round, fixed them all and it's still shit. Boiled it down to either coil or hall sensor in the dizzy.

 

Ordered a coil for £15, but mine seems fine according to autodata recommendations and cheap multimeter measurements.

 

 

Dizzy is some SEALED 4 LYFE YO shit that you cant change the (usually about a tenner) hall sensor on, and costs £160 exchange.

 

bollocks.

What age is your Golf?

[cobblers]

What age is your Golf?

 

It's a 92 mk2 gti, but the engine and guff are out of a 1995 mk3 (ABF 2.0 16v jobbie)

[Station]

My folks have put their house up for sale. We moved in in 1988, and have a lot of memories in that place.

Unfortunately (for them) they are moving to a bungalow with a driveway with 'space for ten cars'.

 

[M'coli]

What age is your Golf?

 

It's a 92 mk2 gti, but the engine and guff are out of a 1995 mk3 (ABF 2.0 16v jobbie)

Check the plug leads - these can affect the speed signal to the ecu, and even when they look ok can be interfering with signals etc..

[trigger]

Today's GOM thread will be brought to you by the letters G.O.L and F...

[Negative Creep]

Does the golf have an idle stabilisation valve? That gave me no end of grief on my mk2.

 

My grump is forgetting the bonnet stay isnt very strong so it fell onto my hand. Nice cuts across my knuckles now which makes it look like ive been in a scrap

[Guest]

RC car battery exploded whilst charging and nearly set desk on fire.

 

Still can't find a carb for the 305.

 

No interest in KN Geminis.

 

VOC mongrum being typically useless and willfully stupid when it comes to buying the stuff taken off the 480.

 

Work being extremely vague about whether or not I can have Sunday off to go to the Pod.

 

C4 brakes almost dead. Poly bushes for front end non existent. Front tyres nearly illegal but not quite (hint, hint, copper twat who stopped me. 3mm is not illegal).

 

Ebay job lot of 'working' RC handsets all broken. Servos knackered.

 

Cannot find MSC adaptor for Cheetah anywhere.

 

No response to any of my placement requests. Uni being extremely vague as to when my tuition fees need to be paid.

 

ARGH.

[tonedepear]

What's the throttle body look like on the gowf? They get gummed up right to fuck and exhibit all sorts of "ignition fault" style symptoms in my limited experience.

 

Worth a squirt of carb cleaner anyway.

[M'coli]

Not only has HD failure of my Mum's old laptop deprived me of my own decent PC, it's also exposed the lack of Equation editor in this one's MS Word. Arse.

[wuvvum]

RC car battery exploded whilst charging and nearly set desk on fire.

 

Still can't find a carb for the 305.

 

No interest in KN Geminis.

 

VOC mongrum being typically useless and willfully stupid when it comes to buying the stuff taken off the 480.

 

Work being extremely vague about whether or not I can have Sunday off to go to the Pod.

 

C4 brakes almost dead. Poly bushes for front end non existent. Front tyres nearly illegal but not quite (hint, hint, copper twat who stopped me. 3mm is not illegal).

 

Ebay job lot of 'working' RC handsets all broken. Servos knackered.

 

Cannot find MSC adaptor for Cheetah anywhere.

 

No response to any of my placement requests. Uni being extremely vague as to when my tuition fees need to be paid.

 

ARGH.

So pretty much your average Tuesday then.

 

Actually, speaking of brakes, turns out that the brakes on the 166 are pretty shite, as I found on the way into work this morning when some bellend in a new shape Bravo pulled out in front of me from the left on a 60mph stretch of A road and then proceeded to stop dead in the middle of the road waiting to turn right. I did manage to stop, but not as quickly as I would have liked. On the plus side, though, the Alfa is equipped with a very loud and angry-sounding horn.

[Lord Sterling]

Gah, more Rover Shite. Phoned up the garage today, they ordered no less than 4 fuel filters and not one of them fit! And I'm still without a car, which, to be honest isnt too bad, busses can be a bit expensive, smelly and not very direct but at least I'm doing more walking/bike riding.

 

Also, I have finally decided to log off another forum for good where I had been a member for a good few years, I dont feel grumpy about that now though it did make me quite grumpy yesterday.

[M'coli]

So, some Scottish lanky streak of pish can hit a tennis ball - why the fuck is this so much more important than the regional news?

[dollywobbler]

Come on Murray!

[M'coli]

Troll!

[dollywobbler]

Sorry! He may be a grumpy wotsit, but he does play very good tennis. Not fussed about where he's from to be honest.

[M'coli]

I don't care where he's from either. The main news got shunted onto Beeb 2, but it was seemingly easier to stick a filler program on rather than the regional news. The tennis was scheduled to be on bbc2 anyway, so why did they have to mess about with the schedules? Fuctifano.

[eddyramrod]

That's the BBC for you. In the name of "serving the licence-payer what he wants" you get wall-to-wall ball games and anything you actually wanted to see gets shunted to BBC2 (if you're lucky) or "postponed until a future date" which never materialises. Thanks Beeb, I'm glad I've left you behind*...

 

*Except for the criminally misnamed BBC Entertainment, available over here, consisting of The Weakest Link, Doctors, Eastenders and Holby City. Just think, this is the organisation that made 2 Pints, Porridge, Have I Got News (etc), QI, Blott on the Landscape... where did it all go wrong?

[Mr_Bo11ox]

The BBC is great. If you think its rubbish, what are you comparing it to?

[andrew e]

[eddyramrod]

The BBC is great. If you think its rubbish, what are you comparing it to?

 

It used to be great, I'll give you that, but look what it does (and has always done) when a so-called sporting event appears, such as Wimbledon; and look what it sends round the world as flagship "Entertainment." Hardly the best showcase, you must admit.