The grumpy thread

[Guest]

A question sent to me today from ebay about my Bora which is on there for £2500.

 

Full Name: denim zini

Country: United Kingdom

Primary Telephone: 0208 *******

---------------------------------------------------------

hi there hope you are okay,I hope you understand that I do offer you £1900 and could come to pick it up tonight,if you agree to the price,Because I need to have a car withing 2 days as I was involved in accident and my car is total loss. please let me know as son as possible.regards Denim

 

Fuck off.

 

hi there mate,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

i can offa u a Volvo 480 rear dor and a paket of quayvers (lyke McGuyver's favorit cripz so wel good innit) and £500 i fink this is wel gud deal can pick up at 2 am

 

fanks

 

jon

 

ps the paint luks gr8, is it?

 

pps: hope da frunt an rer bumber clusters r gud, i reverse into ppl alot.

[Station]

I had a red-van-man behind me doing 65mph on a 60mph dual carriageway flashing me to 'move over' so he could pass, why do they do this? He then tried to undertake me, then was slowed down by a slow Saxo and then pulled off the slip road. I'm not in any rush to let you pass you BELL END!

[CreepingJesus]

Cheers, I'll pick some up. Your door replacement is typical of small picture green policies... replace something perfectly functional made of natural, recyclable, biodegradable wood with a plastic product made from chemicals to save a minuscule amount on your heating bills, perhaps. Sigh.

Quite. Not only that, but less secure. The plastic doors could be kicked in by a hamster, the old wood one was 2" thick...

[TimothyClaypole]

Autotrader... spend less time trying to get pops up through and shite adverts then the search might not report internal SQL errors etc.

 

Oh and when I click a box to select manual/auto or petrol/diesel etc. just put the freaking adverts back up without asking me to click the

search button again, I did the search on make/model, it's filtering those results not a new search.

[Pete-M]

What does power steering fluid do to the road? Stain it?

 

Heh, it can do more than that. Initially (for the first year or so) the road will always appear damp. In winter there'll be a patch on the road that never freezes, in summer that same patch will always appear to be wet. If your road is resurfaced when it's covered in ATF, you'll come home a few days later (first properly sunny day) to the 'wet' bit appearing to bubble up - some bubbles can be as big as rugby balls.

 

DAMHIK,IJD,OK?

[sporty-shite]

I had a red-van-man behind me doing 65mph on a 60mph dual carriageway flashing me to 'move over' so he could pass, why do they do this? He then tried to undertake me, then was slowed down by a slow Saxo and then pulled off the slip road. I'm not in any rush to let you pass you BELL END!

 

Bad lane discipline makes me grumpy.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

DAMHIK,IJD,OK?

 

Wow, now I'm glad I only leak oil, washer fluid and petrol

[RedSparrow]

In just over a week I am making my first attempt at emigrating. I should be happy but am having major stresses about it. And despite numerous trips to the tip and charity shop I still appear to have a flat full of rubbish. Why didn't I sort this out sooner?

Also, I have enough money to survive for about 2 months and am worrying about the job situation, although Finland have an extremely generous welfare system because people are honest there, and in fact feel ashamed if they don't work. Crazy huh?

 

Best of luck with it mate, I hope it works out for you!

 

BTW - What are you doing with your TR7s?

 

Thanks.

 

I will be keeping just the silver one. It will probably have to live under a tarp at my dad's garage for a while. Luckily he will probably have a drive in it often enough to stop major deterioration!

I would like to bring it over to where ever I end up one day.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Yeah, cos I'm planning on retrofitting my cars with my home made PAS system crudely constructed from jamjars and speaker magnets. Or I was until I found out about this fluid.

[Rhythm Thief]

I had a telly, and it worked well enough for what I wanted, viz. watching the F1 every few weeks in the season. But now we've gone digital, suddenly I've had to fork out £50 for a digital freeview box and I can't get my DVD recorder - bought at some expense a year or so ago - to work. I didn't ask for digital telly, and all it means is that I now seem to have hundreds of channels of shit for morons to watch while they dribble gently out of the corners of their mouths and their brains are eaten away in the same way lettuces are eaten by slugs. Yet I can't pause the live F1 coverage like I used to whenever I wanted to make a cup of coffee or get a beer, and I can't record the races any more. Why is the world just becoming gradually worse?

[Cavcraft]

No offence like but surely 1,000,000 channels of shit are still better than eight seconds of F1?

[Rhythm Thief]

I was happy with the telly the way it was, ie off most of the time and showing me what I wanted to watch the rest of it. I wouldn't mind if I'd been clamouring for digital TV.

[Negative Creep]

After sorting my tax code, I told my employers who said they would pass it on to payroll and make sure I was paid properly. Well I've just had my paycheque and take a wild guess what code I'm on?

[Station]

No offence like but surely 1,000,000 channels of shit are still better than eight seconds of F1?

 

Jesus, I would rather watch every single program of Jeremy Kyle back-to-back with the volume at 200dB with Vanessa Feltz sat on my lap than watch televised F1 - most things 'used to be good', but I can't even say I've ever enjoyed it.

[M'coli]

After sorting my tax code, I told my employers who said they would pass it on to payroll and make sure I was paid properly. Well I've just had my paycheque and take a wild guess what code I'm on?

Code "fuckwitted payroll mouthbreathing twats?"

[Guest]

Argh, today started off so promisingly.

 

However, as it wore on, it got progressively worse. At the moment I'm sat at a service station down south, eating some nice food so that I don't murder someone.

 

Leave to collect stuff from work at 2pm. Reschedule because work need me in (should have gone down this morning). Make good [quick] progress but then get stuck in the traffic jam from hell 20 miles from the pick up point. It takes an hour and a half to do a mile. Eventually clear the traffic jam which turns out to be an idiot in a BMW 1 series driving down the middle of the road with his hazards flashing. Bloke wants to know where I am as he's locking up. I sent a text saying 'I'm stuck on the M1 20 miles away, I'm close please wait for me'.

 

I receive no reply. An hour later I get to the bloke's house, ring him, he says 'you're 2 hours late and I've gone out'. He claims not to have got my texts (they definitely sent). Net result - I've driven 300 miles and come away empty handed.

 

I don't know when I can go back now. GR9.

[Alexg]

Got a parking ticket today. Smug little shitcunt in his zoo keepers uniform must have been watching from a distance because it was all written out as he arrived at my car. No pegging it from the DVLA office could stop him slapping the fine on the screen - Wank stain.

[eddyramrod]

I've been making more display shelves for my models, so I can actually unpack some from the big boxes that litter my "office" (third bedroom). Almost all the timber I'm using is reclaimed (by me, myself, with my own fair splinter-ravaged hands) from unwanted pallets that I've picked up in recent weeks (it pays to have a pickup truck ). So I remembered the old saying "measure twice, cut once," and did what it said. First unit, lovely, fits exactly where I want it to, and now it's loaded with old Matchbox cars. Second one: OH BOLLOCKS! I made it this morning, very carefully fitting it to the measurements I wrote down. It's about 5mm too wide. Shitfuckbuggeryarseholes!

 

And now my anglegrinder's gone missing too. And it's raining. In Cyprus!

[pompei]

A bit like the "am I alone in not liking this car" thread -- am I alone in not getting Morrissey? Never really liked The Smiths - thought they were ok but not brilliant. Then his solo career just left me cold. Contrived, trying to be clever sixth form stuff. And tonight yet another fawning presenter interviewing him on the wireless. Kirsty Young said he was the most interesting interviewee on desert Island Discs. WTF is going on? GRRR

[Negative Creep]

Got a parking ticket today. Smug little shitcunt in his zoo keepers uniform must have been watching from a distance because it was all written out as he arrived at my car. No pegging it from the DVLA office could stop him slapping the fine on the screen - Wank stain.

 

Is is a council issued one or one of those private parking firms?

 

 

I find the Smiths incredibly dull btw

[Alexg]

Council

[dollywobbler]

I'm with you there Pompei. Mind you, I always got it in the neck because I think Bob Dylan has all the makings of a singer, apart from not being able to sing. At all. And he can't play harmonica. And his lyrics are often utter rubbish.

 

But then I also got a load of grief for being utterly underwhelmed by The Stone Roses.

[eddyramrod]

Thank goodness! Pompei and Dollywobbler, how refreshing to hear the truth spoken about "music" for a change. Can anyone tell us why Bob Dylan and Morrisey are revered as gods? Actually: probably not, this is Autoshite, where people mostly have more taste.

[ashmicro]

I'm late to the party here, but T-Cut takes anything off uPVC. farecla works too, but I'm CONCEARNED that it's a bit aggressive.

[Richard]

Received wisdom is that Bob Dylan is a great songwriter and a shit singer but I like his voice.

[boobydoo]

Really saddened to hear that Elisabeth Sladen has died of cancer at just 63. I was a big Dr Who fan as a lad in the seventies.

 

[pompei]

I caught the tail end of an interview the other day on BBC Radio Lincolnshire in which the interviewee was getting all excited about the use of cheap white toothpaste and an old toothbrush for cleaning a myriad of things, including upvc.

 

Rock 'n' Roll radio!

[pompei]

Re Dylan:- great lines by Bowie, "with a voice like sand and glue"

[eddyramrod]

+1 for Elisabeth Sladen. I remember reading an interview soon after she got the part in Doctor Who. She said she was hired because she could do a good scream! True or not, if you're still playing the character 30 years later it hasn't done any harm, has it?

 

IIRC Sarah Jane drove a round-arch Midget back in the day...

[M'coli]

Thank goodness! Pompei and Dollywobbler, how refreshing to hear the truth spoken about "music" for a change. Can anyone tell us why Bob Dylan and Morrisey are revered as gods? Actually: probably not, this is Autoshite, where people mostly have more taste.

I can't tell you why, but agree about Morrisey's solo stuff.

I can't stand the Beatles, however.