The grumpy thread

[michael1703]

If your phone has a sound recording doodah, answer the door with phone in hand, dont hold it under their nose but lean against the doorframe with it in hand nonchelantly, cant do any harm to have a copy of conversation

[cobblers]

My mum wants to buy my MX5 off me. It's a good motor and I can just barely afford to keep it, and I'm running round in a mk2 golf gti for a bit which was cheap and needs work. Mx5 is sat on the drive.

 

I made the mistake some months ago of saying I might sell her the mx5 one day. She has slowly turned this into "I WILL DEFINITELY SELL HER THE MX5 FOR BASICALLY FUCK ALL". I've told her it's not for sale. Many times.

 

Last week she asked if she could perhaps borrow the MX5 for a bit seeing as it was sat on the drive. I know what she is like at "driving" and told her she could borrow it once I'd got round to taking the big scene alloys off it and winding the suspension back up to a height where driving it over a "speed cushion" wouldn't actually write it off. I agreed to this because, to be fair her Ka is falling to bits and I have no time to fix it

 

I had a bit of time this afternoon while waiting for the golf engine to cool down so I could refill it with cold coolant (heater bypass valve failed) so I swapped the wheels over and wound the suspension up about 4 inches. Told her she can run it about if she fills it with fuel and remembers that kerbs are not for driving up, over or near.

 

An hour ago I see:

Got my new car. Yes!!!!!!

 

FFS.

[Guest]

Tell her you need it back now as you've sold it to me for £50.

[trigger]

An hour ago I see:

Got my new car. Yes!!!!!!

 

FFS.

 

Good old mums!

[cobblers]

Tell her you need it back now as you've sold it to me for £50.

I'd want at least £75, but you're better than it.

[fiatdaft]

intertet trolls.

[fotorabia]

Cobblers..if youd left the Mazda at the lowered height i could have borrowed it as a lawn mower cos Ive just run out of 2 stroke oil..and now Her Indoors sez we're off to buy a vintage push mower..and guess who has to harvest the goddamn cricket pitch backyard..

[Guest]

this is just wrong,if you were closer i would lend you my rottweiler,hope they fuck off.

 

Concurred. Fucking hell Trig, why you and Mrs Trig? Seems utterly shit.

Do you have any handy colleagues?

[trigger]

Oh i know plenty of people who'd help but I'm not worried these Postmen, We do seem to be having a pretty shit time of it lately!.

 

I'm really just hoping it's all a misunderstanding and just a big storm in a tea cup, I really can't fathom why a pair of postmen would start to terrorist a customer, even if they have made a complaint about them it seems OTT, We'll see what happens in the morning... WATCH THIS SPACE!

[autofive]

how did it go with the psycho posties?

[scaryoldcortina]

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Probably a bit late for this Trig, but my tip was to stay up all night so you're really bleary-eyed and dopey-looking in the morning, then answer your door to them with a belt tightly wrapped round your arm and a hypodermic needle (obv use a new, empty one from the chemist) hanging out of it. When they knock on the door stand right behind the door for a minute or so before opening it. Let them get into full flow then close the door after a bit without saying a word.

[trigger]

I've got that vision in my head now!, To be fair i look bleary-eyed most of the time anyway!, and that comic strip is spot on SOC!.

 

Well this morning he delivered our mail and there wasn't any knocks on the door so hopefully that's the last of it, It might be because Hannah had taken her car to work and mine was in the driveway which put him off, i don't know,

 

Oddly i did have a strange dream this morning in which i saw him drive down our driveway in a blue Citroen Xantia and ring the door bell, I jumped out of bed, put my socks and pants on, ran down stairs to answer the door and then realised no one was there and i dream the door bell going off...

[dollywobbler]

I jumped out of bed, put my socks and pants on, ran down stairs to answer the door and then realised no one was there and i dream the door bell going off...

 

Well, that'd certainly scare them off!

[Cavcraft]

Next time put your socks into your undercrackers and wear a gimp mask.

[trigger]

I was made to eat humble pie this afternoon!

 

I pulled into the local Co-op and was behind this silver Rover 200, It was going really slow, as in creeping along and stopping, I was getting a bit fed up and was up his arse a bit and in the end i just pulled into the nearest space.

 

I was in the store when this chap who must have been well in his 80's walks over to me with a sock over his shoe, It was the driver of this Rover!, He said that he was very sorry for driving slowly but he had just had a new clutch fitted to his car is it was now very heavy and his foot kept slipping of the pedal, I apologised saying it wasn't a problem, and he went of and bought his 4 pack of Special brew .

 

I felt like a right twat after that, and er indoors who was with me told me off for being up his arse as well!

[Station]

I once pulled into the third lane and the car behind me made a fuss (he was miles away), so I made a fuss back, and pulled back in. He went to drive past and I noticed in my mirror it was my boss, I just shrunk down and pulled right in. I hate that type of thing though, especially where you are made to look like an idiot!

[trigger]

You're a man. Damn it.

 

I AM DA MAN!!

 

 

 

Sorry, i was getting a bit carried away with your post there Norm!

[Guest]

It seems I'm not quite rid of the aloe vera idiot crew. After telling them and Total Jobs to repeatedly ram their shady job offers up their collective arse, this gem appears in my inbox:

 

Good Afternoon,

 

I was in contact with you a while back, when you responded to an email about an opportunity to develop an extra income, or make a change of direction, with this 32 year old International company which has grown by 20% last year, and is totally debt free and cash rich.

 

This is an opportunity to build an income of £2000 per month, part time, and £5,000 per month, full time.

 

I am building an organisation under the umbrella of this company, of people from all walks of life, who have decided to build their own dreams, rather than someone else's. I am looking for a key person to work with, who feels that they are worth more, and have had enough of redundancy and being undervalued, who would welcome the opportunity to work within a dynamic team, dedicated to their success.

 

Are you happy with your current circumstances? Do you have the income you want, the benefits you want and the lifestyle you want now? Are you concerned or dissatisfied with your career and job security in any way?

 

We have an outstanding opportunity to inflation proof yourself, and build a secure future. Our company grows much quicker in recession, and that is when motivated, key individuals make the most money and long term financial security for themselves.

 

Our head office in in Warwickshire with regional offices all over the country and we have a northern head office in Wakefield. We would like to invite you to attend an Exciting Lifestyle Opportunity Meeting on Tuesday, 22nd February, 2011 at 7.30pm for 8.000pm. Dress code: business/smart casual. We are located at: The Ramada Jarvis Hotel, Manchester Road, Blackrod, Bolton, BL6 5RU.

Please confirm your attendance

 

If this is not convenient then we can meet up locally at a mutually convenient time to suit you, or we can do an on-line Business Presentation together, which can be booked by visiting www.createyourownfuture.org.uk.

Below is a DVD link which is 25 minutes long and will give you some more information about our Company and our Opportunity.

 

"Your Future" DVD Link

Please copy and paste into a web browser.

 

http://www.foreverknowledge.info/yourfuture

 

We look forward meeting you.

 

Warm Regards

 

Rosamund Whyte

 

Business Development Director

E.F.I. Group

Tel: 07743 549740

 

Of course, I responded in a professional and courteous manner:

 

Rosamund.

 

You again. Why e mail me? Why? Do you really think I'm so stupid as to fall for a pyramid scheme scam?

 

Did I not tell you to fuck off?

 

I want no part in your shoddy twat parade.

 

PERHAPS YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ME THE FIRST TIME. TAKE MY DETAILS OFF YOUR SYSTEM. GET RID OF THEM AND NEVER CONTACT ME AGAIN,

 

Regards,

 

Someone who really shouldn't have given their details to Total Jobs.

 

PS: Can I come and take a shit in the middle of the Ramada Hotel function room while you're talking? Perhaps the aloe vera will mask the stench. Or perhaps not. Bolton smells bad enough as it is.

 

She then replies and tells me my details have been removed. Until next time.

 

[Cavcraft]

Spammers. Sick to death of the bastards now

[Negative Creep]

Really think people need to stop replying to their posts as well

[autofive]

+ 1

 

i wont be replying anymore

 

isnt there some kind of validation for new members?

[messerschmitt owner]

Really think people need to stop replying to their posts as well

+2

by replying, we keep them up there -

 

Mods, I will happily volunteer to be spam deleter general!

[seth]

Trig, glad to hear tha situation seems to have sttled.

 

I'm grumpy 'cos I just broke something I've already spent a while making. 3rd attempt coming up... Will try and figure a slightly different way.

[barefoot]

On a different tack.

 

They're removing the idiotic traffic calming pinch point things

 

 

How much did they cost to put in?

How much will it cost to take them out?

Is it the same contractors?

 

Apparently it's to make room for a cycle lane!

 

Beggars belief.

 

On a cheerier note, the blokes seemed as pissed off about it as me & said that they'd driven through the world's biggest pot-hole

on the way to the job - but that wasn't on their list!

[Station]

Oops, I've been sold a ringer. The vin number on the slam panel is different to the one on the log book, and the whole car has little stuff on it that separates the two (including a badge that says what it really is). I love the car, but don't want the hassle. I'm booked in for MOT tomorrow. Is there any way to get this back on the road? Help me AS!

[trigger]

What sort of car is it?, It's not a Astra with a Vectra rear end is it?.

[Richard]

Oops, I've been sold a ringer. The vin number on the slam panel is different to the one on the log book, and the whole car has little stuff on it that separates the two (including a badge that says what it really is). I love the car, but don't want the hassle. I'm booked in for MOT tomorrow. Is there any way to get this back on the road? Help me AS!

 

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

What sort of car is it?, It's not a Astra with a Vectra rear end is it?.

 

I think it's an MGF with a Metro front end.

[scaryoldcortina]

Oops, I've been sold a ringer. The vin number on the slam panel is different to the one on the log book, and the whole car has little stuff on it that separates the two (including a badge that says what it really is). I love the car, but don't want the hassle. I'm booked in for MOT tomorrow. Is there any way to get this back on the road? Help me AS!

 

Oh dear...

 

First, DON'T go for the MoT if the vin doesn't match the numberplates! When logging a test, you have to enter the reg and at least part of the vin number (from the car not the logbook) and if they fail to match the DVLA record all sorts of alarms go off somewhere near Swansea. The test can continue, the computer will ask for the details of the vehicle instead of telling you what it should be, but the presenter WILL be getting a letter/visit from DVLA, and maybe the police too.

 

Second, is there any chance this is an innocent error? Other than the fact that the numberplates and V5 don't match the car, is the VIN(stamped) tampered with? It isn't unknown for the wrong plates to get attached (say, after a respray) so it could be worth contacting the place you got it.

 

'course, you probably should go report it to the police, as it might just be a clone car that only got a plate swap to punt on. Prob is, you will lose it (and your money) and the original pre theft owner will get it back instead.