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The grumpy thread


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Posted

Hirst, I put my car away after that, nice n secure. I always take the spade cable off the starter motor. No way of starting it even with pushing.

Posted

I am kind of getting worried with the amount of attention the Rebel seems to be getting to be honest.

 

Hopefully i never have a "Hirst" incident, but it does kind of put me on edge.

Posted

The Scorpio.......I got it on the road today, drove about 12 miles, and it's burst a cunting water hose. PO's "mechanic" has tie-wrapped a wad of them together and stressed them in the wrong position. So I have to find the correct hose or bidge this one... on a BH Weekend. Cheers. Then again, it was a cheap car. Goes like fuck though! I haven't even tried "Sports" mode on the transmission yet......

 

Jus don't lend it to Autofive, it'll be fine..... he didn't snap a chain on mine, but now I know that I need an inlet gasket set, 3 hours and 5 hands to put it all back together!

 

Sport mode is fun... just turn the TC off first ;)

Posted

SOC, how did you know it has a BOB in it?? I mean, what's the chances eh? I pay 70 sheets for a Scorp, and you correctly guess it's got the "proper" engine in it. Unless I mentioned it previously of course?

Posted

the words "goes like fuck" gave it away, lol..

 

good save, btw. I got mine from a scrapyard for next to fuckall a year ago, and havn't regretted a bit of it (apart from lending it to Mike, of course...)

Posted

Yesterdy I bought a new (to me) DSLR Camera. I was quite excited when I woke up as I'd got a load of charged batteries and was looking forward to a day out experimenting with taking photos.

 

Then I looked out of the window. Rain :( Not just I-might-get-camera-wet rain but proper should-I-build-an-ark rain. Bugger. Bank Holiday Weekend, why does it always happen?

Posted

Foil yogurt pot lids.

 

Why the FECK can they not come off in one piece? :x

 

As you were.

Yes, and the film lids to Tesco ready meals. It says 'remove film lid', so why are they designed to break into small strips that inevitably end up in your beef hotpot?

Posted

Foil yogurt pot lids.

 

Why the FECK can they not come off in one piece? :x

 

As you were.

Yes, and the film lids to Tesco ready meals. It says 'remove film lid', so why are they designed to break into small strips that inevitably end up in your beef hotpot?

Vote with your feet.

Posted

Work!

 

It seems I have yet another massive problem with management.

Why is this you ask?

 

Well, they now appear to be interpretating their own policies regarding internal vacancies however they see fit. YET AGAIN they're cherry picking certain people for certain roles and not advertising the positions round the contract, like they're obliged to by tedious things such as employment law.

The last time this happened 27 people complained because they transitioned another team wholesale on to another, better, cushier role with normal hours.

 

It also seems as if me asking this has touched a nerve somewhere up the echelons. We have a 'comments and suggestions board' up on the wall. I placed a post it note up there asking politely why the internal applications procedure appeared to be as bent as pink Christmas only to find it ripped down and screwed up in the bin 2 hours later.

 

Time for the permanent board marker I think.

Posted

Don't know if this helps Jon but I used to write abusive messages on the noticeboard using my left hand. They did a sweep once and checked everybody's hand writing and I was the only one not to get the blame.

The area manager was a monkey bum headed gobshite though, but I hadn't actually shagged his wife.

Posted

Work for me.. I'm sure many here have done 40+hours over three days, but it's a fucking pain when the company you work for is a shambles and your customer's being a fussy twat but wants the job finished earlier than usual.

Posted

It seems I'm not alone in my grievances with certain processes in work actually. There's quite a few of us now. I have been there the longest out of any of them and the utter absurdity of what they pull never ceases to a amaze me.

 

At the moment it's like a mildly updated and slightly less grey version of East Berlin - the politics and back biting are unbeliveable. I know my name is shit there, so I go out of my way to have a pop as I really couldn't give a flying fuck any more. If I'm honest, I haven't tried hard or applied myself since January.

 

I know my place is to fill a seat, so that's what I do. The bare minimum is required, so that's what is given. It seems that you go far in this company the less you do, so I should be CEO by all accounts.

 

I'm just waiting for the day that I snap and write out my resignation letter in a combination of blood and excrement whilst body popping to the ASDA sting. Der der der der, derder!

Posted

Foil yogurt pot lids.

 

Why the FECK can they not come off in one piece? :x

 

As you were.

Yes, and the film lids to Tesco ready meals. It says 'remove film lid', so why are they designed to break into small strips that inevitably end up in your beef hotpot?

And tax discs. Just one little tiny tear can ruin the whole 'experience' of putting a new tax disc in your window.

Posted

Eugh, I think I left my wallet in the taxi last night...... what a load of balls :evil:

Posted

feckin neighbours... knock on door to moan bout me drilling to put tv on wall.... they forget when i listen to her howl like a fuckin banshee when she is pissed outta her head...and her fukkin husky dog howling to be let in at 4 or 5 in the morning :shock:

 

NOW IT'S FECKIN WAR!!!!

Posted

Eugh, I think I left my wallet in the taxi last night...... what a load of balls :evil:

I hate that, I've lost so many items in taxi's, etc on nights out.

Posted

Jeeeeez Wat, just leave that place and get some student bar job!

Posted

New rant! I had a clutch cable to change today on a '99 peugeot 306 gti6. 306 is tight and awkward at the best of times, the bulkhead end of the cable is a bastard son of satan to reach on an ordinary one.. it's under the brake servo tight against the bulkhead with the engine leaning on your arm... I knew this, I quoted £30 for an awkward, but still only 10 minutes on the ramp job.

 

well. Peugeot decided that it would be nice to have a 16v 2.0 in a bay more used to an XU of some sort, and that a very poncy and huge tubular manifold would be nice too. It's getting tighter than the new civil service budget in there. Then some knobhead says I know! there is almost no room left, let's fit aircon! I mean, a performance hatch needs the extra weight and power drain, doesn't it?

 

Guess where the stupid cunts put the aircon main feed? yeah, along the bulkhead.. over the clutch cable so it's stupidly large end can't pass between the pipe and the bulkhead. AAAAAgh! So, I put his old cable back. It needs changing because the auto-adjuster is bult into the cable, and it lives on the back of the front subframe where it gets road crap and exhaust heat all at once and so fucks up frequently.

 

Anyway, I explained all of this to the owner, he says "ok, how much do I owe you for the mess on?" I says £20, even though it has taken twice as long as it should and been a total PITA. He gives me £11 and says "that's all I've got, is that OK?" (remember, I quoted £30... why has he only got £11?) He wanted me to fit an exhaust to "while its on the ramp" but I didn't.

 

AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH!

Posted

Wat, just accept that this job of yours has run its course and that sooner or later your gonna have to leave. Now have fun taking the piss and generally doing as little as possible until they ask you to leave.

Posted

until they ask you to leave.

"Frogmarch you out of the building" if you do it right :)

Posted

I found at my "contact centre" job I could import pictures of managers from the"intranet" into MS paint and enjoy the day paiting them up as pirates 'n' what not. Funnily enough a month later I was hauled up to answer adsurd "charges" of buggering off to the toilet too much and more or less told to leave or be fired.....

Posted

I had to change and MGF's handbrake cables to try and cure the abysmal constant MOT failing parking brake non-existance. The cables come out of a metal grommet thing which is behind the engine frame. There is 1 inch space to undo six rusted 8mm bolts. They were all stuck solid and I rounded them all. I ended up prizing it off with a very small crowbar.

 

It hurt even more when the gearchange cable snapped a couple of weeks later. It shared the same grommet. Agh.

Posted

The Police, or more specifically, the ones round here.

Suddenly, they all seem to be sunglasses wearing 'cool kids' in their early 20s, who just behave like nightclub bouncers. Rude and arrogant.

Posted

Still on The Police:

I was pulling onto a slip road of a motorway, doing about 20 mph, and my bag fell off the seat, and it's contents spilled on the floor.

I pulled onto the hard shoulder immediately, put all the stuff into my bag, and was about to pull out, when three seconds later, a bizzie in a BMW X5 thing cut right across three lanes of traffic doing 70+ across the slip road, and onto the hard shoulder, before backing up to where I was. He then got out of the car and explained to me it was illegal to be on the hard shoulder.

I've had my fill of PC's, and just remember it's best to just be 'whatever' with them, explaining my bag shed it's load under the pedals. He didn't seem to see the consequence of this and explained it was illegal! He let me go shortly afterwards. Not an ounce of pleasant-ness or helpfulness. No question as to whether I was OK.

Jesus, I'm parked for a number of seconds, with the engine running on a slip road, just let me get on with my life you moron.

Posted

Its always best to be "yes sir, no sir" with Police. I dont know anyone who won an argument with a police officer.

 

That said ive met a fair few nice coppers who have been very helpful.

Posted

We appear to have patriotism oozing from every pore. There are literally tens of cars wearing flags, in honour of the "kicking game" that is about to happen. Seems though, most of the patriotic mouth brathers round here are festooning their Lagunas, Avensii, (or is that Avensissississes? And yes, I know they are BUILT in Derbyshire, but they are lining little yellow pockets) Puntos, etc. I can understnd a Rover, a Morgan, Land Rover etc, even a Ford or Vauxhall at a push. GET A LIFE YOU SAD FUCKS!

Posted

Ah what the heck, they're just showing their support for the national team.

Most of those cars will have been purchased second hand anyhow so they're not neccessarily giving foreign car makers loads of money.

Also LandRover/Rover/Ford/Vauxhall/Nissan not owned by British companies.

Posted

My point is this. We drive our French cars to go work at a place owned by a German, sit on Swedish office furniture and tap away at a Japanese computer. Our money is probably printed in Iran because it's bloody cheaper. If you want to display your patriotism, at least show a British product for fuck's sake. My Land Rover was built in 1970, when it WAS British owned. I don't watch TV, and yes, this is a Japanese computer, but there are no British ones about this cheap. I just wonder why these people say they love Britain, when they are part of the problem of turning it into a cesspool. By people carrying on buying foreign products, the British production line stopped. Look at the British motorcycle industry for example. Where did it go? Swamped by the Japanese starting in the 1960s really. 20 years later it was gone. Yes, there are British bikes about, but not everyday stuff. It's more specialist, a lot like the car industry. OK, we make the best F1 cars, but what use are they to me? I could go on for ever about this, but it's just riling me now.

 

I am going to drink my Czech lager! (After my Pizza)

Posted

Good point Albert, and I agree to a large extent, but aren't you doing your bit for Johnny Foreigner by owning a Japanese computer because it was cheap?

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