The grumpy thread

[oldcars]

Pressure washers. Oh my fucking good God......

 

I used to have a wee handbag sized no brand washer bought for under 50 quid from a supermarket over 15 years ago. It worked fine....no complaints. It finally died a while back and I looked into replacement.

 

Me being me, I got a bit anal about it and spent an unhealthy amount of time going back and forth between a few shops and online places comparing pressures, flow rates, duty cycles and the like. I eventually bought one from a local DIY shop with specs a fair bit higher than anything else in the same price range. In use its less powerful than the old cheapy. Turns out that at the bottom of a page near the back of the manual is the disclaimer saying that the stated pressure is obtained "under laboratory test conditions for a short time." and the actual pressure it gives is significantly lower. The internet suggests that this translates as "we threw 500 volts into the pump and it gave this really high pressure for half a second then burnt out, so thats the number we put on the box" 

Its a massively heavy cumbersome thing which wouldnt bother me if it was super high power, but its weaker than the old thing which was literally the size and weight of a womans handbag.

Fucking Farce.

I got a massive rage on with it and threw it in the fucking bin and I bought a different one, which is lighter, gives better power and seemed great. Until I tried to wind the hose around the built in reel.....literally impossible. There is no slip ring or anything to carry the water through to the reel, the hose exits the body of the machine near the base. So how do I wrap it round the reel? its just not possible. even if you disconnect the hose, the reel diameter is too small so it kinks the hose. Fuck it - I never bothered and just put up with the usual big knot of pipework whenever I used it.

This thing lasted exactly until the end of the guarantee and then started leaking from every joint. Its only o-rings, how hard can it be? Well, pretty fucking hard actually. They seem to be neither metric nor imperial sizes. I went to a decent hose fittings and hydraulics place and they were stumped. "These will be off some piece of Chinese shit, yeah?". Apparently this is not uncommon. They gave me the closest they had, both slightly under and over sized. Undersized leaks everywhere and oversized are too big to allow the joins to fit together.

Surely with the awesome power and collected knowledge of the entire internet at my fingertips I could resolve this? So I typed the model into ebay and it came up with an o-ring kit for 7.99. brilliant.

Except they dont fit. I appear to have bought four standard metric o-rings for 8 fucking quid, (plus postage) and they are not the right size for the washer.

 

*grinds teeth* Jesus fucking.....Just.... oh forget it. 

 

 

Can someone please recommend me a GOOD pressure washer for a max of 200quid. And if anyone says Lavor or Ermbauer I will come round to your house and shit in your cornflakes.

Sorry i should not laugh but reading this cheered me up no end. Sorry, as for pressure washers they don't like me and all seem to grenade after the warranty expires. The one i have now that's due to grenade mid June is some b&q own brand, as much use as and ashtray on a motorbike as im sure your in France.

[Bren]

The glass on the focus' foglights is going opaque- but on the inside.

 

Guess what? They are sealed and cannot be separated without breaking something.

 

Nads.

[beko1987]

FFS is it an Aux belt, serpentine belt, V belt or any other belt? Trying to do some research as I;m bored at work, and see all these things mentioned.

 

I've ordered a belt from ebay in the vain hope that it's the right one, I even put my reg number and mobile number in the message box as asked. Place your bets now! (it wont come until next week)

[jakebullet]

Idiot sister saga continues. Story so far, in Cyprus, decides eye is defective, makes up xenophobic reasons not to get it checked out there (I've always wanted to use xenophobic in a sentence), books easyjet and comes back.

 

Today she drives to a&e, who realise what an important case she is and plonk her fat arse in the waiting room for 4 hours. Doctor doom then sticks her on the eye machine, examines her eyes and pronounces there's absolutely fuck all wrong with her. He cheerily tells her you can fly back to Cyprus now if you want.

 

She then drives back with dilated eyes 'cos she's not walking for 10 minutes to get to the hospital. 

 

No doubt she'll kick off on Saturday that it's definitely worse and she wants a 'real doctor' (read not a foreigner) to look at it.

 

TLDR: idiot sister is idiot.

[Parky]

Finally got my replacement wing for my car. Good condition you say??

 

Needless to say when I saw it wrapped up in ripped brown paper with no protection whatsoever I should have known there would be problems. Giving the seller (208 feedback, 100% record) 3 days to comment or I am negging and opening a claim against him. If it was cheap I would have lived with it but it was more than a new part in primer. Was hoping the paint would have been somewhat better....

[Parky]

Sorry i should not laugh but reading this cheered me up no end. Sorry, as for pressure washers they don't like me and all seem to grenade after the warranty expires. The one i have now that's due to grenade mid June is some b&q own brand, as much use as and ashtray on a motorbike as im sure your in France.

My Karcher expired third time I used it. Apparently "water got in it". Really? Water in a pressure washer? Who'd have thunk it.....

[cort16]

This guy can be annoying but his how too's are pretty interesting including this one on hydroforming steel using a a pressure washer.

 

[cort16]

too much shouting, but I agree what he creates is good

[3VOM]

Signum failed the MOT. Broken spring - not unusual on Signum/Vectras. Both back tyres, which are Dunlops, have splits in the inside sidewalls, so are dubiously legal as well as MOT fails. Worst of all the front subframe has a hole in it right where the suspension hangs on it. I daren't think how much a new one is, even if they exist, but I don't know how easy a weld repair would be and it would be one of those situations where you could find more damage as you attempt the fix. Plus, as the frame is pretty thick, I suspect my welder and little skill will not be enough for me to effect a repair.

[MarvinsMom]

^would it not be easier to get a second hand sub-frame off of a scrapper and swap it over, rather than try to repair it?

[doobietoo]

Like most youtube videos I watch them with the sound off same effect but no irritation...

[purplebargeken]

He's a fucking lunatic. Mad as a box of stoned frogs. 

[Kiltox]

Signum failed the MOT. Broken spring - not unusual on Signum/Vectras. Both back tyres, which are Dunlops, have splits in the inside sidewalls, so are dubiously legal as well as MOT fails. Worst of all the front subframe has a hole in it right where the suspension hangs on it. I daren't think how much a new one is, even if they exist, but I don't know how easy a weld repair would be and it would be one of those situations where you could find more damage as you attempt the fix. Plus, as the frame is pretty thick, I suspect my welder and little skill will not be enough for me to effect a repair.

If you're near Cheltenham, it's a rear spring and they're the same as a Vectra C estate, I have one in my workshop somewhere you're welcome to have

 

(Or if you want to pay the postage)

[cobblers]

I'd love a pressure washer but you need a full, empty 8x6 shed to store one in because the FUCKING PAIN THE THE ARSE SHITTY NYLON HOSE is completely impossible to coil up in any meaningful way and keep it that way for more than about 5 seconds without it springing all over the place. Do the better ones have a rubber hose like proper hydraulic stuff? I've only ever used JTF or AA branded bollocks.

[Kiltox]

I'd love a pressure washer but you need a full, empty 8x6 shed to store one in because the FUCKING PAIN THE THE ARSE SHITTY NYLON HOSE is completely impossible to coil up in any meaningful way and keep it that way for more than about 5 seconds without it springing all over the place. Do the better ones have a rubber hose like proper hydraulic stuff? I've only ever used JTF or AA branded bollocks.

Cable ties?

[UmBongo]

My Aunt just bought herself a very good pressure washer.

 

I will be using it to do my car.

 

The downside is that I'll have to clean her car and her paved driveway for the privilege.

[cobblers]

Unless she's going to pack it away after, just pay £2000 and get your car resprayed, its easier. The bodyshop will probably wash it for you.

[3VOM]

^would it not be easier to get a second hand sub-frame off of a scrapper and swap it over, rather than try to repair it?

First I'd have to source one in sufficiently better condition than mine to justify the effort in swapping it. Second I have nowhere to work indoors. I also suspect I'll need an engine lift or frame of some sort (seen someone on a Vx owners forum do it). I'm just worried that there is so much hung off the subframe that I have to remove and refit that it becomes an expensive job e.g. re-gas air con.

[Parky]

do the Signums not share front end parts with the Vectra? I would have thought finding a subframe would easy bit

[3VOM]

If you're near Cheltenham, it's a rear spring and they're the same as a Vectra C estate, I have one in my workshop somewhere you're welcome to have

 

(Or if you want to pay the postage)

I'll bear it in mind thank you but the spring is a lesser worry than the solution to the front subframe. On this the rear spring is either a bolt or two and drop the arm, swap spring or four bolts holding a carrier, spring compressors and swap spring. A job which I hope would be reasonably straight forward for me.

[MarvinsMom]

do the Signums not share front end parts with the Vectra? I would have thought finding a subframe would easy bit

thats what i was thinking, the signum is the daft lwb, not lwb thing that looks like a vectra?

[3VOM]

do the Signums not share front end parts with the Vectra? I would have thought finding a subframe would easy bit

I believe they are the same but the issue is finding one in good condition (bits of them rusting is a known issue) and the cost of the associated work to swap them over. Also not sure yet if the diesel differs from the petrol.

[3VOM]

thats what i was thinking, the signum is the daft lwb, not lwb thing that looks like a vectra?

Yes, I try to think of it as a Vectra hatchback.

[Ghosty]

Couriers.

 

I've been expecting a parcel this week, 8am today I get an email from ipostparcel/UKMail saying there'll be a delivery between 10:35 and 11:35. 

That's great but I'm in central London (last minute decision for a quick holiday), Old Man is in a hangar at Stansted Airport, and the mother is going out. 

I phone the mother who leaves a note telling the courier to leave it with a neighbour who's been informed.

 

I can only guess that the courier never showed up or went to the wrong street  (xxxx Street not xxxx Avenue, that idiotically join on to each other) because of sat nav, nobody in at the wrong house.

10:50 while trying to find a Boris bike docking station that's not full of bikes, I get a 'sorry we missed you' email saying nobody answered the door and the fucker's left a card and not delivered, despite the note that was left. (This makes me think wrong street).

We don't have the card, our neighbours don't, and the same number house on the other street doesn't have it either 'cause the mother went round later on to ask.  

The email says to 'click the button below' to rearrange delivery.. well <ahnold> THERE IS NO BATHROOM BUTTON</ahnold>. Luckily there's a card number in the email so I've sent a query to UKMail to see WTF is going on.

 

The amount of times this has happened makes me want to go out with some spray paint, and vandalise the road with 'THIS IS NOT xxxxx AVENUE - KEEP GOING', as well as painting some street signs on the wall as the council apparently can't afford to put more than 1 sign out of 4 where two different named roads meet, so it looks like one road.)

[xtriple]

Having exhumed the Mazda thought I;d fit the new bit of door trim I bought a month ago. No, can't 'cos the first screw I came to ti get the door panel off (holds the escutcheon round the internal door handle) hasn't got a head. Not just a bit chewed, sort of ground off! Drill in garage, need electricity, can't be arsed. So I washed it instead.

 

I do like the Mazda, it's so much fun and I give zero fucks about ti so I can relax when driving it. Unlike the other bugger where I am constantly on edge.

[dave21478]

I'd love a pressure washer but you need a full, empty 8x6 shed to store one in because the FUCKING PAIN THE THE ARSE SHITTY NYLON HOSE is completely impossible to coil up in any meaningful way and keep it that way for more than about 5 seconds without it springing all over the place. Do the better ones have a rubber hose like proper hydraulic stuff? I've only ever used JTF or AA branded bollocks.

Absolutely.

 

 

You want a nuclear powered robot remotely exploring the surface of Mars? No problem, there is about 4 of them up there.

 

You want a pressure washer thats not shit? with beefed up versions of a hoovers retractable flex mechanism for its own power cord and hose? Literally fucking impossible. Cant be done.

[SiC]

What's this shit...

 

 

I literally could not find what the oil grade, specification or anything on what this oil is.

 

Being Castrol Edge, I would assume it is their full synthetic (as its their synthetic brand), but there isn't even any mention of that.

[andy18s]

Castrol "Living On The Edge"

[omegod]

I'll bear it in mind thank you but the spring is a lesser worry than the solution to the front subframe. On this the rear spring is either a bolt or two and drop the arm, swap spring or four bolts holding a carrier, spring compressors and swap spring. A job which I hope would be reasonably straight forward for me.

 

 

Lower shock bolt out and you can push the lower arm down with your foot, voila spring out with no need for compressor

[dave21478]

No rating, no spec, not suitable for sporty  engines or classics, not to use more than 1 bottle between oil changes......I would bet its the shittiest Valu Brand budget oil available that is normally a mix of whatever is left in the bottom of their bulk tanks and optimistically labeled 10W40 that has been rebranded into shiny Castrol bottles. It can be sold as it is because pretty much anything runny and slippery is better than no oil at all and most folk dont know any better.