The grumpy thread

[Albert Ross]

Father Ted me old mucker, you WERE warned anout buying a Zafira with this fecking FIAT engine in........ It's highly likely your DPF is wanting it to drive at 30000000000 rpm for 200 miles or summat daft just to "self clean" which helps you in no way whatsoever if you're just popped to the chippy or gone dogging..............My Daughter bought a Vectra with the 1.9 120 in, it stumbled, stuttered, cut out, jerked, did the shit every time, and our sales manager had the cheek to suggest that as she was a woman, she had no idea how to drive a diesel............. I stepped in before her 6'5" Husband did........ He suggested driving it through the showroom window at 33 degrees, so it would fit perfectly up the sales manager's arse! The fault was never found, over 900 quid was spent by the warranty firm, and my Daughter tried to reject it after 3 weeks.... They eventually got an exchange after 13 weeks, and a lot of rude words were said. I almost resigned over the problem. They now have a 150 brake Astra SRi. Faultless. I would recommend getting it checked on the TechII system, (at their cost) before finally shoving it firmly up their arses. These wank Italian engines are wanker than a wank thing in a wank place surrounded by wankers, erm... wanking.Have you considered a Skoda Yeti? I don't know if you need all 7 seats, but it's a right looker, low volume, and bonus future-shite credentials oozing out of every door seal.

[boobydoo]

Can anyone confirm that it's now Sainsbury's policy to call their customers "mate"?Thats three times in a row now that the till bod has said "Thanks, mate" when I'm paying for my goods........and no, it wasn't the same person each time.Actually today the bill came to exactly £21 and he said, "That's 21 quid, mate".I think I may pop to Waitrose next time to see if I can get a "Watch'a Cock!" from the lady on the deli counter.

[brammy777]

I avoid saying mate to customers, its too sudden and not really what they want to hear, thankyou and bye is enough really. Am I the only one who got 'Connection was Reset' for the past hour when trying to reload the page?Anyway, there was a bit on the local news about the HST being replaced, and how the program has been put on hold for now, cue the people saying because they are old they are knackered. Im not a train expert, but they have been re-engined and refurbished a fair few times now, and would the replacements have had more seats anyway? From the look of them, they wouldnt. Im happy to be corrected though!

[Guest]

HSTs are ace, I used to look forward to the rare occasion I'd end up with one on the way back from Uni. Loads better than those Intercity 225s.

[wuvvum]

The forum did appear to be down for a while.I love HSTs, but I deplore the fact that they have been re-engined - the best bit about them was the ear-splitting shriek they used to make pulling out of stations.

[Cavcraft]

Standing under the Nova looking at much brown crumbliness. 12 months MOT it may have, but I wouldn't fancy even a low speed crash in it at the moment. Logic says I should eBay it now, but the prospect of...DATS DA BLU INTREOR INIT M8 GIV U 50 QUID...is not too appealing.Wondering if the body man is going to laugh when he sees it.BOLLOCKS.

Hey bell me if you're getting shut please. Can't promise to actually have any money at the time but you never know.

[brammy777]

If I remember rightly there is a Preservation group with some of the old engines, and they hope to make one original when they are finally withdrawn.Yeh, I like them too. Ive been on a fair few over the years, so much better than the underfloor Diesels on the East Midlands line. They did suit the Intercity White/Black better than any other colours though.

[chester drawers]

if you're getting shut.

I'm hoping its not going to come to that, but it's not looking too clever to my untrained eye. Unmolested Nova Antibes are getting pretty scarce and I've had it a long time so it wont be disappearing without a fight! I'll let you know though cheers!

[Father Ted]

These wank Italian engines are wanker than a wank thing in a wank place surrounded by wankers, erm... wanking..

I showed this to Mrs Ted- she LOL'ed a lot, but says yes we do need all 7 seats thank you... Kia Sedona???

[Minimad5]

Kia Sedona???

NOOOOOOOOO!Don't do it !!Had 3 of them come in a "nice place" i worked.2 HGF and the other Oil starvation.I am forgetting what i was told about these... what was it If i remember i will edit..Anyway don't do it !P.s:Don't get one with a DVD player in !

[Father Ted]

Any reason why not one with a DVD player?

 

She needs something for when she takes the ladies from the knitting circle out...

[Minimad5]

Some dealers had the not so amazing task of fitting the DVD players and spliced any sorts of wires to get them working.I can't mention names so lets say "man1"When in a certain dealership Man1 was fitting a DVD player in a sedona and spliced the interior light wires to run the unit and found out it only worked when the doors were opened or the lights were turned on.He then spliced into some other wire (Think it was for a amplified / powered aerial i could be wrong) and the radio had crap reception but he didn't care.He then used stupidly long screw to attach the unit to the headlining.And 4 nice dints in the roof later he was done.There have been occasions of headlights not working and ABS and other warning lights coming on after sales reps or the stoner mechanic who only works weekends, have toyed around and fitted DVD players.So just check everything works

[warren t claim]

Quote "...stoner mechanic who only works weekends, have toyed around and fitted DVD players."Don't you mean StonerAcre mechanic?

[Minimad5]

haha.Did you ever work there warren ?(Sorry for the insult, but you know exactly what dealership i am talking about)

[warren t claim]

haha.Did you ever work there warren ?(Sorry for the insult, but you know exactly what dealership i am talking about)

No but I have had the pleasure of test driving a Sedona. Awful car.

[Minimad5]

What sales rep tried to plant that piece of poo on you ?If it was the big guy with more muschles than brain matter, then he is just plain wrong.He boasted about having is C*ck out under the desk when finalising a deal with a customer Wonder if Paul Mc-Vay - (i can't spell his name) - still is in charge of that place. Bet he doesn't know half the stuff that goes on.

[chester drawers]

Thats three times in a row now that the till bod has said "Thanks, mate" when I'm paying for my goods. .......and no, it wasn't the same person each time.

Perhaps three people have left the parochial confines of Stoke-on-Trent for somewhere other than Benidorm. If they have that's most unusual.

[Father Ted]

The twat that booted both my wing mirrors last night and totally destroyed the drivers side one. Its obviously a personal vendetta as my mirrors were folded in when I parked up - they were pulled out then twatted into the car not only breaking the mirrors but badly chipping the door glass too (how they didnt break fuck only knows).No one else's car was touched.Anyway, spent an hour pissing about trying to fix them - managed to salvage the passenger side one, but the drivers one was utterly FUBAR.Went to Nissan for a laugh - £161 + VAT for a plain black one.Went to Halfrauds, scored some glass, scored some Araldite and glued the bastard back into place - no longer adjusts, but I dont care.I just want to know which bastard it was, then Im going to nail his cock to a breezeblock.

[barrett]

where do dealers get the prices from? thats fuggin ridiculous!sorry to hear you've had trouble with t'youth, bastards need a good slapping for starters.

[Father Ted]

One of two really - someone (and I have my suspicions) who is pissed off I park on the road occasionally when I have a driveway. Or someone I have pissed off through the course of work (and there are RATHER a lot of them working in drugs & prison).Bought a NOS one off eBay for £19.94 inc postage. That'll do - now I need to work out how to pull the trim off!

[meggersdog]

Find the twat,rip all his fingernails off and use them to remove the trim

[Albert Ross]

HMV......... Recorded music shop right?No Focus, No PWEI, No "Hot Club de Paris" (Rheinhardt/Grappelli) No copy of Chopin's "Heroic" Polonaise that isn't on a compilation of Richard Claydermans Greatest hits...... Just contrived synthi-pop. Utterly disappointed, and I feel discriminated against for having taste and preference to unique musical stylings. Wankers.What's the current trend in teenagers for shuffling? I was surrounded by sweaty youths, and overdressed 13 year old girls trying to look like they perform oral sex for money, none of whom could pick their feet up to move around, there was this dreadful scraping noise from all the feet around me. Young wankers.Women's clothes sizes. What is it all about? Nothing between a 14 and a 20 for the Wife to try on, you're either emaciated, or a bloater. In between? Average? Bugger off then, you're not wanted here, we only accept Mobility cheques because you're an overeater or a non-eater. Fat/thin wankers.

[barrett]

Al.... try ebay or play.com or amazon, chain music shops are not only rubbish but a total waste of money..... most people shop online now for stuff like CDs so they tend to only really stock the stuff that 'passing trade' will pick up because it's in the charts (or however the kids decide whats cool these days). Even better than shopping online, try and find an independant record shop near you, they'll have a better selection of non-chart stuff and you'll be helping a dying industry giving them your money instead of some huge faceless chain store. I've not set foot inside a virgin/hmv type place for a decade thank god.infact even better than all of that, get a record player! I think i've got the whole Focus discography for under a tenner, seems even mint LPs are only worth about £1, plus you get to look at the lovely fold-out sleeve of 'live at the rainbow'!

[whitevanman]

Capri's............always said they were shite and the only good part of them was the bits that fitted on to Cortina's...............I'm right, they are shite, especially one where some wanker has cobbled together an engine swap.............dear gods it would have been easier and quicker for them if they had just done it correctly.....Straight engine swap I said...FUCK, I could have done it from the start quicker than sorting out his fuck ups............ actually I could have installed a V8 quicker than sorting this mess out

[Guest]

I went in HMV and I can't understand how they make any money at all, there wasn't a single cassette in the place. It's pathetic.

[Albert Ross]

Oh, there was a Gracie Fields CD................. But sadly, no 78's.

[Guest]

Think I'm going bald. I have this concern every so often. My dad was very bald in his early 20s, so I have reason to worry. Might just glue some bits of carpet to my head.

[CortinaDave]

Wigs are good these days, no one can really tell

 

[MrDuke]

Think I'm going bald. I have this concern every so often. My dad was very bald in his early 20s, so I have reason to worry. Might just glue some bits of carpet to my head.

Apparently, hair 'issues' are always inherited from the maternal side of the family. I can personally attest to this, as Fatha_duke's dad had an impressively thick head of hair right up until he died at about 154 yrs old. I started thinning in my late 20s, and photographic evidence would suggest that my maternal relatives have all suffered a similar fate.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I started thinning when I was in the sixth form,never did me any harm. apart from repeated beatings and having my home burned down by local death squads.