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Posted

Speedhumps: A few years ago out local council had a bit of a nutty but fairly pro-car bod at its helm who decided that when any road with speedhumps was resurfaced they would properly consult and consider whether to re-install them afterwards. Asa result many roads are now bump free as the increased pollution and extended emergency vehicle response time they cause was not popular.Loreal etc advertss: I don't watch much TV. But this kind of ad makes me annoyed for one reason alone and I'm sure I've mentioned it before in this thread. They almost without fail have a small caption naming the person who is telling you that "you're worth it". Now the person ought to be very well known to the celeb following public these ads are aimed at or its simply bad marketing. The rest of us who couldn't care less who is swishing their hair in our direction really, err couldn't care less whether it is Davina on the phone to her mother or Mrs Piggy chatting to teh grumpy old men.I have seen the occasional piece of genius on Mock the Week. But a lot of it is tosh.

Posted

Here's a good advert:

 

Have to say I've found myself really wound up by the Burger King "-king" adverts at the moment. It's not that I'm easily offended, but it's just tragically unfunny. I can't believe such a huge company has produced such an amateurish advertising campaign.

Posted

I seem to recall dialing a carpet warehouse when I was younger, you know, in that playing with the phone phase, and an automated message answered.It sounded just like him. Hung up pretty fast though.....

Posted

Rant:Racing Cyclists. Seriously, the racing of motor-vehicles on the public highway is very much prohibited, but lycra-clad TWATS can race each other and expect everyone else to cede to them. AND that they are allowed to use the A1 as a fricking racetrack.... these moronic fitness freaks seem to think it is OK to "race" across both lanes, or swerve between each other without signalling to other road users... or the one that really, REALLY grips my balls, race in packs across roundabouts totally oblivious or ignorant of traffic coming from the right that they should give way to.

Posted

Obviously this shouldn't be condoned but my mate came out of a pub once to be confronted by a huge amount of these spandex clad twats across the road.Unable to resist temptation he pushed the first one over and the whole lot went down like a stack of dominos (dominoes?). He said it was worth getting nicked for and the subsequent paltry fine.Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
Posted

They almost without fail have a small caption naming the person who is telling you that "you're worth it".

Well, apparently, Cheryl Cole is NOT worth it...
Posted

wtf is "multi air technology"?

Tbh multiair is a pretty big shift in technology in petrol engines :)
http://www.fptmultiair.com/flash_multiair_eng/home.htmhttp://www.italiaspeed.com/2009/cars/al ... model.htmlSome pictures as wellhttp://www.italiaspeed.com/2009/cars/ot ... llery.htmlThe problem is people are so thick these days when it comes to cars that if they explained how it worked in an advert then people probably wouldn't buy into it.
Posted

Some little cumstain on another forum complaining about their car needing to be driven to someone else to a paintshop for a warranty repair and saying they don't want someone else driving their car 20 miles on the motorway. Get over it you twerp! It's a car ffs.

Posted

couldn't care less whether it is Davina on the phone to her mother or Mrs Piggy chatting to teh grumpy old men.

I do get a big 'FNARRR' at the one where the old milf lass asks if it will do her 'bit of grey'.
Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
+1
Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
What worries me is when people fall for all this bollocks. Alas Mrs C is one of them. Obviously 'only' spending £120 getting her hair done is evidentally nowhere near enough, and that £27.50 bottle of Clamsprout Laboratories shampoo is absolutely essentail :roll: To make matters worse the daft mare actually thinks buying job lots of parts for a car I've never owned (and probably never will) is a waste of money.
Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
What worries me is when people fall for all this bollocks. Alas Mrs C is one of them. Obviously 'only' spending £120 getting her hair done is evidentally nowhere near enough, and that £27.50 bottle of Clamsprout Laboratories shampoo is absolutely essentail :roll: To make matters worse the daft mare actually thinks buying job lots of parts for a car I've never owned (and probably never will) is a waste of money.
Ditto. My mum says my dad's is a fool for having spare engines and boxes for the Fiat 500 he restored and now never drives as well as having spare engines, boxes and diffs for his Peugeot 504. Who knows when you're going to go through a few diffs in a short amount of time!!!!
Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
What worries me is when people fall for all this bollocks. Alas Mrs C is one of them. Obviously 'only' spending £120 getting her hair done is evidentally nowhere near enough, and that £27.50 bottle of Clamsprout Laboratories shampoo is absolutely essentail :roll: To make matters worse the daft mare actually thinks buying job lots of parts for a car I've never owned (and probably never will) is a waste of money.
Sadly, I think most women fall for this shit.Think I've mentioned it before, but 'Ford Kinetic Design' gets my goat. 'Every new Ford is designed to look like its moving - even when its not'.Err, no its not. A stationary Ford looks like a stationary Ford. And why would you want it to look like its moving anyway. Grrrrrrr.
Posted

Back to those bleeding beauty products, does anyone else think the makers invent scientific names for the shit they put in them?'New Slagnet salon shampoo now contains spunktoflate 896.2 and 14% jizzfactorate for the ultimate shine'.

My God yes! Pseudoscientific bollocks, and it really does make me seethe! And the way they say things like, "Now with added extract of bamboo (or avocado, or whatever)" without bothering to mention why that's supposed to be a good thing! It's creeping into car ads too- excuse my ignorance, but wtf is "multi air technology"? If all this kind of stuff angers you as much as it does me, I can highly recommend a book called Bad Science by Ben Goldacre. Read it, but be prepared to be very angry!!
What worries me is when people fall for all this bollocks. Alas Mrs C is one of them. Obviously 'only' spending £120 getting her hair done is evidentally nowhere near enough, and that £27.50 bottle of Clamsprout Laboratories shampoo is absolutely essentail :roll: To make matters worse the daft mare actually thinks buying job lots of parts for a car I've never owned (and probably never will) is a waste of money.
Sadly, I think most women fall for this shit.Think I've mentioned it before, but 'Ford Kinetic Design' gets my goat. 'Every new Ford is designed to look like its moving - even when its not'.Err, no its not. A stationary Ford looks like a stationary Ford. And why would you want it to look like its moving anyway. Grrrrrrr.
Ford Kinetic design works for me. Whenever I'm crossing the street and there's a new Fester, Focus, Ka or Cugger parked up I have to watch it for a few seconds just to make sure it's not actually moving towards me at a great rate of speed putting my life in imminent danger if I step out onto the road. Honest!
Posted

A stationary Ford looks like a stationary Ford. And why would you want it to look like its moving anyway. Grrrrrrr.

Imagine if you had one parked on your driveway, how often would you look out of the window and shout

 

"Oh no! My fiesta is rolling away at 100 mph"

 

"oh, hang on..."

 

"Nope, it just LOOKS like it is moving"

 

Incidently, all that Bifidous actiregularis and bifidous digestivum bollocks makes me chuckle - as if anybody is that gullable....

 

:roll:

 

For an adverts that boil my piss, see Tesco "We're comitted to help you spend less!"

 

NO THEY'RE NOT! That is the exact opposite of their aims.

 

And British Gas "We know times are hard, THATS why we lowered our gas price"

 

Utter fucking rubbish - the lot of it.

 

Can someone explain to me what the advertising standards council actually does?! :mad:

 

*lies down somewhere quiet*

Posted

My fucking wanky pile of shite 57 plate Vauxhall Zafira 1900dizzler has fucking died again thanks to its fucking utter shite Euro-4 emissions controll bollocks.2 ECUs1 Exhaust and its still lasting 6 months between trips to the dealers. Well I dont give a shit now its getting fixed then chopped against something else. Blue oval perhaps? Twatmeisters.

Posted

And British Gas "We know times are hard, THATS why we lowered our gas price"Utter fucking rubbish - the lot of it. *lies down somewhere quiet*

Maybe this would be of interest?http://www.atcostenergy.com/ 8)
Posted

Well I dont give a shit now its getting fixed then chopped against something else. Blue oval perhaps?

Look at the 'shite' alternatives... have you considered the 1971 Land Rover, or perhaps the 1984 Citroen CX Familiare... or even the 1963 Bedford CA workabus...??
Posted

My fucking wanky pile of shite 57 plate Vauxhall Zafira 1900dizzler has fucking died again thanks to its fucking utter shite Euro-4 emissions controll bollocks.2 ECUs1 Exhaust and its still lasting 6 months between trips to the dealers. Well I dont give a shit now its getting fixed then chopped against something else. Blue oval perhaps? Twatmeisters.

If the Cmax is as reliable as the ordinary Focus, it should be a good buy. I have heard that S Maxs and Galaxys are the most unreliable cars in Ford's range.What about the Volkwagen thing - Touran?
Posted

Something without a diesel particulate filter and a dual-mass flywheel would be a start on the road to improved reliability. Don't VW still make the good old 1.9TDI without any excess crap on it?Given that most new diesels seem to be a complete lottery in their propensity to break down, perhaps a petrol would be a better bet?

Posted

Can someone explain to me what the advertising standards council actually does?! :mad:

That's what I'd like to know! It seems advertisers can make any claim they like, without having to provide any actual evidence. I'd like to know what The Advertising Standards Authority's budget is, and what they spend it on!!
Posted

That's what I'd like to know! It seems advertisers can make any claim they like, without having to provide any actual evidence. I'd like to know what The Advertising Standards Authority's budget is, and what they spend it on!!

(i) Lots(ii) Hair-care products and very small pots of bacteria laden off-milk.
Posted

I have tried to sell the benefits of a LDV Convoy to the wife1) cheap2) lots of roombut she is having none of it and wants another Zafira as she likes the seats in the back..... I am looking at 1.6 petrol ones - does anyone here know if these are just as wank? Doesnt Albert Ross work for Vauxhall?

Posted

Sorry, it's football.The club I have watched on/off for forty odd years have gone bust today. Had some right laughs watching them and many bloody awful days too. Met loads of new mates there, went with my dad and took my kids along myself.Hell, I even indulged in a spot of horizontal jogging with a certain lady there one evening (no, the game wasn't on and no-one was about) and now it's all over.Chester City F.C: You made me laugh, you made me f******g annoyed, you caused countless arguments between the missus and I, and you were shit far more often than you were good. But I'll miss you.

Posted

Glad some are in agreement with those bloody adverts , anyway today i got my paycheque ( my once a month laughing hysterically moment / crying woefully ) within 10 minuites the backbox on my 51 plate Ashtray gives up and sounded likes its farting , £79 + later and a quick grovel to fit it its sorted , just when i get some dosh something needs fixing / spending on , WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted

just when i get some dosh something needs fixing / spending on , WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm afraid that's just life! :twisted::lol:
Posted

I have tried to sell the benefits of a LDV Convoy to the wife1) cheap2) lots of roombut she is having none of it and wants another Zafira as she likes the seats in the back..... I am looking at 1.6 petrol ones - does anyone here know if these are just as wank? Doesnt Albert Ross work for Vauxhall?

From my brief experience with a 1.6 Zafira I can definitely recommend a bigger engine. Even with only 2 of us in the car, my foot was flat down everywhere to keep up with traffic. Fuel consumption was so bad I suspected a hole in the tank. I know it sounds unreasonable, but don't ignore the Kia Carens.
Posted

Standing under the Nova looking at much brown crumbliness. 12 months MOT it may have, but I wouldn't fancy even a low speed crash in it at the moment. Logic says I should eBay it now, but the prospect of...DATS DA BLU INTREOR INIT M8 GIV U 50 QUID...is not too appealing.Wondering if the body man is going to laugh when he sees it.BOLLOCKS.

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