The grumpy thread

[myglaren]

The new Polo I had over hogmanay had traction control.If the wheels started slipping then a light on the dashboard would flash.It didn't apply brakes or lower the revs or have any other affect at all.I turned it off and the light flashed constantly, even when not moving.Pile of shit!

#1 son has the same problem with his Golf GTi.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Likewise, a good mate of mine. Known each other from we were nippers. Daz was a big lad (a brickie) with a great sense of humour, and everyone liked him. Drank like a fish and smoked like a train.He started off on blow, graduated to E's. I found the poor bastard dead in his flat. Even before the ambulance crew arrived I knew from his eyes that he had suffocated.I like the Chinese approach to drug dealers - execution.RIP Daz 1981-2009

Shit, thats really harsh.

[Cheggers]

I know it's been said before, but...PARCELFARCE - What a bunch of incompetent tossbags they are.They tried to deliver a parcel to me on Monday when I was out so I rearranged delivery online for Friday, as I need the parcel for Sunday. They then tried to deliver again on Tuesday and Wednesday, but, come Friday did my parcel turn up...did it fuck!Queue a long spell of hanging on for their call centre, who told me it will possibly be delivered on Monday, or maybe Tuesday. Definitely no later than Thursday What are these twats smoking...do they really think I have nothing better to do than hang around on my backside waiting for them to turn up.The call centre did suggest I drive over to the depot (25 miles each way) to collect it - Just let me make sure I understand this...you're a DELIVERY service, right?? So, I've just emailed their MD's office suggesting it might be a good idea to deliver it on Wednesday, when I'll be in. Am I confident it'll turn up as requested? No.That bunch of flanges couldn't even spell logistics.

[155V6]

I know it's been said before, but...PARCELFARCE - What a bunch of incompetent tossbags they are.They tried to deliver a parcel to me on Monday when I was out so I rearranged delivery online for Friday, as I need the parcel for Sunday. They then tried to deliver again on Tuesday and Wednesday, but, come Friday did my parcel turn up...did it fuck!Queue a long spell of hanging on for their call centre, who told me it will possibly be delivered on Monday, or maybe Tuesday. Definitely no later than Thursday What are these twats smoking...do they really think I have nothing better to do than hang around on my backside waiting for them to turn up.The call centre did suggest I drive over to the depot (25 miles each way) to collect it - Just let me make sure I understand this...you're a DELIVERY service, right?? So, I've just emailed their MD's office suggesting it might be a good idea to deliver it on Wednesday, when I'll be in. Am I confident it'll turn up as requested? No.That bunch of flanges couldn't even spell logistics.

Which depot is it being delivered from?

[Cheggers]

Aldershot...your neck of the woods?

[Pillock]

Parcelfarce are lazy twats.

Quick edit: Apart from 155V6, that is

 

My GF's new phone was due to arrive on Thursday, via them. At 2.15pm she got a phone call to say the driver wouldn't be making the delivery due to adverse weather conditions - Thursday being the first day of the big thaw, but still a bit slushy on backroads.

 

"Oh, but you've got it there then have you?"

"Yes madam, we have the parcel here and will attempt re-delivery at some point"

"So I can pop down and pick it up?"

"Well, yes."

"Using the same fairly clear roads that I've just driven over ten minutes ago, which is the same route your driver would have to take?"

"Erm, yes"

"Great, see you in half an hour"

 

And she did. And it was, ooooh, very moist road but somehow she made it

[155V6]

Aldershot...your neck of the woods?

I work there

[Cheggers]

Aldershot...your neck of the woods?

I work there

Oops indeed...sorry fella, nothing personal. As is always the way with these things, it would have been so much better if I could just get accurate information from the call centre people, or even some form of communication telling me my arranged Friday delivery was a non-starter - I'm sure you'll understand that "we'll deliver it sometime but I don't know when" ain't a lot of help.Deliver it in a mk1 Transit or early CF and all is forgiven

[Lukas]

I hate the typical german car-chauvinism so much, I could be angry all over the year.

[FredTransit]

Don't get me on the Post Office. Once had a battle with them. Had a call from a 'Manager'. Stood on the doorstep he said they would not be able to deliver post any more due to the postpersons not being able to get to the letter box, because of the vans parked on the property. He was stood on the doorstep at the time, right next to the letter box. When I pointed that out, and remarked he could get to the letterbox, that er, ended the conversation.

[Pillock]

We had a "Sorry we missed you" card through the letterbox.My GF watched the postman walk down the path, pop it through and walk off. The sofa even faces the front door so she could see that he stood there for less than 2 seconds. By the time she realised what it was, he'd driven off.

[pompei]

There was something on the wireless about that the other week. The story came from a postie who said they have so much to carry, they simply don't bring out any packages and pre-write the calling cards.

[saabhappy]

The other side of the coin is that maybe things are different in rural areas, because our posties, Rob & John, are both brilliant guys who get through in all sorts of lousy weather and have never let us down.Just lucky I guess!

[Pillock]

To be fair, our regular postman is a gem.... always closes the gate behind him, and knows if we have a packet that won't go through the letterbox, to knock and then go and stand the other side of the gate so I don't worry about the mutts getting out.The moron I was referring to is the lazy git driving around in a VX Combo which should have parcels in the back, but doesn't

[Ratdat]

My postman is quality. If he has a package for me and I'm not in, he hides it somewhere in the yard or puts in any car out there that's unlocked and pops a card though the letterbox telling me where it is. He also turns up no matter what the weather. Champion!

[Tayne]

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[chester drawers]

Unscientific sweeping generalization time. 1 and X-series BMWs are exclusively driven by complete cocks. If there are any exceptions, I’ve yet to encounter them. Apologies for unoriginal comment. Perhaps I need to reduce my caffeine intake.

[Parky]

Not at all Chester, they are both deserving targets.I often find X5's are driven by tiny women driving with one hand so they can have a chat on their mobile. All that money and no Bluetooth, tsk, piece of sh*t.I think Sniff Petrol summed up 1 series ownership with two posters - one for the hatch saying "Christ, you must be desperate to own a BMW" and one for the saloon entitled "Make way for Noddy" which made me crack up

[Pillock]

The 1-series has taken the place of the 316.... for those who must, absolutely MUST have a BMW on the driveway (for they always have a driveway in front of their tiny newbuild) and refuse to admit they could have had a much nicer Focus for the price (years ago it would have been a Sierra in place of the 316, natch).It's the same people who join you for a drink in the pub and throw their carkeys on the table to show the BMW logo. I usually try to drip beer on them until they put them in their pocket.

[CIH]

Shit heads who assume you're on call 24hrs a day because you work in a garage. "Hi yeah I dumped my crappy car in a carpark 3 months ago and I know you were due to close 15mins ago and have been open since 8:30 but I assume you've nothing better to do on a Saturday night so could you come and jump my car ?"No, fuck-off. Call the bloody AA. What, no breakdown cover ? Serves you right for being tight, idiot.

[whitevanman]

My postman is quality. If he has a package for me and I'm not in, he hides it somewhere in the yard or puts in any car out there that's unlocked and pops a card though the letterbox telling me where it is. He also turns up no matter what the weather. Champion!

mine are exactly the same...great

[peter9000uk]

Not at all Chester, they are both deserving targets.I think Sniff Petrol summed up 1 series ownership with two posters - one for the hatch saying "Christ, you must be desperate to own a BMW" and one for the saloon entitled "Make way for Noddy" which made me crack up

Round my way they all seem to be driven by spotty faced 18 year old estate agents. I know this because the website address is plastered all over the car! Mind you business must be looking up as it used to be Smart cars

[FredTransit]

Bloody ell. Unheard of round here.....

[Pillock]

We Buy Any Car dot com.That is all.

[FredTransit]

Oh yes! I see they must have suckered a lot of gullible types, as their annoying advert now has a full production involving dancers and that fookin annoying jingle!

[Pillock]

In fact, there's plenty of adverts. The WBAC.com advert was on and it made me SOOOOO mad I just had to click the thread and reply. But then right after it, the Halifax Gold advert with the tossers in the radio studio. Another one designed to make me go out into the street and punch a tramp.See also: any air-freshner advert that's been badly dubbed, and the Boots "Here Come The Girls" rubbish.

[shite_meister]

See also: any air-freshner advert that's been badly dubbed, and the Boots "Here Come The Girls" rubbish.

I've mentioned this before, Boots might as well just come out and say "Men are shit" perhaps I'd carry the contents of a small Pharmacy if I had monthly 'womens issues'

[Richard]

That advert for Seat with the crazed mass murderer going around shooting people with a cross-bow.

That advert is supposed to be about how good looking the car is but in reality it's so unspeakably ugly that they barely show it at all.I predict that Seat will be the next wanker chariot of choice.

[Mr Lobster]

I predict that Seat will be the next wanker chariot of choice.

Hope not! I'd really like an Exeo (in about five years once they get cheap).

[Tayne]

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