The grumpy thread

[M'coli]

If you fancy a nice grown up music radio station I can highly recommend 6 Music

Listened to this at work for a while when Phil Jupitus/Gideon Coe was on, but I find that George Lamb is another self-satisfied, puerile onanist who loves the sound of his own ego too much, so we stopped. 6 Music did increase my range of music a bit (I am a miserable bastard and like miserable music, preferably in a minor key) but I'm not prepared to listen to Lamb.

[Richard]

Listened to this at work for a while when Phil Jupitus/Gideon Coe was on, but I find that George Lamb is another self-satisfied, puerile onanist who loves the sound of his own ego too much, so we stopped. 6 Music did increase my range of music a bit (I am a miserable bastard and like miserable music, preferably in a minor key) but I'm not prepared to listen to Lamb.

+1

[seth]

Oh well, I enjoy George Lamb's meaningless drivel and banter. Still you can't please everyone. Feel free to continue being grumpy

[Father Ted]

I like Radio 7, but it gets on my tits when they keep apologising a the time for stuff recorded 50 years ago being " not terrribly PC".

[Andrew353w]

Radio 7-it's great! I've discovered "Paul Temple" and like it so much I've put "The Coronation Scott' on my mobile as my ring tone! Not only that, I've also ordered the stories on CD! I'm beginning to think I ought to get out more....

[MrDuke]

I used to quite fancy Penny Mallory when she first came on telly a good few years back...

You really shouldn't be admitting to that on a public forum. I mean, I'll concede to a fondness for Vicki Butler-Thingummy (afetr a few jars), but that's my limit...

 

 

To slightly change the subject, Richard Branson can shove his ISP division sideways up his rectal sphincter. I've had to re-connect no less than 13 times tonight, in the space of half an hour, and this isn't exactly unusual. I'm not asking for an uber-fast 16Mb connection ffs, just the ability to stay online for longer than 30 seconds at a time. I'm actually PAYING for this shit?[/i]

[Father Ted]

You think thats bad, every time it rains our modem goes out, but its the box in the street Something trips and we lose telly and modem but not the phone - so we rind up Nadia in India who tells uss she can have an engineer out in 3 days

[pogweasel]

TBH we have had no bother with Virgin thus far, unlike BT/Tiscali which was dreadful.... Tiscali in particular: They'd cut you off for 'essential maintainance', but the only notice you got was by email, usually sent after the cut-off began - can anyone spot the flaw?Getting hooked up to NTL/Virgin in the first place was not easy mind, as we had to repeatly explain to them that our house was not wired for it and they would have to do more than 'flick a switch ' to get us on: They could not believe that we had never been connected, especially as their junction box is right outside our house.....

[Father Ted]

They could not believe that we had never been connected, especially as their junction box is right outside our house.....

Similar with Telewest / Virgin - I had refused it for years from an argement with them when they were first laying cable in the street and they drove a min digger through our hedge (which they denies, despite me seeing them do it). Eventually they paid for some new plants for the hedge. I then battered a great fuck off 1/4 inch thick metal plate down into the ground where the service hatch was so that they couldnt lay cable frm the road onto ,my land, I was that pissed off with Telewest. Anyway a few yeears later I relented and let them install it - they had a feew difficulties initally as in the meantime a huge privet hedge had grown up over the top of the metal plate too...Its amazing how many companies refuse to believe you when you tell them things - many years aho had a big argument with the council over the route the foul water drains took, they pulled out their plans for the site, and I told em where the drains actually were, they of course thought I was talking bollocks because these were official plans signed off back inn 1977.... Then they came and inspected the site and discoverd I was right and their plans were utter bollocks. Then there was the gas board who refused to believe there was no gas meter in the cuboard, then a bloke came down and askd where the meter was and was shown an empty cupboard with capped off gas pipe - he was convinced we were on the fiddle and had a hosepipe running to the gas cooker (only it was a rayburn and oil fired).

[retrogeezer]

Fucking kids on minimotos - aaaaarrrggghhhhh!I am really getting pig sick of chavvy kids riding these things around on the golf course (yes, the golf course) and playing fields across the back from where I live.Are the rozzers likely to do anything? Is it even worth ringing them? I guess it could be to watch them run around chasing them - at least then I would get some entertainment value out of it.

[Father Ted]

7 years ao I paid £200 for a Nokia 3310 on BT Cellnet Paid Up Front For Life - this gave me the benefit of free calls (100 mins) and free texts (20) every month for life, indeed the contract states:

5. "For Life" means that purchasers of a Pay Up Front for Life package will continue to enjoy all the benefits of this package, for as long as they remain connected to Pay UpFront for Life.

Though this is contradictd by clause 9

9.1 We may change this Agreement and the Charges at any time.Changes will be posted on our website www.o2.co.uk.Please check this regularly for

updates.

9.2 If we increase the Charges for the elements of the Service you are using or change the terms and conditions of this Agreement to your significant

disadvantage (in our reasonable opinion)we will give you 30 days'notice in writing before the changes take place.We will notify you as detailed in

paragraph 7 above or we may notify you by text (SMS)to your Mobile Phone number and/or by email where you have supplied your email address to us

for this purpose.

 

Well the fckuing barstewards hav just changed my pay fuck all a month contract to a £35 a month contract. Well Im not taking this lying down and have now started a complaints process citing clause 5 and the fact In mot dead yet - O2 say it refers to the life of the handset - so I told em mines still perfectly OK thanks.

 

Twhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats.

 

Oh, and the gold rimmed glasses silver haired twat in this car tried to run me off the motorway last night.

[M'coli]

O2 say it refers to the life of the handset - so I told em mines still perfectly OK thanks.

Have you ever used the SIM in another handset? That may be the reason that they have been such twunts, the IMEI of the handset is recorded when you make a call from a particular handset with a certain SIM.

[gallondrunk]

.

[pogweasel]

A quick update on the can opener situation. Bought a Brabantia off eBay, works like a dream. I am absolutely ecstatic!!:dances:

[retrogeezer]

Cool!!

[Guest]

Hirst's Fun Post Office Story (Rated 18 BBFC)

 

Had to post something recorded today so I popped to the town post office, nowhere near as good as my usual place in proper civilisation. It's the main post office in a bottom-rung ex-mining town so you can imagine what it's like. I absolutely detest the place, full of really scummy no-hopers, dirty, smelly and above all laughably slow. Want to queue up to get some car tax? Go when it's busy and it'll take you the best part of an hour. Same if you just want a book of stamps. Or some out of date mints. Of course if you just want to go down there to withdraw some scratchcard money it doesn't really matter because you have nothing to do all day. This point frustrates me in particular - can't they make them go somewhere else? Or have a priority system for people who actually want to POST something? Move it doley, parcels to go! etc.

 

So I thought if I go in the afternoon it shouldn't be that bad, stuck the envelope under my arm, strolled through town and walked in confidently to see that the queue was the biggest I've ever seen, nearly out of the door and with about 2 out of the 6 counters manned. At that point I started trembling like the bit in Death Wish where he's found out his wife is dead and rather unwisely decided to loudly go "For f---s sake, hasn't anyone in this f---ing town got a f---ing job?!" and then ran off before anyone could react.

 

(adds "Town Post Office" to list of places where I am no longer able to go)

[Mr Lobster]

I occasionally give Mrs L a hand on her daily excursions to the main Post Office. I only do it occasionally as the place is utterly rammed with customers who are mouth breathing living brain donor scruffs and I find the whole affair to be very depressing.

[ayd]

My Brothernow no disrespect to the lad he's worked hard to get to where he is but lets just say hes not short of a bob or two...for this I dont resent him, I respect him.In a way he was the perfect big bruv and when he was 16 many years ago and I was just a wee lad of 9 he got his hands on 2 non running Hillman imps and we spent the best part of the summer before his 17th birthday making one out of the 2 with nothing more than a Haynes manual, he introduced me to gasket paper, used an old glass oven inner door to help check the block was flat, fabricated parts he couldn't afford to buy, took me to my first scrap yard and put up with my constant "what does this do" "what does that do" behaviour, taking the time to explain to me exactly what it was and what it did. Basically the whole reason I'm a tat lover that I am todayTimes change and life moves on and now he's got a BMW Estate kid wagon for the Wife, has a 944 S2 because he always wanted one, A Ducati 999 and opted out of the company car scheme turning down top exec cars and runs an Alfa 147 as his daily motorway mobile and pockets the rest of the cash they give him for not having a company car.He rings me last night and says " think I'm going to have to get shut of the Alfa, I think the N/S Wheel Bearing is on its way out"this was met with stunned silencefollowed by more stunned silenceand quickly followed up with more silencequickly followed with "how much do you want for it" but thats another storyIn just one sentence my life was shattered, the old slightly fading photo of me washing the finally fixed Hillman has been removed, never to see the light of day again and all memories of the rear screen that just wouldnt stay locked and the way it would jump out of 4th gear when you went over the old railway crossing outside Shell Carrington have been removed from my memory as the realisation that the more money you have, the more of a wanker you become......

[Guest]

Having just wasted a large chunk of my long weekend removing (without the ideal tools) the osf wheelbearing on my XR, and installing (with a vice instead of a press and numerous unlikely washers etc) a replacement, only to have it collapse after 800 yards cos neither my mate or I knew exactly what we were doing when torquing the hub nut up - ignoring the Haynes book of Lies at peril - I empathise entirely with your big bruv.

 

[trigger]

Nice skidmarks!

[FredTransit]

I hate facebook..Not that I really noticed, but tried to log on today (I had forgot I had even signed up, but wanted to join autpshite's group) and got this

Account disabledYour account has been disabled. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

So I followed the dumb link and saw this in the FAQ

Why was my account disabled?Your account was disabled because the name it was registered under was fake. We do not allow users to register with fake names, to impersonate any person or entity, or to falsely state or otherwise misrepresent themselves or their affiliations. In addition, Facebook accounts are intended for use by single individuals, so groups, clubs, businesses, or other types of organizations are not permitted to maintain accounts.

Er so what exactly is the autoshite group then? A very big individual? Fook em, I don't need facefuck or chavbook or whatever it's called.....

[dollywobbler]

I like Facebook. Helps me keep in touch with friends all over the world. And my family who all live miles away.The Autoshite group is allowed under Facebook's rules because it's a group run by an individual. You don't become friends with Autoshite, you join the group.

[500tops]

am i no longer your friend, Ian?

[FredTransit]

I like Facebook. Helps me keep in touch with friends all over the world. And my family who all live miles away.The Autoshite group is allowed under Facebook's rules because it's a group run by an individual. You don't become friends with Autoshite, you join the group.

Well apparently I registered under a fake name! WTF???

[dollywobbler]

Ah, is that who you are? Thought so! You do not appear to be my friend. Would you like to be my friend?Anyway, having posted something non ranty, I'd like to make up for it with:Summer. What a load of old crap! It gets too hot, or too wet. Insects keep pestering you and when they're not doing that, they're committing suicide against the front of your car and making a mess of it. Sure, there are plus sides - girls wear less, summer school holidays mean a blissful six weeks of low traffic levels - but really, it's an over-rated season that causes your skin to peel and night time to be far too bloomin' hot. However, this year, I have a secret weapon - air conditioning!

[pbottomley]

However, this year, I have a secret weapon - air conditioning!

Open a window you lazy ferk....

[Father Ted]

Air con, not brilliant for the house, \i bought a unit 2 years ago from Argos and its fucked now. It needs regasing and something else, and if you switch it on it takes the circuit breaker down three times out of every five that you switch it on. No one local wants to touch it, and the main company who made it are utterly fookin useless at replying to emails or phone calls.So thats £60 a year for 2 years for about 4 weeks of use - bugger that - each bedroom is now installed with B&Q's finest chrome & Beech effect ceiling fan and light - much better and quieter in combination with the open window.

[dollywobbler]

At the weekend, we did an experiment in the Alfa. First part of the journey, windows and sunroof open. Second half, aircon cranked up. Must admit, the second half was much better - Classic FM gently serenading our ears (well, even an Alfa V6 sounds a little unexciting at a steady cruise) and not a drop of sweat to be seen.Ted - ceiling fans. An excellent idea! Shame our light socket is miles away from our bed (for some reason, it's right next to the window!). Reminds me of stopping in a shonky hotel in Malta. The ceiling fan wobbled around all over the place and you couldn't sleep for fear it'd fall off and slice you!

[MrRegieRitmo]

If we're going to move onto dreary sitcoms (like NPLH), here's something only the Autoshite crew will be able to answer (as it isn't on IMCDB and I can't remember myself):"Bread" featured a character who owned a thoroughly square van with a rainbow painted on the side - what sort of van was it?

It was a Mk1 Transit...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weto0T8_txg

I thought it was 'Billy' who had the van & it was a Renault Trafic??

[Guest]

Every year I start saving up for an air conditioning unit only to end up spending the money on crisps or pies. I remain convinced that buying one will be the best decision I ever make.