The grumpy thread

[Richard]

People defying 'one way road' laws in supermarket/shopping complex car parks. Clowns (usually in a german TDi) coming head on towards you going the wrong way in the middle of the road, and then grimacing and fuming when you don't attempt to get out of their way!

There was an amusing episode in Morrisons car park in St Andrews where a Honda Stream going the wrong way collided with a taxi that was going too fast. The owner of the taxi turned up in another taxi and proceeded to have the same argument, centred on the one way system, with each occupant of the Honda in turn (and the Stream is a seven seater), culminating with the driver, who was hopping around on his one leg like the Black Knight in Monty Python.

[pogweasel]

.... answering the call of nature in a lay-by and then realising mid-flow that you are actually pissing on your shoe. Mmmm.

[Father Ted]

.... answering the call of nature in a lay-by and then realising mid-flow that you are actually pissing on your shoe. Mmmm.

I feel your pain.

[whitevanman]

Modern cars with wide tyres are SHIT in snow.

Incorrect.My 2 wheel drive Audi has fat low-pro tyres and tonight I took the back roads. the snow covered roads with the hairpins and steep drops.I sit corrected Sir.......... how bad is it up your way?

[Justin Case]

.... answering the call of nature in a lay-by and then realising mid-flow that you are actually pissing on your shoe. Mmmm.

PMSL (fortunately not on my shoe )

[dollywobbler]

I have to say, fat tyres have not been good in the snow in my experience. Pug 306 DT was a nightmare in the snow. Still overtook a very, very stuck AMG Merc that day though. Even fatter rubber and 478 completely useless horsepowers.

[Mike D]

Traction Control and and ABS suck in the ice, as do wide tyres, My old 950 fezza was better in the snow and ice than my Merc is! 135's are better than 235's!

[dollywobbler]

That said, people don't know how to drive in snow either. They crawl along and then wonder why they can't get up hills. No sudden movements and keep a little bit of speed up is the trick.

[RedSparrow]

Yesterday I worked 8am-3am doing an incompetent collegues job for them. I had to do loads of stuff that is in no way in my job description (no, not sex things before one of you wits chip in!) to avoid embarassment for the organisation and take a load of abuse from a clients PA. Worst thing is I am still worrying about it now. -Sorry that sounds a bit vague, can't really give any details.

[trigger]

Yesterday I had to walk into town for my works meal as there was a 3 hours wait for taxis I manged to slipped over on the pavement in front of my 6 work mates and a random man on a bike who laughed.I have a very sore thigh now, I don't recommend wearing smart smooth souled shoes in the ice.

[CortinaDave]

I have terrible tyres on the SD1 that i bought on the cheap and I'm convinced must be made of sausages or somesuch... it was sliding around like Torvill and Dean doing the Bolero yesterday.

[sporty-shite]

I agree with Mr B - I enjoy ignoring unenforceable rules, what are they going to do about it? The only reason I don't park in "Parent and Child" bays in the supermarket is that I don't want my car keyed, otherwise I would relish the opportunity.

People who park in parent and child spaces when they don't have kids really boil my piss. The reason being they are wider than normal, so you can get your nipper in the back without walloping the car beside you, and closer so you don't have to carry said child too far to get a trolley. To conclude, WALK A BIT FURTHER YOU LAZY FUCKER.

[Father Ted]

The number of people these days who seem to be rather cheese less in the cracker region.I blame shite televisual programming like heX factor and come Jiving n Ice. MoAr TV channels does not equate better programs. Bring back 3 channels and the Light service.

[FredTransit]

On the subject of parking, remember when it was warm? yeah, you know a week back in August. Well I go to Asda, or some other supermarket. I park in the outer reaches cos I am in a 22ft luton and can't be doing with searching out two spaces in a line near to the store. EVERY time I come back to find some fekker has parked inches from the van, inevitably in it's shade. FFS, find a tree or get over it!

[Father Ted]

^^^ W S Swhy is it in any car park you can park anywhere and people will always park next to you, even when the rest of the car park is totally empty? Why?I park miles away from people becausea) Im a fat knacker and like to be able to opwn my door wide... i dont like twats bumping my doors and dinting the doors...And yest people park next to me - why? What is it? safety in numbers?? What?

[Pillock]

Traction Control and and ABS suck in the ice, as do wide tyres, My old 950 fezza was better in the snow and ice than my Merc is! 135's are better than 235's!

Best car I had in the ice was my 90 Quattro. Yeah the 4WD helped, but it had an 'off' button for the ABS. By far the best way of stopping when you're driving on snow is to lock up and build up piles of snow in front of the wheels.Just remember to unlock before a complete stop, otherwise you'll never go forwards again

[Pillock]

People who set their house alarm off every single sodding time they go in the house. What, did they forget they had an alarm between leaving the house and getting home?Every time I see a green 206 drive past the house, I wait for the inevitable - five minutes of WEEWAHWEEWAHWEEWAH whilst dunderhead finally figures out what the noise is and punches the number in.If it's that hard to remember, don't use the sodding thing. Because nobody reacts to it anyway if it goes off three times a day, we just assume you popped home for a sandwich and set it off. And to be honest, if someone was exiting your house via a window with a LCD telly in their arms, I'd probably help them load the van cos you're more likely to move chuffing house then.

[Mr Lobster]

Christmas shopping today. Shops full of people fighting over overpriced, cheap shit that nobody will be particularly pleased to get. Nowhere to park, its bastard cold and I've got headache.Not good

[Mash]

Christmas for me is a double edged sword. On the one hand it means Jack Shit to me; I'm an atheist, I have no kids and not a very big immediate family. I feel obliged to do a certain amount of card and present sending but that's where I draw the line.

 

On the other hand it's nice to have a couple of weeks to relax after what's been a manic year, but because of the weather those two weeks are at a completely inconvenient time of the year for what I want to do with my holidays. We shut down yesterday and go back on the 4th Jan, not that I want to (or am allowed to) go and sit on my own in the office over Christmas but I really would much rather have a nice long summer break instead.

 

[whitevanman]

I agree with Mr B - I enjoy ignoring unenforceable rules, what are they going to do about it? The only reason I don't park in "Parent and Child" bays in the supermarket is that I don't want my car keyed, otherwise I would relish the opportunity.

People who park in parent and child spaces when they don't have kids really boil my piss. The reason being they are wider than normal, so you can get your nipper in the back without walloping the car beside you, and closer so you don't have to carry said child too far to get a trolley. To conclude, WALK A BIT FURTHER YOU LAZY FUCKER.

Hmm..... lets think about 2 door cars from the 70's edtc....oh yes we need a wider space to get in and out....supermarkets etc provide trolleys with baby seats....get some exercise walk a bit further you lazy fucker seems to me it works both ways.....and no I dont park in spaces I am not supposed to, I park as far away from the idiots with cars that don't care if they open there doors onto mine

[whitevanman]

On the subject of parking, remember when it was warm? yeah, you know a week back in August. Well I go to Asda, or some other supermarket. I park in the outer reaches cos I am in a 22ft luton and can't be doing with searching out two spaces in a line near to the store. EVERY time I come back to find some fekker has parked inches from the van, inevitably in it's shade. FFS, find a tree or get over it!

fucking annoying init............

[whitevanman]

^^^ W S Swhy is it in any car park you can park anywhere and people will always park next to you, even when the rest of the car park is totally empty? Why?I park miles away from people becausea) Im a fat knacker and like to be able to opwn my door wide... i dont like twats bumping my doors and dinting the doors...And yest people park next to me - why? What is it? safety in numbers?? What?

yup feeling the pain with you on this one as well

[seth]

I wouldn't mind Parent and Child spaces being on the far side of the car park but it is bloody handy to have some extra width, particularly when your child is strapped in the back of a two door 60'/70's machine!

[Rusty Pelican]

^^^ W S Swhy is it in any car park you can park anywhere and people will always park next to you, even when the rest of the car park is totally empty? Why?I park miles away from people becausea) Im a fat knacker and like to be able to opwn my door wide... i dont like twats bumping my doors and dinting the doors...And yest people park next to me - why? What is it? safety in numbers?? What?

yup feeling the pain with you on this one as well

Me too , whenever im in an Imp i usually come back to some fuck off huge 4X4 parked next to me ,Maybe to make me feel small and insignificant , do i feel inferior , hell no , just pissed off they do it

[pogweasel]

Mummy wagon spaces are "the win" for pulling up in coupe's with long doors. ;)Though there is some kind of strange "mummy mafia" who police the parent & child bays. I'll never forget the tirade of four-letter potty-mouthed abuse I got when parking in said space in my LWB land rover pick-up. I believe the terms used were "What f*cking right do you have to to park that heap of shit there???", at which point I removed daughter-of-mine from the cab in baby seat (v.small at the time), to rapturous silence and glorious embarassment to the witch who'd bollocked me.

[Guest]

I agree with Mr B - I enjoy ignoring unenforceable rules, what are they going to do about it? The only reason I don't park in "Parent and Child" bays in the supermarket is that I don't want my car keyed, otherwise I would relish the opportunity.

People who park in parent and child spaces when they don't have kids really boil my piss. The reason being they are wider than normal, so you can get your nipper in the back without walloping the car beside you, and closer so you don't have to carry said child too far to get a trolley. To conclude, WALK A BIT FURTHER YOU LAZY FUCKER.

Kids shouldn't be allowed in the supermarket, they're useless. Are they buying anything? They should be left at home in the coal shed - out of sight, out of mind.If they must provide "parent and child" spaces, make it so the kids have to stay in the sodding car.

[Polystratus]

^^^ W S Swhy is it in any car park you can park anywhere and people will always park next to you, even when the rest of the car park is totally empty? Why?I park miles away from people becausea) Im a fat knacker and like to be able to opwn my door wide... i dont like twats bumping my doors and dinting the doors...And yest people park next to me - why? What is it? safety in numbers?? What?

Always happens to me and its always a 4x4 or something similar sized, guess it makes them feel safe to have another car next to them??

[seth]

Mummy wagon spaces are "the win" for pulling up in coupe's with long doors. ;)Though there is some kind of strange "mummy mafia" who police the parent & child bays. I'll never forget the tirade of four-letter potty-mouthed abuse I got when parking in said space in my LWB land rover pick-up. I believe the terms used were "What f*cking right do you have to to park that heap of shit there???", at which point I removed daughter-of-mine from the cab in baby seat (v.small at the time), to rapturous silence and glorious embarassment to the witch who'd bollocked me.

[sporty-shite]

I agree with Mr B - I enjoy ignoring unenforceable rules, what are they going to do about it? The only reason I don't park in "Parent and Child" bays in the supermarket is that I don't want my car keyed, otherwise I would relish the opportunity.

People who park in parent and child spaces when they don't have kids really boil my piss. The reason being they are wider than normal, so you can get your nipper in the back without walloping the car beside you, and closer so you don't have to carry said child too far to get a trolley. To conclude, WALK A BIT FURTHER YOU LAZY FUCKER.

Hmm..... lets think about 2 door cars from the 70's edtc....oh yes we need a wider space to get in and out....supermarkets etc provide trolleys with baby seats....get some exercise walk a bit further you lazy fucker seems to me it works both ways.....and no I dont park in spaces I am not supposed to, I park as far away from the idiots with cars that don't care if they open there doors onto mine

Yup, I'd park as far away, as well, but, as you agreed with, they always come and park right next to you, like a huddle of insecure motorised fuckwits, which means I'm still struggling not to wallop the sides of their cars. Fact is, M&C spaces are there for a reason, and that reason is not so the lazy fucker in the Audi doesn't have to walk too far to the cash machine.Oh, Hirst, I totally agree, there is no place for children in supermarkets, on the whole*, but sometimes, needs must.*This is the subject of another rant, which may be unleashed sometime in the future

[pogweasel]

"Richmond" cigarettes. I had the misfortune to find myself at the shop with only a £5 note and no plastic, and was thus forced to resort to these hideous council-scumbag fags. Never again.