XJ-S V12

[NigeT]

Thought I'd introduce you all to my grumpy green cat, given the amount of automotive masochism on this forum  I'm sure it won't be out of place, might even find someone mad enough to take it off my hands. I bought it 3 years ago, since when it's spent most of its life on my olds drive & generally served as a garden ornament & not much more apart from occasional local trips. It would likely instantly dissolve if parked on an Edinburgh street, so it lives in Surrey where I'm currently visiting on essential business. One of my 3 previous XJ-S's was bought in Glasgow & taught me the true meaning of rot - if anyone's interested in an XJ-S rust horror thread I'm happy to start one.  The current green cat was originally metallic silver, but looked way too modern for me so I repainted it (badly) in Rover HAA Racing Green - toxic old-school paint, don't think I want to spray that stuff ever again. After weeks of flatting, sanding and polishing it looked marginally better than before though far from perfect, which it's never going to be.  Just before lockdown I did a few pending jobs like oil and filter service (filter access isn't as bad as you'd expect), it takes quite a bit to fill. Also spotted a wee leak from the cam cover gasket - I don't think I can be bothered to replace them, so a dab of sealant has been my practical shiter solution - there was no dribbling onto driveway so that means it's still a better XJ-S than most. 

Other thing was front brakes, the NS disc was getting very hot (confirmed with heat gun) so it was caliper repair time. The front 4-pot calipers are held on by two rear bolts & were very stubborn - took 2 hours with an array of improvised extensions to remove.  Rest of the day spent coaxing out 3 stuck pots, wire brushing off pitting & replacing seals & reassembling. Car then became a death-trap as brakes became largely non-functional. Finally yesterday I got round to bleeding them - luckily after cleaning the screws with a wire-wheel and spraying copious amounts of WD, the bleed screws opened. Inordinate amount of air came out of both sides & it took ages. This is a 2-man job, assistant pushes pedal down (with ignition on for the accumulator to pressurise system), open screw whilst air and nasty old fluid spews onto the ground, close screw, assistant raises pedal, then repeat the process swapping sides once in a while until you're losing the will to leave. I'm lucky this did the trick as bleeding the rear brakes is particularly hideous (bleed screws for the inboard brakes are hidden above the exhaust & most likely seized solid). Wire brushed the inner arches whilst I was at it. Was delighted to find no grot & rewarded the cat with a lovely coat of Hammerite underseal & gave the calipers a splash of paint too.

Next job involved the dash cluster - anyone who's owned an XJ-S will probably have had dash cluster nightmares on a regular basis - it comprises lots of bulbs, generally unreliable and fragile instruments, and a printed copper circuit board that delaminates & corrodes with age - the screws holding in some of the gauges are part of the circuit as well, and all worth replacing. No aftermarket replacements are available for the circuit board, and used ones are likely to throw up more problems than the one they're replacing (on mine I've even rewired bits of it). The connectors in the rear are fragile - taking the cluster out generally creates more problems. The oil pressure gauge had been shooting up straight to maximum since a couple of years ago despite pressure being fine -  replacing the sender didn't work so I decided on a creative solution - by trial and error I mixed and matched in-line resistors and the gauge now reads just about right. I did the same a few months ago with the coolant temperature gauge that is finally accurate, calibrated with the help of my temperature-gun, one of the best purchases I've ever made. Overheating is the main cause of death of these V12's (dropped valve seats) & it's good to check & flush the whole cooling system regularly, if properly maintained overheating won't be an issue on the V12 which is a reliable lump if not neglected.  Other job was the left indicator dash bulb which had stopped working. Bulb was fine and current was travelling down the printed circuit, so I traced problem to the bulb holder - swapped with another holder from the cluster (a warning lamp with a caravan image which I'm certain never to need) and bingo, working once more. Now the speedo has completely given up the ghost (the odometer gave up 3 years ago & I've taken apart the speedo about 10 times) and also the trip computer which previously worked. Think I'll hunt out the speedo transducer located on the diff & give that a clean. If that doesn't work I should really say f#ck it & leave it as is, satnav will suffice. Though being an idiot I'll probably do the opposite. Passengers electric window also now not working, will hopefully sort that sometime this week.

Recently got an COVMOT extention, after having to replace the front subframe bush & high-pressure power steering hose last year I'm very glad for that! The bush was the true stuff of nightmares. 

[Asimo]

Marvellous!  Peak Jaguar. Anything else is less. Etc.

 

[NigeT]

Afternoon's labours were interrupted by excessive heat, heat gun showing 68C on the roof and 81C on drivers seat, think maybe I can sell it as a portable sauna. With cooler temperatures I ventured underneath the beast to check on the transducer - after cleaning it up with brake cleaner (but not removing it) it looked reasonably new & the connecting cable running into the electronic unit in the boot looked fine. Interestingly I took out the trip computer fuse but the computer was still getting current (digital display & journey time working but none of the mpg stuff), interesting Jaguar quirk. Then I found some more fruitful jobs to do - the bonnet cat has been painted black, bumper chrome polished, and the rear side window frames & plastic panels got a lick of paint too, were annoying me with their general grottiness. 

[Zelandeth]

I have been very glad over the last couple of days that mine doesn't have black leather!  Has made me wish I'd made a start on sorting the air con sooner though...

Is this three or four XJ-Ss we've got on here now?

[somewhatfoolish]

Is the erratic gauge behaviour not indicative of voltage reg failure? Impressive testicular fortitude.

[NigeT]

13 minutes ago, somewhatfoolish said:

Is the erratic gauge behaviour not indicative of voltage reg failure? Impressive testicular fortitude.

Interesting idea though I imagine that if it was, all the gauges would be erratic - as it is, the fuel gauge, voltage, and rev counter have always behaved well, and likewise most of the warning lights and I've had no fading lights or erratic running which such an issue might cause. Alternator has been churning out a consistent output (from far too much of my life of multimeter testing) since I replaced the Load Dump Module  (a regulator of sorts) 3 years ago. The previous owner had lost the plot trying to diagnose this non-charge issue which a new used module nicely solved. 

[NigeT]

15 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

I have been very glad over the last couple of days that mine doesn't have black leather!  Has made me wish I'd made a start on sorting the air con sooner though...

Is this three or four XJ-Ss we've got on here now?

Blue in this case, just the light that makes it look blackish. Which reminds me, I've got some of scratch doctor's finest blue leather dye that needs to be used up. Maybe a job for tomorrow. 

[Bren]

I want to hear about your rotten xjs please.

[NigeT]

2 hours ago, Bren said:

I want to hear about your rotten xjs please.

This 3.6 of doom had several days of welding (by a seasoned welder) before the first fail. Eventually sold it to a guy in the Czech Republic, poor sod. 

01/12/2016 15:36	Fail	Mileage: 98,695 miles + 7 miles travelled since last MOT. Refusal Notices Anti-lock braking system warning lamp indicates an abs fault (3.4.1c) Nearside headlamp not working on dipped beam (1.7.5a) Brake performance not tested (3.7.a.1)
01/09/2016 09:08	Fail	Mileage: 98,688 miles + 16 miles travelled since last MOT. Refusal Notices Service brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7) Parking brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7) Nearside rear parking brake recording little or no effort (3.7.b.6a) Nearside rear brake recording little or no effort (3.7.b.5a) Offside rear brake recording little or no effort (3.7.b.5a) Parking brake lever has no reserve travel (3.1.6b) Brake operation has insufficient assistance for at least two more brake applications after the warning device has operated (3.3.d.3b) Front subframe mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.a.3) Nearside front suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.a.3) Offside front suspension component mounting prescribed area is inadequately repaired (2.4.a.3) Advisory Notices Rear tyres cracking Offside headlamp beam image clarity poor Poor welding repairs carried out, nearside front and offside rear.
04/07/2016 10:01	Fail	Mileage: 98,672 miles + 982 miles travelled since last MOT. Refusal Notices Parking brake: efficiency below requirements (3.7.b.7) Nearside rear parking brake recording little or no effort (3.7.b.6a) Exhaust emissions hydrocarbon content excessive (7.3.b.1b) Main beam 'tell-tale' not working (1.7.4c) Offside headlamp aim beam image obviously incorrect (1.8.a.1b) Nearside headlamp aim too high (1.8) Front subframe mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.a.3) Nearside front suspension component mounting prescribed area is excessively corroded (2.4.a.3) Offside front suspension component mounting prescribed area is inadequately repaired (2.4.a.3) Advisory Notices Engine running very roughly Offside rear suspension prescribed area repaired to a poor standard

[NigeT]

12 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

I have been very glad over the last couple of days that mine doesn't have black leather!  Has made me wish I'd made a start on sorting the air con sooner though...

Is this three or four XJ-Ss we've got on here now?

Nice XJ-S you have btw, don't think I've seen a black one before. I would love to see a thread on your sorting the air con, such heights of ambition are massively admired. I've never come across an XJ-S with anything near working aircon. p.s. isn't getting the compressor re-fitted the most goddamn awful job. 

[NigeT]

Thought it was about time the forum got some more  masochistic XJ-S action. Since my last post almost a year ago  it's sat on a drive looking increasingly forlorn with the bodywork and paintwork taking the main brunt and I'm 100% resolved to shift to a more loving home before the end of summer. A couple of weeks ago I got round to  giving it some attention whilst on essential business in Surrey. After a wet winter water had got into the car into the drivers footwell and caused some mould on the leather and headlining - now all dried up and removed, and the leather got some soothing blue reconditioning balm so the interior's respectable again. As always was expecting MOT to fail on something awkward - this time it got fails for rust in rear suspension mounting area, front caliper wire,  a bulb, and rear brakes binding, so I think I got off very lightly as XJ-S's go.  Found some wire in the shed which sufficed for the caliper and took no time at all, everything brake and suspension-wise was looking in pretty good  nick up front. Bulb was a loose connection.  Rust fail was a bastard - access to grind off the rot was tricky without a ramp and welding it was a bit of a backbreaker. After badly slathering on enough weld (with my cheap ebay gasless MIG) to constitute a continuous seam at least in my mind , it was time to cover my miserable efforts with sealer, primer and black paint.  Freeing up the rear onboard brakes was a bastard job. Sliding pins and pads were removed  (with access so tight they took ages to get out - onboard brakes are the devil's work). Pistons looked in okay shape but got some red grease anyway. Pads were fine & pins got a wire-brush and some copper slip. There was still binding until the handbrake mechanism  was freed and lubed up after which MOT failure was solved. I suspect advisory for steering was due to lack of use - didn't think there were any issues on the way to station and the seatbelt webbing and slight oil leak advisories aren't bothering me. No dripping onto the drive counts as dry in my XJ-S book.  I did ldeal with the headlights though, one had about a pint of water inside. Engine is running nicely and sailed through emissions. I'm now the proud owner of a 12 month ticket and wondering what can replace the Big Cat once it's gone. Also curious what rough round the edges but driveable XJ-S's are going for these days - any ideas appreciated! Happy to give a shiters price if it'll be kept in the community.

[Zelandeth]

Not still quite staggered that mine went straight through the MOT a few months back.

I really, really, really need to start tackling the to do list on mine. 

Do wonder if one day we'll manage to get a photo of all three of the XJ-Ss we've got on here together.  That would be quite something.  Think we have three don't we?

[CreepingJesus]

You didn't buy 'the Glasgow one' off a weird ginger bloke near Hampden stadium, did you? If not, my mate might still have his, which was much admired the time he brought it to a Scotoshite nosh-up at Cumbernauld some years back. Mismatched everything, required to be started with a screwdriver, a complete and utter shed, and probably about as fucked all round as could be (nominally) road legal. He had a couple of XJ's on the go at the time too! 

I'd love one myself, but I'm quite content to watch others battle away at the damn things. 

[NigeT]

5 minutes ago, CreepingJesus said:

You didn't buy 'the Glasgow one' off a weird ginger bloke near Hampden stadium, did you? If not, my mate might still have his, which was much admired the time he brought it to a Scotoshite nosh-up at Cumbernauld some years back. Mismatched everything, required to be started with a screwdriver, a complete and utter shed, and probably about as fucked all round as could be (nominally) road legal. He had a couple of XJ's on the go at the time too! 

I'd love one myself, but I'm quite content to watch others battle away at the damn things. 

I did buy an XJ-S  (Blue 3.6 in Land Rover Cairns Blue) in Glasgow a few years back but definitely not this bloke. Seller was a chain-smoking retired cabbie about to very sensibly escape Glasgow for Greece. Ended up selling it to a guy in the Czech Republic and off it went. Underside needed welding pretty well in its entirety, wish I still had pictures. 

[DaveDorson]

I've a desire to own one of these but just know it'd utterly ruin me and lead to mental health meltdown as a result.

[NigeT]

6 minutes ago, DaveDorson said:

I've a desire to own one of these but just know it'd utterly ruin me and lead to mental health meltdown as a result.

Out of all the XJ-S's I've owned, this is the only one I'd  ever want back. Now lives a pampered life in Norway.  

[Minimad5]

These are lovely old beasts, do wish I had the balls (and funds) to buy one

[sierraman]

I think the constant breakdowns would eventually break me. A mate of my dads had one, don’t think he paid a great deal for it, it looked great right up until the back end went completely, the brakes were shot and the rear suspension collapsed. It ended up sitting in his garden for about 10 years by which point it was completely shot. 

[NigeT]

2 hours ago, sierraman said:

I think the constant breakdowns would eventually break me. A mate of my dads had one, don’t think he paid a great deal for it, it looked great right up until the back end went completely, the brakes were shot and the rear suspension collapsed. It ended up sitting in his garden for about 10 years by which point it was completely shot. 

Tbh I reckon that if dry stored, regularly used, and properly maintained they're not much more likely to break down than most similar chod of the era - as long as cooling system is in good order it's unlikely the engine will give up the ghost, the 6 and 12 cylinder lumps are fairly robust. and no cambelts to worry about. The Teves ABS systems (and brakes in general) are a pain & auxiliary electrics aren't the best but failures to proceed aren't as common as many would expect, rot must be the biggest killer. As for cheap XJ-S sheds like you describe, fair point I suppose! I would love to see @dollywobblertake a rough one on and win some great battles. 

[sierraman]

A good one will be great, a bad one will be the financial ruin. Still definitely would though especially a Lynx Eventer. 

[CreepingJesus]

There used to be quite a variety of kit cars back in the day, that relied almost entirely on the mechanicals from rotten XJ and XJ-S's, which I imagine would've accounted for a fair few being stripped out. Same for the early days of 'modernised' E-types and XK's. 

 

[Skizzer]

On 6/1/2021 at 12:01 PM, NigeT said:

Happy to give a shiters price if it'll be kept in the community.

@320touring and @jaypee have an itch that needs scratching (or rather scratched if you’re Scottish) for a V12 XJ-S, I believe.

Which is to say whenever mine breaks I threaten to sell it to them for a pound, and sometimes Neil pauses for a moment before running away. So I think he’s ready.

Pic of mine:

There’s video on YT but it’s not HubNut.

[Low Horatio gearbox]

Corr with the starfish alloys.. mmm

XJ-S's are lovely but the inboard rear brakes, general rustiness and will they wont they electrics and abs and that V12,  god the pipework on it! (Counter that with.. it's a V12 for effectively buttons )  Tho it's no different in those general faults from the Etype  really and if we are honest a nicer, easier and more refined drive.  I'm surprised they have stayed  relatively affordable. 

[rob88h]

Lots of people run scared from cars like this in case things go wrong - but all sorts of different cars go all sorts of wrong in many different ways. I say just accept and get on with it, it’s better to have loved and lost and all that... Having said that I may have quite a high threshold for car related pain.

The one I had came with zero history and had been laid up for 10 years. All things considered it treated me well. If it can happen to me it can happen to you 😉

 

I sold it last summer in the end though. Bucket list stuff this V12 Jag, but despite all the above bravado, time-exposed-to-danger played on my mind and I was always expecting it to let me down in a big way - though it never really did. I just couldn’t bond with it because of that feeling. That and someone offered me good money for it.

[jaypee]

1 hour ago, Skizzer said:

@320touring and @jaypee have an itch that needs scratching (or rather scratched if you’re Scottish) for a V12 XJ-S, I believe.

Which is to say whenever mine breaks I threaten to sell it to them for a pound, and sometimes Neil pauses for a moment before running away. So I think he’s ready.

Pic of mine:

There’s video on YT but it’s not HubNut.

I need a moment alone.