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eBay tat volume 3.

Ross_K

By Ross_K
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Ford Prefect Rank Morris Ital

Ford Prefect

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, xtriple said:

You ask and shall be given...

 

 

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That looks good! Bet not many ended up like that. The single parallel arm wiper is a nice touch.

Mr Laurence Rank: BL Wedge

Mr Laurence

Posted
Posted

 

Has anyone here ever heard of the dealer ‘a-buyers-gallery-of-supercheapies’? Because if you haven’t, then you’re in for a treat. Every single one of their (unpunctuated) ads reads like the ramblings of a lunatic. Below are a few highlights, all quoted verbatim:

 

 

Quote

Im going against all my RULES here to suggest a young lass buys it as I don’t sell to anyone who is under 35 or has no balls

 

Quote

NO Cretins

 

On the ad for an automatic Chrysler crossfire:

Quote

That Growling Sound from the Engine has to be one of the most satisfying Sexual Noises since lovemaking was invented in the 60's*Strictly 2 seater with room for their weekend sex Toys and Lingerie heading for a MUCKY weekend

 

On the same ad (remember, an automatic crossfire):

Quote

with the assuring quality that it will become a CLASSIC within NO time

 

 

All three of the following are for the same car:

Quote

MASTERPIECE LUXURY CRUISER

 

Quote

Pure Redneck

 

Quote

your Mother will think you've won the lottery

 

Any guesses?

 

Nope.

 

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This was on a different, ad, but probably far more apt for the Sebring:

Quote

disappointment will naturally prey on your mind the rest of your life and make you the most miserable human being in the world

 

Quote

PRECIOUSLY RE BUILT AFTER SUFFERING SOME PAST MINOR INJURIES WHILE BEING DRIVEN AT LESS THAN 15 MPH BY OLD LADY (I THINK) CAT S which only means that Mrs Old Lady was probably (maybe) in a supermarket car park after buying her cat Tiddles his cat fodder and was STARTLED BY THE LACK OF WHISKA'S ON THE SHELVES AS THE PANDEMIC HAD WIPED THE NORMALLY BUSTLING AISLES OF TIDDLES FAVOURITE LIP SMACKING GOODNESS, SHE PANICKED (PROBABLY) AND ENDED UP BASHING INTO SUPERMARKET TROLLEYS IN DESPERATION TO FIND URGENT CAT FOOD AS SHE WAS DOWN TO HER LAST 1000th TIN, she muttered to the paramedic who was first on the scene that she hadn't seen supermarket SHORTAGES like that even in WW2 which is hardly surprising because there wasn't any supermarkets then, Mrs Old Lady survived the crash but sadly Tiddles didn't as he couldn't use the tin opener to feed himself while Mrs Old Lady was in a coma.. too bad hey?

 

Every ad is like this. There’s a Picasso with a description that’s just tangent about bin men and all the people who work for him. The car basically isn’t mentioned.

Dick Cheeseburger Rank: Talbot Tagora

Dick Cheeseburger

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, juular said:

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how-to-translate-text-with-siri-main_thu

happy-man-using-mobile-phone-while-lying

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66415641-very-happy-smiling-young-adult-

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6 CD milky changer. 

That's the best car sales line I've heard all week. 

  • spartacus and face
  • Like 2
Cavcraft Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

Cavcraft

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Mr Laurence said:

 

Has anyone here ever heard of the dealer ‘a-buyers-gallery-of-supercheapies’? Because if you haven’t, then you’re in for a treat. Every single one of their (unpunctuated) ads reads like the ramblings of a lunatic. Below are a few highlights, all quoted verbatim:

 

 

 

 

On the ad for an automatic Chrysler crossfire:

 

On the same ad (remember, an automatic crossfire):

 

 

All three of the following are for the same car:

 

 

 

Any guesses?

 

Nope.

 

 

 

This was on a different, ad, but probably far more apt for the Sebring:

 

 

Every ad is like this. There’s a Picasso with a description that’s just tangent about bin men and all the people who work for him. The car basically isn’t mentioned.

Wasn't there another Rayman Boy's Antique/ Chelsea Dolls House nut job on eBay a few years ago? Maybe he's come back to life with all his absolute bollocks.

xtriple Rank: Renault 16

xtriple

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Ford Prefect said:

That looks good! Bet not many ended up like that. The single parallel arm wiper is a nice touch.

It did actually look really good to say that I made the front end all on my little fat lonesome out of fibreglass and filler though the splitter had a base of plywood (how ashamed am I?) and made the rear spoiler out of a Richard Grant thing for a mk4 Escort and lots of cutting (to widen it) and various bits of allsorts to get it to sit like that. It was done on a budget to be honest as I paid too much for the base heap (and it was!) and had to buy/build a new engine and do all the floors, suspension and the body.  Painted it outside and the rear flairs were off an Alfa 75 Veloce thing, the sideskirts came from a shower surround and the front was whatever I could get my hands on!

Got it all legal and promptly blew the engine from arseoles to breakfast time wich was a bit of a gutter as it was tuned 914 motor with twin twinchokes and a hot cam and lots of good bits inside. Sadly the engine I bought to base it on (only used the crank and rods, heads and crankcases) had a slightly bent rod which I didn't spot/check on before I built it.

 

Never mind, sold the engine in bits for more than it cost me and bought a type 4 2 litre piece of shit for £100 and sold the car. When all was said and done, it still drove like a Beetle and I hated it!

barrett Rank: Lancia Gamma

barrett

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

....and the Toyopet Crown was an interpretation of ......?

Lark_VI.JPG

I'd be surprised, given the Crown was launched four years before the Lark. It's like when people say the Datsun Fairlady is a rip-off of the MGB, despite the MGB being launched a year after the Fairlady. Japanese designers definitely copied from Western designs, quite blatantly at times, but by the 1950s they were mostly treading their own path, and more just following the general styling zeitgeist as much as anyone else was

17-Coffees Rank: Citroen Ami

17-Coffees

Posted
Posted

As I've stated before its ever so tempting to give life up this side of the world and start up all over in the Pacific North West in the USA. So top of the list for me is a big Saloon with a V8 and rather old school. 

In other words, a Crown Vic! So If I was fresh off the plane and after a car I'd be in such luck, as there are 3 that are local to where i'd be staying (local, as in less than 100 miles, this is rural Oregon!) and less than my budget would be! ($5000) 

First up is a late model public spec one(Public sales ended in 2008, but they sold 3,000 non-fleet cars in 06!), this has good mileage, cream leather seats, actual alloys and chrome trim/grill! 

spacer.png

Only 'issue' I have with it is its while really, but for $3000 i'd be happy. Fact its not ex-fleet is a plus as much less chance of bodily fluids having been in the back seats... 

Second is this, a 2002 model with 117k miles, in a nice light blue but has naff alloys and condition looks worse (few dents and big crack in NSF bumper), but again its not a ex-fleet one.

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At $2,995, its cheaper than the above for sure but the wheels, bumper and the dents make me think spending a grand more is a better option.

Final one is a 2010, ex police car! No idea of miles but that's not really an issue with these. I've a feeling that this ex-CID? Going by the fact the rear of it does't have a central partition and there's no massive holes in the dash or bodywork. The fact the front has cloth seats and the rear is leather also has me scratching my head.(Wipe down leather?)
00e0e_12UTpBtFWrT_0CI0t2_1200x900.jpg

At $3,995 and even the same dealer as above. Another bad thing with this one would be everyone thinking its an unmarked police cruiser...

 

Overall, the first one would be my pick of the bunch of these Crown Vic's! 

  • Disco Fever, somewhatfoolish, Burnside and 4 others
  • Like 7
New POD Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

New POD

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, 17-Coffees said:

Im sure most of us like the Vauxhall Omega right? A nice 3.0 Elite as well.

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But are they worth £15,000? 

Granted it looks in showroom condition, but that's serious money! 

https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1255247

It's a £1500 car, max £3k in a dealer with a Warranty. 

eddyramrod Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

eddyramrod

Posted
Posted
On 8/12/2020 at 1:23 AM, egg said:

https://www.exchangeandmart.co.uk/ad/25448920

1.1, beige, yay.

o_1eb6b0q6ckm61l9318pu6qn4gia_w1024h683_

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What????  Fuck, no way, these were awful when new!  And yes, I do know, I drove them as a learner and it thoroughly put me off them.

On 8/12/2020 at 2:27 AM, 17-Coffees said:

As I've stated before its ever so tempting to give life up this side of the world and start up all over in the Pacific North West in the USA. So top of the list for me is a big Saloon with a V8 and rather old school. 

In other words, a Crown Vic! So If I was fresh off the plane and after a car I'd be in such luck, as there are 3 that are local to where i'd be staying (local, as in less than 100 miles, this is rural Oregon!) and less than my budget would be! ($5000) 

First up is a late model public spec one(Public sales ended in 2008, but they sold 3,000 non-fleet cars in 06!), this has good mileage, cream leather seats, actual alloys and chrome trim/grill! 

spacer.png

Only 'issue' I have with it is its while really, but for $3000 i'd be happy. Fact its not ex-fleet is a plus as much less chance of bodily fluids having been in the back seats... 

Second is this, a 2002 model with 117k miles, in a nice light blue but has naff alloys and condition looks worse (few dents and big crack in NSF bumper), but again its not a ex-fleet one.

spacer.png

At $2,995, its cheaper than the above for sure but the wheels, bumper and the dents make me think spending a grand more is a better option.

Final one is a 2010, ex police car! No idea of miles but that's not really an issue with these. I've a feeling that this ex-CID? Going by the fact the rear of it does't have a central partition and there's no massive holes in the dash or bodywork. The fact the front has cloth seats and the rear is leather also has me scratching my head.(Wipe down leather?)
00e0e_12UTpBtFWrT_0CI0t2_1200x900.jpg

At $3,995 and even the same dealer as above. Another bad thing with this one would be everyone thinking its an unmarked police cruiser...

 

Overall, the first one would be my pick of the bunch of these Crown Vic's! 

My choice of a daily would be the copcar, but we're all different!

  • barefoot and sheffcortinacentre
  • Like 2
Austat Rank: Lancia Gamma

Austat

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Cavcraft said:

The fuck are those back lights off, an early-ish Passat?

Pre-facelift Granada MK2.

Ford_Granada_Limousine_4T_Heck.thumb.jpeg.73c63e443122af88d21a2b3b6c1ce838.jpeg

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  • Remspoor, Cavcraft and Burnside
  • Like 3
Austat Rank: Lancia Gamma

Austat

Posted
Posted

Beige Fiesta Popular Plus, with serck plates! £1495:

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https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Fiesta-MK1-950/392905282493?_trkparms=aid%3D1110006%26algo%3DHOMESPLICE.SIM%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D225076%26meid%3D46425179734042dc86e418798c1265d0%26pid%3D100010%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D12%26sd%3D184396711689%26itm%3D392905282493%26pmt%3D0%26noa%3D1%26pg%3D2047675%26algv%3DDefaultOrganic&_trksid=p2047675.c100010.m2109

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