Shitting in the shallow end. *Arse friends Electric*

[New POD]

7 minutes ago, New POD said:

https://news.lettersofnote.com/p/arkell-v-pressdram

May I refer you to Pressdrams response to Arkell and wish you the same. 

Cheap fucking joke is what your Venn diagram is. 

 

 

Having owned 4 (yes 4) mk2 cavaliers, 1 mk3 cavalier, 3 (all which I wrote off) Mk3 Astras, I have a weird thing for the mk4 astra. 

Son learnt to drive in a mk3 cavalier, and later was given a mk4 astra (a 1.6 16V club) when his grandad gave up driving. I then bought a 1.6 16V Sport.  Son described his as more like a mk4 cavalier and I couldn't argue with him. 

The only problem I had with mine was a sport and was too hard with its 16 inch wheels and rock hard suspension. (and not gifffer enough. After 2 hours behind the wheel, I couldn't walk.) 

[Jim Bell]

Well the Astra has been providing sterling service as a 10 mile commuter to and from work every day. Nothing of note, so I've made no notes. 

That was until today when I had to tour county Durham and Teeside to a range of pre arranged appointments. Ooo great, some nice quick country roads. 

Hang on. 

What's that smell?

 

 

Yep. After being cleaned up and lubed twice, that passenger side caliper is dragging again. 

It's a theme. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Used the last of the COOP water that I still had in the boot from the initial BRAKE down too cool the whole shebang. 

Then popped into Sainsburys (oooo la da fuckin daa) to buy more. 

 

Stay hydrated lads. 

 

Eeee remember the brakes seizing at the co-op. Seems like just yesterday. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Limped it home 40 miles stopping at Washington services to let it cool again. Eventually home and back on the naughty step. 

 

I'm fucking sick of it now mind.

ALL VAUXHALLS ARE SHIT. 

why was I not informed of this earlier?

Tossing up in my mind scrapping the cunt or spending money on new calipers/discs/pads. The latter makes more sense but I'm sure that as soon as I've finished putting my hand in my pocket again, the gable end of a building will fall on it. 

 

[ruffgeezer]

If you want, drop me a pm and I can order your parts on my helfords trade card, might make it a bit more palatable?  The least I can do after all the entertainment you've provided down the years.

[JMotor]

8 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

Well the Astra has been providing sterling service as a 10 mile commuter to and from work every day. Nothing of note, so I've made no notes. 

That was until today when I had to tour county Durham and Teeside to a range of pre arranged appointments. Ooo great, some nice quick country roads. 

Hang on. 

What's that smell?

 

 

Yep. After being cleaned up and lubed twice, that passenger side caliper is dragging again. 

It's a theme. 

 

Check yer flexi brake pipe.

Had a similar issue with a MK4 Astra I owned a while back. All good in the hood wie the caliper and sliders, but it still stuck on. 

Me finds flexi was borked, let's fluid through to stop the car. But it couldn't return back. 

[Jim Bell]

1 minute ago, JMotor said:

Check yer flexi brake pipe.

Had a similar issue with a MK4 Astra I owned a while back. All good in the hood wie the caliper and sliders, but it still stuck on. 

Me finds flexi was borked, let's fluid through to stop the car. But it couldn't return back. 

Cheers man. Good shout.

@loserone also suggested the same earlier today. Definitely a possibility. Not sure if I can be arsed with parts darts. I think it might be better to reverse it into the sea off Marsden cliffs. Going to sleep on it. 

 

*overly dramatic flounce ends*

[tooSavvy]

"shudda bort a *Getz" 🎱

*other SavvWaggons have been worth it

🤣🤣

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Jim Bell said:

Cheers man. Good shout.

@loserone also suggested the same earlier today. Definitely a possibility. Not sure if I can be arsed with parts darts. I think it might be better to reverse it into the sea off Marsden cliffs. Going to sleep on it. 

 

*overly dramatic flounce ends*

Did yer put new mats in it tho?

[Schaefft]

People are right, unless the brake fluid is totally borked that caliper shouldn't seize that quickly with regular use. The flexipipe should probably show the problem more consistently as well but there's a good chance it's just swollen enough on the inside to not let brake fluid run back. It'll be a dirt cheap fix (until the fitting snaps off the hard line and you'll be stranded).

[JMotor]

Heeee'llll be fine!!

Schaefft is right. Quick look in the bay of E shows front pipes (delivered) for £14.

It'll be more your time. Also repeat soaking in some free off juice will help. Also went straight in with two vice grips, as the union went all chewy when trying to turn it with the spanner.

[Jim Bell]

Nothing worth BANTZ going on here. Just updating the thread for historical accuracy. 

The Astra sloped off to stay with @Tickman then sauntered swiftly on to @Supernaut.

That left a hole the shape of a car in the transportation section of my virtual filofax. 

Enter, @davehedgehog31 who happened to be vending. All @davehedgehog31 products are pre approved for quality and value so I booked a ticket to Scotland and travelled out during a red weather warning for northern England and Scotland. 

 

This is my regret face approximately 3 or so minutes into the 10 or so hour journey. Wet. 

[Jim Bell]

Van is a pure trooper and kept the wet at bay fine on the way home. The cross-climates shod to every corner inspire confidence when navigating sporadic standing water and sloppy surfaces. 

 

 

 

So far, it's been unpeckable as daily transportation. Soon to be pressed into action as a main means of moving home. 

View from collection

[chancer]

Crackin wee van. I really should have kept this. Glad to see it still soldiering on

[Jim Bell]

14 minutes ago, chancer said:

Crackin wee van. I really should have kept this. Glad to see it still soldiering on

Can't keep them all man. It's a great little van for sure. Engine really suits the purpose and it gets far more mpgs than I expected. 

[Jim Bell]

The Kangoo served me well. I used it to move house, drop a hundredweight of detritus at the tip, collect things, go to the shops and commute to work. It never grumbled and returned 50mpg if you treated it kindly. 

Unfortunately, being a van, it's not NEWCASTLE/GATESHEAD ULEZ COMPLIANT, which is where I need to go some times so it was time to pass it on to another keeper. 

Anyway. I was starting to get symptoms of NOT BUY CAR FEVER, and there's only one cure. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Not buy car fever is the biggest killer of shrimp and fat northern men after suicide, heart disease and murder. There are ten stages and I was feeling thirsty (stage 8).

I really must buy something before I go ded. 

[Jim Bell]

I decided that I would buy a nice modern sensible car like a Dacia, or maybe a Nissan Juke or Crashquai. 

I fired up eBay to see what was going down in boring-town. 

 

Sounds delicious but not ethical.

 

Cat food. 

 

Wat

 

Craig looked like the best bet but seven god damn dollars seemed a lot and there was no service history so I tried Marketplace. 

[Jim Bell]

After a bit of doom scrolling and ruling out anything parked on gravel, parked on grass, parked with a caravan or dog in the background, being sold by someone also selling 9 to 27 other cars, any seller with a flag as their profile pic and any car with a pic of the key in the ignition that clearly still has an auction tag still attached, I found something that raised my spirits. 

 

[Jim Bell]

*But only if it's Scotland or Wales. 

As is sometimes the way, the car was far away in the Northland's beyond the wall. Thankfully I have fine friends amongst you troupe of car perverts and @juular and @Lacquer Peel kindly went and had a quick look for me. It got the 4 thumbs up so I booked a train up the hill. 

[Jim Bell]

 

And away we go!

Early start. I missed breakfast so popped to WH SMITHS so I could grab a cheap snack. 

Now I know why they've installed FUCKING DEFRIBULATORS at Darlington rail station. A bottle of water and a Twix came to a kick in the arse off of five pounds. 

Thanks Brexit. 

 

Thanks Tracey. 

 

Felt like a right bell end. 

So I went and stood at the bell end of the station. 

[Jim Bell]

Me striding up the centre isle of the train on my way to make a poo after enjoying my Twix and water. 

[Jim Bell]

Me creeping back from the toilet on the train trying to look inconspicuous because I made an awful monstrosity and the flush wouldn't work so I just piled all the toilet roll on top of it and left a short note of apologies for the next user. 

 

[Jim Bell]

At the far end I was collected from the station by a top shitter in a fine conveyance. It's a car in an actual colour, that rattled like the clappers the way only a daft auld diesel can. 

9 out of 10 stars. Driver was punctual and polite. Would use again. 

 

Scotland be like that way sometime. 

[Jim Bell]

Me thinking about my new car. 

 

 

 

Me seeing it for the first time. 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

It's the colour of bile. 

It is small. 

It is not a Dacia, Kwashkwai or Juke. It's much worse than any of these things. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Jim Bell]

[Jim Bell]

Had a nice catch up with the Juulars and Laquerpeel then decided to hit the road. 

@MrsJuular mentioned that she thought one of the tyres looked a bit soft so I safety checked the front two by kicking them before I got in. I didn't waste time by checking the back two. They don't even steer. Would have wasted precious seconds. 

FORESHADOWING

 

me doing Geordie yoga to try and get my bones and muscles onside before I fold my self into this tiny car. 

 

 

 

Then I checked absolutely nothing else and hit the road. 

[Jim Bell]

It's an 80k 1.2 eco and is as base as they come. The only concession to modernity seems to be electric front windows. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I pointed it south and set the right foot council estate cruise control to a reasonable velocity. 

 

The car seemed to move around a bit but it was quite windy so I ignored that. 

[Jim Bell]

I stopped for a piss near the border and happened to walk past the back of the car. ......

 

 

Ok well that's flat. Like really flat. 

I upgrade my piss to a level three panic shit then came back out to see if it was still flat. It was.