Shitting in the shallow end. *A2 fixt*

[RoadworkUK]

ANTIPOLLUTION FAULT could be a Radiotext message to announce the hipster acid jazz ensemble currently playing.

[Noel Tidybeard]

ANTIPOLUTION FAULT could be a warning for passengers that ww2 is in need of a poo and windows may need lowered

[Jim Bell]

So what's been going on with this 406 coupe, I hear absolutely none of you queueing up to shout. 

Well, the throttle cable was stretched slacker than a dockers pocket making BIG NEGS on throttle pedal travel, speed, acceleration and drivability. 

 

 

A man in overalls was consulted and chins stroked. 

A fix was employed using clips and lashings of SPECIAL STRONG SPEED TAPE.

"That's probably stronger than a new cable. I'm confident that'll see the car out."

Was the verdict. That'll do for me. He's never been found lacking yet. 

 

 

The car is now transformed. It's become fast. Like a sports car. Not VERY like a sports car mind, but more like a sports car than it was. The wheels spin with ease now, shining a spotlight of shame on the front tyres, which are ok in the dry but deadly in the damp. Odd as they're a good brand. I'll just pray for a dry winter for now. 

 

[Jim Bell]

After the success of cabling, moved on the the EML and ANTI POLLUTION FAULT. 

"I'll knock the light off now, and again for MOT"

Apparently almost anything can be the cause of this code, and changing everything sometimes still leaves it on. 

 

 

 

Fortunately DUZ NOT EFFECT DRIVE OFF CAR so do a good ignore at it. 

 

 

Fuk of eml

[Jim Bell]

 

Cool french touch. Digital oil level indicator at position 2. (it's full)

[Jim Bell]

This trim panel was poorly fitted and the OBD2 port lost behind the lower dash so I broke out the Lidl tools. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fixed and now I can run my box of tricks. Check out the idle rpm and charging volts!!!!

[Jim Bell]

Look at those lusty Italian lines. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You could eat your dinner out of here. 

 

 

 

Sleek and low compared to the competition.

 

 

Vertict: good car is good. 

 

[SRi05]

Like for the lo-cost fixes 

[tapir]

@Jim Bell car looks great and good news on the cheap fixes, can I ask what the box of tricks is - assume ELM327? does it need a phone or is it stand alone? looks handy

[Jim Bell]

2 hours ago, tapir said:

@Jim Bell car looks great and good news on the cheap fixes, can I ask what the box of tricks is - assume ELM327? does it need a phone or is it stand alone? looks handy

Just a cheapy affair. Runs hard from OBD2 plug.  

 

https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F254336409474

 

 

 

 

 

[Noel Tidybeard]

5 hours ago, Jim Bell said:

 

look at the reg that nearly says CONEL

[UltraWomble]

Waiting......

 

[loserone]

I've been offroading

 

[Jim Bell]

Uh oh. 

I knew I shouldn't have had Chow Mein for lunch. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Oh god I shouldt have had that second fortune cookie. It's getting more specific. 

 

[loserone]

Does it mention that it doesn't have any MOT?

[Stanky]

[SRi05]

*settles in*

[Jim Bell]

11 minutes ago, loserone said:

Does it mention that it doesn't have any MOT?

 

[Jim Bell]

Just now, SRi05 said:

*settles in*

Please don't.

Nothing is happening till Friday. 

[SRi05]

Oh. I'll get my coat then ?

[loserone]

Just now, Jim Bell said:

Please don't.

Nothing is happening till Friday. 

Except hopefully

2 hours ago, loserone said:

I've been offroading

 

Me getting this out of here in the dark

[NorfolkNWeigh]

On 24 November 2019 at 8:34 PM, Jim Bell said:

The correct answer is:

D) they went much worse. 

I think somebody in Paris said " Fuck the Italians, what have they ever done for us?"  " We can design and build our own halo cars , merci beucoup!" 

Our  2.0 dizzler one has the same pollution warning, but only since it was MOTed a couple weeks ago, it is doing 46 mpg and pulls like a train though , so I'll worry about it if it looks like it might make it to another MOT.

[loserone]

Oh, I did get out.  406 coupe best 4*4*far

[Jim Bell]

Collection day is finally here and a long and arduous day has begun. Not for me, I'm still in bed. The brave collection team have been on the road since 04:00 a.m. in the morning and as far as I am aware, collection team poo count stands at a One. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Dodgy Dave is ready with the readies. 

 

[mrbenn]

Excellent. Just what the doctor ordered for a Friday morning!

[The Moog]

I think HMRC might want a chat with dodgy Dave in regard to an unexplained wealth order.... He doesn't look like he came by that cash in a legitimate way...

[Jim Bell]

The COLECTCO-COMPUTRON has been fired up and is just working out variable of cost Vs time/distance to calculate the best route. 

At least two of these buttons will be required today. 

 

[Jim Bell]

Not sure if the deal is done yet so I'm checking the old gypsy way and getting the missus to piss on a stick. 

 

 

 

Have to wait three minutes apparently.