What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Pieman]

Driving home yesterday and was behind a couple of fairly slow lorries as I headed round a fairly large roundabout. 

 

Bloke in a new Mondeo comes steaming up behind me, nearly hits me up the arse, then absolutely HAS to get ahead of the slow lorries before leaving the roundabout (he could easily have waited and then overtaken on the next bit of dual carriageway but no, he was far too important for that) so cuts across a couple of lanes to dodge ahead of them.  As he cuts ahead of the trucks he realises that he is going to run out of room and in taking avoiding action goes WALLOP into the kerb and nearly up onto the grass verge. 

 

I nearly crashed laughing!

[PhilA]

Been working on upgrading the download speeds we provide over cable.

 

Not bad for the boonies.

 

 

Phil

[Eddie Honda]

Dismal upload speed though.

 

I had to dig Virgin out to sort my upload. A couple of filters removed and we're back in business.

 

[PhilA]

Dismal upload speed though.

 

I had to dig Virgin out to sort my upload. A couple of filters removed and we're back in business.

 

Hardware upgrade coming to address the upload. That's not in place yet

 

Phil

[DeeJay]

Roffle win Suzuki (from the moog, Sept/16) passed its mot yesterday.

Some advisories but they will be sorted. 

[The Moog]

Roffle win Suzuki (from the moog, Sept/16) passed its mot yesterday.

Some advisories but they will be sorted.

Glad that is still trundling along. What's the mileage now?

[DeeJay]

45318

[John F]

Just had an FTP in my Disco 300 TDi, right in the middle of a busy road junction. Initial suspicion was that I'd run out of fuel due to a possible faulty fuel gauge / sender, not in itself a problem as there was a filling station nearby & I had a spare fuel can in the boot.

 

I then flattened the battery trying (so I thought) to pump fuel through the system.

 

The grin? Good mates.

 

The first lot came out to help in a 1.2 Clio, the idea being I could use their battery to jump the Disco. No luck, but thanks for trying to help.

 

Next mate turns up in a Nissan 350z, who manages to tow me up the hill to my house.

 

Then another mate (an agricultural engineer) turns up to my house with a Merc C-class diesel full of Snap-On diagnostic gear, we soon traced the fault to a blown 10 a fuse on the stop solenoid circuit.

 

Disco is now happy again, as am I 

[SiC]

Out in the TT today when I had another one pull up by the side of me at the traffic lights. He was probably what most would describe as your stereotypical TT owner (to be fair the same probably could said about me) with his girlfriend next to him. As he was tailgating me before hand (I was doing the speed limit), I hazard a guess that he probably was going to race off the lights. Being a childish sort of person, I couldn't resist. Especially as it a straight dual carriageway into an NSL.

 

Gear shifter moved from Drive to Sport.

 

Traffic Light GP lights are Red ... Amber ... Green for Go!

 

I let go of the brake and planted the accelerator. Front chinese, winter rated death rings squarked and scrabbled for any grip they could while the Traction Control system flashed frantically away as it tried to keep everything in check.

 

Naturally I got ahead and stayed ahead. There was a good 2 car lengths ahead by the time I got up to 70mph when I backed off the accelerator.

 

I could see him loosing speed and lurching on his (presumably) manual gear changes. I do like DSG...

 

In my defense of taking the bait is that it was a good test to see if everything was working well! Especially as both cars should have had similar performance as being nearly identical. So all the horses must be still alive in the engine and the gearbox must be whirring its cogs properly.

 

Quite why he was bothering racing another TT off the line I'm not really sure why...

 

I've slightly forgiven it for costing me far too much last month now.

 

*Puts on flame suit from this Pistonheads style post*

[Tamworthbay]

Out in the TT today when I had another one pull up by the side of me at the traffic lights. He was probably what most would describe as your stereotypical TT owner (to be fair the same probably could said about me) with his girlfriend next to him. As he was tailgating me before hand (I was doing the speed limit), I hazard a guess that he probably was going to race off the lights. Being a childish sort of person, I couldn't resist. Especially as it a straight dual carriageway into an NSL.

Gear shifter moved from Drive to Sport.

Traffic Light GP lights are Red ... Amber ... Green for Go!

I let go of the brake and planted the accelerator. Front chinese, winter rated death rings squarked and scrabbled for any grip they could while the Traction Control system flashed frantically away as it tried to keep everything in check.

Naturally I got ahead and stayed ahead. There was a good 2 car lengths ahead by the time I got up to 70mph when I backed off the accelerator.

I could see him loosing speed and lurching on his (presumably) manual gear changes. I do like DSG...

In my defense of taking the bait is that it was a good test to see if everything was working well! Especially as both cars should have had similar performance as being nearly identical. So all the horses must be still alive in the engine and the gearbox must be whirring its cogs properly.

I've slightly forgiven it for costing me far too much last month now. *Puts on flame suit from this Pistonheads style post*

Auto boxes are brill for TLGPs! I have pissed off some serious kit in my filthy 318 touring. I particularly enjoy the post back off big grin at them as they go past. Really childish but saved for the muppet who is coming up behind then moves to the outside lane at the last minute when he sees your car.

[beko1987]

My old gooner shifted alarmingly fast if I properly buried the throttle from a stop! Was always fun! Once hit reset on the cruise from 35, cruise was set at 80... That was scary

[SiC]

My old gooner shifted alarmingly fast if I properly buried the throttle from a stop! Was always fun! Once hit reset on the cruise from 35, cruise was set at 80... That was scary

You should have tried it in the V6 flavour.

 

My Laguna II V6 (now angle) was superb for the TLGP. Unassuming so most didn't try too hard to get in front at the start. Then the V6 roar kicked in and the 330i next to you realises he needs to try a bit harder. But at that point you're far enough ahead and at the NSL. Then you can back off, pull into the inside lane and just cruise or start to slow down for the next set of lights while they try to catch up.

 

The slush boxes (well all the ones I've driven) aren't particularly quick off the line as the torque converter looses a bit trying to get it moving quickly. However it is a smooth pull off. DSG on the hand pretty much just dumps the clutch and you go. It does jerks forward and not particularly smooth when doing this.

 

Once I replace those front tyres I'm going to have to test out Launch Control. Which I'll need to film, as it may be very quick or the box may go bang...

[Guest Hooli]

Just had an FTP in my Disco 300 TDi, right in the middle of a busy road junction. Initial suspicion was that I'd run out of fuel due to a possible faulty fuel gauge / sender, not in itself a problem as there was a filling station nearby & I had a spare fuel can in the boot.

 

I then flattened the battery trying (so I thought) to pump fuel through the system.

 

The grin? Good mates.

 

The first lot came out to help in a 1.2 Clio, the idea being I could use their battery to jump the Disco. No luck, but thanks for trying to help.

 

Next mate turns up in a Nissan 350z, who manages to tow me up the hill to my house.

 

Then another mate (an agricultural engineer) turns up to my house with a Merc C-class diesel full of Snap-On diagnostic gear, we soon traced the fault to a blown 10 a fuse on the stop solenoid circuit.

 

Disco is now happy again, as am I 

 

My first thought reading that was 'stop solenoid' mostly as the wire to mine burnt out along the side of the head once. Not only causing it to stop like yours, but I had smoke coming out of the bonnet & the latch chose that day to jam....

 

It got bonnet pins shortly afterwards as the latch never worked for more than a few days.

[beko1987]

You should have tried it in the V6 flavour.

 

My Laguna II V6 (now angle) was superb for the TLGP. Unassuming so most didn't try too hard to get in front at the start. Then the V6 roar kicked in and the 330i next to you realises he needs to try a bit harder. But at that point you're far enough ahead and at the NSL. Then you can back off, pull into the inside lane and just cruise or start to slow down for the next set of lights while they try to catch up.

 

The slush boxes (well all the ones I've driven) aren't particularly quick off the line as the torque converter looses a bit trying to get it moving quickly. However it is a smooth pull off. DSG on the hand pretty much just dumps the clutch and you go. It does jerks forward and not particularly smooth when doing this.

 

Once I replace those front tyres I'm going to have to test out Launch Control. Which I'll need to film, as it may be very quick or the box may go bang...

No your right. 1st was hardly anything but it hit the limiter and slammed into 2nd fast, and then the torque kicked in, limiter then 3rd and oh look, 70...

 

Then as you say ease off into 5th and come off 1/2 a mile later at your junction just as the car you raced is doing a ton and smug that he's got past.

 

 

The xantia was even more brilliant at it, I'm sure bub agrees... That had an added smoke screen too

[Tayne]

 Then the V6 roar kicked in and the 330i next to you realises he needs to try a bit harder. But at that point you're far enough ahead and at the NSL. 

 

 

 

Get yourself a V6 Gooner auto, bring it to Crail and then we'll settle this.

 

Yours Sincerely, 

Manual 330 Owner.

[SiC]

Unfortunately a V6 Gooner is rare thing.

 

Took a over 6 months of looking before I found my last! Have be tempted to see if angle would sell his back to me.

It's a car that I missed.

 

Are you a E46 or E90 330i? E46 I'd have you, unless you don't like your clutch and prepared to have a launch control style, drop the clutch launch.

E90/E91/etc, yeah you'd have the edge.

 

Unless there is corners involved, then I'm out! It'd understeer into the nearest hedge instead of going around the corner...

[Guest Hooli]

Unless there is corners involved, then I'm out! It'd understeer into the nearest hedge instead of going around the corner...

 

The answer to that is left foot braking...

 

When my goona had the crazy throttle issues & wanted to do 65ish on it's own it'd often get sideways under braking if the roads where wet.

[Tayne]

Unfortunately a V6 Gooner is rare thing.

 

Took a over 6 months of looking before I found my last! Have be tempted to see if angle would sell his back to me.

It's a car that I missed.

 

Are you a E46 or E90 330i? E46 I'd have you, unless you don't like your clutch and prepared to have a launch control style, drop the clutch launch.

E90/E91/etc, yeah you'd have the edge.

 

Unless there is corners involved, then I'm out! It'd understeer into the nearest hedge instead of going around the corner...

 

 

 

Its an e46.

 

What do you think an a v6 auto Gooner will do on the quarter mile?

[SiC]

Its an e46.

 

What do you think an a v6 auto Gooner will do on the quarter mile?

I honestly don't know. I can't imagine it's that dissimilar to an auto 330i to be honest. Slow off the line because a slush box but once going and hits the VVTi range + cams, it should be alright. Similar power levels to the 3l BMW engine of that era. The Laguna II is mostly plastic too, so doesn't weight as much as some may expect.

 

The BMW may have the edge at the start, as BMW likes to have a long 2nd gear to get those good 0-60s book times that help sells cars.

[Guest Hooli]

 

 

What do you think an a v6 auto Gooner will do on the quarter mile?

 

About 3/16 of a mile...

[burraston2006]

Two grins today!

The first- helped an old lady clear her flat and she gave me two 6 month old leather lazy-boy armchairs.

The second-a local tit in his omgslammed Civic tripe R thought he was going to burn me up at the lights. I don't think he realised see that the P38 Rangie can pick up her skirts and move rapidly ( probably cost a gallon of petrol but it was worth it!).

[Tayne]

I honestly don't know. I can't imagine it's that dissimilar to an auto 330i to be honest. Slow off the line because a slush box but once going and hits the VVTi range + cams, it should be alright. Similar power levels to the 3l BMW engine of that era. The Laguna II is mostly plastic too, so doesn't weight as much as some may expect.

The BMW may have the edge at the start, as BMW likes to have a long 2nd gear to get those good 0-60s book times that help sells cars.

At the risk of sounding all PisssedInSheds, No.

[bub2006]

No your right. 1st was hardly anything but it hit the limiter and slammed into 2nd fast, and then the torque kicked in, limiter then 3rd and oh look, 70...

 

Then as you say ease off into 5th and come off 1/2 a mile later at your junction just as the car you raced is doing a ton and smug that he's got past.

 

 

The xantia was even more brilliant at it, I'm sure bub agrees... That had an added smoke screen too

The xantia couldn't be booted in first as I found it too short but dropped into second and nail it and it went. I agree with the dsg box though. The Skoda has the 7 speed box and the acceleratio/mid range punch is so much more than anything I've drove before and completely stupid for a 1.4. Variable vane turbo though I believe and 250nm of torque with the turbo spooling from 1500rpm to 4000 no wonder it's quick. Will sit in excess 70 at 2400rpm. Sic,what engine and box is in your TT?

[SiC]

Sic,what engine and box is in your TT?

2.0TFSi BWA, 200bhp lump. Attached to a 02E 6 speed wet clutch DSG gearbag.

 

</VAG nerdy nomenclature>

[bub2006]

I've got the dry clutch 7speed then,never remember which one is which. The 1.4 certainly feels quicker than its 150bhp it's meant to have. Yours in a more aerodynamic body with I guess 4 wheel drive will be a bit of a demon. The 1.4 has a 0-60 of 7.4 I think and a top end of 138 but yet driven not too hasty can achieve 40+ local and 50+ motorway. Once managed 62mpg on a run back from Bournemouth too.

[SiC]

No quattro on mine. It's a nice idea in theory but it adds weight and looses power through the drivetrain. So you end up with worse fuel economy and yet more things to break. Magneride active suspension on mine is scary enough in part cost to repair alone.

 

6 speed wet clutch boxes are apparently more durable* than the later 7 speed dry clutches. The dry clutches have had significant problems with excessive wear. VAG went to dry clutch as it gives better fuel economy. However there is no fluid washing round to keep them cool. Not a problem for you of course but to a second hand buyer when it's out of warranty, it's something that needs to be considered.

 

My manager has a 7spd Polo GTi. Very nice box. Much smoother than mine ... But then it has 110k less on the clock and is worth 3 times my TT.

 

Fuel economy on the TT I've not been checking. I did flick through and noticed that from the last time I reset, it was saying 24mpg. Not great but then not awful as it's doing mostly city driving.

 

Oh and it only likes super unleaded. Normal makes it run lumpier and power is down slightly. The fuel cap recommends 98 octane too.

[beko1987]

No quattro on mine. It's a nice idea in theory but it adds weight and looses power through the drivetrain. So you end up with worse fuel economy and yet more things to break. Magneride active suspension on mine is scary enough in part cost to repair alone.

 

6 speed wet clutch boxes are apparently more durable* than the later 7 speed dry clutches. The dry clutches have had significant problems with excessive wear. VAG went to dry clutch as it gives better fuel economy. However there is no fluid washing round to keep them cool. Not a problem for you of course but to a second hand buyer when it's out of warranty, it's something that needs to be considered.

 

My manager has a 7spd Polo GTi. Very nice box. Much smoother than mine ... But then it has 110k less on the clock and is worth 3 times my TT.

 

Fuel economy on the TT I've not been checking. I did flick through and noticed that from the last time I reset, it was saying 24mpg. Not great but then not awful as it's doing mostly city driving.

 

Oh and it only likes super unleaded. Normal makes it run lumpier and power is down slightly. The fuel cap recommends 98 octane too.

My mate had that engine in his old octavia and said exactly the same, it only likes expensive petrol! Proven more mpg as well (he does 2 tanks a week so got nerdy and proved it to debunk the myth) He has a company diesel octavia vrs now and apparently it doesn't care as much but it's company fuel so it still gets fed premium

[SiC]

My mate had that engine in his old octavia and said exactly the same, it only likes expensive petrol! Proven more mpg as well (he does 2 tanks a week so got nerdy and proved it to debunk the myth) He has a company diesel octavia vrs now and apparently it doesn't care as much but it's company fuel so it still gets fed premium

It seems typical of German cars of that era. Even our Golf Mk5 1.6 FSi only likes super unleaded - despite only have 120bhp. It was one of the reasons we got rid of it. I find the requirement for super really annoying. It's not like 200bhp is that much to get out of a 2l turbo - especially in the era this was made.

[bub2006]

No quattro on mine. It's a nice idea in theory but it adds weight and looses power through the drivetrain. So you end up with worse fuel economy and yet more things to break. Magneride active suspension on mine is scary enough in part cost to repair alone.

 

6 speed wet clutch boxes are apparently more durable* than the later 7 speed dry clutches. The dry clutches have had significant problems with excessive wear. VAG went to dry clutch as it gives better fuel economy. However there is no fluid washing round to keep them cool. Not a problem for you of course but to a second hand buyer when it's out of warranty, it's something that needs to be considered.

 

My manager has a 7spd Polo GTi. Very nice box. Much smoother than mine ... But then it has 110k less on the clock and is worth 3 times my TT.

 

Fuel economy on the TT I've not been checking. I did flick through and noticed that from the last time I reset, it was saying 24mpg. Not great but then not awful as it's doing mostly city driving.

 

Oh and it only likes super unleaded. Normal makes it run lumpier and power is down slightly. The fuel cap recommends 98 octane too.

Mine has just rolled round to 6k from new. I've also tried super unleaded but can't tell a noticeable difference. My filler cap says super unleaded 95ron minimum so I'd guess in other countries super is 95 onwards and standard is sub 95? To be fair I doubt I'd like to buy one myself,1.4 must be under a lot of stress or maybe I'm just old fashioned in my views that small cc engines can't cope with high power! Alot of technology too, everything on mine runs through the head unit. If mine manages ok in my hands it should be a testament to durability I guess!

[SiC]

Anyway enough modern plastic fantastic VAG talk.

 

My wife and mother-in-law are going to a Spa treatment day tomorrow, leaving my father-in-law and myself to go to the British Motor Museum at Gaydon. Just looking on their website and it turns out this is on:

National Metro & Mini Show

 

Should be good! I'm also hoping that I may find some ado16 parts if I'm lucky.

 

Anyone else going from here?? MarvinsMom?