The new news 24 thread

[scaryoldcortina]

Yup. That's her.

 

She's also the same person my daughter wrote the following rant about on the day the police relived me of both my liberty and a datsun 260z about 10 years back...

 

 

 

And this leaves me to the loitering customers, I refer to as "sweating fat heiffer". The reason for which she has this nickname is that she conveniently never has enough money, owns a deisel corsa, and seems to never think of taking a bath! The funny thing is, my dad was looking at her car as requested by her to see if he could "bodge" the very badly beaten curse word box, which had a burnt out clutch, snapped gear box mount, and smelt like a herd of goats had lived in it for a millenium. This is because she had it in the paper next day for £300ish as working condition. Even though its a revolting death trap of a diesel corsa. My dad told her just before he had been arresed that there was no way in hell he was going to "bodge" her car, and that the only way to make anything off it would be to scrap it for £50. But no she insisted that he told her he was going to do it and that my friend and I must have heard wrong. So shortly after hearing that statement I when blue in the face and told her kindly to remove her body from the premises. She never handed the money that she owed to me at the time, because she weanted to flutter her eyelids as he gazed into her eyes of beauty. (what a load of.....) So after she had took some of her rubbish out of her car in fear of the off chance that her car may be broken into in a secure garage in a secure compund. In my opinion only a blind, traveller with no sense of smell would target that biological hazard! As i know of personal experience my oldest most stupid dog will not go near that car! And she's nearly dead

 

Some people just can't take a hint!

[Parky]

To be honest even if I had a spare car (which I don't) I would be extremely reluctant to lend or sell it to someone like that. Firstly if I lent it I wouldn't get it back, and if I sold it I would expect to be told she can't pay for it yet but will owe it to me. Meaning I'm not getting paid. Plus she seems the sort of person who would expect anything she gets will come with a lifetime parts and labour warranty.

 

Think I would be inclined to say you will be happy to find and fit her a replacement engine. You will need £500 up front and you will get around to it at some point in the next month. If that's no good she had best speak to someone else. Maybe that expert who managed to blow the last engine up could do it?

[Parky]

In other news I noticed I had a pollen filter in my garage I meant to fit last year.

 

Yup, probably about time.....

[Jams]

I think the only language these people know is fuck off. I would hate to curse infront of a whoman but this throbber deserves it!

[bub2006]

Perhaps scary should have sheefag answer the next time? He will perhaps not be as kind.

[Parky]

Hello Dave? My wife has an Argos catalogue for you Dave...

[scaryoldcortina]

That's a cracking idea bub. I'll pass on all three of her numbers next saturday evening

[Mally]

Yup. That's her.

 

She's also the same person my daughter wrote the following rant about on the day the police relived me of both my liberty and a datsun 260z about 10 years back...

 

 

 

 

Some people just can't take a hint!

Shes known you for over 10 years and never taken offence.

You are obviously a very nice man in her eyes.

[Mally]

Banged my head on the up and over door today, damaged head but not door.

Memo to self, always open it fully. It's been electric for 15 years but broke now, maybe best to repair it.

[beko1987]

Perhaps scary should have sheefag answer the next time? He will perhaps not be as kind.

You could have great fun, alternate her between sheefag, alcyonecorporation, hairnet, toosavvy and yourself!

[danthecapriman]

Needed a break on my way home yesterday and the M11 apparently has no services, at least on the stretch I was on.  Ducked into the Imperial War Museum instead and found a tank in the car park.

 

IMAG2152.jpg

 

IMAG2153.jpg

That's not a tank.

Das ist ein panzer!

[Parky]

Maybe we could have a whip round to get her a cheap car. She can have it for free, no obligations whatsoever. Only problem is someone has written the "C" word on the bonnet, roof, tailgate and doors. With brake fluid...

[tooSavvy]

You could have great fun, alternate her between sheefag, alcyonecorporation, hairnet, toosavvy and yourself!

I'll have you know I would never disabuse folks - over the phone - they have a habit of being much larger/rajjier/offensive when they come looking for you

 

TS

*does not apply when drunk/with large hairy mates to back you up obv

[bub2006]

Yea I don't mind. You can't type a stammer but as I said on another post I'm a bit similar to Arkwright with my speech but a lot more angry. Then again no one takes me seriously anymore. Hell I don't take myself seriously nowadays. I someone argues I say fuck it. But yea give her my number. I'm game.

[Bren]

Sorry but people like this woman just suck the life out of you.

 

I'd be giving her a polite fuck off.

[Guest Hooli]

I wouldn't be polite.

[Bren]

Tell her you know of a nice vectra for sale.

 

Unlikely you will hear from her again.

[Pete-M]

I think I've actually found a car I want to keep.

 

That's not happened before. It's only taken me hundreds of cars to find it.

[Bren]

Come on Pete spill the beans.

[Matt]

It's mad what people donate to charity shops, presumably without really knowing what they have. 1965-1971 Tonka!

 

[Matt]

ALL VXLs ARE SHIT.

 

It's a Vauxhall, isn't it?

[scaryoldcortina]

OK, I answered the phone again... it's like a soap opera, I can't help wanting to know what went wrong this time!

 

She got the bus from Durham to Middlesbrough on the strength of a facebook message from someone she's never met saying she could have a 2002 Corsa for £100 (note that the story has changed from "friend" and "free" to "facebook" and "a oner"). Facebook fella said he'd message her his address and phone number but never did, she's wasted half the day and only just got home.

 

I wonder why someone would trick her like that... lmao

 

PS, someone with facebook needs to look for an advert - durham area, Ford Focus, says "free" but is actually a wanted ad asking for a free car, there is a pic of a gold mk1 focus on the ad. Please help this poor woman with as many totally genuine offers of free cars as you can.

[Ghosty]

I think I've actually found a car I want to keep.

 

That's not happened before. It's only taken me hundreds of cars to find it.

 

Is it that C32 again?

[richardmorris]

I am venturing into London tomorrow - dropping the merc off in isleworth first for its annual service and mot and getting the train in to Waterloo for a meeting at Burlington house. Anyone need anything from Bond Street, Burlington arcade or fortnums?

 

Rather annoyingly the moths seem to have been at my wool overcoat. Perhaps no one will notice.

[wuvvum]

Citroen AMI6 Break in Arundel - anybody on here?

That's Mr Bickle's neck of the woods, but I don't know if he has an Ami6.

[Pete-M]

Is it that C32 again?

Yup. The silliest car I've ever owned, yet it'll pootle around town like a limo.

[Guest]

Had a poke at it today....it just spins up the fan to max speed, doesnt attempt an ignition cycle, doesnt pulse the fuel pump, then shuts off after a minute or so. I stripped it....nothing obviously wrong, glowplug works, I dont see an injector as such, it seems to be pressurised diesel from the pump wicks into a mesh of some sort and has air blown through it....its all present and correct as far as I can tell. Cleaned and reassembled and its no different.

The Freelander forum is as much use as wellies on a trout, the Rover75 forum has a few threads on them....symptoms indicate a failed main circuit board which is apparently what kills most of them. 

 

Verdict - bin.

There is one in the Vito- same as you.. took it apart, checked everything, fan works,glowplug works, pump works, power there etc, but nothing. gave up with it but it's bothering me. I've read they "lock out" after so many failed starts,and have to be reset by a diagnostic computer. Delphi goes into it but says no faults? I'll get around to it again sometime.

 

Some LR related info here if you haven't given up totally.

https://www.disco3.co.uk/wiki/Fuel_Burning_Heater

[dave21478]

There is one in the Vito- same as you.. took it apart, checked everything, fan works,glowplug works, pump works, power there etc, but nothing. gave up with it but it's bothering me. I've read they "lock out" after so many failed starts,and have to be reset by a diagnostic computer. Delphi goes into it but says no faults? I'll get around to it again sometime.

 

Some LR related info here if you haven't given up totally.

https://www.disco3.co.uk/wiki/Fuel_Burning_Heater

Aye, as far as I can gather, after 3 failed ignitions it locks out. This happened a couple of times when it was working in the Freelander and it could be reset by removing its fuse for a minute and refitting. No joy now though. Thats an interesting page though, I might make up a diagnostic loom and try the software.

[DodgeRover]

Yep please keep playing, I fancy fitting one to preheat and de-ice the van from the comfort of the house or to run the heater without the engine on a lunch break.

Whatever you can find out would be handy.

[dollywobbler]

I think the only language these people know is fuck off. I would hate to curse infront of a whoman but this throbber deserves it!

Oh please. Very charming but move with the times. My wife can have a right potty mouth when doing DIY.