Childhood Autoshite Anecdotes

[Supernaut]

My dad had some sort of beige Talbot, but not sure which. I was too young to remember.

 

He also had a c reg nova 1.2 merit saloon. It was pastel blue and a 4 speed. My mum hated it because it always broke down when she drove it. Mum bought a brand new mk1 punto instead, and they also had an A reg VW T25 alongside these. The VW would break in hilarious ways on a regular basis too. It was a faithful bus for the annual family holiday for years though. Aberdeen - Hull - ferry to Zebrugge, then drive down into France. Those black vinyl seats were hell in the bright sun!

 

 

Myoldest brother wrote off the nova, and we all thanked him! (Apart from dad). Its replacement was a red Peugeot 309 1.3 GL. That was class, even had a little gold coach stripe on the sides.

[fordperv]

My love of Capris came from a black 2.0S owned by my brother in law who used to rag the shit out of it. Well I say A Capri, it turned out to be two that had been welded together in a classic cut and shut job, the front end and half the floor was one car, the roof and back end was another.

Mine is a similar spark for them dad and uncle fp used to play with mk3 capris back in the day (as well as a lot of other rwd fords) but my uncle couldnt drive for shit, my dad used to make them dance and I loved it, the one I remember the most is a bright red x pack they built and rebuilt a lovely bored out 3.0 for, the back tyres were like garden rollers but it used to light them up easily, someone crashed into it when it was parked outside a shop and smashed its beautiful face in

[AMC Rebel]

I- it had what must have been rock hard Town & Countries on the back.   

Bloody hell! Town and Countries - I had forgotten all about those!

 

My Dad had them on the back of the Ford Classic that replaced the A30.  I remember us getting a puncture going somewhere when it was just him and me - in the pouring rain.

[AMC Rebel]

Oh, just remembered the brakes on my Uncles Landcrab failed once when it was just him and me in it.  He was terrified apparently - I was totally unflapped as I had no idea what had happened or how serious it was.  I just recall him pulling a big umbrella shaped lever (turns out early landcrabs had umbrella handbrakes - who knew?- me) under the dashboard.

[gadgetgricey]

I remember years ago a trip to Blackpool for the day. Went round the pleasure beach for a few hours and when we came back my Dad's Merc had a massive dent in the side. He was not happy ........

 

 

Only joking............

[gadgetgricey]

One of the scareiest experiences I had as a child was in my Dad's Two Door Cortina.

 

Family holiday to the Isle of Wight, Arrived early at the terminal to try and get an earlier crossing. Lucky us (or so we thought) and we followed a large freezer lorry on to the ferry. Literally the last car on the ferry, tucked in at the back.

Quite a windy day and the crossing was a little bumpy, but the worse was yet to come.

 

Arrived t'other end, but was not able to leave the ferry.

 

Basically the lorry in front of us, had parked its front wheels right next to a small ramp on the ferry floor. It could not get enough momentum to get over this ramp.

Cue a lot of very nervous passengers in Dad's cortina as lorry tried to move forward and then rolled back on a few occasions. (we were packed in really tightly, so space for the lorry was limited.

 

Now this was nerve racking enough, but the solution was even scarier.

 

They lowered the boarding ramp down. Which was now over the sea. So dad had to reverse out onto the ramp with the sea on all three sides, and the ferry moving up and down a bit. (probably not that much, but nearly discovered adreneline was brown that day)

 

This then let the lorry reverse a bit and get a run up at the ramp, and away we all went.

 

Not a fun start to a holiday.

[bub2006]

My dad would have been a class 1 shiter when i was younger. Buy a car at the weekend,bull it up and back in admag for saturday next. Rinse and repeat. Going on holiday in numerous estate cars with two kids sat on cushions in the boot also shared with two dogs and a caravan on the back. 7 people in total and two mutts. Ones that spring to mind for that is a g plate Peugeot 405 1.9 gr carbed and a j plate sierra 1.8td. He bought a x registered volvo 245 from Clipston and coming through mansfield it died. Recovery mission involved a talbot alpine. If anyone knows buttery lane in skegby they will know a talbot towing a volvo estate will struggle!

Coming home from skegness in a 2.3 diesel a plated carlton and brakes seized on. From lincoln to skegby stopping every 5 mile to bray the shite out the front hub.

Ford granada ghia estate held together by rust and good luck blew its head gasket coming home from yarmouth. He always regrets getting rid of his late 70s model vauxhall magnum 2300 coupe. Firenza i think it said on the boot lid. Growing up though we dod a lot of touring so always had large engine cars preferred with auto boxes. Problem with having autos was when my mum was alive she could only drive automatic cars so if she got up for work and it was raining my dad was left with the honda cub!

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Dad and my uncles had a cracking mix......

 

Uncle R - was a sales rep and bit of a wide boy.... He had a 240Z that I adored, loved it and regretted it when he was forced to 'upgrade' to the 260Z when they came out.... then he managed to get hold of an MR2 just as I passed my test. He was nice enough to let me loose in it (only once!)

 

Uncle P - Datsun 120Y bought from local 'dealer' and it was a proper shed. The rust was epic although it went like shit off a stick, it was back n forth for repairs quite a few times until the front suspension on the pass side collapsed completely (through the turret IIRC) and he slid for quite a while on the roof.......  compensated with an Avenger 1600. Loved that one too - but it never ran right. Stolen from outside my grans place and burned out.... RIP.

Yellow Mk1 Escort 1600 Sport - lovely thing on the surface but rotten as a pear too. My uncle found the weirdest back street traders and dodgy repair shops to source his wheels for a good few years.

 

Dad had a Mk1 Escort too - that one he slammed the boot closed in a fit of anger with mum and friends on our way to Blackpool..... my fingers were flattened but didn't break thankfully...... stolen and burned out one weekend night.

Hillman Hunter - GLS no less and a great car. Engine threw a wobbly so he grabbed a Hillman Superminx (crash damaged write off) for the engine. Many a glorious soaked hour helping him with that....... drunk driver pulled out and it was written off not long after. The Superminx was burned out in the garage we had at the end of the street.

Cortina Mk3 2000XL - loads of NE to Cornwall or Devon trips in that one, rear arm bushes, a new axle (diff was toast) and a new engine too at one point.... soldiered on for 8+yrs until rot claimed it.

First one that really sticks out, roofrack tie-on fail - both suitcases on the A19..... dad stopped and went to gather it up. Classic cue - hells angels roared out of the blue yonder and passed either side of him as he panicked on the white line.... I swear they were trying to get as close as they could without hitting him...... we all pee'd ourselves watching from the car.

Little bro was travel sick too, the amount of cars that learned to stay the fuck back on the twisties was immeasurable as a small boy projectile vomited into a decent airflow.

It lunched the timing belt on a hill going into Wiltshire - nearby family came out to try and tow us in a Skoda - lots of smoke and cursing later we left it in a carpark and all jumped in the Skoda. Came back next day in a retired black cab.... fantastic field motor. Southern uncle had a massive collection of rotten old crap all over Devizes. Loved every visit!

One time dropping us off at grans, sister was pissed off and slammed the rear door - unfortunately I was leaning in talking to my dad so fingers were flattened. Dad panicked, had the car in gear unfortunately, it jumped forward and THAT is what broke them.

Replaced by a Cortina 80 (some called it Mk5) that was another bush eater...... I was doing them for/with him by then. Another axle swap too and I then went a bit mad on the 1600 so it went fairly well. Another one stolen, this time recovered but stolen again 4mths later..... I found it in a dodgy back street 'dealer' a year later although plod wasn't too interested at all......

 

EDIT for home made trailer!!!! - angle iron, wood and mini wheels..... proper job and all good. Only issue we had with it ever, was some impatient SD1 driver clipped the steel wheel cover and bent it in on the tyre. A lot of wobbling and burned rubber later we swapped it on the hard shoulder and toddled off home. SD1 didn't stop (or notice I think).

[Supernaut]

From about 2000-2006 my dad had a Land Rover Series 3 88" as a farm workhorse. I got my licence in 2005 (yeah, I'm a young'un) so it was one of the first vehicles I was let loose on the open road in.

 

It didn't have a straight panel on it, and it had a huge flood light mounted on the back to use as a reverse light. When we first collected it, it had the old-style raised letter number plates... for the wrong car, so the previous owner had removed half the raised letters and spray painted the correct ones on to make the correct number plate for it. They were promptly replaced with the local motor factors' finest.

It also had a wooden bulkhead with a sliding window just behind the front seats.

 

That Landy lunched its head gasket... twice. I remember getting quite good at helping strip the top end off that engine.

It also lunched its gearbox once. We drained the gearbox oil and found chunks in it, so we ended up fitting another one. Didn't even need to jack it up to do it! Lost the overdrive in the process though. Yup, it had a genuine Sealey Overdrive box! Had, like I said, until we had to replace the gearbox.

It also spat out a u-joint once. It could be used in RWD or 4WD mode, one day we were pootling along with an empty trailer on the back, in RWD mode, and the whole thing started shaking violently, then lost drive completely. Dad crawled under, removed the u-joint, whacked it into 4WD mode and drove home with power just going to the front wheels only.

 

It eventually needed far too much welding, so got sold to some gamekeepers who wanted to use it for lamping. Bloody thing had a safari door on the back, so we'd never had the roof off it, but I guess if you tried hard enough you probably could...

[Guest Hooli]

I drove my Disco back from Wales to Sussex in FWD a few times after snapping too many halfshafts/props/diffs over a weekend. They don't half wheelspin well when the boost kicks in out of roundabouts RWD Discos for similar reasons are even more fun.

[tooSavvy]

I went over on the IoW ferry. A big lorry was on too & when we arrived it wouldn't start. Shout went up 'anyone aboard with jumpers?'

 

Still no luck...

 

Fu#k off enormous fork thinggie lumbers onto the car deck and chain-hauls the tuck off = no brake air/all locked tyres/screeeeechhhhh & off. JEEZzzze!!!

 

Not to be forgotten event....

 

 

TS

[Mally]

We were poor...my dad had old motorcycle combinations that were always broken.

The petrol cap had a large wingnut that I, age 4 could undo.

I did this and smelt the petrol for a while until I fell off the bike.

Dr arrived, marched, (half carried) me round and round the garden for 30 minutes.

Rollacked my Dad and told him not to let me go to sleep.

Then my Mum had words as well.

Smells nice though.

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

Dad's first car was a Ford Prefect, (the sort with running boards), we lived on Anglesey at the time where there were plenty of humpback bridges.

Dad took one a bit fast and broke the transverse front leaf spring.

It was "repaired" with a blade from another spring bound to the remains of the spring with rope and ran about like that for a while till it finally died.

Eventually it was launched off the cliff into the sea at Ty Croes Missile Testing Station as there was no scrapyard on the Island so the Army has sussed a way of losing unwanted cars.

Drag it to the top of the cliff, lean in and let the brake off and run alongside steering and remember to let go before it goes over...

Inevitably someone got it wrong and that was the end of losing cars that way.

 

Then he had a Raleigh Roma scooter to get to work on (somewhere I have a photo of me "riding" it).

 

There was a few years before he could afford a car again and his next car was a second hand Bedford HA van (there was some tax advantage to buying a van over a car at the time).

It did not have a rear seat, so I was just loose in the back on a rug or when we went a long way I might be allowed to sit on the AA Book bridging between the two seats.

Sister came along and that van was traded for another HA van which had a rear seat conversion fitted.

That van got crashed on Decimalisation day when someone going to the garage to get their indicators fixed turned right straight into him "Couldn't you see me indicating? Err...Oh!"

Dad's insurance company went bust before he could file the claim so the other driver wriggled out of paying for the damage.

 

We were abroad in Africa for a few years next and out there he bought a secondhand HB Viva.

We drove out on a dirt road to meet friends but with the potholes and washouts the car was scraping its underside at times and started running very poorly. We made it to the friends where Aden got it over his pit and was pleased to discover it had one of the local modifications fitted.

The part of the exhaust that flatted had been replaced with lead pipe held on with jubilee clips - slide it off, bash it open over the broom handle, slide it on, Job Jobbed!

Dad also used to get to use a number of the company's vehicles; Land Rover Series2A LWB Station Wagons, BMC J2 minibus (that the driver's door used to fly open on, on one occasion depositing the driver in the road and a hurried take over of control by one of the passengers), Big Datsun estate cars but by far the best was the Australian Ford Falcon Estate, straight six engine column shift bench seats & tailgate glass that dropped into the tailgate so you could have through flow ventilation when the front windows were open. It could sit at 100+mph all the way from Kabwe to Lusaka as long as nothing got in your way, like the wildlife crossing. One of Dad's workmates hit a baboon at speed in one of the Datsuns it nearly took the roof off the car.

 

Back in the UK he got a second hand Viva HC 2 door that rusted as fast as it went.

Then he got his first new car a Skoda 1100LS, that got replaced by a second hand Cortina Mk3 Estate that broke the Viva's record for rust and every time Mum locked the keys inside it she was able to borrow a passing Cortina Driver's keys to unlock it,

 

Then his luck improveded and the Cortina was traded for 18 month old Black AlfaSud Sprint Veloce that went like hot poop and I got to put my L plates on it!

[Ghosty]

As a child of the ‘90s and early 2000s my stories are of a slightly different hue.

When I was born my parents had a Mk2 Fiesta and a Capri 1.6 Laser. My dad coveted that and was a miserable bastard so I never got a ride in it to my knowledge. One time my dad sent the Capri in for some work on the diff. They forgot to refill it with oil, it seized up on the M60, and he sold it shortly after.

It was replaced by an early red K11 Micra auto for the mother and my dad had the dubious honour of driving a Mk2 Fiesta 1.1L for a further five years. The Micra didn’t last long as my mum has a dodgy knee and found the pedals to be way too offset. She replaced it with a sad face Fiesta 1.25 CVT.

After about three years with two automatic Fiestas, one that was cracking and one that was a bit miserable (Diamond White with lavender interior), the better one, the Mk2 got traded for a 190E. That was great. Except the bit where it was a 1.8 and slightly rubbish. Did serve us well though, such as taking us to my aunts in London. Only on the second attempt mind as my extemely clever parents thought it’d be a better idea to do a 450 mile round trip in a fully laden CVT Fiesta.

Which duly overheated halfway there, on fucking Christmas as well. I’ve no idea why they didn’t take the 190 in the first place.

The Fiesta was kept for about eight years, I’ve no idea why as it was crap and had the gearbox rebuilt twice in 60k (bought it on about 19k).

When it started to fuck up yet again in about 2008 it was duly PXd for an automatic 9N Polo, and around the same time the 190 started to show signs of HGF so it was also PXd, for an R reg Prelude. That was the end of any crap cars for us really, Old Man had a succession of Hondas and the A4 after that, and the mother ran the Polo for a bit, then moved on to Binis.

The 190 was a great car, and we all liked it (except my dad?), and we all loved the Fiesta Mk2. That just passed it’s useful life.

My aunt had a Mk2 Fiesta auto too, she got it at the same time and place as my mum in 1992. She kept hers until it rotted out in 2006 when she got an 03 Fiesta she still has. I hate that car.

[alf892]

Not mine but a mate of mine......

 

He always remembered family holidays....always camping.

 

Family transport was a bike and sidecar so his Dad would always take him first and drop him and the tent at the chosen destination

 

He would be left to put the tent up while dad made trips back to ferry the rest of the family there.

[mk2_craig]

J43880 was the orange Renner 14 TL in the little piccy on the left. Complete with black vinyl seats that got bastaad hot in summer. No radio fitted the whole time our family owned it. I managed to break off the window winder knob on the nsr door, Dad wasn't happy but never fixed that and the R14 was eventually part exed for a mk1 Uno in late 1985.

[Pillock]

Mr Mason, my primary school PE teacher, had a yellow Nova SR with the original plastic grille that had started to warp in the middle.

[Guest Hooli]

 

There was a few years before he could afford a car again and his next car was a second hand Bedford HA van (there was some tax advantage to buying a van over a car at the time).

 

From memory of some 1960/70s 'Small car' magazines I still have & need to reacquire from my parent's loft vans didn't get purchase tax (VAT) and there used to be kits to convert them to estates which worked out cheaper than buying an estate to start with.

[Negative Creep]

My Dad has a Sierra with a carphone, which to me was like something off the bridge of the Enterprise. I remember sitting there one day trying to dial home, but not understanding area codes kept getting through to some random person. i also recall him once going car shopping, me saying as we left that the salesman was really nice, and him replying that you should always wash your hand after they've shaken it.

[Junkman]

My mother's first 'trelle was a four light 6V 3 sp. bought used.

 

 

I was something like 5 or 6 years old at the time and took issue with the missing side windows.

So I knicked a few marker pens from her drawing board and drew some nice* pictures there.

 

Gated for two days. Meh.

[Chris2cv]

We had an array of cars over the years, few of which would be classics now,but I doubt many are still on the road.  I remember at one stage we had a Peugeot 505 estate - lovely old car, comfortable and did a lot of holidays and adventures, but utterly gutless. At the same time, my Uncle gave us his mini as he was unable to drive for some years (illness, not naughtiness) so we had this enormous barge of a car and the tiny little mini! Oddly, both were automatics, and I remember the Mini's "gearknob" coming off on several occasions while we were out. It also went through 3 speedos to my knowledge and so the 20,000 miles it showed when we sold it was rather unlikely to be correct! I saw it online last year and it has apparently done 10,000 miles in the last 20 years, so the problem probably continues! 

 

   We had a 1980 Cortina estate before the Peugeot, which was a lovely car, and very quick (compared with what we were used to) We ran it for around 8 years then the new owner crashed it within a few weeks. I think it survived as we think we have seen it several times since, but only from a distance.

 

   The Fiat Amigo camper was probably the most unusual, taking us on lots of holidays despite its tiny size. Used to have various problems and went on several AA trucks. Had to go when little sister opened the large sliding door several times on the motorway - no seat belts either!

 

   A Renault Savanna replaced the Peugeot and was a good car, a bit less space inside, but much faster. Used to go to Cornwall with roof box, bikes and sometimes a caravan but still kept going. This was my Dad's first Renault, now on his 4th, and we have 3 Dacias in the family! 

 

   Nearly forgot the Marina that bought me home when I was born! The first new car my parents had (1976) and the last one until 1994.This was apparently a great car (I don't remember as it went when I was about 4) until someone hit it badly. It was a borderline write off, but got repaired and was never the same, developing leaks (in and out) and my Dad lost confidence. How bad must the workshop have been if they couldn't build it as well as Morris?!

 

  There were others, a mini estate which was eventually swapped for a battery(!), Ford Anglia - very briefly, stolen for banger racing, and probably more. I am starting to see where I got my taste for old bangers!

[AnthonyG]

I remember being in my dads car when a chipping took the windscreen out, well crazed it all anyway - it must have had that ‘safety zone’ in front of the driver as I don’t remember him removing all the glass. I was about 5 at the time so the car would have been either an Austin 1800 or a Peugeot 504.

 

Since laminated screens become regular fit about 40 years this is another slice of motoring life you now only get in history books, unless you are an unlucky classic shite owner.