Tales from the crypt. NOW WITH VOL 2

[nacho man]

I just thought I would share a tale of a old car purchase to fellow car enthusiasts.

I was a bit Barry this morn and put in an order in for a roll cage to me made for my trophy. I was all excited and what not, and saved a picture on my laptop to send my bro as to what it will be like.

Upon finding this photo on my laptop to send on, I came across a random old scan of a motor I bought many moons back and giggled at the memories.

It was about 2002/3/4 ish. It was one of roughly 50/60 motors I have owned in my 32 years on this planet. I was at uni doing a course I would never finish.

Opposite my student flat which I paid 27 pounds per week for in a luxurious part of Sheffield was a fine second hand car emporium. I had already bought a few crocks off him and sold them on. Walking past one day I saw he had this bad boy.



Toyota supra 3.0 turbo. Auto. BLUE leather interior.

Only pic I have soz. Times before I phones were about and digital cameras that were affordable.

On a day it was snowing he chucked the trade plates in and I went for a drive. He didn't let me go far but I didn't take much notice. It seemed okay.

Monies were paid and it was about a day before we broke up for Xmas so I chucked my bags in and set off home. Which was only Notts, so an hour away max. It was a freezing day but never the less it started to overheat on the dual carriageway upto Chesterfield. Bugger. The gauge went into the red and I pulled over. I was cruising slowly as well, because of proper snow and rwd+turbo.

I was a proper shite hawk and had aa as I was always driving crocks. They came pretty soon and told me it had no water in it at all. He filled it up and it idled for 10/15 mins and didn't get hot, so he sent me on my way.

It made it onto the motorway were I could finally boot it as the road where a bit better. Well it missed and farted a bit but didn't really go that fast. Which was annoying. Just as I got home it started getting hot again. I dumped it at my mums and forgot about till the next day. I got up early with excitement to thrash it about, it had no water in it again, filled it up again and it took ages to fire, finally spluttering into life, I knew in my mind the hg had gone. There was no hope of a refund from the garage, you know the sort of place.

I carried on inspecting it, I was well happy when I found the pair of trade plates in the boot. These served me well for a good while never taxing a thing.

Went the factors bought some plugs to see if that would help it run better. Course it didn't. In fact the next few days it ran shitter and shitter boiling it's water up and away every 30 mins. I needed to get rid of this thing sharp ish.

Luckily the Nottingham evening post had a 190 in that said swop. Bonus! rang the fella up and told him the spiel about it running perfect and being near mint.

I met him at a tescos at night and I let him drive it around the car park saying it wasn't insured anymore so didn't want to let him drive it about to far.

This was the 190.



Note the same photo location which was my default place for a good while. (Stoke Bardolph church hall)

I had a quick drive and it seemed okay. I would of swapped for anything so wasn't too interested in it being concourse. The bloke seemed in a rush to get off so we signed the paperwork and off we went.

It was a 4 speed manual. 2.0 carb 190. With wind down windows. Think it was 90bhp odd.

I drove it home feeling smug and also a bit guilty, but you know.

Off I goes to put some petrol in it as there was literally nothing it in. Got to petrol station. Went to switch off, nothing, kept on running. Well that's odd. Turning the key would do nothing. So I stalled it. Went to take the key out and it was stuck. Oh. No amount of wiggling would get it out. So I left it in and went and paid for my tenners worth of juice. Went to start it and it turned over for about three hours before it bloody started. Here we go I thought. Good job the battery was a good un.

Got home and left the keys in it overnight. It only had one so you couldn't even lock the doors with the ignition key jn.

I went out in the morning to find a good amount of petrol on the floor. Got underneath and the return line had split. Walked to the factors and bought some fuel hose. Put too joiners in and bashed it together and that was fixed. Went to start it and it took forever again. Once it started though it ran okay. Apart from being dog slow.

I spent all day wiggling the key and eventually it came out. Luckily it was a old fashioned thing with no immobiliser so got a key cut for a few quid so least I could lock it. But once that ignition key was back in, it never came out ever again.

Think I had the carb off to clean it up and fitted some new plugs and leads and what not but it still wouldn't start within a minute. Hot or cold. I even scrabbled around getting a pump from a scrapper and fitting that to see if that cured it. It didn't. I gave up after that.

It was a proper heap really, slow and proper boat like in its driving characteristics. Not too long ago I had a good 190 with fuel injection and a auto box and that was lovely.

Swapped it for a Citroen zx, with no test. That went straight through and I had for ages. Got me hooked on French motors of that generation. It was a 1.9na dizzler, but rode and drove so well like they do.

Funnily enough I swapped the 190 with the dealer for the zx who sold me the crock of a supra, didn't tell him about the key, and kept the spare. He he he he.







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[Dirk Diggler]

It's a good story; a salient point being the 27 pound a week spent on reasonable student accommodation, and the fact that people can justify today's cost; when parents still earn the same or more likely less

 

When the bang hits the uk like it hit that man with the supra, it'll be painful

[nacho man]

27 gbp / week on student accomodation in 2002  in Sheffield 

 

i call bullshit 

 

UoS  1998- 2001

 

Lol it was Abbeyfield road above whats now a polish restaurant I think. It was a proper dive, was probably a two bed flat turned into a four single rooms. I lived on city rd after that near the top near the manor estate, had a astramax van and a primera gt with no gearbox stole from there. That was 180 a month for a room.

[sierraman]

Do you remember the old garage on city road about halfway down on the left hand side?

 

Or the house at the top of duke st that had a couple of old mk1 transits underneath what was possibly the worlds largest conifer tree?

[The Moog]

Do you remember the old garage on city road about halfway down on the left hand side?

 

Or the house at the top of duke st that had a couple of old mk1 transits underneath what was possibly the worlds largest conifer tree?

Is this like the colour of the door on the boat house at Hereford test?

[2MB]

But what colour is the boathouse at Hereford?

[Tamworthbay]

Great story, especially for anyone on here who looks at any info you put up on future cars sales. They will know you are more than happy to embellish more than a little.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

^^FFS talk about self-righteous, it was a great story man. Have a word with yourself.

[Hertz]

Cracking story thanks for sharing. I could only dream of buying and selling motors when I was at Uni, I was paying £50 a week in the desirable suburbs of Stoke on Trent (Shelton) in 1994 so you were doing well for 27 nicker a week!

[Tamworthbay]

^^FFS talk about self-righteous, it was a great story man. Have a word with yourself.

It's not being self righteous, I don't think fucking someone over with a dodgy motor is something to be proud of or laugh at. If being decent and honest has suddenly become self righteous then we are more fucked than I thought.

[Timewaster]

But the tale had its own built in karma.

 

Swop out a car with known problems dishonestly and end up with a car that has dishonestly undisclosed problems!

[nacho man]

Anyone wanna buy a car? guaranteed no problems. Meet you tonight in tescos car park.

[nacho man]

Part two now available.

 

Contains no dodgy selling of motor vehicles. Just a lilac jag and garage find scirocco.

 

These two have some good tales so I will tell them tales.

 

First off is this cracker.

 

 

It was bought by uncle in the 90's when they could picked up for a grand or so. He had it a while, never really went anywhere in it. It he fitted a replacement leather interior and generally tidied it up it up a bit though.

 

I can remember he bought a shite mk5 escort after that and used to make it squeal on every round about blaming it on the remoulds.

 

Then my grandad who has always had jags. Who is a proper character, old miner who is half metal as he was injured so many times in the pit, who walks around with a parrot called Pedro on his shoulder while smoking a pipe. Not the parrot, my grandad smoking the pipe.

 

Anyhow, he got hold of it. Ran it as a second car for a bit. Then one day my dad said grandad has gone France in the jag for the six week holidays, with my gran and my cousin in tow. Oh.

 

Completely out the blue he picked her up and they went on a jolly, cruising all around France. My gran and cousin sleeping in hotels while my grandad slept in the car the whole time, as he slept better in it apparently.

 

It never missed a beat for a good few thousand miles, he often says how it went hour after hour at 80 odd. He does like to exaggerate, so take that with a pinch of salt. They criss crossed most of France never staying in one place for more than a day. My gran sat there merrily watching the world go by reading women's weekly news the back while my cousin sat up front listening. To my grandad natter away.

 

My grandad says he took my cousin on this trip as her mum and dad had just split up and she needed a break, but I think he just wanted to drive and drive and drive.

 

He still does it now.

 

He bought a 626 Mazda after that trip for some reason and would often take us on rides putting it in fourth and going up steep hills trying to impress us. Look at it go kids. Yeah great grandad.

 

The jag sat on the drive for while, then it ran out of mot, my dad rescued it and ran it for a year or so. By this time it was getting a bit down at the dumps. So it went in to a old jag place called peatman and cox in Notts, it's actually not a jag specialist but I always thought it was. Had two new callipers a fuel pump, was given a good service and it ran well.

 

My old man often let me drive it around the industrial estates before I got my licence. Good times.

 

However he didn't use it. It was offered around the family but no one wanted it. Some Jamaican fella come and took it away for very little cash. It ran well and was pretty solid really.

 

 

I wish I would of had it, how friggin cool would it of been now!

 

 

Fast forward some minutes, hours, days and months.

 

I was in my prime car buying years. Scouting the local press I seen an ad for a scirocco.

 

It was located in a garage just of the ring road in Nottingham. The bloke was well into land rovers and it was his wife's, however she left him so it was stuck in there for a couple of years. I got it for £400 quid. It was a low mileage ish I think gtx, so had the injected 8v lump.

 

It was mint , I ruined it a bit my fitting front clear indicators and painting the rear lights all red and some German style plates as you did in the day. I did un Barry it a bit though. When I got it it was lowered on some apex springs and it rode awful, was proper crashy and skipped everywhere. I fitted new dampers and oe springs and after that it drove and handled brill. Apart from being a bit lacklustre that is, a year or so before I had a mk2 golf gti with the same lump in and that was a little flying machine. This was not.

 

I did my first ever cambelt on this. As I thought it might be timing has I had pretty much replaced all serviceable items. It was a peach of a engine to work on. A pretty big bay with lots of room. This made no difference, so next I bought a dizzy and you could manually adjust it. Still the same.

 

Then one Friday night after being let home for the weekend in my army training, it was flat out, four up, going home when it dropped a valve.

 

It was towed home and I bought a 16v golf gti, while this was shipped off to a local garage who fitted me a recon head and what not.

 

Fast forward a bit of time and I went Canada for a few months on a training exercise, and my mums white a reg sierra 1.6L was stolen. So being a good son I lent her this till she was sorted.

 

I came back to find the rear bumper all scraped and a big old dent in the door.

 

 

She said it wasn't her on both counts but you can't be mad at your old dear can you. She replaced the sierra with the shape before the g40 shape polo, forgot what there called.

 

I didn't really need it so sold it to a mate, he was only 18/19 and his army wages pretty much went on insuring it. Sure it was 3/4K a year.

 

He had the worst luck with it.

Overheated one night on his way home.

 

Then a brake pipe burst and he went straight over the middle of a round about.

 

Then he fitted a amp and speakers in the back. He then wired a fancy head unit in.

 

It set on fire outside his house one day.

 

And that was the end of that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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[Six-cylinder]

The XJ6 has not had an MOT since 2008.

[nacho man]

The XJ6 has not had an MOT since 2008.

 

If it popped up on Ebay it would be on my drive.

[nacho man]

Also there is me saying it was solid LOL MOT HISTORY. 

[Six-cylinder]

I had not looked at the MOT history but you can't really tell from that how bad it was.

 

It caught my interest because outside my window is parked the ex RobT 1976 P reg S2, nearly in full working order but we have stripped the thread on the oil pressure gauge sender adaptor.

[Guest Hooli]

That XJ6 is a thing of beauty

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Is this like the colour of the door on the boat house at Hereford test?

I think you'll find its Hurrford not Hereford.

I love that the director and everyone else was so scared or in awe of Bobby they didn't correct him.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

It's not being self righteous, I don't think fucking someone over with a dodgy motor is something to be proud of or laugh at. If being decent and honest has suddenly become self righteous then we are more fucked than I thought.

 

Wind yer neck in man, its just a story of Shite Karma, you buy an old heap off a shonky dealer and its got hidden problems, you manage to palm it off on someone else, only to find your new motor has hidden problems of its own. Its just old cars man, we've all got a story like that somewhere. 'OMG UR TEH DISHONEST CRIMINAL' - horse shit.

[sierraman]

They used to do Jags in a similar colour except it was a pale pink colour called heather.

[Tamworthbay]

Wind yer neck in man, its just a story of Shite Karma, you buy an old heap off a shonky dealer and its got hidden problems, you manage to palm it off on someone else, only to find your new motor has hidden problems of its own. Its just old cars man, we've all got a story like that somewhere. 'OMG UR TEH DISHONEST CRIMINAL' - horse shit.

Wind your neck in? How about, fuck off, it's my opinion, I am entitled to it, if you don't like it, Tough shit, it ain't going to change because you think it's ok to pass shit off on other people.

[cort16]

There is something entertaining about the fact both of you drove off thinking "sucker" then you couldn't get the key out the car and he overheated .

Both of you so desperate to offload their heaps neither one checked the others car properly .

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Yeah that's what I think, you got me alright. Well done!

[garbaldy]

Thanks OP Great read and brings back some memories of some dodgy motors I've been lumbered with.

 

I could write a book on the amount of crap deals I've made, just this Monday I was called up and given two cars, Tues this changed into only one was available now, then they decided to keep them both on wed, yesterday they then wanted four hundred for the pair, this morning it's back to one at a hundred pounds, fooking Womblefuckers.

[cort16]

I know I was daft, many times getting stung then going back for more! I bought a Lancia Delta 1.3 with half the front bumper missing from a dodgy east end garage. This was pre-ebay so no chance of finding a bumper. The handling was awful and on further inspection it out all the strut tops had disintegrated.

I took it back to the same garage and PX'd the Lancia for a 1.6 Sierra. Within a month it had a blown then head gasket and one of the windows fell out on the motorway. Pity as it was otherwise quite tidy.

[sierraman]

I'd say 75% of people have sold a car that's got something chronic up with it. Wouldn't sell something that was fucked in here though, if there was something up with it I'd put it in the ad.

 

The problem is I keep cars until they fall apart. By the time I move them on they are hanging. The exception was the Red Mondeo I sold of Fatha Sierras. Wish I'd kept it in a way as my own car went tits up a month later. Just didn't have the space to keep it at the time. That's fucking Karma for you!!

[Timewaster]

You see this is why if I buy a cheap heap to run about in, I always buy something horrible that is for sale because nobody wants it rather than something smart they want rid of because it is knackered.

Recent mot fails are good. My friendly tester used to get cars dumped on him when they failed to cover the bill.

There were some right bargains to be had for £50, a tyre and a patch or two.

[sierraman]

A relation sold her 2000 Corsa diesel for £100 when it failed the test on the rear hangers. Didn't sound much of s bargain to me. By the time you've spent all the time doing a fairly Labour intensive unpleasant job, you've a £300 Corsa. Probably didn't take into account everything else that was up with it.

[xtriple]

Back in the day, I have to admit I sold some right dodgy old shit (no 'e') that was scraped through the MOT, quick coat of polish and if the paint was really bad, keep it wet when a punter was expected! Just washed so it's gleaming for you...

 

However, It used to really upset me doing this even though the need for cash to feed the lad, pay the rent and get the electric board of my back did sort of justify it. Sort of... As soon as I had more than a tenner in my pocket I used to try and make everything as good as possible, even real cheap shite (with an 'e') and do all the little jobs as well as the big ones. I am just unhappy selling crap, I'd rather give it away or scrap it/sell it as spares. Can't help myself, it's an illness I tell you.

 

However, it frequently bites me in the bum as, we tend to ascribe the same mores and morals to others as we have ourselves, so I am always amazed when some other shady bastard lies to me, even now when I KNOW full well that all buyers are liars and all dealers are con merchants. Still I can sleep at night (well, I can't, but it's not flogging a dodgy heap that stops me   ) ...