My journey through tat in 2016

[JohnDeere]

I reckon it's a racy little Corsa Coupe Tigra

[wuvvum]

Going so far off topic here that I could be called a Twix - what ever happened to Nick?

I miss his tales.

 

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Minor update - today with the arrival of this:

 

And some of this:

 

Two shock absorbers and a shit ton of vulgarizing later this was the result:

 

No amount of autoglym will fix this:

 

[They_all_do_that_sir]

So with my mates BMW ready for MOT I turned my attention to the focus of this thread.

 

So on route to the MIL's house the car was located. Chanced my arm and tried the key - turned over, caught and briefly started! Tried again but the battery is dead.

 

Opened the bonnet and there is no water, mayo under the oil cap and very little in the sump.

 

I think it's suffered OMGHGF and seized - after sitting a few days its cooled down, unseized and should run me home with oil and water.....

 

It was mega busy and its parked on a one way street so collectioning will have to wait.

 

I'm going to return either late tonight or very early tomorrow armed with oil, water and jump leads plus day Insurance.....

 

Wcpgw?

[loserone]

PICS OR...

[They_all_do_that_sir]

PICS OR...

I know I know

[NorfolkNWeigh]

They_all_do_that _sir managing* a Vauxhall driver,yesterday.

[skattrd]

Ooh, I'd forgotten about that film, I shall watch it later ... me likee Ms. Gyllenhaal

[They_all_do_that_sir]

image.jpg

They_all_do_that _sir managing* a Vauxhall driver,yesterday.

A while since I've seen that, great film

[The Moog]

thankfully its not that exact one. Having said that mine might be worse.......

 

collectioning has been planned for tomorrow. Father will be in attendance with a shonky tow rope. I hope* to get it started but towing is likely to be on the cards.

 

To save any calamity ill tow it to my grans house which is only around the corner (ish!)

 

I do have a message to run up that way later with SWMBO so I might try and find it tonight, and chance starting it.

 

Any ideas for cheap day insurance?

RAC is ace for day insurance. About £30 or less without breakdown

[They_all_do_that_sir]

So some progress. This morning started well

 

Some stuff gathered

 

 

Off we go

 

Essential fluids added

 

Oil, water and petrol added, we attached jump leads and it just turned over and over and over

 

Didnt even try and fire.

 

My mate had somewhere to be so we retreated, I'll return later with a row rope.

 

Any ideas on non starting? I didn't check for spark or anything

[EssDeeWon]

 

Any ideas on non starting? I didn't check for spark or anything

 

1. Its a vauxhall

2. Its fucked

3. Its been owned by a bird

 

Good luck tho sir, i cannot work out what it is from the engine bay pic

[They_all_do_that_sir]

I've collected this! First actual collection thread of ever for me!

 

Bear with me though because:

 

1) the photos are CRAP because using old phone due to breakage of new phone

 

2) no pez shot

 

So yesterday afternoon dad met me at the Agila, complete with our family heirloom tow rope - my granda used to work in a ropeworks...

 

Here dad is, hooking the rope up to his focus

 

And after some pretty hairy towing home in rush hour traffic here it is parked up on dad's drive

 

[They_all_do_that_sir]

It's not terrible, but its not great either.

 

On the plus side its got a years MOT and four good tyres, and mechanically it seems sound enough

 

However

 

It wont start - we tried tow starting it but no joy. My money is on the crank position sensor which is common on this engine apparently.

 

The windscreen seal is gone

 

It's leaking oil

 

It has a lot of mayo under the cap and was pretty low on coolant

 

Next step is to fit a crank sensor, if that gets it running I can drive it to my own house and get it tidied up.

 

According to the bootlid its actually a "auxhall Aga 1.2"

 

My wife's always wanted an Aga but I can't see her wanting this in the kitchen

[garbaldy]

According to the bootlid its actually a "auxhall Aga 1.2"

 

My wife's always wanted an Aga but I can't see her wanting this in the kitchen

Tell your wife that Aga,s are proper shite and that the auxhall is cheeper to run and won't burn her cakes.

[brownnova]

Complete with valuable* private plate!!

 

Good luck getting it going!

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Complete with valuable* private plate!!

 

Good luck getting it going!

 

I'm in Northern Ireland, so unfortunately its nothing special here, otherwise I could charge MEGA BUCKS come sale time

[spartacus]

'Managed', that's the best! From now on I won't have girlfriends, just birds I've 'managed'.

Good luck with the aga.

[Lord Sterling]

Yo, these Agilas aren't too bad, nice colour, nicer than faded Red.

 

Ma's neighbour had two, the first one, a Green one lunched it's own engine, something to do with the timing chain which snapped I think.

 

Second one was a Silver bought locally. Can't remember what happened to it but I think I remember having to tow it to a local Vauxhall dealership with the Micra. Fun.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

It has potential - so far it's cost me £10 for some cheap oil, a gallon of pez and 5ltrs of Tesco's finest bottled water.

 

I'm going ahead and buying a crank sensor, another £10 because I'm convinced that's all it needs to start. It deffo has oil mixing with water, but if its not major HGF I might just bung some K seal in.

 

Gasket kit is around £60. Replacement engine around £150 and I think she's ran this one without oil so.....

 

I've also been offered a 307 with borked electrics and a snagged clutch. Oh and there's a grim looking mk4 Disastra pez that's sat up the road with no bumper and a wonk bonnet - I'm tempted to whack a note through the door but suspect if its sat this long they want more than scrap money. What's the usual etiquette here?

[Pillock]

I'm in Northern Ireland, so unfortunately its nothing special here, otherwise I could charge MEGA BUCKS come sale time

You bloody Northern Irish, too much money! Every single one of you running around with a private plate.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

You bloody Northern Irish, too much money! Every single one of you running around with a private plate.

 

​that's what we've been spending the block grant on! Swings and roundabouts though, chod over here is way more expensive

[eddyramrod]

It was free, how much more expensive do you want????

[anonymous user]

Good luck with the aga.

Probably find she'd been putting the wrong coal in it, they go much better with anthracite pellets

[For Fiats Sake]

From the age of 11 until I left home at 17 I was woken by my dad rattling the ashes through our "aga" alike every morning.  It sounded like someone was firing a gatling gun in the kitchen.

 

I have a soft spot in the head as I quite like Suzuki Wagon R+ or even a Diahatsu Move.

 

Agila just sounds like an Lidl version of Mexican spirit based drink though.

[They_all_do_that_sir]

From the age of 11 until I left home at 17 I was woken by my dad rattling the ashes through our "aga" alike every morning.  It sounded like someone was firing a gatling gun in the kitchen.

 

I have a soft spot in the head as I quite like Suzuki Wagon R+ or even a Diahatsu Move.

 

Agila just sounds like an Lidl version of Mexican spirit based drink though.

 

Its like they couldn't quite bring themselves to call it "Agile"

 

Part of me wonders what it would be like if I binned the ecoshite lump and stuck a bike engine in the boot????

 

 

It was free, how much more expensive do you want????

 

Well there is that. But fixed and tidied this should fetch around 4-500 which is probably double the money it would fetch on the mainland?

[They_all_do_that_sir]

​another minor update.

 

My dad is obviously thrilled at having this disgusting car on his drive. So much so he insisted on leaving work early today, knowing I was off, and encouraged me to try and get the Aga running.

 

On the way down I ended up £12 lighter after picking up a crank position sensor, as I was convinced this was to blame:

 

 

What an absolute BALLS to fit. Its located just above / behind the drivers side driveshaft gaiter where it meets the gearbox.

 

As I was CONVINCED this was the culprit, obviously I hadn't done any basic checks for spark, fuel etc etc beforehand. Imagine my shock* when after fitting the new part the car again just turned over and over until the battery died.

 

Cock.

 

It was now getting dark so I called it a day. Have some more pictures for your viewing pleasure:

 

the powerhouse

 

 

 

Marvel at the tiny brake disc!

 

 

I thought I had struck gold in Dad's garage but alas its not the same style as the other 3 on the car (bonus points if you can name the car the steering wheel came from)

 

 

And finally being lacking in the head hair department, having a Mohawk is something I could only dream of. Until now that is - now I have FOUR Mohawks! They all look pretty new too, excited to see how amazing they aren't.

 

 

So until next time, when I will stop pretending I'm some mystic mechanical guru and just get on with diagnosing the non starting properly using the good old process of elimination.

 

Total spent so far - £22.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[scaryoldcortina]

No oil or water left in? Driven until it stopped?

 

Never running again is my guess.

[xtriple]

Triumph steering wheel?

[They_all_do_that_sir]

No oil or water left in? Driven until it stopped?

 

Never running again is my guess.

Much like the Laguna mk2, the agila is so hopeless I want to see it run again, even if that means a replacement ecoshite finds its way here...