New Shite Magazine launched

[strangeangel]

A magazine with that many wankermobiles on the cover is well outside my sphere of interest, I'm afraid.

[sierraman]

At the end of the day everyone likes what they like, I'm sure someday someone will be there restoring Clio Sports. It doesn't get my nob wet but each to their own.

[lincolndanny]

Look at the member levels alone on cliosport.net, passionford.com, Saxperience etc to see that there should be a good audience for this mag. Remember we are the minority here guys... (though compared to the forums mentioned, we seem to get along alot better....)

[Bear]

I'll give it a go. It's the practical side of shit in magazines I like. Changing a clutch or something. This is where Car Mechanics has gone awry for me, I couldn't give a fuck about an article on testing £2,500 worth of diagnostic software... Yawn!

 

That said its good when it does the buyers guides though they are probably the best bit for me.

 

Here's an interesting thing though - when I've looked at where I could potentially offer value to readers in CM (yet to find the right thing, as the one I did want to do I concluded I couldn't. Objectively, whilst the whole "look, you can fix your pixel-broken dash!" seemed like a great DIY, you can post the thing off and have it sorted for £39. I couldn't recommend DIY taking four hours and costing £35 in parts.

 

Anyway - where the value is, is in explaining to people how to delve into the electronics. It's where cars go wrong. Electronics and emissions. Few of the "spares or repair" cars you see have terminal mechanical problems, they have issues due to misunderstanding how the systems interact. If my SLK had gone to a dealer or specialist they'd have charged over £800 to repair the few age related issues it had; it needed three hours of informed time and about £140 in parts.

 

It didn't take me three hours. Or cost as little as £140 in my case. But that's why we write - we edit the mistakes out and give the reader the knowledge we had to learn. Now I can say if you get a supercharged Mercedes around 100,000 miles, the most important quick check you can do is to check for oil in the intakes, and how to fix it properly.

 

What we can't do in a commercial publication is say "Go here, buy this thing for £50 on eBay, now download this REALLY DODGY SOFTWARE, then do these things." - Mercedes Star/Xentry is very expensive. Carsoft is quite expensive. A £50 MUX serial/diagnostic box and hooky, out of date Carsoft is entirely usable, but it cannot be the focus of an article.

 

So a test has to be a £2,500 Autel, and (if I wrote it) it would brush over the box in 200 words, and the rest would be about understanding not only how to read a trouble code, but what it really means - which means understanding what the car expects. Otherwise down that rabbit hole lies replacing EVERY duff sensor and module implicated, instead of say, resoldering a Honda relay (or Mercedes K40!) or replacing a failed voltage regulator component in an ECU.

 

Fortunately, we can come and ramble about this stuff on forums. And I'm happy for anyone nearby to come and run their Mercedes through my 99p-on-eBay touchscreen PC and Mercedes/BMW software setup if they need to prod it (not sure even if the BMW stuff is that dodgy, it seems entirely legit apart from the parts guide that runs in a VMware box).

[Slappy]

Who's Keith?

 

Oh, err, Keith Adams. Occasional poster on here. I think it was through AROnline that I found this place, so I have a lot to be thankful for.

[robinmasters]

If I'm they're target market, they're fucked. If I read it, it'll be in Smiths. Without paying for it. Fortunately for them, if they're having to reel punters in with all that shiny, showy off stuff on the cover, I'm definitely not their target audience.

 

Good luck to them though, there definitely is a market for it, but the 'that magazine'/autoshite Venn diagram probably doesn't have a huge middle bit.

[barefoot]

Bought a copy, read it.

It's missing the humour of Jalopy and I'd really like to read about something a bit more ordinary.

Some of the prices in the small ads made my eyes water a bit though.

[tooSavvy]

Yeah, but there is no Skoda the Scrapyard Dog either.

 

Any of our budding artists want to bring him back?

..... 'Just tooSavvy - on another plane[t]'.

 

Happy to model for a sharp pencil twirler & I'd be wearing my tinfoil hat, promise

 

 

TS

[kadams1970]

Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It was a hard job getting it made, but I'm glad I did. And generally, the early feedback has been very positive indeed.

 

Truth be told, as much as I'd like to relaunch Jalopy in an Autoshite-style magazine, we can't make the numbers add up in terms of sales or advertising. And I think you'd all understand that - it might work by an indie publisher, with one guy putting it together, with lots of reader stuff (as was the case with Jalopy), but for us, in the current market, it's a tough sell. But in truth, who needs a new magazine to replace Jalopy when Autoshite provides such a brilliant public service as it is? 

 

But there will be shite in my new mag (as Hirsh spotted); it's just that it won't all be about that, or its main focus.

 

K

[UltraWomble]

Ordered a copy online as I cant find a copy locally.

[Justin Case]

I have actually bought it at the weekend and read it right through. I quite like it, a good selection of cars although of course one of their target markets is the advertisers so the content is bound to reflect that. The one thing that grates is the constant reference to values* and particularly 'investment potential'(ugh.) I want to read about cars that I may possibly or more probably never buy, the history, technical side, driving and what its like to own one; I'm not a bit interested in what it's worth, only what it is and what it does. And why two pages of adverts for ridiculously over-priced watches which I'm sure 99% of readers haven't the slightest interest in. Minor but signicant gripes which mean I only give it 7 1/2 out of 10 instead of the 9 it would get otherwise.

[skattrd]

So the Activa is still alive?

[brickwall]

It will be okay if there are at least some shite sections and bargain bin areas in the mag. It also depends on the quality of the advertisers.

[kadams1970]

The Xantia is very much still alive. It had a page in the mag...

[MrDuke]

And why two pages of adverts for ridiculously over-priced watches which I'm sure 99% of readers Autoshite members haven't the slightest interest in.

 

 

FTFY 

 

The adverts are paying the bills as far as the publishers are concerned, and I suspect that the kind of person who's in the market for their teenage dream machine would see such wrist-based monstrosities as part of the package.

 

I'll deffo order a copy (no chance of finding it in the provinces) as despite appearing to be way too up-market, I suspect it'll end up in roughly the 'right' area. Judging it by the front cover is kinda dumb really - the whole point of the cover (especially on the early issues) is to put the most attention-grabbing features up there, not the most affordable or practical.

[Junkman]

I love expensive watches.

[Timewaster]

Ordered with my local newsagent. Will report back.

[xtriple]

I love  watches. I've got about 60! Some of them are worth more than my car!
 Most of them are worth less than a KitKat! Old Timex's are fantastic!

[Bear]

Watches are a funny thing. I like Swatches, have always done, and an original LCD digital stainless Casio, and binary ones, but I've never gone into the watches that are expensive just to be expensive. It's a tie between Casio and TAG for the most expensive thing I've put on my wrist, and the TAG Heuer one was the plastic F1 which was an 18th birthday present. It is worn smooth, scratched to hell from years being forced into inaccessible parts of Citroëns, and as I couldn't get a new plastic strip in black, it has a blue one. The Casio surprised me, because as a big heavy case watch I didn't think I'd wear it, and I do a lot of the time. Partly because it does dual time zones well, and partly because it uses bluetooth to tell if I have unread messages without looking at the phone.

That's where it ends, though - if it does something really cool or useful, and I can afford it, I'll want it. If it exists as a means to tell people I've spent a lot on watch, but doesn't do anything else over and above a reasonably well-made chronograph/digital/calculator watch, don't care.

 

Anyway. The advertising doesn't always reflect the demographic of a title, but put it this way - if you look at an advert for an expensive watch and aren't interested because you can't afford or justify it right now, but actually you really like how it looks/what it does and if you won the lottery/got a ridiculous bonus/new job with insane pay you'd buy it, then that's what the advert is for. It's so when you can afford one, you're aware of the brand and design. And the advertisers don't mind too much if you don't buy the brand, because part of the brand is making everyone aware how rare, expensive and desirable that watch is, so that when someone does buy it for those reasons, everyone knows... and so on.

 

Another way of looking at it: An alien lands and sees a Dacia Duster 4x4 in high spec and a Mercedes GLA in high spec. One costs almost £30,000 more (fully loaded examples of each). Explain to the alien why these silly earthlings choose the Mercedes.

 

FWIW when I win the lottery I'm getting a Nixie tube watch. They're incredibly expensive, but I don't care about that. Anyone who would need it explaining also wouldn't get it. But the people that look at it and go "Bloody hell, is that a Nixie tube watch?!" - they're my kinda people.

 

(Binary watch suffices, plus is hilarious* to use when people ask "Have you got the time mate?" and you just hold it out to them. Next phrase is usually "how the fuck do you tell the time on that" before they ask someone else).

[Tamworthbay]

Watches are a funny thing. I like Swatches, have always done, and an original LCD digital stainless Casio, and binary ones, but I've never gone into the watches that are expensive just to be expensive. It's a tie between Casio and TAG for the most expensive thing I've put on my wrist, and the TAG Heuer one was the plastic F1 which was an 18th birthday present. It is worn smooth, scratched to hell from years being forced into inaccessible parts of Citroëns, and as I couldn't get a new plastic strip in black, it has a blue one. The Casio surprised me, because as a big heavy case watch I didn't think I'd wear it, and I do a lot of the time. Partly because it does dual time zones well, and partly because it uses bluetooth to tell if I have unread messages without looking at the phone.

That's where it ends, though - if it does something really cool or useful, and I can afford it, I'll want it. If it exists as a means to tell people I've spent a lot on watch, but doesn't do anything else over and above a reasonably well-made chronograph/digital/calculator watch, don't care.

 

Anyway. The advertising doesn't always reflect the demographic of a title, but put it this way - if you look at an advert for an expensive watch and aren't interested because you can't afford or justify it right now, but actually you really like how it looks/what it does and if you won the lottery/got a ridiculous bonus/new job with insane pay you'd buy it, then that's what the advert is for. It's so when you can afford one, you're aware of the brand and design. And the advertisers don't mind too much if you don't buy the brand, because part of the brand is making everyone aware how rare, expensive and desirable that watch is, so that when someone does buy it for those reasons, everyone knows... and so on.

 

Another way of looking at it: An alien lands and sees a Dacia Duster 4x4 in high spec and a Mercedes GLA in high spec. One costs almost £30,000 more (fully loaded examples of each). Explain to the alien why these silly earthlings choose the Mercedes.

 

FWIW when I win the lottery I'm getting a Nixie tube watch. They're incredibly expensive, but I don't care about that. I doubt anyone who would need it explaining also wouldn't get it. But the people that look at it and go "Bloody hell, is that a Nixie tube watch?!" - they're my kinda people.

 

(Binary watch suffices, plus is hilarious* to use when people ask "Have you got the time mate?" and you just hold it out to them. Next phrase is usually "how the fuck do you tell the time on that" before they ask someone else).

and remember there are only 10 sorts of people, those who understand binary and those who don't.

[chaseracer]

^ Proof that there is intelligent life in Tamworth!

 

Says the bloke who lives in Cannock...   

[Tamworthbay]

^ Proof that there is intelligent life in Tamworth!

 

Says the bloke who lives in Cannock...   

don't do yourself down you must be intelligent, after all,it's not easy to type with webbed fingers

[Richard]

I like expensive watches too, I paid over £20 for the 90s Seiko I wear.

 

I've been looking for this magazine but haven't found the right newsagent yet. The last one I looked in had all the gun magazines you could want but only about two car mags.

[brownnova]

Looks to me that what most of us are advocating (me included) is a bit more lower end content to go with the shiny sports cars. This would, I think, widen the mag's appeal. (I must have missed the Xantia bit on my quick thumb thro) There's a huge about of potential in this mag I reckon. I like to read some good car journalism to go alongside my consumption of excellent car banter* on AS.

It has to be said fair play to you both Keith and Richard for coming on to hear the feedback, takes balls that does!



*(Banter in the traditional, 300 year old, dictionary sense of the word not the chavvy teenage meaning)

[Skizzer]

I might give it a go, on the basis that Keith is a very fine fellow indeed and that has to count for something.  (RichardK too.)

 

I've just finally got around to cancelling my sub to Classic and Sports Car, which has been going largely unread for months (apart from an irritating piece in July about how XJ-Ss aren't as crap as they've been saying for the last 40 years).  I'm sick of paying for Buckley to drive his dream cars and write with tedious pomposity about it, yet another gushing piece cover piece about Lotus Elises/MGBs/E-Types, and being told £20k for a scabby BMW E30 is good value.  The staff cars are more our thing, but there's precious little about them except for the annual outing that's full of cringe-inducing in-jokes.

 

Mostly though, I'm happy with dipping into back issues of CAR from the 1980s and the occasional Craptical Classics when I'm on a long train journey.

 

Edit:  And Classic Car Buyer, obv.  Sorry Dugong.

[chaseracer]

don't do yourself down you must be intelligent, after all,it's not easy to type with webbed fingers

 

It is when you've got seven on each hand! 

[dugong]

Primarily the reason I don't really buy old car magazines is that I feel like they've not usually got anything to tell me I don't already know, as well-known information regarding popular cars will be regurgitated over and over. I know MGB owners like to read about MGBs and I've no idea why - I'm pretty sure everything to say about MGBs has been said a hundred times. But they do.

Because advertising, dear boy. That's why.

[Junkman]

No magazine sightage in Stockport yet. Am I the only one in town who can read?

[Junkman]

I have actually bought it at the weekend and read it right through. I quite like it, a good selection of cars although of course one of their target markets is the advertisers so the content is bound to reflect that. The one thing that grates is the constant reference to values* and particularly 'investment potential'(ugh.) I want to read about cars that I may possibly or more probably never buy, the history, technical side, driving and what its like to own one; I'm not a bit interested in what it's worth, only what it is and what it does. And why two pages of adverts for ridiculously over-priced watches which I'm sure 99% of readers haven't the slightest interest in. Minor but signicant gripes which mean I only give it 7 1/2 out of 10 instead of the 9 it would get otherwise.

 

What about spares?

Why do I never read in a classic car magazine, that those replacement parts made in China are just 100% pure unadulterated shit?

Last time I changed the sparkle plugs on the Rover, it turned into a V7. Replaced the culprit plug with an old one, and it ran fine. Replaced it again with a new, new one, and it ran fine.

So one out of eight new plugs is useless.

Condensers. Maybe one out of three actually works properly. How about those carburetter floats, that are guaranteed to sink after being exposed to what they call petrol nowadays for a Month? Gaskets that don't seal, oil seals that don't stuff, thermostats that don't open, points that wear within ten minutes, plug leads that don't conduct electrickery, radiator hoses that can't handle hot water, bulbs that don't emit light, and on, and on, and on.

 

A friend of mine ordered a batch of SBC oil filters, because he only had one AC-Delco left. Despite them being advertised as ACs, he received Frams made in Taiwan.

He weighed them on his postal scale, they are about 60 grams lighter than the genuine article.

 

That Chinese rubbish isn't worth the boxes it's packed into. Someone oughta publish that!

[dugong]

I'd love if a magazine made a special effort - even if just a few pages an issue - to tell us something not readily available. Something about the day-to-day of an FSO dealer back then, the development story of the Vectra B, that time Isuzu inexplicably entered the Aska Turbo in the RAC rally (I think). If I don't know much about it, it's immensely more interesting to me even outside of my immediate interests. I know I'm in a minority though.

I write about obscure guff all the time. I think the repetition of familiar content is a version of regulated difference. People will happily watch action films with the same basic plot so they know what to expect (even though the details are different). There's also readership demographics who like what they know and know what they like.

 

What about spares?

 

That Chinese rubbish isn't worth the boxes it's packed into. Someone oughta publish that!

I have, on several occasions, because most of the repro Amazon parts are shockingly bad. Geely will not have helped with this. Readers have complained as well.

 

I haven't forgotten about the 'other thing' either; I will make time for it.