Bentley Turbo R total shite! Now, Brooklands 'R' turbo shite....

[Christine]

It says RIOT X too 

[stripped fred]

Thanks for the write up. Enjoy reading how the other half live! If only all owners lavished as much love and attention on their cars, me included.

[xtriple]

It says RIOT X too 

I know! It was part of my 'cunning plan' that if I choose to do something (even) sillier later, I could mispace the letters and make that!

[xtriple]

Thanks for the write up. Enjoy reading how the other half live! If only all owners lavished as much love and attention on their cars, me included.

I can't help it! OCD means nothing can be wrong for long! It is a fucking pain to be honest, normal stuff drives me crazy and HAS to be fixed pronto! The back window is currently driving me mad and I only found out about it today. If the weather is halfway decent tomorrow (and I feel halfway human!) the back door will be in a million bits with expensive components strewn around the area.

 

Also got a new aerial and a load of new relays to fit - the old ones are a bit discoloured and I 'think' one of them is dodgy!

[SiC]

I can't help it! OCD means nothing can be wrong for long! It is a fucking pain to be honest, normal stuff drives me crazy and HAS to be fixed pronto!

You really couldn't own a French car.

[xtriple]

 

 

 

 

 

 

[xtriple]

And that folks, is what we did last night! There are loads more (of course) and some only for the Mag....

 

Also just been up to the garage, moved a few things around and the old girl fits in dead easy so she is spending her first night in her warm and cosy home!

[trigger]

They look great!

[xtriple]

Mark complained bitterly that the one of the interior is out of focus because the car was running and shaking slightly! Looks good to me, but what do I know?

 

Just the bootlid to sort out and she's finished until the next thing breaks! It does seem to be never ending with this car, but, it is so lovely to drive, it makes it all worth it.... I think?

[beko1987]

I think I could forgive it for falling apart every month if it looked like that!

[Cheggers]

Gaaahhhh...All I want to do is straighten the steering wheel 🙄

[Guest Lord Sward]

Aye, which mag?

 

Looks excellent.

[Jim Bell]

Got to be a porn mag coz it gives me the aching horn.

[danthecapriman]

Those photos are fantastic. The cars looking bloody great too.

[xtriple]

It's for a photography magazine. When I get a copy I'll post its name 'cos I've forgotten already! The same one that Phoebe and Chester were in (with a few pictures of me as well - yuck!) the editor is a mate.

[dome]

I'm saving those photos for a, er, private moment of reflection...

[xtriple]

I shall drag this back up to the front page (were it will disappear from in minutes    ) and update the thread... may as well as it's the only cheap thing to do with this old sod!

 

Having got it looking gorgeous, the radio sorted out, aerial, and all the other bits and pieces there was nothing else irking me other than the starting problem which had foxed the best... I went up to our local garage and had the tyres blown up and the bastard refused to start! It was sat right in their entrance and blocking entry and exit, no one was best pleased. So I booked it in with them to have a look at the starter/wiring to same and anything else they could look at/change.

 

They were going to ring me with a time and date to bring it in, I'm still waiting... So it went to Specialist cars with instructions to check/clean the cables to the starter, change the other relays that are hidden and I have no idea where and anything else they could think of to get the bastard to start RELIABLY!

 

After a week, Paul rang to say he was bringing it back: they checked all the wiring, checked the starter, changed various relays and really couldn't find anything wrong, and at no time had the car refused to start. The little bitch!

 

Fine, so I am stuck with a car that randomly refuses to turn over - always in the most embarrassing places - and I have to wait between 30 seconds and 1/4 of an hour before it will start. Great...

 

Then, about 4:00 pm Paul rang to say 'Great news; she won't start!' So the planned return was delayed... Craig (the actual mechanic/technician/master magician) did a whole load of checks and 'thought' it could be the actual ignition switch box because if he kept the key turned hard over, after a minute or so, it would suddenly fire up. So that was removed and sent away to be tested. As that involved removing the dashboard, I got a new clock from Flying Spares (or Westminster, not sure) and had them fit that (two screws, one connection, so probably about £100 labour   ) but when the starter switch ecu came back it was : 'No fault found' ... bollocks.

 

However, the people who tested the ecu gave them a few more things to check/test. One of which was the alarm/immobiliser/cdl ECU but as that is buried deep within the bowels of the dash itself which requires the dash top as well as the front to come off, was the last thing to look at. Of course, everything else was fine so it all had to be stripped right down and this ecu sent away for testing... Apparently, the easiest way to do this job is to take the windscreen out!

 

7 weeks later it returned with just the note: 'Various faults found'. So it was re-installed, and tested (the old key now wouldn't work, new key wouldn't fit, hybrid had to be made from the two! ) over about four days. They tried everything to get it to misbehave, and it didn't so it came home last Friday. I have equally tested it/tried it in all the situations where it used to 'fuck around' and it has been fine... so far. I still don't trust it and sort of expect it to fall at some hurdle, but so far, so good!

 

The bill was fairly eye watering (as usual) but did include them rebuilding my fob for the remote lock/alarm as that was faulty as well. Oh, and Paul says that my offside front tyre is cracking between the treads and it's due for a service in less than a month and the MOT may as well be done then as well....

[mrbenn]

Fair play to you. Its a lovely looking thing but I don't know how you've got the patience!

[danthecapriman]

I suppose this is why a lot of the older Rollers and Bentleys get stripped for spares instead of being fixed. That one of yours must be amongst the best now after all that!

I know it's a huge amount of money to spend but it's all worth it just to have such a car.

[purplebargeken]

All of this 'specialist car fixing malarky and cost' scares the shit out of me and it isn't even my car.

[Laseraligningfoofooflanges]

Good god that is gorgeous 8)

[xtriple]

Yeah, it has been an 'eye opening' experience owning a Bentley! I suppose if I could live with faults, it would be okay - I could have just had the brakes bled and new pads (which it REALLY needed) and still enjoyed the experience. But, knowing that there was all sorts wrong with it, did my head in! This is why there is such a HUGE disparity in prices you see these sods advertised for: a car that has had no maintenance will bankrupt you, no question. This one had been sadly neglected and has, pretty much worn out my debit card single handedly!

 

A sobering (frightening really) thought is: I could have bought outright a couple of year old Jaguar/BMW/Merc for what I have spent on overdue maintenance!

 

But, for some unknown reason a Brooklands 'R' was always the one I wanted. Yes, a Turbo 'R' was a good substitute and as there are so few Brookie 'R's about (only 79 made and a lot went overseas) and the other one chose the exact moment to go 'BANG!' that this popped up for sale, it seemed like 'serendipity'. Of course, it probably wasn't and just pure bad luck....

 

It is now as close to 'spot-on' as it is possible to make it. So from here on, it should be just routine maintenance - budget about 2 grand a year for this I am reliably informed! Right now it needs: a new front tyre (loads of tread but cracking) and I'd really like it to have a matched set. Not Avons as they are 'old hat' (and about £400 each!) now but a set of Michelins would be rather nice (anyone else get excited by new tyres?) and I think the viscous fan is on the way out! I am tempted to get a thermostatic control for the twin electric fans that never come on and use them - I reckon they'd look really cool spinning away in front of the rad?

 

One thing I have found is the sheer number of people that talk to you when out in this car. What's more, no nasty comments (so far) just people really keen on the old thing. The other thing is the amount of people that think it is MUCH older than it is - it's newer than my MX5 for Gods sake yet they look decades apart. Everybody laughs when they see a big green Bentley rolling down the road especially when there's a slobbery dog with his head hanging out of the window... usually one either side!

 

Dog slobber. Don't know if it's Basset hound drool, what I feed/water them or just modern shit paint, but if I don't wipe the drool off pretty quickly in this heat, it seems to etch into the paint and then needs 'T' cut, polish and all sorts to get off. I am now carrying a damp leather around in the car and wipe the door tops (outside) everytime I stop! I must look an even bigger know than usual.

[bub2006]

Xtriple I admire what you are doing. You must have bollocks like space hoppers

[xtriple]

Xtriple I admire what you are doing. You must have bollocks like space hoppers

No, I just borrow the dogs!

 

I should just add: there is nothing (or not much anyway) that a keen/talented amateur bodger can't do him/herself. they are beautifully made and a lot of the tech is really old fashioned so makes sense to luddites like me, and look at Panhard, he  can do it all on his. A few years ago I would have tried to do everything to this car myself, but now, well, I changed the plugs and that took me three days to recover from! I have stripped out one door (simple, straight forward just LOTS of fasteners a few hidden) and had the dashboard out and a few other simple jobs, so I wouldn't be daunted at owning one of these and wrenching myself. I also reckon it would be a truly fun and fascinating thing to work on as just looking at parts diagrams makes it clear that Rolls Royce don't do things the same as everyone else, which MUST make it more fun to fiddle with surely? I am just doing it the 'easy' way and getting specialists to do all the work for me.

 

I would prefer to do it myself... if only I could

[gordonbennet]

Christ i'd love to have something so olde Englande handsome to waft about in but it would frighten me to death, and not just maintaining it.

 

Maybe its different in the Devon/Cornish riviera but the bastards round here can't even get their fat arses or their brats out of their car without denting or scraping my old Cruiser, they'd shoot their load damaging that fine car.

[xtriple]

I thought I'd update this as it was a long time ago that I did!

 

 

This was her as she appeared on the cover of issue 4 of 'The Spirit' which is the official mag of the RRandB owners club (I am not even a member!     )

 

Where did we leave off? Was I bankrupt yet? Oh I remember, it was when she had just had HUGE amounts of dosh thrown at her in an attempt to make her reliable. Do I really need to say 'it didn;t feckin work!'? She was still intermittantly not starting and after visits to two auto electricians it was finally fixed after she spent 10 weeks at the specialists while every ecu/relay/electrical item was checked out. It was the ecu for the alarm/immobiliser/cdl. A month later she was back in for a service and MOT... oh and new tyres as the old ones had cracked (new Michelins all round) so I spent £3K in 5 weeks,

 

 

She got used for a couple of photoshoots, the one above is an arty farty thing I never liked!

 

 

 

After all the money spent did seem to turn her reliable(ish) I thought I'd throw good money after bad and bought genuine Mulliner wing vents at a ridiculous price (but I wanted them!) and had them painted and fitted...

 

 

Finished...

 

 

Some research got done Via the Hunt House (RR archive) and it turned out her first owner was a Scottish chap with a career in American racing! All the families cars had been painted in 'Brewster green' and as this would be the last of the British cars owned by them, it was specially ordered again. This is why the paint code number makes sense to no one as Bentley is now under the control of the dreaded VW and they don't really give a shit about the old cars so finding anythng out from them is very hit and miss.

 

The car was supplied with the standard light pressure turbo but was found to be lacking in oomph so was returned to the factory to have the intercooler and related ECU fitted (it goes in the centre of the 'V') which boosts power from 300/450 to 325/500 which is ... enough! Not quite sure what engine I had in my first Turbo R but I think it was the 326HP engine so this is as powerful as that car but with much better fuel economy.

 

Speaking of which, it does 14mpg around town which is a lot better than the older car - 9mpg! On a run it gets into the mid 20s!

 

Since the last big spend, it's had new tyres, new brake hoses (£300 for 2 hoses!) new turbo oil return pipes, fan belts (£300 plus fitting!) new old stock original stereo (£900) those vents (£2K which is stupid but hey, I am!) and a whole host of other stuff I can't remember (or rather, I am trying to forget!) and it is currently, running really rather well I can honestly say: there is NOTHING wrong with it at the moment - obviously I am touching wood and crossing fingers madly when I say that!  I don't think there are many SZ cars out there in such good mechanical order and it pleases my OCD to have it in good order - I hate faults!

 

 

[Dan_ZTT]

I have to admit I don't understand the vent thing, but everything else about this is amazing. I had seen this car mentioned elsewhere on these pages but not seen the full thread before, top work sir.

[purplebargeken]

Amazing car but fuck me, what an expense list.

[Saabnut]

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, cheap about Bentley ownership! The cheapest thing is probably buying it in the first place. I have lost count of how much I have spent on my Turbo engined T2 , certainly several times the purchase price! At least it has been reliable, oh, wait.........

 

Actually my first statement may be inaccurate - when I get home my first job is to pop to the post office to change the tax class to historic so it will have free tax. whoo hoo.

[xtriple]

No RRandB ownership is NOT cheap, they reckon on £2K a year on maintenance with a BIG bill every 5 years as that's when it needs hydraulics servicing. That price is assuming that you have got a sorted one... sorting one will bankrupt you without even breaking a sweat! Prices for these old dollops are firming up. Sure, you can still get a sheddy early one for £3K but realistically, all you are doing is buying trouble. Cheap ones aren't worth the money!  A decent one depends on year/series with the late cars being the most expensive, there's one the same as mine (with lower mileage) up locally for £35K but 20 -28K is more realistic. Even then, it would not be an easy sale - who wants a 20 year old car that will cripple you with bills every few months?

 

Most people with the cash would rather have a newer VW version as they are 'flashier' and look like you have money. In truth, they will kill your wallet even faster and they are not reliable or well built (at least the early - up to 2008 - cars) but there is the discerning few (     ) who appreciate the olde worlde charm of these old ladies and they are quite desirable to those in the know. Sadly, most of those in the know already have one!

 

if I knew then what I know now about buying and running one of these, I would have thought longer and harder about it. Of course, I would STILL have bought one (two) as I am stupid and always know best!

 

What are they like to own/drive?

 

Well, bloody epic is the answer! Ownership is a doubled edged sword with the parts prices and total lack of any source of parts except from the dealers or Bentley themselves but they are just great to drive. They look like they should be slow old barges, wallowing around the place, slowly and carefully. The truth is rather different as they can lift their skirts and fly and cornering is out of this world, truly they absolutely defy physics because nothing this big and heavy should be able to corner so flat and composed!  I love driving along at a steady speed when I know there's a severe corner coming up with a boy racer or an Audi right up my arse because I'm doing the speed limit. When the corner appears, my car just goes round it as if it's not there, without slowing or even really taking any notice while BR or Audi disappears in the rear view mirror The suspension, brakes and steering are just other worldly and worth the money alone (he says with a gentle sob!).

 

It's other great party trick is to have someone right p your arse expecting you to be slow, and instead you give a slightly harder press on the throttle (perhaps 30%) and without making a sound or showing any sign of effort, it just romps away, the way these things can gather speed is fantastic and with the rev counter never going above 2000 rpm.