Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Dobloseven]

11 hours ago, sierraman said:

Bosch pump and the Jets. 

His real name is Veg Dwight!

[warren t claim]

The band Stealers Wheel got their name after Joe Egan was caught stealing Jaguar wheels from the Browns Lane factory. The police dropped the charges after Joe got his brother John, who ran the factory at the time, to say that he'd given Joe permission to store 100 pepperpot alloys in his garage to stockpile in the event of a strike at the GKN factory.

[DavidB]

Section 11.9 of the Haynes Manual for the 2007 - 2013  Mini is titled "Writing An Effective Suicide Note" (rated at three spanners).

Section 11.10 advises of slashing wrists the correct way (vertically instead of horizontally as it will produce more blood) (two spanners).

These sections directly follow the 11.8 "1.4/1.6 Engine Troubleshooting" section.

[DavidB]

For the new remake of the film 'It', the face of the clown 'Pennywise', was swapped for either a 2024 BMW iX xDrive50 or 2024 BMW 7 Series 760i depending on his current mood.

[warren t claim]

5 hours ago, DavidB said:

Section 11.9 of the Haynes Manual for the 2007 - 2013  Mini is titled "Writing An Effective Suicide Note" (rated at three spanners).

Section 11.10 advises of slashing wrists the correct way (vertically instead of horizontally as it will produce more blood) (two spanners).

These sections directly follow the 11.8 "1.4/1.6 Engine Troubleshooting" section.

 

[Talbot]

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

[Dobloseven]

20 hours ago, Talbot said:

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

Another proposed derivative was aimed at horsey types.It had raised suspension,wheel arch extensions,bigger wheels,with all weather tyres, plastic underbody protection and a factory fitted towbar.With a whopping 750 kg towing capacity,it was capable of pulling a small Ifor Williams with a miniature horse in it.Was to be called the Giddy Up!

[MiniMinorMk3]

On 05/01/2025 at 18:56, Talbot said:

During market reasarch that Vokswagen undertook while deciding the name for their new supermini, a brief collaboration was considered with the reminants of British layland for a special edition VW UP! sold in Yorkshire only with an A-series engine, advertised as the VW A-UP!  This eagerly awaited special edition was eventually cancelled due to VW engineers eventually realising that despite their best efforts* not only was there very little chance of the engine meeting modern emissions levels, but the vehicle would be unlikely to be able to climb even the most modest hills in the target county.

VW were, however, pleased that they had carried on a tradition of wasting an absolute fucktonne of cash attempting to develop a new car to use the A-series engine, only for it to be a complete and utter failure.   Industry specialists noted that VW had not done a "proper job" of this, as they had discovered that the vehicle would be an utter heap of shit prior to selling 200,000 of them to the unsuspecting general public, which would have been more in keeping with the tradition.

A spokesperson from VW was overheard saying "why didn't we just sell them the 1.2TDI engine?  That's just as slow and sounds equally terrible".  Their marketing manager replying that "actually, that's what we did in the end."

 

23 hours ago, Dobloseven said:

Another proposed derivative was aimed at horsey types.It had raised suspension,wheel arch extensions,bigger wheels,with all weather tyres, plastic underbody protection and a factory fitted towbar.With a whopping 750 kg towing capacity,it was capable of pulling a small Ifor Williams with a miniature horse in it.Was to be called the Giddy Up!

There was also going to be an MPV version with three rows of seats called the 7-Up.

[DavidB]

Removing the chain cover of any Prince engined BMW Mini reveals this looping animated GIF inside the wheel arch.

[lesapandre]

On 07/01/2025 at 15:38, MiniMinorMk3 said:

 

There was also going to be an MPV version with three rows of seats called the 7-Up.

Special Edition called the Snow White.

[MiniMinorMk3]

16 hours ago, lesapandre said:

Special Edition called the Snow White.

Which one would get left behind?

[New POD]

11 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Which one would get left behind?

Seven in Snow White. Oh er madam.. 

[MiniMinorMk3]

18 minutes ago, New POD said:

Seven in Snow White. Oh er madam.. 

Snow White plus seven equals eight. I think you should sit at the front of the class and stop sniggering at the back.

[New POD]

6 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Snow White plus seven equals eight. I think you should sit at the front of the class and stop sniggering at the back.

I thought the "Snow white" was a metaphor for the car in which seven dwarfs* travelled. 

*are we allowed to say dwarfs? I can use "adult none gender specific people who are in the shortest decile for height"  

 

[High Jetter]

11 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Which one would get left behind?

What about the right behind?

[ProgRocker]

The BMC 18-22 series was given that name in reference to Leviticus 18-22 from the old testament. 

[Metal Guru]

On 11/03/2025 at 12:06, ProgRocker said:

The BMC 18-22 series was given that name in reference to Leviticus 18-22 from the old testament. 

Sorry that’s incorrect. It is in fact the time that the night shift stoped work. The management had gone home by 6, so they gave it another 20 minutes or so, before they downed tools.

[quicksilver]

Italian styling legend Panini Farina, flushed with success after selling the exact same design both to BMC as the Mostin Oxbridge and to Peugeot as the Error 404, tried to repeat the same trick a few years later when British Leyland was looking to replace the Oxbridge. This time his other target was Toyota, which wanted to give its new mid-size saloon a more European look. Sadly this time round both manufacturers got wise to his cunning plan and not only rejected his proposal but delivered a further insult by giving their in-house designs names that rhymed with his, thus creating the Morris Marina and the Toyota Carina.

[Dobloseven]

9 hours ago, JeeExEll said:

Alex Issigonis's Mk1 Lotus Cortina daily- driver for 10 years in which he competed road rallies and was then stored at the Gaydon Motor Museum for several years has resurfaced on a Jonny Smith TV prog.

The suspension used a revolutionary springing medium, known as "steel" that one day all cars would use.Alex Moulton was most impressed and helped his mate to lower it and fit anti tramp bars at the back.

[Dobloseven]

Our automotive pride and joys are under siege from the nations wildlife.Squirrels stuffing air intakes with nuts,mice gnawing through wiring,foxes biting through brake hoses.And now premium German brands are having the model numbers torn from their boot lids,falling prey to de-badgers.

[DavidB]

Neneh Cherry was such a huge fan of the Nissan Cherry she named herself after it, she was also a massive fan of Wayne Cherry, who also designed the car, and was also her father. She also lost her cherry in a Nissan cherry, to the singer Eagle Eye Cherry, who may or may not be her brother, who knows.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, DavidB said:

Neneh Cherry was such a huge fan of the Nissan Cherry she named herself after it, she was also a massive fan of Wayne Cherry, who also designed the car, and was also her father. She also lost her cherry in a Nissan cherry, to the singer Eagle Eye Cherry, who may or may not be her brother, who knows.

The charity of Cherry Aid should not be overlooked too.