First Middle Lane Hugger to be Executed in Public

[Pete-M]

Lane hogs should be banned from driving. Simple.

 

First offence - £100 fine, 3 pts.

Second offence- £1000 fine, 9 pts

Third offence - £10,000 fine, lifetime ban.

[New POD]

It must be the Me, that's at fault, on the A50, between Stoke and Derby, because this morning I actually undertook 5 vehicles, all of which had been given ample time to move back to the inside lane.

 

Maybe I don't make my intentions clear enough.  There is nothing in the inside lane, the speed limit is 70, they are doing 60, I am doing erm 0.8 leptons squared (to coin a pistonheads reference), and have tried various none aggressive and aggressive tactics, to try to OVERtake.

 

The steaming in and Braking hard option. (If they ever looked in their mirror they'd see how fast I'd been travelling)

The right indicator option (A clear wynnar in Germany)

The headlight flash (NEVER works)

The turn my headlights off Option (It was daylight, I thought the lights going off might help them realise I was there)

The move to inside lane and indicate right option. (For the van driver, I thought this might assist him in knowing I was there)

The start to undertake slowly, and see if they notice, but don't actually fully undertake.

The sit and wait and hope option.

 

Then there's the fuck this, into 3rd, redline the old diesel, go past on the left, into the right lane, and 1 minute of washer fluid option.

 

Highly illegal, nuns, cats and small babies will die if you get this one wrong, and I'd NEVER do anything so selfish.

[sheffcortinacentre]

& if one of them had a dash cam you'd have been done & not them!!

 

a lorry driver was recently done on the M1 for undertakeing in the cone storeage area due to a middle lane hogger doing 45 & not moveing over to allow him to overtake at 50 even though the ingrate could've used the 3rd lane.

[Asimo]

What is wrong with "undertaking"? I mean, practically, I know it is prohibited on British Motorways.

There doesn't seem to be any problem with passing on either side on U.S. freeways. Works a treat for them, why not for us?

[Lacquer Peel]

Jumping the queue.*

[forddeliveryboy]

  On 13/07/2015 at 21:17, New POD said:

It must be the Me, that's at fault, on the A50, between Stoke and Derby, because this morning I actually undertook 5 vehicles, all of which had been given ample time to move back to the inside lane.

 

Maybe I don't make my intentions clear enough.  There is nothing in the inside lane, the speed limit is 70, they are doing 60, I am doing erm 0.8 leptons squared (to coin a pistonheads reference), and have tried various none aggressive and aggressive tactics, to try to OVERtake.

 

Then there's the fuck this, into 3rd, redline the old diesel, go past on the left, into the right lane, and 1 minute of washer fluid option.

 

More imposing car required, but not too inyerface or ugly - it's surprising how different cars have hugely different effects on many drivers. Women seem to repsond to a totally different set of inputs, though. Yesterday on the way to Chester, one was obviously reacting to man in passenger seat who pointed out she was doing 65 in the outside lane when the middle lane was free of obstructing traffic. I bet she gave him the cold shoulder later.

 

Others (esp women) seem to become apopleptic if you're exceeding 70mph by even 1%, yet some have the Piston Heads syndrome. Used to love getting past them in faster* 2cvs. Usually a beautiful large car works best. Perhaps they simply want to see who's driving it?

 

W126 Mercs seem to work well, as do Citroën CXs and DS. The little MGF is surprisingly good at shifting stuff, too - dunno why. Things like Subaru Foresters are often totally ignored. Larger Audis, in general, are surprisingly good hog shifters. Even the old A6s from the mid-90s I use.

 

BMWs and red cars have always proved the worst to be driving if wanting to shift lane hogs.

[bub2006]

For some reason the vectra gets noticed and folk move out the way. What are old vecs classed as nowadays? Giffer, sink estate drug runner? Who knows!

[cort1977]

'Undertaking' is not illegal as such.   There is highway code rule 268 which says it is permissible if traffic is moving significantly slower in the right lane.  

 

Highway Code - 268

Do not overtake on the left or move to a lane on your left to overtake. In congested conditions, where adjacent lanes of traffic are moving at similar speeds, traffic in left-hand lanes may sometimes be moving faster than traffic to the right. In these conditions, you may keep up with the traffic in your lane even if this means passing traffic in the lane to your right. Do not weave in and out of lanes to overtake

 

Not sure that this is intended to allow undertaking at speed but there is no law or rule that specifically forbids it in the UK.   People are convinced that there is though.   You could easily argue that most motorways are sufficiently congested that it is permissible nearly all the time.   Just don't argue that in court based on what some random on the internet says.   I do it but carefully because people sometimes go apeshlt.   

 

Not that I would ever hold up US roads as an example but it is customary over here and doesn't seem to cause more than the usual chaos.

[Cavcraft]

What's being done about the increasing amount of self important toss posts who hog the third lane of the motorway like it's their own piece of land?

[purplebargeken]

I'm going to buy a big old Volvo - 940 estate. Remove the bumpers, fit scaffolding pole instead and paint it matt black. I'll just ram them out of the way   

[Richard]

  On 07/07/2015 at 12:37, Vin said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlcbIxdmnaU

 

That's pretty much what happened to the SVM on the way home from SF14. Luckily there wasn't a car transporter behind, just more Volvos.

[Mr Lobster]

I notice the middle lane hogger more at weekends. Very frequently this summer I have been heading back up the M6 of a late Sunday afternoon and the number of people sitting in the middle lane seems to be getting bigger.

 

Given I'm in a big van you can clear them out of the way but its easier and quicker to just sail up the inside lane and pass them. Most carry on in the middle lane regardless, one or two then wake up and pull in but not many.

[Vin]

I always understood 'undertaking' to be when you leave the lane you're in to pass somebody in that lane on the left and then pull back into the lane in front of them...

 

If you stay in the inside lane and end up passing traffic on your right you haven't 'undertaken' anything as it isn't in your lane...

 

Also, it's surprising at the number of people who think 60 mph is the NSL on a dual carriageway...

[purplebargeken]

Jeezus, I hope the cops tasered that fecking idiot in the blue car just for the sheer hell of it. What a complete bellend and an almost suicidal thing to do. 

[Richard]

I believe there was a domestic going on in the car and the driver thought it would be a good idea to stop, which is exactly what was happening in the Mazda 2 that nearly wiped out the SVM.

[martc]

  On 13/07/2015 at 22:52, forddeliveryboy said:

Larger Audis, in general, are surprisingly good hog shifters.

 

That's because everyone* knows that Audis are driven by very important people.

[CHRIS1980]

  On 14/07/2015 at 05:23, Cavcraft said:

What's being done about the increasing amount of self important toss posts who hog the third lane of the motorway like it's their own piece of land?

When I become prime minister I will hang them from the lights that line the motorway as an example.

[CHRIS1980]

Also, it's surprising at the number of people who think 60 mph is the NSL on a dual carriageway...

 

Boils my piss does that!

[Skizzer]

  On 14/07/2015 at 02:57, cort1977 said:

'Undertaking' is not illegal as such.   There is highway code rule 268 which says it is permissible if traffic is moving significantly slower in the right lane.  

 

Highway Code - 268

Do not overtake on the left or move to a lane on your left to overtake. In congested conditions, where adjacent lanes of traffic are moving at similar speeds, traffic in left-hand lanes may sometimes be moving faster than traffic to the right. In these conditions, you may keep up with the traffic in your lane even if this means passing traffic in the lane to your right. Do not weave in and out of lanes to overtake

 

Not sure that this is intended to allow undertaking at speed 

 

Of course it isn't.  Undertaking at speed is fucking dangerous.

 

Fairly frequently on the M4 I've pulled back into lane 2 after overtaking, legally, to find some utter twat merging into the same space at 85mph+, in my blind spot, after undertaking in lane 1.  Undertaking is fucking stupid driving and I hope you don't seriously think otherwise.

 

Much swearing because you've made me angry.

[dollywobbler]

I'll concede. I do undertake, but only at a speed slightly higher than the car I'm undertaking - and I shit myself for the entire duration, half-expecting them to suddenly swerve across into my lane. I don't move into the left hand lane to do this, but if they're in the middle going slower than me in the left-hand lane, then tough titty. People who swerve all over the sodding road (M25 particularly 'good' for this) are a bloody nuisance. 

[Mr Lobster]

This ^^ I'll undertake someone if they are (and have been for a while) in lane 2 and dawdling, I'm in lane 1 and they don't show any sign of (ever) moving over and if I'm in a van. In a car its easier to just go round them.

[Pete-M]

If I'm in the left lane and some dizzy swine is in the middle or right hand lane dawdling I'll just stay in L1 at my normal speed. If that means undertaking then so be it.

 

I've just driven from Liverpool to Bristol and the standard of motorway driving in this country is appalling. White vans doing 80 in the 50 bits near Stoke on Toast, middle lane hogs on the M5, and a succession of arseholes who think it's perfectly reasonable to pull into L3 in front of faster moving traffic and sit there at 65 mph with no intention of either speeding up or moving back over.

 

I'm a polite driver, but this morning I'd have happily used a rocket launcher on the bellend in the brown Insignia who considered 58 mph to be a reasonable speed to trundle down the 'fast' lane of an otherwise empty M5. Fucker was there for at least 5 miles with about 80 cars behind him. I passed him in L1, he looked a bit irate about it

[cms206]

I'll sit all day at 70mph in lane one without batting an eyelid, it's often the only empty lane. I think my record was 18 or 19 cars without leaving lane one on the M8 one evening just between Glasgow Airport and Helen Street, all of about 3 miles.

 

As a coachist I tend not to "undertake" in lane one but ultimately although I can do a legal 70mph I can't use lane three. I've been known to just sit on an all but empty motorway behind some fucknugget doing 40mph in the middle with headlights, foglights and main beams on. Not proud of it but I have managed to get cars tugged by traffic on more than one occasion when they pull alongside me to see why I'm sitting on an all but empty motorway at 45mph in the middle lane.

[CHRIS1980]

  On 14/07/2015 at 13:35, Pete-M said:

If I'm in the left lane and some dizzy swine is in the middle or right hand lane dawdling I'll just stay in L1 at my normal speed. If that means undertaking then so be it.

I've just driven from Liverpool to Bristol and the standard of motorway driving in this country is appalling. White vans doing 80 in the 50 bits near Stoke on Toast, middle lane hogs on the M5, and a succession of arseholes who think it's perfectly reasonable to pull into L3 in front of faster moving traffic and sit there at 65 mph with no intention of either speeding up or moving back over.

I'm a polite driver, but this morning I'd have happily used a rocket launcher on the bellend in the brown Insignia who considered 58 mph to be a reasonable speed to trundle down the 'fast' lane of an otherwise empty M5. Fucker was there for at least 5 miles with about 80 cars behind him. I passed him in L1, he looked a bit irate about it

This where stinger missiles behind the headlights 007 style would be handy. Just imagine that insignia flailing around in a panic stricken ball of fire banging off the crash barriers and grinding to a halt after you fired one of them off....ah bliss.

[cort1977]

  On 14/07/2015 at 12:53, Skizzer said:

Of course it isn't.  Undertaking at speed is fucking dangerous.

 

Fairly frequently on the M4 I've pulled back into lane 2 after overtaking, legally, to find some utter twat merging into the same space at 85mph+, in my blind spot, after undertaking in lane 1.  Undertaking is fucking stupid driving and I hope you don't seriously think otherwise.

 

Much swearing because you've made me angry.

 

I do think otherwise and I just don't agree.   As others said above I'm not talking about swerving around and changing lanes repeatedly, should have been more clear.   I'm talking about when there are a whole bunch of twats in lane 3 lining up to get past some dawdler in lane 2 and no one in lane 3.   Do I pull across 3 lanes, tailgate the back of the line in Lane 1 to stop some twat pulling in front of me and wait to get past?   Or do I go past them at 70 in Lane 1 keeping a careful eye on them for random swerves?

 

'Undertaking' is quite common in a lot of places, never understand why it is such a big deal in the UK.

[Skizzer]

God forbid you might have to wait your turn to pass, along with everybody else.  You're still going to meet the people who are passing legally in lane 3 as they pull back to the left, and they won't be expecting you to come up at speed on their blind side.

 

In the US, where undertaking is legal and normal, people are watching out for this.  Here, and in most (all?) of the rest of Europe, they aren't, which is why it's dangerous and stupid.

 

I'm not talking about continuous lanes of solid traffic moving at different speeds - clearly if lane 1 is just a faster moving queue, you don't have to slow down to the speed of the slowest lane to your right.

 

Anyway, good luck with it.

[chaseracer]

There is a point being missed here.  If Fucknugget wasn't hogging the middle lane at nmph under the limit, "undertaking" wouldn't be an issue...

[doobietoo]

When I was a lot younger I used to deliver cars for a living and picked up a rather nice sierra cossie from a land far, far away, obviously not in the uk...... my mate was a little pissed as he picked the lotus to drive home and got a silly little FWD sports car.... on the way home we passed a car doing 50mph in the middle lane of a completely empty motorway ah those were the days. We stopped for coffee at the services and decided to "have some fun" if we caught up with him... We duly did and blatted past him at nearly 3 time his speed one either side.... After we passed him he pulled into the first lane... Oh how we laughed...

Life was better then etc.

[panhard65]

  On 14/07/2015 at 17:11, doobietoo said:

When I was a lot younger I used to deliver cars for a living and picked up a rather nice sierra cossie from a land far, far away, obviously not in the uk...... my mate was a little pissed as he picked the lotus to drive home and got a silly little FWD sports car.... on the way home we passed a car doing 50mph in the middle lane of a completely empty motorway ah those were the days. We stopped for coffee at the services and decided to "have some fun" if we caught up with him... We duly did and blatted past him at nearly 3 time his speed one either side.... After we passed him he pulled into the first lane... Oh how we laughed...

Life was better then etc.

I once might of been on a section of motorway that has 4 lanes just north of cambridge early one morning in my Maserati. I was in lane 1 when I undertook some muppet in lane 4. I might of been doing 140 ish and he still didn't move over after. Lane hogging seems to be a traditional English thing as it rarely happens in the rest of Europe.

[New POD]

  On 14/07/2015 at 07:17, Vin said:

 

 

Also, it's surprising at the number of people who think 60 mph is the NSL on a dual carriageway...and believe that their speedometer is highly accurate, not realising that they are actually doing 55 in a 70. Doh

 

I finished your sentence.