Calling SVM - My neighbour gave me this, I don't even have a Volvo 240...

[Matt]

My elderly neighbour phoned earlier and said that he found a Volvo manual in his house and that he thought I would know best what to do with it so brought it down to me. I was expecting a Haynes manual or something similar..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What it actually seems to be is a full blown main dealer service manual dated January 1981. It's got twenty something manuals for things ranging from the differences between the pre and post facelift 240, technical manuals for engines, gearboxes, rear end, suspension, wiring and body repairs (including chassis leg replacement and application of vinyl to the roof of 262's!).

 

Should this even be out in the wild? 

What on earth should I do with it?

[Uncle Jimmy]

Stick it in a jiffy and send it to me for a mutually beneficial fee?

[Noel Tidybeard]

you should charge all the svm £10 to stroke the cover

[Cavcraft]

The wipe clean cover.

[Felly Magic]

That is the SVM Bible!

[Matt]

Stick it in a jiffy and send it to me for a mutually beneficial fee?

 

Bid me.

 

you should charge all the svm £10 to stroke the cover

 

£15 or £20 for a lick?

 

That is the SVM Bible!

So I must be some kind of god for possessing it? I feel the power...

[rml2345]

THE HOLY BOOK HAS BEEN FOUND!

I bet it would make very interesting reading for anyone who likes Volvos actually.

[Alan_Green]

It is loose leaf.  It can be scanned and PDF'd very easily and then everyone who wants a copy can have a copy. I have suitable scanners here.  Send it and I'll do it in 10 mins.

Edit - Quick Google. They are already done:   http://www.volvotips.com/index.php/240-260/volvo-240-260-service-manual/

[chaseracer]

THE HOLY BOOK HAS BEEN FOUND!

I bet it would make very interesting reading for anyone who likes Volvos actually.

So I must be some kind of god for possessing it? I feel the power...

Quick Google. They are already done:   http://www.volvotips.com/index.php/240-260/volvo-240-260-service-manual/

 

[Matt]

It is loose leaf.  It can be scanned and PDF'd very easily and then everyone who a copy can have a copy. I have suitable scanners here.  Send it and I'll do it in 10 mins.

Edit - Quick Google. They are already done:   http://www.volvotips.com/index.php/240-260/volvo-240-260-service-manual/

You have to install some shitty chrome add on to see them, fuck that.

[HillmanImp]

You have to install some shitty chrome add on to see them, fuck that.

 

This is Autoshite, we love shitty chrome. We leave the polished chrome to the MG owners club.

[fordperv]

 

So I must be some kind of god for possessing it? I feel the power...

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy.

 

Can you study it then go on mastermind with the volvo 240 as your specialist subject

[Alan_Green]

You have to install some shitty chrome add on to see them, fuck that.

Bummer. Can't you see them?  I use Chrome and only have Adblock Plus as an extension. Nothing else. What error message do you see? Presumaly these would be useful so we should sort this.  I see this sort of thing:

[steve_earwig]

Firefox is showing it ok via adobie's itch flash player for me (none of that Google "oh dear, where did my bandwidth go?" Chrome nonsense here)

[cms206]

Firefox is showing it ok via adobie's itch flash player for me (none of that Google "oh dear, where did my bandwidth go?" Chrome nonsense here)

+1 for Firefox and AdBlock Plus.

 

Also Matt, you have been gifted a holy book. This is a prophecy. It also means you must immediately sell all your worldly automobiles and purchase a 240 estate which should be treated with great reverence and should be held as superior to all other automobiles in all respects, especially in the holy road test areas of Ikea, Sheep Rustling, Fly Tipping and Dogging. Doing so will grant unto you eternal meatballs.

 

This is the word of Gabrielsson, thanks be to Volvo.

[beko1987]

Have to say if my neighbour gave me this book I would look upon it as a sign a d sell the zx and buy a 240...

 

And I've never really thought of a Volvo in that way before!

[Luckythirteen]

If I'd been given that, I'd be travelling round, attempting to test the Volvo-magnetism theory. Keep it in a lead lined box, go somewhere, open the box and see how many Volvos appear.

If true, I'd be expecting it's maximum efficacy to be somewhere in the M8 corridor.

[Matt]

+1 for Firefox and AdBlock Plus.

 

Also Matt, you have been gifted a holy book. This is a prophecy. It also means you must immediately sell all your worldly automobiles and purchase a 240 estate which should be treated with great reverence and should be held as superior to all other automobiles in all respects, especially in the holy road test areas of Ikea, Sheep Rustling, Fly Tipping and Dogging. Doing so will grant unto you eternal meatballs.

 

This is the word of Gabrielsson, thanks be to Volvo.

 

I didn't see anything before turning AdBlock Plus off and when I did it prompted me to install the add-on. As for 240 ownership they really don't come up for sale around here very often although there are a few about that only seem to get used in the winter. That said I'm probably going to go and chap on the door of the house at which this fine* beauty* resides late next week. WCPGW etc etc.

 

 

 

Have to say if my neighbour gave me this book I would look upon it as a sign a d sell the zx and buy a 240...

 

And I've never really thought of a Volvo in that way before!

 

Sounds like you secretly want one but can't quite come to terms with it.

 

If I'd been given that, I'd be travelling round, attempting to test the Volvo-magnetism theory. Keep it in a lead lined box, go somewhere, open the box and see how many Volvos appear.

If true, I'd be expecting it's maximum efficacy to be somewhere in the M8 corridor.

 

I'm not going to attempt this. Partly because of the potential lead poisoning but I fear that it might cause so many Volvos to congregate into one spot that a singularity may be created thus creating a black hole and subsequent apocalypse.

[rml2345]

^ With great power comes great responsibility [/uncleBen]

[beko1987]

[quote name="MattLikesCars

 

 

 

 

Sounds like you secretly want one but can't quite come to terms with it.

 

 

Ah its OK, I'm not from/don't live in Scotland. If I bought one the SVM would come in the night and take it away and kill me for daring to try...

 

Myself and a colleague have been looking at lively v40s on auto trader at around the £450 mark, they do look nice, although a 1.6 might be a tad underpowered in one.

[cms206]

 

 

Ah its OK, I'm not from/don't live in Scotland. If I bought one the SVM would come in the night and take it away and kill me for daring to try...

 

Myself and a colleague have been looking at lively v40s on auto trader at around the £450 mark, they do look nice, although a 1.6 might be a tad underpowered in one.

We're really quite nice chaps and despite endorsing various Scandinavian traditions, raping and pillaging aren't amongst them. Unless it's a REALLY nice Volvo, then we might arrange a night time smash and grab raid.

 

You'd be safe with a V40...

[beko1987]

What's the point in being safe if it means I can't join the club though! Maybe a 240dl saloon is the way forward...

[Matt]

Myself and a colleague have been looking at lively v40s on auto trader at around the £450 mark, they do look nice, although a 1.6 might be a tad underpowered in one.

 

I wouldn't fancy a 1.6 in a car like that either, slow and inefficient isn't really a compromise for anything. A diesel is probably the way to go in a V/S model (unless there is something disastrously wrong with them that I don't know?)

[Split_Pin]

I imagine if you were to open this book in Scotland a bright light would shine out, the readers hair would blow back before they were sucked into some kind of Volvo Narnia where only egg is served.

[fordperv]

I imagine if you were to open this book in Scotland a bright light would shine out, the readers hair would blow back before they were sucked into some kind of Volvo Narnia where only egg and special brew is served.

 

fixed that for you

[DodgyBastard]

Anyone want a v70 estate?

 

Anybody want a running W plate Volvo V70 with test till May. Average condition, pish spec "I play golf" leather interior. Needs a couple of tyres, track rod end and a miracle. One simply cannot but fucked with it anymore nor can one be forced to drive two miles a day with a mere 140bhp. First £200 and you can have it or it's getting sent to China as fragmented shit.

 

Dunfermline

 

No pics!

[Six-cylinder]

The good book - Maybe we should get a monastery full of monks to hand copy this treasure many times and spread the word around the world! 

[Felly Magic]

If CMS grew a beard, he would look like Jesus, so he could go around preaching about the goodliness of old square Volvos

[Split_Pin]

We already have an SVM monastery, its Volvo Jim's place. Only known to the SCITCSH folk.

[cms206]

Anyone want a v70 estate?

 

Anybody want a running W plate Volvo V70 with test till May. Average condition, pish spec "I play golf" leather interior. Needs a couple of tyres, track rod end and a miracle. One simply cannot but fucked with it anymore nor can one be forced to drive two miles a day with a mere 140bhp. First £200 and you can have it or it's getting sent to China as fragmented shit.

 

Dunfermline

 

No pics!

Interested but skint.

If CMS grew a beard, he would look like Jesus, so he could go around preaching about the goodliness of old square Volvos

I had a beard, but WOMAN_CMS did nit approve. It was the Volvos or the beard.

We already have an SVM monastery, its Volvo Jim's place. Only known to the SCITCSH folk.

The Saviour Jim Volvo, parts be upon him.